Yard is making my horse and myself ill

[Shysmum]

I'm sorry, I really don't get this

If the yard is that bad, and is making you and your horse ill, you must move. There is no other option is there really ? There are yards tucked away that may not advertise, or you may have to travel some distance.

I was on a bad yard, and moving has literally changed my life, seriously for the better. Yes, it costs me DOUBLE, but my horse and I are happy and safe. it's all part of responsible ownership I'm afraid.

 

[Ibblebibble]

you seem to be putting as many obstacles in your way as the kids are it sounds like even if the arena was free you would still not be happy as it is the wrong surface and too small, therefore it seems its not the kids that are stopping you riding, it's you!
Surely there must be other yards in the area, maybe not on your doorstep but unless you look and ask you won't find

 

[JingleTingle]

You really aren't a happy bunny are you? TBH I do feel that might be just a tincey bit OTT about how 'they' are ruining your horse's health and yours.' They are stopping you from schooling and competing?

If you were really a serious competition rider you would either make damn sure you found the ways and means or move to another yard pronto.

It is the school holidays, I imagine a lot of livery yards are like a crèche at this time of the year, but thats the way of it on livery unfortunately...you have to fit in with whoever else pays the same livery as you do. Can't think ranting and raging at them all the time is likely to endear you to them and encourage some sort of compromise is it?

 

[Archiesmummy]

How far can you travel? I travel for almost half an hour to get to my yard. There are yards closer with better facilities but the hacking for me is idyllic.

Otherwise, I would be driving around and where ever you see a horse find out who owns the land or if there is a yard and go beg. Nothing will drop in your lap, you have to go out to get what you want, it may not be easy but will be well worth the hard slog if you find something better. I found my yard like this, asking around. It was not advertised, off the beaten track and people are only taken through word of mouth.

I really do hope you find a lovely, suitable yard soon.

 

[rockysmum]

Yes I could ride at 6am but the school would still be unharrowed scabby cheap sand and still measure 20x40.
I have shouted and sworn myself blue in the face at the divas and their mums but to no avail because YOs princess is the biggest spoiled villain of the lot.
Finally there is no negotiation because and I quote"These youngsters are the future of equestrianism".

Well they are the future, sounds like they are being typical kids, enjoying their ponies. Might not suit adults but the ponies seem to survive.

Be careful, because you might find yourself asked to leave before you have found anywhere else. The kids are in the majority and they might be complaining just as much about you.

Shouting and swearing at kids and their parents is just as rude as their behaviour. To be honest they are probably doing things on purpose now.

You need to find another yard quickly.

 

[4leggedfurries]

As terrible as it sounds I have to agree with the others, you need to put the effort in to find a better yard. As i've always been told:

Nobody will help you if you wont help yourself....

You have to make the effort to make your life easier, even if that means paying more/compromising/travelling etc.

I'm afraid to say I've had people like yourself OP on my private yard and despite giving them everything and for almost nothing it still wasn't enough and I was abused badly. I got screamed, shouted and swore at, people doing bunks not paying their measly bills, taking the pee damaging all my fencing, tools etc and then refusing to replace/repair and even having to call the police on several occasions. Its people like you who have now caused me to stop running a yard. And given that you have said you've shouted and swore till your blue in the face I'm amazed you havent already been kicked off....

I think you would be better off renting a field by yourself, getting a small companion pony and just getting on with what you want to do. With regards to not being able to train for competing, its a rubbish excuse, I used to do mine whilst out hacking and when my fields were dry using those to jump. There is always a way...

 

[Jazzy B]

I think if your swearing at kids, calling the YO's child a princess and the biggest spoiled villain of the lot you should probably leave before the tables turn, and you are just seen as a bully, a difficult label to loose if your moving yards in the local area. I'm a bit confused as to why you feel your horse has gone backwards, simply by not having the use of a "unharrowed scabby cheap sand" surface perhaps your a bit stressed when your on board due to the going ons and your horse is picking up on this? I would find yourself a nice adult yard and start enjoying yourself again.

 

[Shysmum]

It's almost like this isn't really a serious thread

 

[Bobbypony]

I think the quote about the future of equestrianism is not all true at 14 myself there is me and lots of others on yards everywhere and friends who are sometimes more mature than some adults on the yard we are the ones that poo pick the arena that do brush up after themselves and will tidy and brush up the indoor withot being asked

 

[ebonyallen]

From someone that is at a Poxy Little Yard, with not a very good sand school, but it suits us fine, then all you have to do as all the other have said is MOVE. If my yard was making my horse ill, then to me it really would be simple I would not put her through it, so you either Shut up or Ship Out.

 

[Bobbypony]

Sorry didnt finish before it posed but without being asked just to make it look better without being aknowledged and if we did its well you didnt have to do it. I understand what youre saying as there were other younger kids that were like youre describing but we properly spoke to them. Have you thought about a meeting with all kids and parents expressing concerns and calmly trying to get round the problem in a calm manner. Please dont tar us all with the same brush

 

[el_Snowflakes]

That's my worst nightmare! Can't be bothered with that malarkey. I like to get practice in the school & sometimes others can be off putting but generally we gave a good compromise. I would complain & see how far it gets u then if not I would move. Is stabling at home/renting a field not an option?

 

[Feathered]

Completely agree with the others. Move then. You say there's no where else, well look harder. There's always somewhere else you just may have to travel further.

If its making you that miserable, wouldn't you rather spend half hour extra in the car each day and be happy. Even if it's further than that, get out now and then you can continue to keep an eye out for something closer to home in the long term.

 

[el_Snowflakes]

Ps. OP I think others are being a little harsh- u are obviously at the end of your tether. I agree with others who said that there might be some yards tucked away which are not advertised which might suit u better. If the yard owners daughter is involved in the behaviour then your unlikely to get anywhere with your complaint. Sounds like you need somewhere more respectable & more professional and also more quiet. I have also had a word with a child who got involved in my horse/my business (in an adult fashion- no shouting/swearing!) & it was taken badly by YO but tbh I don't care- I'm a paying livery, said child isn't.

 

[mini-eventer]

If you can nit move then you HAVE to make the most of what you have got.

it is perfecty achievable to school your horse to BE100 level with a 20x40 school you will find most people at that level dont have anything larger to ride in.

I would school 3 x per week & if you make 2 of them on your days off from work then you can be flexible with times to beat the kids. The other dau I would do a 6am start to avoid the rush but keep it an easier session if the school is rough in the morning.

If you are competing to BE100 you will need to be doing a fair bit of hacking to maintain fitness si in an average week I would have a fitness hack lots of cantering, and then to more leisurely hacks but still reasonable hard work.

^^^^^^
this is based on riding 6 times a week and easily avoids the kids with only one 6am start. this is how I do it. School when you hack you do not need to go in the school every night your horse will benifit more with a nice mixed workload.

If you REALLY want it you can do it. Dont let other people become your excuses, Have the attitude that you can do it despite the odds.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

1. You don't say what the surface of the school is ??
2. Also is this the same surface that was down when you viewed the yard
3. have these kids moved in since you have been a livery
4. was the school 20 x 40 when you viewed the yard
5. You say the other yards around are worst or the same?? have you been a livery there or is this just gossip from a third party?

TBH


If the sand is the same one and you accepted it then, you knew what it was like before moving in!

Has The school got smaller? - again you knew the size before you moved?

I don't think you can judge a yard by third party gossip or by someone else s views, you can only know what a yard is like by actually being there yourself.

This is one of my pet hates - hearing this. ............ people taking opinions of a yard from someone else's views or comments.

Too many nice yards get a bad label or bad reputation or rumours start , usually from a disgruntled livery who was asked to leave or left through no fault of the yard owner or staff.

Some one did this to my yard I know which member posted it she had never been to my yard or met me she just listened to gossip.TFC removed her post .


Outdoor school:

I don't level mine as often as I should as I work alone and only have one pair of hands.

Why not ask the owner if you can level it......... if your that unhappy with a few lumps and bumps.


If you cannot move to somewhere else.

You have a few options

ride when the ankle biters are not there.
ask the owner if you can ride in the field, and set up markers if possible.
If this is possible and there are no markers I would lay your hands on some cheap ones on eBay or make some up.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Ps. OP I think others are being a little harsh- u are obviously at the end of your tether. I agree with others who said that there might be some yards tucked away which are not advertised which might suit u better. If the yard owners daughter is involved in the behaviour then your unlikely to get anywhere with your complaint. Sounds like you need somewhere more respectable & more professional and also more quiet. I have also had a word with a child who got involved in my horse/my business (in an adult fashion- no shouting/swearing!) & it was taken badly by YO but tbh I don't care- I'm a paying livery, said child isn't.

Agree with this! Basically, you and the other "adult" liveries; three of you I think you said??? are all paying for the "privilege" (if you could call it that!!) of being at this yard. But I do agree that if the YO's (spoilt brat) daughter is a perpetrator, you are not gonna get anywhere unfortunately.

But I do think you and the other liveries would have a case for speaking to the YO and expressing your concerns. You after all are paying; and because you're paying, the yard can stay open. Simples. Incidentally I'm a YO myself and there are children at our yard, BUT they're all (thank god!) well behaved and always supervised by an adult, and so we don't have a problem. But I sympathise with you and the other livery's predicament, this must be so awful.

Perhaps the three of you could do some research into what's around in your area; even consider (if possible) maybe renting a yard together??? If you all get on that is, and it would make things a lot easier for you all.

 

[You Wont Forget Me]

It's almost like this isn't really a serious thread

My thoughts exactly

 

[el_Snowflakes]

You wont forget me & shys mum- what do u mean?

 

[rockysmum]

You wont forget me & shys mum- what do u mean?

Troll

 

[Littlelegs]

It seems like two problems. Firstly arena size & surface, secondly the kids. The arena hasn't shrank since you moved there I guess. And if you were screaming & swearing at my child, especially given your posts here about being the only one that competes & coming across as 'more important', both my child & I would laugh in your face. Then I would leave her to be as selfish as she likes, after I told you exactly what I thought. Scream & swear at my child & live to regret it, no reason the parents of the kids at yours won't feel the same. And tbh, if you were actually serious about competing you'd already be schooling on hacks or at 6am. No idea why it would make yourself & your horse ill, or cause a recognized mental illness like depression. Just move. Even if local yards are 'poxy' & full of happy hackers I imagine they aren't contagious afaik.

 

[SO1]

sometimes if you are depressed your situation will seem impossible and insurmountable.

It may seem that there are no suitable yards in your area but surely you can't be the only person in your area that competes. Riding clubs are often a font of knowledge could you perhaps find your local RC and ask if they know of any competition yards or private yards that might be wanting a livery or they might know of some local to you who you let you borrow their school a couple of times a week if you have transport.

 

[rockysmum]

It seems like two problems. Firstly arena size & surface, secondly the kids. The arena hasn't shrank since you moved there I guess. And if you were screaming & swearing at my child, especially given your posts here about being the only one that competes & coming across as 'more important', both my child & I would laugh in your face. Then I would leave her to be as selfish as she likes, after I told you exactly what I thought. Scream & swear at my child & live to regret it, no reason the parents of the kids at yours won't feel the same. And tbh, if you were actually serious about competing you'd already be schooling on hacks or at 6am. No idea why it would make yourself & your horse ill, or cause a recognized mental illness like depression. Just move. Even if local yards are 'poxy' & full of happy hackers I imagine they aren't contagious afaik.

If you read the post carefully she doesn't actually compete, she wanted to. Unfortunately the horse wont hack out or go in the school either alone or when the kids are there.

OP if you do want to compete you will find a lot worse than the kids on your yard in the collecting rings and practice areas. You take your life in your hands sometimes. You should actually be thanking the kids for preparing your horse, if he cant perform with them around, he will loose the plot completely at competitions.

 

[Stilldreamin']

I used to keep my horse pretty much on my doorstep. I could get there in 5 minutes but it wasn't the right place for her. Not enough other horses, fencing not secure, no where to ride. She was a nightmare to deal with as she felt so insecure, she hurt herself on the fencing once and I was just waiting for the next time and overall I was miserable.

Now I stable my horse a good half hour's drive away and we've never been happier. In fact I am looking to move closer to the new yard in the near future! My life has been completely changed.

I guess I'm saying if there are no good yards in the area, how far afield do you have to go for one, and could you consider moving? If it's making you miserable and this is meant to be your pleasure, it may be worth making sacrifices for.

I used to share a very green horse where they had no school booking arrangement- which is insane to me. I ended up getting up at 4.30 am every day to be sure I could work him in the school alone as he did some dumb things at times and I didn't want to end up hurting anyone else!!

 

[PolarSkye]

I'm going to park the fact that you've shouted and sworn at children, that you've publicly denigrated your yard as "scabby" and that you've rubbished all helpful suggestions and ask . . .

. . . can you hack? If so, you might consider schooling while out hacking . . . it's perfectly possible to practice leg yield, shoulder in, collection, extension, etc. while out hacking. And if you can find a sneaky field to practice some circles in so much the better.

Honestly, though, I think you should move. But you won't. Because you've already decided that you can't.

Best of luck.

P

 

[Olly's crew]

There is a book called 'games people play'.
One game is 'Why don't you.... yes but'.
It's an infuriating pattern where the 'rescuers' become the victim as they try to help the 'victim' but fail to be able to provide the correct solution.

 

[ecrozier]

Seriously - just move. I've just made the move to a more expensive yard, 15 mins away rather than 2 mins, and quite a 'lifestyle' change for my horses. Only one is there ATM but I can honestly say I wish I had gone ages ago. I'm finally enjoying riding again, the hacking is fabulous and school is lovely. Worth every extra penny/mile in the car!

 

[Dancing Queen]

There is a book called 'games people play'.
One game is 'Why don't you.... yes but'.
It's an infuriating pattern where the 'rescuers' become the victim as they try to help the 'victim' but fail to be able to provide the correct solution.

Im very confused!

 

[Doncella]

Actually this is a serious thread otherwise I would not have posted.
There are no other yards because the other yards in the 20 mile radius I can work within are the same. Farmers with no idea of the needs of serious competing horse owners only chasing the money.
There are no professional yards.
I am at my wits end here. I have worked on yards here and abroad and have run yards and the ignorance here is stupefying no one wants to learn or ride properly and the parents treat it like a creche, children are dumped for the day at the yard as are their dogs. Over the past year it really has become untenable.

 

[PolarSkye]

There is a book called 'games people play'.
One game is 'Why don't you.... yes but'.
It's an infuriating pattern where the 'rescuers' become the victim as they try to help the 'victim' but fail to be able to provide the correct solution.

Yup . . . along with another little game called "I hate you . . . don't leave me." In both games, one person calls the shots and the others are left banging their heads against a brick wall.

OP . . . if you are truly depressed that would explain your negativity and your anger issues. I, too, suffer from acute depression and know only too well how it can drag you down into a black pit where everything and everyone is against you.

However, believe it or not, you have it within your gift to change your situation. You CAN move yards. You CAN find other ways to school your horse. You CAN choose to have a positive attitude about the people you share your yard with - no matter how irritating you may find them. And you CAN get treatment for your depression.

I really hope you find a way to resolve your issues . . . honestly, I do, you sound very unhappy . . . but I fear you may not find it here and may need to look within a little harder.

Best of luck.

P