yes, i know I said you could borrow her.....but....

[Char0901]

I would be fuming!
Not feeding is just down right silly, the rest extremely rude!
I'd be furious with YO. This person is trusted with everyone's horse on your yard and they do something like this.
It might seem extreme but I'd be looking for another yard. And when leaving I'd tell them exactly why!
Trust broken big style. By the person who should be most trusted and responsible.

 

[smokey]

I would be fuming!
Not feeding is just down right silly, the rest extremely rude!
I'd be furious with YO. This person is trusted with everyone's horse on your yard and they do something like this.
It might seem extreme but I'd be looking for another yard. And when leaving I'd tell them exactly why!
Trust broken big style. By the person who should be most trusted and responsible.

i am looking at moving yards anyway, this just put the tin lid on it. With everything else that's going on in my life, i just don't need the extra stress!

 

[Char0901]

I think you did really well to keep it together...
In the mean time just try and take your tack home with you x

 

[Fides]

Well done for keeping it together,.. Just make sure the favour has ended now or you could find out she's still riding when you aren't there

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

I would be angry and hurt, and I would politely but strongly get that over to the borrower and the YO, and as you are already doing, search for a better yard. Hopefully your mare has come to no physical harm, and this won't happen again.

 

[Splatthekat]

I feel your pain! Last year I told a girl she could ride my mare out on hacks with the YO. Came back from a weekend away to discover she'd taken her out when YO was out and had been jumping her.... Problem was she was off work at that point with a hock wound, which she opened up again. So an extra 3 weeks off work in the height of the summer thanks to a student vet who should know better. I went mad at the time, and can feel myself getting mad on your behalf now!

 

[el_Snowflakes]

Totally unacceptable & surprisingly unprofessional behaviour from the YO. That would be the end of that arrangement, for me.

 

[smokey]

I am so relieved to see that everyone agrees, I am not being mean or hyper sensitive. Honestly, usually i would tell everyone of them what I thought of their behaviour, but right now is not a good time to be losing the place. I just don't need it. Hopefully find her a new place soon. Was already thinking seriously of leaving, the yard just isn't for us. This has confirmed that it would be the right thing to do.

 

[Spring Feather]

I am so relieved to see that everyone agrees, I am not being mean or hyper sensitive. Honestly, usually i would tell everyone of them what I thought of their behaviour, but right now is not a good time to be losing the place. I just don't need it. Hopefully find her a new place soon. Was already thinking seriously of leaving, the yard just isn't for us. This has confirmed that it would be the right thing to do.

No you're not. I would have handled it in exactly the same way as you have; and I would be looking for a new place to move to very soon.

 

[popeyesno1fan]

I'd go mad, I don't normally flip out, but I'd lose it if anyone did that to my horse. You gave permission for said persoon to hack your horse, not anyone else. I don't think I could stay quiet. You seem like a lovely person though, and I think you were taken advantage of.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Considering that you are clearly under alot of stress and pressure in other areas of your life I very much admire you for keeping your cool. Nothing really to add that hasn't already been said but sending a hug instead xx

 

[Cherrydan]

So sorry to hear you are stressed out, and I think you are doing the right thing by leaving. You will do well in the future by not being so sweet...you get eaten. Keep your cool and your chin up, hope things get better for you.x

 

[watchmaker]

All wrong. I'd be crying and I'm a hard-as-nails 45yr old bloke. I caretake my OH's old cob from time to time. His back end is weary now so we are super kind to him. No trotting on roads, hardly ever jump, that sort of thing. But now I think on it, hardly anyone but Yard Owner actually knows this - and I have a reputation for being a bit rash (which comes from where I choose to ride, not how I ride, but means other folk probably think the old cob is unwreckable).

I've left a yard under a cloud before now. Apparently my OH was not allowed to ask if her horse had been fed (?what?) It's a terrifying leap into the unknown. You have my absolute sympathy. I know that feeling of "if I say something I will blow my stack entirely so I will say nothing and suffer".

Be strong. Look for alternative accommodation. DON'T just look for recommendations. Go see yards for yourself. Several people told us our current YO is a monster who beats the horses. Jealous nonsense as it turns out. Either that or someone saw YO with a monster horse one day. YO is a complete softie. But we only found out by going a few times and just loitering. Difficult when time is precious I know but the peace of mind we have now....