Yard Managers - Moaning Liveries - help

Gingerwitch

Gingerwitch

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YM's if you have a livery that is ALWAYS complaing about everyone else on the yard do you stop listening to them or do you always believe what they say?

I tend to keep most grumbles to myself, at the end of the day i pick the place best suited to keep my horse and not being nasty to anyone - go to see my horses not the people - dont get me wrong if i can get on with everyone i will do and if i can help out i will.... but i am fed up with being asked "did you do this to so and so, so and so says you really upest her last week beacuse of x, so and so says you are being nasty to her, so and so says you always want the school at the same time as her, so and so says why wont you have a lesson with her trainer on a Thursday rather than at the trainers yard on a saturday... why do catch your horse in at x time to ride when you know her horse will want to come in, why wont you catch your horse in at x time you know she cant catch her horse until you get yours in.... yadda yadda yadda"

Now i like the yard, it is good for the horses, it is a good location for work and home.... but i am getting fed up at being moaned about constantly and being pressured into doing things her way - which my new years resolution was not to give in. I have kept to this but the acusations are getting even worse now - i was asked by the ym today why i had hit her horse with a lunge whip WTF.... i refuted the claim strongly, i really want to go and confront said livery BUT if i do it will kick off big style and i will proably end up leaving the yard - which i dont want to do..... but i actually think this is the goal of the "moaning" livery as she likes things to be done in a certain way and i dont give in to her.
 
So, is it just you she moans about or everyone?

If it is just you I would ask if you can have a chat - all 3 of you together, and keep calm, get some ground rules set.

If it is everyone, then the YM probably knows she's just a moaner.
 
sounds ridiculous to me, the trainer thing in particualr, its up to you when where and how you want to train and no body else

on the other issues your yard needs better yard rules, e.g booking schools if you want to use them privately, or just bloody ride with one other person in there big deal, not leaving horses out in fields by themselves and if you go and bring in your horse or someone else bring in theres you should not leave the other horse alone in the field, if there are staff on the staff should bring in the horse that is left out by its self rather than it being put onto the other liveries,

its the responisibilty of the yard staff and manger to make liveries happy and to deal with thier complaints not yours to change how you do things, if the other livery is unhappy with something the yard should do something to make her happier not put it on you to do it,
 
I agree with whats already been said. At the end of the day, your responsibility is to your horse and it's up to you to go at the times that suit you. I certainly wouldn't be shiftingmy times etc around just to suit another livery.

I'm paying to keep my horse there and have just as much right etc as her. As said, can you get other livery and YM together so that you can discuss your concerns as I've been in a similar position and ended up moving because of the tension that occurred. It started affecting my horse to where her behaviour became dangerous - due to me being unhappy.
 
well i go to yard i do my 2 to suit me and my horses and no one else - i keep self to self but always ready to help certain ppl if they need help - my YO looks for simple easy life but I have told her if i see a certain person smoking on the yard again- she as been told time and time again - I will punch her lights out ( im a smoker btw) and also i turn a blind eye to what ppl do as long as my 2 or other horse arnt in danger - i have given up been a good livery watching out for kids when parents dont care and are rude
im afraid :(
 
Gosh who'd be a Yard Owner! I am (for my sins) and it seems to me that you, the "problem" livery and the YO need to get together and have a chat. If you've all signed up to a contract, this should give a good basis on what is acceptable behaviour and what is not; and dependent on what the contract says, in a bigger yard (which I presume yours is?) there may well be something in there about behaviour to other liveries; responsibility for "doing" horses etc etc.

Personally, as a YO, if I knew anyone was smoking on the yard they'd be sent up the road PDQ: no YO worth their salt would tolerate that on the yard. No way.

Whilst it might be tempting to speak your mind to the other livery; I wonder if there might be a better way forward which avoids confrontation. Pardon me for saying this, but it feels a little as if you might need to just, for now, take a step back and re-evaluate your situation.

I think the wisest course of action is for you to (politely and calmly, not slagging off the other livery!) have a word with the YO and perhaps get you and the other livery(s) on the yard together for an informal chat. IF contracts are in place, that's a good basis; however, if there are not any contracts on the yard I'd strongly advise you and the YO to get this sorted, for everyone's benefit, straight away.
 
I take it that it is one person who keeps complaining and that one person does not have the courage to speak to you directly?

In which case, agree that the best way forward would be to politely (!) request a 3 way meeting. Tell your YO you think that this is the best way to resolve it - and point out it can't be pleasant for HER to keep being grumbled at and effectively having to act as someone elses mouthpiece. I would take each complaint though seperately to deal with so - horses, put them out with different horses then! not your problem if your timings don't fit in with someone else, ditto for the trainer - if Sat is convenient for you and not Thursday then that is all there is to it! As for hitting her horse with a lunge whip... you refuted it - strongly - but I would bring up the fact that you do not appreciate lies being told either. End of the day you have 2 options - you bring this to a head and the other livery leaves you alone or you leave!
 
As another YO I think it is unfortunate that things get to this level rather than being put to bed as soon as they start. Having a good atmosphere with happy clients is very important to me and I tell them before they arrive that I do not tollerate bitchiness or gossip. Very occasionally I have experienced someone who demonstrates those characteristics and, after a warning, if it continues I have asked them to leave.

I must be doing something right as my liveries have been with me 18 years, 13 years, 9 years, 7 years and 2 years. :)
 
Hi, yards can be so difficult I sympathise!! Like you I now go to see my horses and not the people, I used to try to be more sociable but after the comments made when my horse had back problems along with the2 faced behaviour when there was strangles on the yard I have completely switched off now. It does sometimes feel as if your face needs to fit and if it does you can say anything, doesnt it.? Your YO should sort this out, I dont agree you should have to meet with the other livery owner unless you have issues about her, it sounds like she is the one who is complaining not the other way round.
It does surprise me the lack of consideration some people have. I dont expect people to work around me in any way and am always making sure we are not in anyones way or inconveniencing anyone.
 
My stance on my yard is....
if one individual is constantly complaining about everyone else, or everything else that no-one has an issue with - this said individual has nothing better to do in their life and is out to cause trouble = they are off my yard as my liveries come to enjoy their hobby, not to get involved/has to be surrounded by bitching!
The yard doesnt make money, so liveries like that really are not worth the hassle and issues they can cause on a yard!

(thankfully in the nearly 10 years i've had a yard, we have rarely had such liveries on!)
 
Can you not arrange to have a meet up with her and the YO and discuss both your problems over a cuppa tea? (preferably a herbal one with calming influences lol)

YO can listen to both of you and suggest a way forward so both of you can get along a bit more easily?

Gives you both a chance to get things of your chest but in a controlled and calm way, it may be that both of you will need to compromise on certain things and a bit of give and take on both your parts?
 
Just seen the smoking part of this thread!!

I have thrown people off my yard for ignoring the no smoking rule! Said individuals ignored the rules, ignored the signs and also then carried on smoking on the yard once they have been told again about the rule. needless to say they were told to find elsewhere to stable.

No yard should allow smoking on the yard - simple. Its for the welfare and safety of horses, and owners. And even if that doesnt worry YOs/liveries on yards which allow it - IF there was a fire - i imagine the insurance would say the YO was down right negligent!
 
No one is allowed to touch said horse - so i could not bring it in - if it is the last horse out with mine i have to phone the ym or wait for said owners to catch horse in - and yep you guessed it if they know i want to catch in they will go and muck out etc - bear in mind the horses come in at 2.30 ish on a weekday, but they dont rock up until 4pm ish on a weekend and then we usually have one hissey fit or another .

No its not just me they maon about, its virtually everyone, but if anything is said the tears come on and we all get reminded on how lucky she is to even be alive (cancer treatment) and she tugs at the ym's heart strings with this ! getting a bit old hat now though.

Yesterday one of the other girls was walking down the field to catch her horse in - the numpty owners went into the field - and shook a feed bucket, yep all the horses galloped to the gate nearly knocking the poor girl over whom was walking down the field, the horses screatched to a halt - nice way of cutting up the little grass we have left, and caused a right fight at the gate.... well the version going round from her today is "the horses stampeeded me, its the new girls horse.... i cant have my horse in the same field as her. i cant cope with this, ime still on mediaction you know blah blah blah"
 
Sanolly said:
On the yard :eek: OMG how dangerous? However having said that I worked for a well known event yard a few years ago and we were allowed to smoke on the yard albeit away from the haybarn.
Click to expand...

Bit of an over reaction ? I didn't know concrete was flammable ? Give smokers some credit for not smoking near hay and stables and any flammables. We smoke away from buildings and storage areas,its common sense. Those that smoke irresponsibly are complete idiots. I've have never been on a yard that had a smoking ban yet.
 
Re. the smoking issue (sorry to digress from OP's original topic); again, as a YO I'm responsible for other people's horses. Also, for our sins, we're Grade 2 listed here. My livery contract states very clearly that the whole yard plus its environs are non-smoking and that anyone found smoking will be asked to leave forthwith, and they sign that or go elsewhere.

I'm not gonna risk not just my property, but my horse, and other people's entrusted to my care, plus risk the insurance saying I was negligent in allowing smoking: just so someone can indulge their habit.

If you wanna smoke, then fine, get your own place, smoke to your hearts content, burn the place down and cook your horses alive, and be happy; but don't come here.
 
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