yard politics

W

WoopsiiD

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9 November 2007
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I have reached a stage in my life where my attitude is 'you dont pay my mortgage or feed my kids blah so I can take you or leave you'
However there is a newbie on our yard aged around the same age as me 30's who acts like a big kid and I have just been informed by another livery that she doesnt like me as I am a snob blah blah.
I have done nothing to this 'woman' but be pleasant. TBH I do keep my self to myself but not out of any form of nastiness more to keep out of the Yard Politics and I dont have the time to stand around gossiping all day.
Anyway reasons fo me being a snob:
We drive a brand new saab-we dont own it, its a company car!
Daughter is in PC-I think that it helps her to learn better sportsmanship and care of pony.
Daughter goes to fee paying school-her grandparents pay!!
Me and hubby work damn hard for what we have some days he is on theroad at 5am and not home till 10pm! This 'woman' lives of benefits and actually brags about it!!!
I love the yard but not the silliness and daughter has friends there but now I think I want to move!
Sorry..rant over
 
Sounds like SHE is the one with a problem to me. If I were you I'd have a frank discussion with her, then leave it at that. You shouldn't be forced to move because of someone with a chip on her shoulder.
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charlie cus I am a wimp lol I go up, do what has to be done and go home to sort out OH and daughter. I know that groups form and in the few weeks that newbie has been there she seems to have built up a fan base. The whole structure of the yard has changed in the last few weeks. Its like being back in the playground and I'm too long in the tooth for that.
 
Give it a few weeks and she will be saying things about someone else ,especially if you dont bite.Jealousy comes in many guises ignore her and rise above it and dont feel you have to justify yourself.If she is on benefits then I would say she has the green eyed monster problem.How do people manage to keep a horse on benefits!!!!!!
 
QR- she sounds like she had a bad dose of the green eyed monster, she obviously needs to get a life. If you show her she's bothered you she will have won, moving is not the answer people like this are everywhere. Just be pleasant to her but keep out her way, she'll soon move on to someone else when she doesnt get a reaction. And tbh I dont think much of the person who told you this sounds a bit like stirring to me
 
Just had a similar discussion with someone else. I'm a bit like you I can take people or leave them but I'm thick skinned and just don't bother with people I don't like. I'm not rude just indifferent so if you feel you can do this just don't bother with the woman. Talk to your friends and do your own thing she'll soon get fed up if she thinks she's not getting to you.
 
I get the same with mainly the teenage brigade at my yard. Who for some reason seem to look down on me and were gossiping about me in the feed room the other day.

I haven't done anything. I come, I ride Molly or have a lesson, put her back and go home. *shrugs* I'm a novice and I ask questions and for people to show me things but I figure I won't learn otherwise.
 
They sound a nice bunch(sarcasm). I'm a novice too and ask loads of questions and I'm lucky enough to have a lovely bunch of people at the yard who help me and don't belittle me. However I can't stand people who blow their own trumpet continually but know next to nothing!
 
It's not nice when this happens but it's probably just a touch of jealousy. I wouldn't bother explaining yourself to her though, it'll just give her more to gossip about. It's easy for her to make friends at the yard, she's probably there all day because she doesn't have a job to get to !!! She'll soon find someone else to pick on and there's no point unsettling yourself, your horse and daughter by moving in the meantime.
 
Do you really care if some woman thinks you're a snob, goblin or any other petty insult they can come up with? In the great scheme of things she's nothing to you and it really shouldn't matter a jot what she wants to imagine you are. Keep your horse at the best yard you know of and if thats where you are then stay put. If she tries to get you down give her a wink and a smile, she ain't worth worrying about, let alone leaving the yard over.
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Totally agree with you. One woman interfered with my pony so much she ended up being booted off the yard as she was doing the YO's head in aswell. She was my first pony so she took it upon herself to 'help' me. When in fact all she did was p*** me off and made me feel like I was useless. I even came to the yard one day to find her sat on my pony!!!!!
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Good advice from everyone. Idiots like that can't stand it if you dont' rise to their game. p.s Katie_southwest your 'helper' sounds like a monster!
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Good advice from everyone. Idiots like that can't stand it if you dont' rise to their game. p.s Katie_southwest your 'helper' sounds like a monster!
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haha she was, and has moved yards 3 times since she went a few months ago...no doubt trying to 'help' others lol
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They sound a nice bunch(sarcasm). I'm a novice too and ask loads of questions and I'm lucky enough to have a lovely bunch of people at the yard who help me and don't belittle me. However I can't stand people who blow their own trumpet continually but know next to nothing!

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There are some lovely people at my yard who really help me out and show me things without seeming to begrudge the time. They even invite me out for hacks with them which I think is really nice.

I tend to put it down to their hormones
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but when I was there age I wouldn't dream of gossiping about people or giving them dirty looks.
 
Try talking to her to clear the air...at the end of the day, what you do/don't do, have/don't have is none of her beeswax....she could just be a very insecure person and find you intimidating, or just be an out and out b**ch. Don't let her make her problems, yours. Ducks backs and water....
 
Well at least you have some good friends there. People like that are worth their weight in gold. I found out who my friends where when I lost my confidence completely and nearly everyone helped me as much as they could and gave me tremendous support. I honestly couldn't have done it without them.
 
Until this woman says something to you, or does something that directly affect you, I would be inclined to ignore it. And if she does say something? You don't owe her or anybody else an explaination, but if you want to give her one just point out that you work very hard for the things you have and leave it at that.
 
You say the atmosphere and dynamics on the yard have changed. In my experrience this happens from time to time and then changes again. Get your head down (no, up actually), just get on with it and chances are that in a matter of weeks, things will be different again (she might have offended someone else by then)!

Also bear in mind what the Dalia Lama says 'What other people think of me, is none of my business'!!! Not everyone will like you, no more than you will like everyone else
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Chin up
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Good advice from everyone. Idiots like that can't stand it if you dont' rise to their game. p.s Katie_southwest your 'helper' sounds like a monster!
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haha she was, and has moved yards 3 times since she went a few months ago...no doubt trying to 'help' others lol
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OMG sounds like a woman a my yard
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Cheers Guys!! Head is up! Let her get on with it, I dont even know why I let her get to me and you are all right, I dont need to justify myself or my belongings to her. Everyone in my family worked damn hard for what we have and why should I let her ruin things!!!
You lot are fab!!
Lets just hope I remember this fighting talk tomorrow...though she ma not be there in the morning....its signing on day
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She is new, her 'clique' will see through her.
OR she will fall out wiht them orYO Why should you move.
If she is not working, then the yard may be her only sphere of influence, so let her get on with it. She may not stay long.
Just smile sweetly, the others know you anyway.

or
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This 'woman' lives of benefits and actually brags about it!!!

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Managing to keep a horse, whislt living on benefits!
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndB...aud/DG_10014876
 
Moi ;-)
Anyone can fall on hard times, or be unwell, but bragging about it! Just takes more resources away from genuine cases of hardship.
 
You don't have to tell her how hard you work/how much you pay etc as that won't have influence, as she is on benefits. I would just keep up with the hellos and don't bother to express your opinions about her situation. However, that's easier said than done! Also you are at a disadvantage because you have to go to work. Good luck but think of yourself first
 
our yard is awfull at the moment, ive ended someone sharing my pony as i wasnt happy and simply didnt like sharing him, because i wasnt happy and asked 1 or 2 other yard members what to do, before i ended it - im know being called bitchy, back stabbing, dishonest, you name it im being called it, all from the persons family i ended the share with...and im not being spoken to by them, i hate the yard, ive been told that people should be there for their horses nothing more... im really pi*sed off about the whole situation... so i will from now on keep my self to myself and if people dont want to talk to me thats fine... lets see what happens when they go on holiday and want someone to look after there horses, want there horse clipped.... i'll be busy im afraid, very x im sorry for a rant on someone elses post, If only i held the winning lottery ticket, id buy house with land and say sod all livery yards and just have my 2 at home, the i cant be blamed for anything!
 
if you don't like her - who cares what she thinks.

Just be extra nice to her - you snob
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Sounds like she is jelous, you should be flattered you obviously have something to be jelous of - so let it massage your ego a little and let her get on with her silly bitching its her who will get a bad rep - not you.
 
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