yard dilemma, serious advice needed.....

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lukeylou

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sorry if this is really long, but i feel the background info is needed for this to make sense. i have been best friends with 'A' for about 6 years. we met at my current yard and got really really close. his sister moved to a part livery yard down the road for better facilities, and works there to pay it off. A then also made plans to move. i wanted to move there too so organised to look round. after about 10 mins of awkwardness with the yard owner she said we weren't suitable (wtf!?) (she had offered us a small stable and was quite rude about it when we said really we were looking for a bigger one.) and that was that.

A moved regardless, because he felt he needed the facilities. it's been a couple of months now and i think everyday when i get down the yard and see the state of the fields and school, and generally how grotty our current yard is and wish i was with A. it's also hard to fit college and mucking out etc in so part would be really useful for me. i also miss A to death.

we've looked at several other yards with no real success, mainly because they're all full and have waiting lists. and it's really been getting me down. anyway, today we got a text from 'A's mum saying that the part livery yard owner would like us to move there and would we go and sit down with her for a cuppa and start afresh. part of me says, what a cow, not in your life time would i move there. but part of me thinks, what have i got to lose?

what do you guys think?

tea and biscuits for getting this far, and thank you in advance!
 
Dont move i wouldnt if i was you
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you could go have a cuppa and see if you can sort it out. But if it were me i can assure you i would do no such thing - someone like that doesnt bleeding deserve the buisness!! But thats just IMO
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Well she sounds like she acted like a rude idiot the first time, but it seems she wants to move on, perhaps she was having a very bad day, some people are not great at keeping their emotions in check.

You have nothing to lose, it sounds like you are very unhappy where you are, and 'you dont know till you try'.
And if it doesnt work out then find somewhere else.
Thats my take on it
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If your first impression is that she was a "cow" then I would think very carefully before moving there. But you have nothing to lose by going again to speak to her, just remember what you want and make sure she agrees. That is my opinion, for what it is worth.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.
 
Opposite to most peoples' advice so far. Move - you want to be with A, you are not there to make friends with the YO.

Go and have the cuppa and see what she has to say, perhaps she was having an off day.

You sound miserable where you are as you are missing A - you only live once, so do what makes you happy.

Good luck, hope it goes well for you
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I would go and listen to what she has to say. I would ask why she was unwelcoming the first time you went and if she has a good reason then I would move. You may as well go and see as you have nothing to lose and potentiallly lots to gain, good luck.
 
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I would go and listen to what she has to say. I would ask why she was unwelcoming the first time you went and if she has a good reason then I would move. You may as well go and see as you have nothing to lose and potentiallly lots to gain, good luck.

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Ditto this - if nothing else you get a free cup of tea
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Maybe she fancies A, thought you were competition and now realises that's not the case or maybe she was mixing you up with someone with a bad reputation and has now realised her mistake
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. It could be anything but I'd ask her straight out, tell her you need to know it's not going to go wrong as you won't be able to go back to your old yard, so you need to know it's going to last.
 
How has A been getting on there? Do they think that the YO is difficult? Seeing as they are still there I'm guessing they are getting on well so I would go for the cuppa and see what she has to say.
 
Awww Pumpkin! You should just come and join me instead!!!
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I know I'm not the best one for advice but I'd say go see her. You've got nothing to lose. And in the few days leading up to the meeting you can come up with loads of evil comebacks etc if she's still a nasty lady!
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I think I'd be a little wary but only because it was part livery - not sure I'd want someone I didn't particularly like looking after my horse!
 
I wouldn't! first impressions are everything to me. manners cost nothing and she couldnt even be civil on your first meeting. Dont give her the satisfaction!!
 
I'd be going with my gut instinct so whilst I might be moving I don't think I'd be moving to yard where A is. YO wasn't very nice to you so why bother, she might have been having a bad day but she shouldn't take it out on potential clients.
 
thank you for all your replies, i think i might go and see her and just see. i think that perhaps the only reason she's had this change of heart is that she's had a woman leave who had three horses there and needs to fill the boxes, but we'll see.

i get the impression from A and his sister that she's a bit of a a nutter, and quite controlling. but then with part livery you have to just let them get on with it really. the facilities are amazing so maybe the pros out way the cons.
 
I would go and be quite straight with her and ask 'you didn't seem very keen last time, so what has changed now?' and see how she answers you. Seems like you'd be better of with A, but ask A what her own opinion of the new YO is - she'll tell you whether you could be in for trouble I guess.
 
I would go with your 1st impression, there are plenty of people that can turn on the charm when it suits and before you know it they are stabbing you in the back. Speaking from experience i have met 2-3 people over the last few years that my 1st instinct was not to trust... i wish i had gone with it, would have saved a lot of grief.

If you want to move look for a yard that suits you not your friends, who knows maybe they will want to move to your new yard.
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I wouldn't move there. Someone like that could make your life hell and horses are supposed to be enjoyable. I think she is out to replace the money she is losing with 3 horses leaving the yard.

The way she treated you when you went the first time speaks volumes to me as to what kind of person she is. Wouldn't want her anywhere near me or more importantly my horses quite honestly.
 
This is a toughie.

I'd go for the cuppa and see what she says. However keep in mind what she was like - sounds like could be one of those who is constantly up and down. That's my absolute worse scenario. At least you know where you stand if they are a constant bitch but the whole 'nice one day, cow the next' is horrible and unsettling.

I don't know if you could face up to her and say that if you were to move that you would be her client and you'd expect to be treated and spoken to in a proper manner.

Kudos to my friend she did this from the off set and its worked very well cause YO knows that if she does kick off that it won't be tolerated. Have to say I couldn't do that thought - i'd never have the backbone
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I agree with those saying go and see what she has to say, and be quite blunt in asking why she said you 'weren't suitable' and what has happened that has made her change her mind.
Speak to A too, maybe he has been telling the YO he wants you there? I wouldn't rule out a move until you know all the facts.
 
I went to look at a yard a couple years ago, good facilities, nice looking etc etc, and straight away I clashed with the YO.

I said no, made an excuse and left it at that.

I went again, lady said she was having a bad day, apologised and said we could have a fresh start.

However when i got there, she had 'bad days' almost everyday, and there wasn't a single day go by that i wasn't nagged for something.

I left 3 months later.

Moral of the story is, as others have said, first impressions count.

I wouldn't bother going, especially after you just said 'i get the impression from A and his sister that she's a bit of a a nutter, and quite controlling'.
 
There's nothing worse than a 'nutter' running a yard... no-one knows where they stand and my guess is that A and his sister won't last there long - even with the best facilities in the world!

Don't move. you'll regret it!
 
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