YO

DaisyDoll

DaisyDoll

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25 January 2010
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Well, this is my first post and i was wondering if anyone could ofer me some advice about my yard?
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I've been at this yard for a few years, and loaned several ponies there. it used to be a riding school but now it's mainly livery. there is a lit out door woodchipping school, all year round turnout and electric gates, but the place is very run down and messy. i am the youngest client there, the next youngest is 17 and the rest are all adults so it can be really lonley and boring at times. the main problem is th YO, she is rude, bossy and unhelpful, and constantly trys to tell me what to do with my ponies. she controls everything about them, to what they eat to when they are turned out to when i come up and see them. i don't enjoy being told what to do like this, and when ever i try and object i am just laughed at and told that she knows best. i am sometimes even made to hack out with her when she doesnt have anyone else to go with, even if i don't want to. i know this may sound like a rant but i really need advice about how i should handle the problem, and if this is the best enviroment for me to bring on my young showjumper. i would really like to move but i am honestly scared of moving away, since she would probably spread rumours about me behind my back, and badmouth me to all her horsey friends. i really dont want this since i hope to get somewhere with my young showjumper and i dont want everyone turned against me. even though i am on full livery i am called lazy and selfish if i dont go up and see the ponies most days, and/or muck them out and be at the yard for most of the weeknd, even though we are paying for these services. i love going and seeing the ponies but i dont enjoy feeling as if im only there to stop her from shouting at me. for obvious reasons i wont tell you any of our names, but i could give you more information in a pm. sorry that this is so long, but it is my first post and i really needed to get all of this out in the open.. thanks a lot for reading hope you can help x
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Hello and welcome to the forum. You may find that you would get more response to this post in the New Lounge, but I'll start the ball rolling.

I think that your YO is behaving very badly. You are the customer here and she is not treating you a) in accordance with the contract and b) as a respected customer. You really have three choices:
- put up with it
- try to change things at her yard, perhaps by talking to her yourself or asking your parents to help you in that conversation
- move to another yard
It sounds like moving to another yard is the best move. You really should not worry about her talking to her friends about you - if you hear anything then you can simply tell them what has really been happening.

You don't have to tell her the real reasons why you want to move. You could, for example, say that you want to be on a yard with a particular friend, or for access to an indoor school or a particular instructor, or because you need to be in a different location. Or you could tell her nothing at all, simply hand in your notice and move. It is worth keeping everything polite.

Good luck with this difficult situation.
 
Hi DaisyDoll

Welcome to the forum! You will get more replies to this post if you post it up in the New Lounge
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If it were me , I would move - you are paying for livery and for your ponies so you should at least be able to enjoy it !

It isnt the same everywhere - you will find great yards with friendly people. I wouldnt worry about her badmouthing you either - quite frankly you wouldnt want to move to another yard that is close friends with your yard owner as they probably act in a similar way!

Move - you wont regret it !
 
Your YO sounds like an unprofessional control freak.

Move! You are a paying customer and shouldnt put up with that sort of behaviour. I know it may be hard to leave after a few years but she will not change and you probably wont get anywhere talking to her. Dont worry about what she says, you know he truth and anyon worth worrying about and your friends will know the truth too.

You should be enjoying your hobby,not parting with money to be bullied.

Good luck
 
Hi,
Recently I have found myself in pretty much the same situation. I have been at the yard for several years, and have moved my other horse there from a different yard - partly to make it easier, but also because I thought it was a better environment to be in. We are also currently on full livery (because at the time we didnt have a choice) and 2 of them will remain on full livery, or similar for the near future as my parents will be unable to do them themselves and I am moving away.
My YO is very set in her ways, and is very firm with her daughter who is the same age as me and has become a good friend, to the extent that we don't always agree with how she treats her. She started talking to me the same way she does to her daughter, and on several occasions really upset me, to the extent that I went home in tears. I've also been made to feel like I should muck out when I am there, but not that I should always be there - although I am there most of the time to ride anyway, and definately much more than a lot of the other liveries.
I am moving soon to start a new job in a different area and am taking my horse with me, so handed in my notice, after which things seemed to get a whole lot worse. I have been ignored, made to feel like I'm not welcome, that I am a traitor - all things I've witnessed when other liveries have left in particular to instructors yards (who had previously taught at ours). The last couple of days have been a bit better, but we the damage has been done, and we have decided to move the two others somewhere closer to home so my parents can visit more easily around work (both horses are not in work) and ideally live out.
My advice would be to stand tall. You may find that moving is the best option, and you can find another yard with a good atmosphere etc. I have certainly found that in the yard I am moving to. And just have courage. I know how hard it can be, but find someone you trust and can confide in, whether its someone at the yard or another friend that is in no way connected, it helps to talk to someone about how you are feeling and can make decisions easier to make.
Your YO definately sounds like they want to have more control than they should, and definately should not be treating paying clients in that way. I hope you find a solution. Well done for having the courage to ask for help.
 
Just to play devil's advocate ....

.... does anyone know a single teenager who doesn't think all adults are control freaks/too bossy/knowitalls?
The yard owner could well know best! The yard owner might be trying to help, albeit rudely, and the customer isn't taking it very well.

After all, I've met plenty of teenagers who think they know everything about horses and frankly they know squat. As for a 'young showjumper', well I'm not so sure any teenager should be working on something like that alone with no parent or tutor there at least weekly.

Don't want to sound nasty, but we are only hearing one side of this. If it's an accurate side, change yards and stand up for yourself.
 
MOVE YARDS IF YOUR NOT HAPPY. Stop thinking about what everyone will think/say about you and stand up for yourself. I did and it was the best thing i have ever done!
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PS Repost in New Lounge 2 and you will get more repsonse.

PPS, welcome to the forum!
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Where do you live - maybe able to help you with some livery yards which are nice with nice YO and other showjumpers. PM if you prefer!!
 
You don't say how old you are - but it sounds like YO thinks she is acting as "in loco parentis". She is unlikely to change and she may find having young people as clients difficult. She has legal responsibilities to you as a young person and may be unclear how far these responsibilities go.
But with only one other teenager on the yard it doesn't sound like the right yard for you.
 
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