Yard Bully

[Feival]

Last night I didn't bring in fellow DIY's horses as I was confused by the message sent to me and thought the lady meant could I give them hay, when I realised my mistake offered to go back and get them in but was told no. Then there was a post on face book by her husband having a go about them not being bought in, so I stood up for myself, He then started inboxing me abusive messages, Saying I am Repulsive, a waste of space, have no friends, a ponce, a piss taker, no one can stand me and so on. I have made both my YO and YM aware and have kept the messages. I don't want to move yards as I know this is what he is aiming for and I wont give in to him, but I am also now very unhappy at the yard to. Two of the other liveries saw the start of all this on face book last night and both came tot ell me it's not true and they like me and asked me not to leave, so we will see

 

[alainax]

Eh? This was resolved?

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?716777-Nasty-Horrible-Bully

 

[Feival]

No it is not resolved in any form.

 

[skint1]

Well it's good that the other liveries don't want you to go, I think all you can do is just ride it out, it will pass. And for God sake, don't help them bring in their horses or anything else again, then you can't be blamed for anything.

 

[Illusion100]

This is playing on your mind too much. The man acted out of order and said hurtful things because he clearly can't respond to you in a sensible fashion.

Are you really going to let him ruin NYE for you?! Put the twonk to the back of your mind (where he belongs) and have a drunken online dance with me!

 

[WelshD]

This is playing on your mind too much. The man acted out of order and said hurtful things because he clearly can't respond to you in a sensible fashion.

I have to agree with this, its emotionally draining for you

You said earlier that the chap had been given a warning so I would see that as a triumph personally and put it behind you

If he continues to harass you then he/his wife is the one who needs to be told to leave and you not feeling you have to go

At the end of the day you are the customer and its not your job to bring in other horses

 

[Harlequin_]

Tell him to grow up and move on

 

[Schollym]

You need to speak to the yard owner re the comments but if this person put offensive comments on Facebook you can report them to the moderators of Facebook and they can be warned about their conduct in making these type of comments. I would also be tempted to front them out but use an extremely polite but not grovelly approach as this gives you the upper hand.

 

[SpringArising]

Then there was a post on face book by her husband having a go about them not being bought in, so I stood up for myself, He then started inboxing me abusive messages, Saying I am Repulsive, a waste of space, have no friends, a ponce, a piss taker, no one can stand me and so on.

And yet he's more than happy for someone like that to handle his horses and do him a favour. Odd!

Sounds like a muppet.

 

[SusieT]

Why resort to a fb spat? Why not block him, ignore him and not have anything to do with his horses in future?

 

[Feival]

That's what I have done SusieT but I felt the YO AND YM needed to be aware too.

 

[popsdosh]

That's what I have done SusieT but I felt the YO AND YM needed to be aware too.

Its not really their problem !Its a bit like running to teacher. When we run the yard as a livery all the liveries sorted out their own squabbles or they both went! Its to easy to end up in the middle of it

I put on another thread I dont do FB because it is nothing but trouble it causes so much ill feeling and most of it is just misinterpretation of what somebody said to take offence. the same as its easy to do on here as well.

 

[DW Team]

The Tank

I could have writen your first post. I too have a yard bully who is trying so hard to get me to move off. She used to get under my skin and she posted a vile posts on FB which she took down the following morning. She and her husband both posted vile things on FB. I had screen shots of everything she wrote including the point when a relation of hers offer to come and sort me out with a Northern head but. At which point we informed yard owner. He offered to throw her off and in hindsight I wish I had the pair of them thrown off. But feeling that would me no better than her I said so long as she did not do it again I would let bygones be bygones. Big mistake. They have continued day in day out making snide comments and innuendos behind my back.

I had to get the police involved as the threat of GBH put the wind up me and having looked around his FB page it was quiet possible he would follow through a very nasty piece of work. Both husband and wife said what a good idea and it was just what I deserved.

I have moved on and really could not give a toss about her or her husband. I walk with head held high and have a smile on my face at all times when she is around this seems to get under skin. I speak when spoken too but keep out of the way or her and her crones. I will not be bullied off the yard that I like and is convenient to where I live. Jealousy is horrible and it is the only thing I can think of that she does what she does. I work hard with the herd (9) I have. I have 5 in at the moment and as I am off my feet at the moment with a horrible leg injury having been run over by one of the horses on Boxing Day. I have had to employ a groom.

Wishing you the best of luck with your yard coward. Don't let the ****** get you down. Stand up to them.

 

[AmyMay]

Why another post on the same subject?

 

[Goldenstar]

No it is not resolved in any form.

I honestly don't know what you want to resolve .
You did not bring the horses in he's got a nasty temper and took to FB to vent it .
Just ignore him
What you do expect to happen to resolve it .
And a little word of warning years ago I ran a BHS approved school we had a few DIY liveries the YOer would simply serve notice to both parties when there was any fuss like this .

 

[Kezzabell2]

why is it your responsibility to bring in someone elses horses? surely if there are two still out its not a massive issue? if it was one on its own then they might have cause for concern! he sounds like a delightful creature

 

[9tails]

We can't solve this for you. Best thing to do is carry on with your own, stick with those two liveries that showed you support and ignore this chap. The YO and YM know about it, so let it stand and see if he hangs himself. Don't escalate it any further or you could be seen as trouble too.

 

[luckyoldme]

i love the ignore totally tactic!!!!!!
Ive had two women around me whose tactics were nip, nip ,nip then play the victim the minute you gave it back.
It was hard to get used to but now that i know their game its a pleasure to ignore them, so much so that i don t evan think about them until they do something daft, and then it just makes me laugh that evan though i have done nothing or said nothing at all they still get wound up by me.
The thing is though i have a busy life and a lot on my plate...............if you did nt learn to put them in a box you would go mad.
As for bad feelings around horses, i would nt think twice about moving..thats where i spend my free time, and i have to be able to relax there.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

In the Clubhouse thread, you said he's going to be spoken to and put on a warning. Resolved, therefore, particularly if you then ignore him. What more do you want?

As an adult, I suggest you don't turn to Facebook or respond to posts on there. Block him. Responding online is adding fuel to the fire, which I'm sure you know.

 

[skint1]

You can resolve this situation really easily by not responding to his Facebook rants and more importantly by never ever raising a finger to assist them with their horse ever again. There are people who seem like they can only be civil to you as long as you're useful to them, sod those people!

 

[ISHmad]

You can resolve this situation really easily by not responding to his Facebook rants and more importantly by never ever raising a finger to assist them with their horse ever again. There are people who seem like they can only be civil to you as long as you're useful to them, sod those people!

Exactly this. Don't give him any further thought OP.