yard move - People taking it personally

[noblesteed]

Why do people take it personally when you move yards? Why does it cause so much tension? Why does it always involve falling out and making enemies?
Honestly it's far worse than changing jobs - people can't just accept you are moving on for your own reasons whatever they may be... I have moved today after 3 years at the same place - which was lovely, but wasn't convenient any more since I had my baby and became a working mum... So now it seems the people I thought were friends are actually not... It always seems to happen though, every yard you are at - as soon as you leave you become the enemy!!!!
I just don't get it!!!! If you get a new job, people are pleased for you and wish you luck! If you move house they wish you well! But when you move yards people say they 'hope you don't ruin your horse', 'hope you can handle him all by yourself without OUR help' and roll their eyes behind your back... Then make you feel guilty for leaving them with an empty stable...

Sorry. Rant over.

 

[nikicb]

I know exactly what you mean. Some years ago, I left a yard I had been on for several years to go to my friend's yard she had just bought. She schooled my horse for me and taught me at the other yard (which previous YOs were totally happy with) so it made perfect sense to move to her yard. I turned up one day (during my notice period) to find all my stuff dumped in a pile and asked to move as soon as I could. These were people I had socialised with and had round to my own house on many occasions for parties, dinner etc. over the previous 6/7 years and invited to my wedding reception. It really upset me at the time.

Good luck at your new place.

 

[Emilieu]

God its awful isn't it? My fellow liveries were not awful when I left but my YO was, totally lost the plot and ordered me to get off the yard within 24 hours, it was dreadful. That was the most stressful week ever, I felt constantly sick.
Hope you love the new yard as much as I love mine x

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

The problem is horsey people are sooo opinionated. Everyone has an opinion on what you should do with your horse, I take what I need from opinions given but yards are something I just don't do as I can't stand the politics.

I was on a yard as the yard girl then worked my way up to head groom! Was there ten years did everything they asked for and as soon as I said I was leaving as I had the chance to have my horse on my doorstep I was the biggest cow ever

Why I won't be doing livery yards again if I can get away with it and if I do I won't be fraternising, learned my lessons with the general horsey public, one here is the biggest yard ever after all

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

I was at one yard for almost 3 years & in that time I did most of the running repairs there. I repaired broken fences, replaced light fittings, rodded drains, painted the entire yard (17 stables), repaired & made new jump wings, maintained the arena etc etc all for just the cost of materials. Then when I gave my notice to move to another yard I received nothing but abuse from some & was sent to Coventry by others.

 

[Mongoose11]

Everyone at my last yard travelled 300 miles to be at my wedding. The minute I left that yard due to a house move I was excommunicated and haven't heard a word. One girl did phone me once and then got a massive ear bashing from YO for 'keeping me informed'. Down right weird.

 

[ihatework]

Really? Maybe I'm lucky, over many years only one yard I have left has the YO been an arse, never had an issue with any liveries and have friends scattered across 4 or 5 different yards

 

[BlackRider]

Yes - its very odd, and as soon as someone leaves, they are excommunicated...

 

[horsemad67]

I really feel for all of you that have bad experiences, my partner always says he cannot believe how bitchy horse people can be as he has had to cope with me being upset many times. I also thought that I hade made many good friends but don,t see or speak to them now. I could never go back to a livery yard, too many yard politics and too many people who think they know it all and always have to put you down with everything you do.

 

[Tilda]

I have moved yards a number of times over the years and I know I am welcome back at all but one of those yards in fact everytime my first yard owner knows I am thinking of moving she calls me and offers me a place even though she knows I moved to be closer to home. I have been at current yard 2 years and love it so not planning on moving but if I did I know I would stay friend's with nearly all the liveries and the yard managers because we really are like one big happy family (sickening isn't it!).

The one yard I assume I wouldn't be welcome at is unfortunately the closest to my house and I left on good terms with the then yard manager. Unfortunately it has been taken over by the reason I left 2 groups of people who think they are the best thing since sliced bread, are rude, arrogant, treat their horses appallingly and I have heard treat their liveries even worse because they don't really want them there.

I have however chosen to keep my horses further from home because of the cliquey, bitchy reputation of nearly all the yards within a 10 minute drive of my house. I have a friend who has moved around trying to get away from these people only to move to a yard where the people are just as bad.

I guess I have never been let down by people I thought were friends is because I have been careful about who I make friends with at the yard. Not that I am rude to everyone else I am pleasant but just don't seek out their company. I guess working in recruitment I am a good judge of people and know the one's I will and won't get on with.

 

[SO1]

I think it is depends on the situation, if someone is moving because they are moving out of the area or their situation changes eg they need part livery due to family/work commitments etc and yard does not offer it then people tend to part on good company.

However people who move because they are not happy with service/facilities often start moaning quite a while before they go and this can upset other liveries and make them feel like they are not doing the best for their horses etc and it can understandably upset the YO and have a negative impact on their business so this might make the person leaving less popular. There is a big difference from someone leaving because they are moving 100 miles away but they would recommend the yard to others than to someone leaving because they are unhappy and would not recomend.

There is a very low turnover on the yard I am on but I have only stayed in contact with one person who has left as she is in the same RC - I am temporarily away as I need full livery and specialist rehabilitation services whilst my pony is recovering from an injury but i intend to go back when he is recovered. Friends from the yard have texted me and called and I have kept in contact with YO but it is hard as everyone is busy and it is different from when you are there everyday and chatting to friends etc so I see how people could drift apart.

Another thing is at yards where people are reasonable sensible people everyone tries to get on even if they don't have much in common or don't necessarily agree with everything everyone does as we all want to be in a calm nice environment. When people leave people then may let loose about how they really feel or not stay in touch as they don't have any reason to.

 

[Leighb]

I told the YO of my old livery yard I wanted to move somewhere that had a school I could ride in as I wasn't riding my then horse due to not feeling comfortable enough to ride in a massive open field with a flighty ex racer! So I gave them my notice to leave.

The following day I turned up to see to the horses and was promptly screamed at in the car park, by YO, her husband, daughter and daughters boyfriend, and told to get my *******ing horses and leave their *******ing yard today!

I managed to get somewhere to go and we were all moved within a couple of hours but I'm still owed my deposit, and I had paid a months livery only 2 days beforehand. All in all in owed about £400 =\ this was April!

Obviously not getting it back anytime soon!

 

[Lissa]

I've always been lucky with leaving yards I think. Was on one yard well two but owned/run by same person from age 6 to 19. Left because it got to the point I had no one to ride with and it was in the middle of no where, owner was fine about it and we still go over to see her and the other people there and have lessons as she's one of my instructors.

Though I do have friends that left the first yard owned by this person and were told not to come onto yard again or actually I was told she didn't want them on the yard again after they came to help me with my pony one day and were on the yard about 10mins and she just happened to see them. The reason they left was reasonable but she totally over reacted to it and treated them quite bad even though they were around 14 and 18 at the time! I always got on with her though apart from the odd thing, but a lot of people haven't.

Was at next yard for about a year and a half, made loads of friends was a great yard just not good turnout which didn't suit my new pony who I bought last october. Moved in june and still go back for competitions and to hire facilites. If anything the YO actually talks to me and my friend more than she did when we were there! Every one is still really friendly and asking how we are etc and again one person who I pretty much hated, I now think she's ok and talk quite a bit when over there.

 

[Copperpot]

I must be lucky too. Has never happened to me and am still friends with people off my old yard(s). Am just about to move back to a yard I left about 3 years ago. I always leave on good terms, as you never know when you may want to go back

 

[Wagtail]

I am a yard owner and have mainly stayed in contact with ex liveries who often come and vist. Only one livery really upset me when she left, because she had always said she would never have her horses anywhere else, then suddenly when I was very ill and had to cancel a couple of lessons (all horses were still fully cared for), she gave that as a reason for leaving. But she was a really unstable and insincere person. I found out loads of unsavory things about her since.She upset several of my other liveries who were thinking of leaving if she hadn't first. Even her own daughter had told me she always fell out with any friends within six months. So I suppose I did quite well as she was here two years. But whilst I love to see all my other ex liveries, I would cross the street rather than speak to her again.

 

[Shutterbug]

I have been on 3 different yards - left my first yard to go DIY at a small local yard and was waved off and told I was welcome back anytime. I then moved to another yard nearby where my RI had a livery and was there for a while - that didnt work out though so I went back to the first large yard and was welcomed back with open arms - sadly they put their prices up and I missed DIY and being nearer to my horse so I left there again and went back to the small local yard again, where I was again welcomed back with a smile. I know I could go back to any of the other 2 yards I was on anytime as I have always left on good terms and with a smile and a thank you - Im sure most people do leave yards on good terms and its a shame if they then change their attitude - cant understand it myself.

 

[DragonSlayer]

I've just had someone give notice today. I'm quite happy about it, the reasons shes given, though she didn't have to, are perfectly valid reasons.

Why on earth some people get their knickers in a twist is beyond me. We will still be able to meet up on the network of bridleways to hack out.

 

[Joanna710]

Unfortunately it happens The last yard I was at had some really lovely liveries, however I fell out with the owner of a horse I used to share there, and it made things very uncomfortable. In the end I left, after a series of nasty events and exchanges... The new place is much bigger and I try to distance myself from other people, whilst trying not to come across as snooty. I don't feel it's worth becoming really close with anyone at the new place, just in case a similar situation arises. Sucks a bit, but I like the new place and have no intention of leaving

One thing that pissed me off though was the number of people who removed me from their facebook pages after I abandoned ship! Even though my leaving had nothing to do with them, I couldn't believe how petty they were

 

[mandwhy]

How bizarre and cliquey the horse world can be. Thankfully I tend to avoid livery yards and get along with people even if they are a pain as mostly I feel they are insecure, but how sad to have people who you were once friends with reject you!

If I ever have to do it ill tell everyone I'm moving to Scotland and only go out incognito? 'no that's not her, her horse isn't blue'...

 

[Aztecflyer]

I know exactly how you feel.

I made the choice to move one of mine (other is my mums) to be with a good friend after she got kicked off (all the liveries then voiced how unfair the YO was just chucking her off and some said they would leave as they hated the YO) the minute i gave my notice in and the liveries found out i felt very unwelcome and they little help i had stopped. The Owner made me feel unwelcome and i hated going up all they liveries then went on saying it was such a wonderful yard and why would i want to leave! the day i left no one said goodby. I have moved to such a nice yard with a lovely YO and my Friends.

But seeing as my mums horse is still there i have help out a few times and been ignored by all the liveries and YO. If i do speak to them its for them to tell me how amazing the place is! (because i want my horse out with 6 others in 1.3 acres of land??)

Why can people not except you want and have the guts to leave?

 

[MileAMinute]

Urgh I dread it! Every yard bar 2 has been funny about me going, even though it's been for completely valid reasons (closer to home, needing different type of livery than they provide etc).

I've never left on bad terms but the atmosphere leading up to me going was like I'd committed some heinous crime!

 

[Georgie-]

Oh lord... I recently left a yard (a field with an automatic waterer and a box for tax). I bought a horse from the YO which I had loaned for 3 years. A month later I decided I wanted to move to a yard with a stable monitored grazing and running water taps and electric. So I did telling her a month in advance which was the agreed notice period.

The yard owner called me all the names under the sun. The going on to say I'm a sob story a nasty person and a liar. Saying that she would never have sold me a horse knowing I would move it from her property and she regretted ever dealing with me.

Bearing in mind I'd known this woman for 12 years prior to all this and worked for her looking after her children dogs and horses and helped to run her Riding School.

I also paid through my bum for this horse (double what she's be worth to any one else who'd want to buy her) and YO called it mates rates... some mate!!!

All I did was want what was best for my girl who's not getting any younger!

Charming! So I left 3 days after the disagreement.

 

[Bubble734]

I don't have my own horse but i get the impression that similar things happen where I ride. When staff have left they are either bitched about or seemingly never mentioned- as if they were never there. They are often deleted on Facebook by the manager and others. There was one girl who worked there for a few years and was incredibly dedicated and a real asset to the team, was very close to the manger almost like a daughter and I thought she'd be there forever. I don't know the exact details but she left and they did not part on good terms and are no longer speaking. If the riding school was a livery yard I'm sure this would also happen with liveries leaving. I honestly thought it was just my yard that was this bitchy and gossipy (every one working there is spoken about behind their back and the manager is always falling out with people) but seems like it's quite common..childish really