Yard move dilemma !

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Lauren1993

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Hi all,
I’m very torn, it’s along one so buckle in!

I have the opportunity to move to a local livery yard where I was previously (loved it until I had young children) I moved 3 years ago due to some not nice people being there and making the yard not a nice place to be.
Those people have left !

I currently have my own little place .. between my children’s school & my work in the village we live in.
It is very basic & we have spent around £500 atleast making it what it is. Built some diy stables, hay storage, fencing, mud mats etc.
my rent has just been increased making it financially equal to going back to my old yard.

The pros of the livery yard ..
they have an indoor school & all stables are all in a large indoor barn - this is great for my children who do not like the bad weather, they end up sitting in the car at my current yard & moaning to go home.
We’d be able to ride after school all year round, when it’s dark, bad weather - my daughter can have consistent lessons on her pony.
We currently have to hack to my work to use the school there & when I have both children with me it’s just a no go so can only be done when my partner is around.
My riding friends are all at this livery yard - who I currently ride out with when I can … it’s in hacking distance currently.
Other children ! To play with, ride with etc.
Ad lib hay & bedding is included in rent ! Where as I’m responsible for all hay & bedding deliveries (only storage for 1 bale at a time) so running out at a weekend is a nightmare.

Cons ….
Losing my own place … once I’ve left that will be it no going back !
Loss of the money spent. I do know someone who would love to take it on & mane they would pay me for what I leave behind .. stables etc.
Less control & doing what I want when I want.
Logistically … the livery yard isn’t between school & my work … so we would have to go 1st thing before school where as now I do the school run then the yard then work & can pop the yard on my lunch, before pick up etc.
Being alone … which sometimes is great other times is lonely & I rush to get home… livery yard will be busier & take longer to get stuff done.

I just don’t know & dont what to rush into a decision & regret it 😣

What would you do !?
 
Trouper said:
What about renting your own place to start with so that you don't lose it entirely?
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Not sure what you mean ?

We rent ‘our own’ yard at the moment so if I was to leave the owner could let it out to someone when I leave.

I wouldn’t be able to afford to rent here & pay the livery yard unfortunately so that’s not an option.

Only thing I could do is speak to my owner & see what they say about moving as a trial & see what they say … I’m sure they would still want rent tho up until I make a decision.

The owners live onsite so I do have to think about them & causing an issues for them.
 
Obviously it’s a dream having our own place but it definitely has its down sides ! Especially because it’s more of a make shift yard & im limited to what I can do with it etc.

In the summer it is obviously much better & i dont know if i be be thinking about it. But half of our year is spent like this so 🤷🏻‍♀️

My friends desperate for me to go but I’m so torn 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
For me, I always go for my own yard given the choice. I suppose it would be better on livery fir your children assuming you can use the schools at the times you want. It's a really difficult one!!
 
Could you get anyone else in to your current set up for company/help?
Without the children - I'd stay at my own yard.
With the children i see the attraction of being somewhere with other kids - makes it much more fun for them. What age are kids are they anywhere near old enough to be left at home while you do the yard?
 
The thing that would be in my mind is what happens if horrible people move to the livery yard and make it unbearable again? Also, how do you feel having to play by any rules after having your own place. It’s a real tricky one!
 
Lilly-Mayspookatbags said:
You’ve not mentioned logistics …

Distance to each?
Cost?
Full livery? DIY? Part livery?

How will the new yard charge in terms of day to day?
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Yes so …
We live in the village .. my usual routine would be… school drop, yard, then work they are located like that in the village.
Then I do yard on my
Lunch sometimes on my way to let the dog out then after work I can either pop yard or do school run first then horses.

Livery yard would have to be 1st thing & last thing if we moved.
It is DIY but there are friends that could help me & I can pay for extra turn outs or bring ins.

Livery yard is just outside of the village but still 100% doable. Just a 5 min drive compared to a 1 min drive.

I do pay a teenage girl to help me currently - which I have no issue with. For holidays, days out, last min family issues. I can get her to run up & help.
But this ain’t my issue with being at my own yard.

Financially minus the maintenance at my ow yard (fencing etc.) livery DIY is the same cost at my own to the livery yard.

My children have their own pony, at the moment they can only ride at weekend in good weather … I have my horse who I ride when I can, when parter is home etc.
summer we can do afterschool hacks & hack to the school down the road for a weekend lesson.
My children are 6 & 3 so I’m good way off being able to leave them at home.

When I was at the livery I had a newborn & a 3 year old with 1 pony, life was abit tricky … now it’s easier. My children are very well behaved & I know they would love being back on that yard without the horrible people.

That is an issue I guess you never know what people are going to come & could happen again.
It was an issue with my pushchair with my newborn in scaring their horse when I was going about the yard, their horses also didn’t like my daughter’s pony … so if you ask me it was their issue not mine 😅 but they were rude, swearing infront of my children & just made it a horrible place to be after it being such a lovely family yard for years
 
In your current situation I think I'd move back to the livery yard. I agree it's a tough one and I'm not surprised you're reluctant to let your place go, but given that the children are quite small, the convenient indoor setup of the livery yard, plus having someone else to manage hay / bedding orders etc, would swing it for me. Plus both you and the children will have friends to ride with which can't be underestimated!

Re the possibility of other nasty liveries moving on, you might just have to grow a thicker skin and try to let it bounce off. As you say, the previous nastiness sounds like a "them problem" not a "you problem".
 
Lauren1993 said:
Not sure what you mean ?

We rent ‘our own’ yard at the moment so if I was to leave the owner could let it out to someone when I leave.

I wouldn’t be able to afford to rent here & pay the livery yard unfortunately so that’s not an option.

Only thing I could do is speak to my owner & see what they say about moving as a trial & see what they say … I’m sure they would still want rent tho up until I make a decision.

The owners live onsite so I do have to think about them & causing an issues for them.
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Missed the fact that you are already renting - bummer!!!
 
Another thought- build a shed for the kids to play in, with heater + kids stuff at current place? Then no car, they've a safe, warm,lit place to be and you have your own place which in 5 years time may feel more appealing! Could you also consider a trial month for kids pony at new yard?
 
With the kids I think the yard will be better, assuming it's child friendly. Have you thought about taking down the stables and mats etc? Part of me wonders if you making it so nice has made the landowners realise they could get a lot more, now and they might have a rethink if you point out that you will be leaving it in the same state you found it...
 
usually i’d say your own place all day long, but in your situation i’d move back to the livery yard…i can’t imagine 2 grumpy kids being great company in winter!🤣 you pay a lot of money for the kids to have a pony, there’s no point shelling out for it if they’re not enjoying it, and in turn you don’t enjoy it as much!

i know jobs take longer on livery with people around, but there might be some time saved by the children being occupied if they’ve got friends at the livery.

indoor school would have me loading up and going, since you already know you like this yard🤣
 
I did think if I left it rather take everything or se if they or next people would pay me to leave every thing.

I did think about a caravan for the kids to chill & play in but not sure if owner would allow that - sometimes I do feel like I’ve pushed my luck enough 🥴

When they asked for the increase in rent she just said it’s only fair … obviously I just agreed & don’t quibble with an old lady.

I can’t only move the pony to livery yard, my horse would be left alone at my current set up so that’s not an option.

Horrible people have left the livery yard - I popped there yesterday & seen the 2 stables. One pony & 1 horse stable but they are apart so would have to go opposite ends of the yard to sort them both (not a huge issue just makes everything more time consuming)

Yard is child friendly & other children there to play with & ride with regularly.

I think come the spring I maybe wouldn’t be asking 🤦🏻‍♀️
If I could keep my yard & move to the livery yard for the winter I’d be winning !
But I can’t afford to pay both for 3 months I don’t think.🤔….
I’d only need to pay rent at my yard so £120 a month (no hay, bedding etc. if I’m not there)
Then livery yard ALL IN - hay, bedding etc. about £290 per month

I’m currently spending £120 rent, 3 bales of hay a month so £150, bedding £20 = £290

So if I was to just pay rent to keep my yard & then move to livery yard for 3 months I’d be paying £410 per month for my 2 horses.
 
My friend has been on this yard previously for many years … she’s now moved on & up & employed at a 5* livery yard where she keeps hers so her response was ‘NOOO its a shit hole & still very bitchy you’d be stupid to move’

But my friend on the livery yard currently who I ride with weekly is desperate for me to go.

There is a family there I know would help out by possibly part loaning our pony so that’s a plus too !

My partner says no but he built my stables with his bare hands & has put a lot of hours into our yard so I’d biased & doesn’t like livery yard but that’s tough & will have to go where ever I go 😅
 
Lauren1993 said:
My friend has been on this yard previously for many years … she’s now moved on & up & employed at a 5* livery yard where she keeps hers so her response was ‘NOOO its a shit hole & still very bitchy you’d be stupid to move’

But my friend on the livery yard currently who I ride with weekly is desperate for me to go.

There is a family there I know would help out by possibly part loaning our pony so that’s a plus too !

My partner says no but he built my stables with his bare hands & has put a lot of hours into our yard so I’d biased & doesn’t like livery yard but that’s tough & will have to go where ever I go 😅
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honestly, if the person who caused the drama when you were there before is still there, it really isn't worth moving back!
 
I have never know a horse yard to not be bitchy to some extent !

Old horrible people have gone. Just be if any new people are there that I haven’t met / had encounters with yet.

My friend who is there just wants to have me there to ride with & spend time with more often x
 
Lauren1993 said:
I have never know a horse yard to not be bitchy to some extent !

Old horrible people have gone. Just be if any new people are there that I haven’t met / had encounters with yet.

My friend who is there just wants to have me there to ride with & spend time with more often x
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ah okay, well if they've gone then go for it!
 
I know you raised many pros and cons but what stood out most for me initially when reading your post was the children sitting in the car over winter wanting to go home. But then I saw your logistics would have to change with a move and you’d have to go to the livery yard before school. I don’t know the finer detail but might you end up with unhappy children in the dark, cold winter mornings, not wanting to go to the yard?

If you think you’d be happier where you are now over summer, then I would stay. We’re nearly at the point of days getting lighter again and I find summer makes up for the winter slog so would want to be where I’m happiest then.
 
I think children and livery yards aren’t an easy mix, unless it’s a specifically family friendly yard. Too much can go wrong, other people’s not child friendly horses can be frightened or kick out, owners can complain about even well behaved children, children can feel frustrated because they must walk and be quiet and not play. Your own space solves those problems - is it big enough for a friend to join you?
 
maya2008 said:
I think children and livery yards aren’t an easy mix, unless it’s a specifically family friendly yard. Too much can go wrong, other people’s not child friendly horses can be frightened or kick out, owners can complain about even well behaved children, children can feel frustrated because they must walk and be quiet and not play. Your own space solves those problems - is it big enough for a friend to join you?
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This was the exact reason we moved here to our own place. Freedom for the children.

No unfortunately not. my 2 have just enough grazing & the mud is terrible already. Only 2 stables.

I think the only thing that is pulling me to the livery yard is the fact that it’s all indoors … stables, menage etc. & there are other children there.

Freedom is keeping me here.

It is the only livery yard that makes financial sense due to all hay & bedding being included. I’ve weighed another yard up locally & that is just not doable money wise as it doubles my rent but still keeping the hay & bedding costs !
 
This has been the livery yard I’ve always gone back to ever since I’ve had horses so I know I like it there … but this was mainly pre children & work, children, pony balance 🥴 life is very different now.
 
Also if I left here I’m leaving behind £400-£500 of stables, fencing, work we’ve done that we can’t take with us … this is the part my partner isn’t happy about. We’ve put a lot of time & money into the place & if we walk away it’s gone.

If we hadn’t or could get our money back or take with us I think that would sweat my decision more.
 
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