yard owner likes to talk... about customers.

WandaMare said:
This^^ I don't understand why you aren't looking for somewhere else. Talking about other liveries isn't an ideal situation but maybe she thought she could trust you. While it might be a tad unprofessional, I don't think its that bad. Its probably because you are generally unhappy there that it has got a bit out of perspective.
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There are things that bug me about the yard, yes. No yard is perfect hence why decided to stay. It's the knock on effect. Things pile up then one day you wake up and decide "this isn't working for me anymore" I am looking. It's top of the agenda at the moment.

I think people (especially horsey ones) need to be less tolerant of bad manners and I honestly didn't think I would stand alone on the unprofessional front regarding someone who is actively talking about a paying customer.

Itergrity is everything in my book.

I'm not lowering my standards just because it's what I should expect. If that was the attitude everyone had women would still be expected to ride side saddle.
 
With the shoe on the other foot, I am a yard owner and I would be less than pleased to see some of my livery owners talking about ME on a public forum, it kind of amounts to the same thing.
You may think you are anonymous on here, but in reality you aren't. It wouldn't take much for said yard owner to know that you are talking about them.

I've caught one of my liveries out in this way.
 
saalsk said:
I learnt ( after several experiences ! ) that a very bland smile, along with a "I just worry about my horse, I have no idea what others do, and frankly, it isn't my business to know, or comment on it" and carry on with what you are doing - they soon realise they are not getting any reaction from you, that you are not interested in gossiping, and are not going to join in with their attacks on other liveries.
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This is normally my approach with other liveries but since they are the owners I feel like my hands are tied! I may give this a go... be brave!! Haha thank you.
 
charlie76 said:
With the shoe on the other foot, I am a yard owner and I would be less than pleased to see some of my livery owners talking about ME on a public forum, it kind of amounts to the same thing.
You may think you are anonymous on here, but in reality you aren't. It wouldn't take much for said yard owner to know that you are talking about them.

I've caught one of my liveries out in this way.
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Might make them realise what they are doing.

I'm not saying I'm perfect and they are the scum of the earth BUT there is a way of talking TO people.

I don't think I'm going to get it through to the horsey community that when you take money, you are supposed to behave in a certain way.

Had the owners been more professional I doubt I'd be looking elsewhere. There are plain nasty people in this world and I can easily forgive and forget. But without spilling some very intimate details of a fellow Livery what has been talked about is far beyond forgetting.

Please remember I am aware I'm posting this in a forum and would not dare speak so openly about issues (the same issues I was getting spoken to about) online. Not to secure my safety of being confronted but to spare the feelings of someone who I regard as a friend also.
 
Reinforce that as a livery, it isn't your place to judge/criticise/comment on what others do. You don't need to say it so bluntly - simply remind them that as a livery you are there to sort out YOUR horse, not monitor others.

"Do they ? I don't notice, I just come here to look after my own horse, he's so sweet - you should have seen him the other day pulling faces at his water bucket...."

" Really ? wow, I am so glad I am not a livery yard owner, I much prefer just having to worry about my own horses, and not anyone else's. Mind you, I never even notice what others are doing , as my youngster ( etc ) is so funny when I put his bed into banks to wash the matting..."

Etc

No offence to any yard owners ( or YM ) I have been on some that are fabulous, and there were tears that were not even helped by wine and chocolate when I had to leave for a new house location. However there were some that were odd, some clique'y and some just mean. 30 years of yards, and I am now extremely lucky to have my own place. I can leave the hoof pick where I like...
 
saalsk said:
Reinforce that as a livery, it isn't your place to judge/criticise/comment on what others do. You don't need to say it so bluntly - simply remind them that as a livery you are there to sort out YOUR horse, not monitor others.

"Do they ? I don't notice, I just come here to look after my own horse, he's so sweet - you should have seen him the other day pulling faces at his water bucket...."

" Really ? wow, I am so glad I am not a livery yard owner, I much prefer just having to worry about my own horses, and not anyone else's. Mind you, I never even notice what others are doing , as my youngster ( etc ) is so funny when I put his bed into banks to wash the matting..."

Etc

No offence to any yard owners ( or YM ) I have been on some that are fabulous, and there were tears that were not even helped by wine and chocolate when I had to leave for a new house location. However there were some that were odd, some clique'y and some just mean. 30 years of yards, and I am now extremely lucky to have my own place. I can leave the hoof pick where I like...
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You're living the dream!
 
Jack&Gill said:
You're living the dream!
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I so am are !

The days of having to stop a lesson to poo pick the school are gone. Sometimes, I see my lad's tail start to raise in that *special* way and I am still running for the scoop, in case someone see's that I didn't clear it away *before* it hit the ground !

With the boot on the other shoe - I have had a YM who would do anything she could to make our lives easier, and would do mid-day fly spray, every day, for all 34 horses, throughout the summer, for 0 pence ! She was awesome, friendly, professional, and very very knowledgeable.
 
saalsk said:
I so am are !

The days of having to stop a lesson to poo pick the school are gone. Sometimes, I see my lad's tail start to raise in that *special* way and I am still running for the scoop, in case someone see's that I didn't clear it away *before* it hit the ground !

With the boot on the other shoe - I have had a YM who would do anything she could to make our lives easier, and would do mid-day fly spray, every day, for all 34 horses, throughout the summer, for 0 pence ! She was awesome, friendly, professional, and very very knowledgeable.
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This sounds lovely!
 
I am going to go against the grain - many people are saying shrug it off and ignore it - I will say leave - it is clearly upsetting you - so just leave. People will always talk, they will always have concerns and opinions and I agree with the majority that it is not that big of a deal, infact - I would go so far as to say that if one has concerns about a welfare issue as a YO then they should voice them, and perhaps using someone as a sounding board before they go wading in is a responsible thing to do.

You state that they were lovely and you liked them until a month ago, so for nearly a year you did not dislike them, judge them as unprofessional etc.... but now they are not the kind of people you would chose to be around.

As for fences being broken - yes, horses will be horses - but when my horse decided to be a horse and trash fencing - I was mortified and as a responsible livery and horse owner I took steps to ensure this stopped, I did not excuse it as 'he is just being a horse'.

Finally, their yard, their rules - The YO runs a clipping service, she is also an instructor and does horse transport - and would rather that people use her service - if they don't have clippers/transport of their own. This is fine for me as she does a great job at both, she is great with the Beast and normally has him 2/3 clipped before I rock up at the yard! Transport with her is so convenient, and I would not dream of hiring anyone else without giving her first refusal at the job - even if I was not at their yard. Finally, while she is happy for other instructors to come and teach me if I need them - I must respect that she is a trainer and earns her living from it. I would never try and poach people away to have lessons with other instructors, Indeed - I have lessons with her too.

My point is that YO's can chose how they want their yard to run, she supplies our hay (which is excellent quality) and no one has ever questioned this or would do. There are yard rules and expectations at any yard - you just have to find a yard that suits you, and if you can't - the only place you will find where people do not talk and there are no rules is a field all of your very own.... there you will have complete control, you will answer to no one and you will have to do your own fence fixing.
 
QuietLife said:
This is normally my approach with other liveries but since they are the owners I feel like my hands are tied! I may give this a go... be brave!! Haha thank you.
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You'll come here and complain about them but you won't talk to them in a direct way about what your freely posting behind their backs.
In my view that lacks integrity just as much as the YOer gossiping .
 
Goldenstar said:
You'll come here and complain about them but you won't talk to them in a direct way about what your freely posting behind their backs.
In my view that lacks integrity just as much as the YOer gossiping .
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Which is what I was also saying. By coming on here and posting about it you are doing the exact same thing.
 
Queenbee said:
I am going to go against the grain - many people are saying shrug it off and ignore it - I will say leave - it is clearly upsetting you - so just leave. People will always talk, they will always have concerns and opinions and I agree with the majority that it is not that big of a deal, infact - I would go so far as to say that if one has concerns about a welfare issue as a YO then they should voice them, and perhaps using someone as a sounding board before they go wading in is a responsible thing to do.

You state that they were lovely and you liked them until a month ago, so for nearly a year you did not dislike them, judge them as unprofessional etc.... but now they are not the kind of people you would chose to be around.

As for fences being broken - yes, horses will be horses - but when my horse decided to be a horse and trash fencing - I was mortified and as a responsible livery and horse owner I took steps to ensure this stopped, I did not excuse it as 'he is just being a horse'.

Finally, their yard, their rules - The YO runs a clipping service, she is also an instructor and does horse transport - and would rather that people use her service - if they don't have clippers/transport of their own. This is fine for me as she does a great job at both, she is great with the Beast and normally has him 2/3 clipped before I rock up at the yard! Transport with her is so convenient, and I would not dream of hiring anyone else without giving her first refusal at the job - even if I was not at their yard. Finally, while she is happy for other instructors to come and teach me if I need them - I must respect that she is a trainer and earns her living from it. I would never try and poach people away to have lessons with other instructors, Indeed - I have lessons with her too.

My point is that YO's can chose how they want their yard to run, she supplies our hay (which is excellent quality) and no one has ever questioned this or would do. There are yard rules and expectations at any yard - you just have to find a yard that suits you, and if you can't - the only place you will find where people do not talk and there are no rules is a field all of your very own.... there you will have complete control, you will answer to no one and you will have to do your own fence fixing.
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You aren't going against the grain, I also said if it makes you that unhappy , leave.
 
Why does everyone assume I have done nothing in life... I've fixed fencing and offered solutions to stop the problem from hapening. Problem is, im not rockafella. I dont have money pouring out me to buy all the things i require right away. Like most people. I've been clear on pervious occasions while on the yard that I do not like yard politics.

I agree their yard their rules. Not really a*good*buisness strategy but it would seem everyone in the horse world is happy to put up with that.

As for what is becoming an attack from people who are criticising for being judgmental. I asked for advice on the situation not on how to fix my imperfections.

No one is perfect.
 
QuietLife said:
As for what is becoming an attack from people who are criticising for being judgmental. I asked for advice on the situation not on how to fix my imperfections.

No one is perfect.
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Sadly QL this forum has many many judgemental people who like to criticize even an innocent post and turn it sour or just cannot help themselves but to jump on a thread or a certain member who they do it too all the time. Luckily not too many of those certain members are on your thread so you should count yourself lucky on that score.



Really in your shoes I would book a time to meet the YO one to One and have a list of things you want to say, explaining that your not comfortable with her discussing other liveries issues. Not everyone does, I don't mind and my YO and myself to come too it need to get things off my chest and get another opinion without sending myself round the bend. We call it *IN THE VAULT* when we exchange personal things not to be passed on and I thank her for being there for me on certain things and she knows many things about me which I needed to talk too and visa visa. It all comes down to the individual and relationship with YO.


My YO has helped me no end with things I needed help with and I help her with other things where I can, like volunteering mucking out some of her part liveries. You clearly do not want this and need to explain it to them that you would rather she did not discuss theses matters with you.
 
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