YOs how would you deal with this complaint?

[one off]

Ok well have posted under this name before regarding a fellow livery constantly on my case. This week it reached a possibly dangerous point.
The track to the paddocks was icy and I was leading my horse slowly and trying to keep her on the grass edge whilst I dealt with walking on the icy puddles. Fellow livery got slowed down by me and shouted at me to hurray up, I didn't due to ice, my horse then started trotting so told her off and got her calmed down to a walk, fellow livery then shouted "all she needed was a wheelbarrow up her ass", it turned out she had rammed my horses back legs with her wheel barrow to speed her up.

Was absolutely gobsmacked (not good at confrontation as get tounge tied) and couldn't think of what to say bar seriously considering smacking her in the mouth, so pulled over at the nearest point and told her to go round. Will be making a formal complaint to the YO when he returns from holiday this week.

Luckily my girl didn't kick out, slip over, pull me over or get injured but am flipping fuming!!! As a YO or as a livery how would you deal with this?

 

[LittleBlackMule]

As a livery, if someone did that to one of mine they'd be trying to extract a wheelbarrow from where the sun don't shine a minute later.
The YO really needs to know what a piece of work this person is, and hopefully have the professionalism to deal with them.

 

[FlyingCircus]

I'd probably be annoyed you were slowing me down when you could just stop the horse for a second and let me pass...But in the same breath, I would never dream of doing that to a horse and it's bang out of order.

 

[Wagtail]

As a yard owner I would have a word with the offending livery and ask them their side of the story. I would reiterate what it says in the contract that liveries are not permitted to 'interfere' with other liveries horses. However, if they deny it, there would not be a lot I could do. TBH I don't think going to the YO is the best solution in this situation. It would be obvious who had reported it and would perhaps make your situation worse. What this livery is doing is bullying. The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. I would confront her and ask her what her problem is. It may be a good idea to start writing the incidences down, then confront her. Ask her why she feels it necessary to get on your case all the time. Ask her if she has something making her unhappy with her life because her behaviour is typical of unhappy people. This usually embarrasses a bully enough to make them stop. If that doesn't work, ask her if she is jealous of you, or feels threatened by you in some way. Again say you are asking these things because of her behaviour which is typical of someone feeling inadequate.

 

[AmyMay]

She'd be off the yard. Simples 😡

 

[gmw]

Yeah the wheelbarrow would be sideways! Assuming your an adult, how does she behave around juniors? A bully and needs sorting definitely report to YO but be prepared to suffer consequences.

As a livery, if someone did that to one of mine they'd be trying to extract a wheelbarrow from where the sun don't shine a minute later.
The YO really needs to know what a piece of work this person is, and hopefully have the professionalism to deal with them.

 

[one off]

The path is a single track until the halfway point which is where I pulled over out of the way, have started writing down incidents and its becoming rather alarming how frequent they are, today I had 2 liveries say she was asking them questions about me and my girls progress, its like having a stalker

 

[Wagtail]

The path is a single track until the halfway point which is where I pulled over out of the way, have started writing down incidents and its becoming rather alarming how frequent they are, today I had 2 liveries say she was asking them questions about me and my girls progress, its like having a stalker

She is obviously jealous of something. I hate bullies.

 

[thatsmygirl]

As a yard owner I would have a word with the offending livery and ask them their side of the story. I would reiterate what it says in the contract that liveries are not permitted to 'interfere' with other liveries horses. However, if they deny it, there would not be a lot I could do. TBH I don't think going to the YO is the best solution in this situation. It would be obvious who had reported it and would perhaps make your situation worse. What this livery is doing is bullying. The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. I would confront her and ask her what her problem is. It may be a good idea to start writing the incidences down, then confront her. Ask her why she feels it necessary to get on your case all the time. Ask her if she has something making her unhappy with her life because her behaviour is typical of unhappy people. This usually embarrasses a bully enough to make them stop. If that doesn't work, ask her if she is jealous of you, or feels threatened by you in some way. Again say you are asking these things because of her behaviour which is typical of someone feeling inadequate.

What a fab post, agree 100% with this

 

[ester]

what did you say to her at the time?

 

[Spit That Out]

As a livery, if someone did that to one of mine they'd be trying to extract a wheelbarrow from where the sun don't shine a minute later.
The YO really needs to know what a piece of work this person is, and hopefully have the professionalism to deal with them.

This^^

I can't believe the cheek of this person and they would have had the very sharp end of my tongue whist I wrapped the barrow around their head.
I'm normally a very tolerant person and let most things wash over me but if someone hit my horse or I witnessed ant other horse being hit with a barrow I would hit the roof.
Speak to your YO or YM immediately, explain what happened and tell them that you will not tolerate behaviour like that towards you or your horse.

 

[one off]

what did you say to her at the time?

I'm ashamed to say I didn't say much as was to shocked, just told her to go round whilst she kept saying it was fine as she had seem my girl running round the field that week. How that excuses it I really don't know.
I'm sure as gmw said I will suffer from reporting it to the YO but even without taking into consideration her frequent comments to and about me, I should expect to be able to care for my horse without fear of her being harmed by others

 

[Casey76]

Why didn't you walk on the grass and have your horse walk on the track? They are 4 wheel drive after all

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

As a livery, if someone did that to one of mine they'd be trying to extract a wheelbarrow from where the sun don't shine a minute later.
The YO really needs to know what a piece of work this person is, and hopefully have the professionalism to deal with them.

^^^This.

If I was the YO in this case then she'd be off the yard PDQ no messing.

I'd be inclined OP to thoroughly look over your horse's back legs just to be sure there's no cuts/bruising etc. THEN tell her that you're asking the vet to come and have a look at your horse just to be sure he's OK after she rammed the wheelbarrow into him, and naturally you will be billing HER for this visit...........

Your poor horse. This could have had such a different outcome as your horse could have stampeded and trampled you.

This MUST be reported to the YO. Did anyone else see the incident? If so, get a signed statement from them to say what happened.

 

[Caol Ila]

4-wheel drive don't mean $hit if you have no grip. A steel-shod horse on ice (is OP's horse shod?) will hopelessly slide.

 

[Feival]

Both of mine would boot her, then i'd leave her on the floor and tell her it served her right. Knob!

 

[Honey08]

4-wheel drive don't mean $hit if you have no grip. A steel-shod horse on ice (is OP's horse shod?) will hopelessly slide.

Exactly this. You'd be mad together the horse to walk on the ice. I usually walk on the rough stuff with the horses behind me.

If I was the yard owner I would want to know. I would have a word with the other livery and tell them I'd had a complaint about her bullying and banging a horse's legs with a barrow. I'd tell them that obviously I wasn't there, so won't get involved this time, but I would warn them that I will be keeping an eye out for bullying and if I ever see anyone deliberately bumping one of the horses they will be leaving the yard ASAP. I would tell them that I want the yard to be a nice place for horses and owners and will not tolerate silly behaviour.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Ok well have posted under this name before regarding a fellow livery constantly on my case. This week it reached a possibly dangerous point.
The track to the paddocks was icy and I was leading my horse slowly and trying to keep her on the grass edge whilst I dealt with walking on the icy puddles. Fellow livery got slowed down by me and shouted at me to hurray up, I didn't due to ice, my horse then started trotting so told her off and got her calmed down to a walk, fellow livery then shouted "all she needed was a wheelbarrow up her ass", it turned out she had rammed my horses back legs with her wheel barrow to speed her up.

Was absolutely gobsmacked (not good at confrontation as get tounge tied) and couldn't think of what to say bar seriously considering smacking her in the mouth, so pulled over at the nearest point and told her to go round. Will be making a formal complaint to the YO when he returns from holiday this week.

Luckily my girl didn't kick out, slip over, pull me over or get injured but am flipping fuming!!! As a YO or as a livery how would you deal with this?

That is Unacceptable behaviour for any horse owner, I would have a word with the yard owner, that person was lucky your horse did not slip and hurt herself and then get your vet bill.

As a YO would have words with this person see what she had to say , based on that and give her a warning. Behaviour like that again could lead to her vacating the yard.

I do not tolerate bullying on my yard we are adults and should behave like them

 

[Palindrome]

I think I would do like Wagtail says, tell her very clearly that she is not allowed to interfere with other people's horses. Some people don't have boundaries set (and they don't always mean bad), next time she does something unpleasant tell her very clearly what you do not want. For example in that case: "do not touch my horse", if she ignores that than I would go to the YO/YM.

 

[crabbymare]

if you have got a log of the things she has been doing I would be speaking to the owner or manager of the yard and asking them to explain to the other person that their behaviour is unacceptable and that if it continues she will be off the yard. its a shame there was nobody there to be a witness as that for me would have meant she would have had notice to leave

 

[Mahoganybay]

Can I ask you OP how old you are and how old is the other livery? Sorry if you have already said in another post!

My response to your situation would depend on this.

 

[minesadouble]

The difficulty for the YO in this situation is that it is your word against another livery's word. It seems that you did not see the incident yourself So it's a bit of an awkward situation for your YO.

 

[wench]

Awkward situation. If first time any things happened, I'd probably be talking to her directly,

If she's a constant bully, probably more talking to yo

 

[DipseyDeb]

As a yard owner I would have a word with the offending livery and ask them their side of the story. I would reiterate what it says in the contract that liveries are not permitted to 'interfere' with other liveries horses. However, if they deny it, there would not be a lot I could do. TBH I don't think going to the YO is the best solution in this situation. It would be obvious who had reported it and would perhaps make your situation worse. What this livery is doing is bullying. The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. I would confront her and ask her what her problem is. It may be a good idea to start writing the incidences down, then confront her. Ask her why she feels it necessary to get on your case all the time. Ask her if she has something making her unhappy with her life because her behaviour is typical of unhappy people. This usually embarrasses a bully enough to make them stop. If that doesn't work, ask her if she is jealous of you, or feels threatened by you in some way. Again say you are asking these things because of her behaviour which is typical of someone feeling inadequate.

This, I had to do this recently, slightly different situation as the lady (!) concerned can be over the top nice, then a cow the next day...slagging people off, blanking, throwing dirty looks and trying to turn others against her 'victim' etc.....I've not had a problem personally before but when she turned her attention on my young daughter (her modus operandi is the young or weak) I confronted her and I have to confess there followed a row (not my finest hour) but it was the best thing I could have done, because now the dynamics have completely changed. Bullies work on the assumption that their prey won't stand up for themselves......cowards!!!! Good luck!

 

[Pearlsasinger]

As a yard owner I would have a word with the offending livery and ask them their side of the story. I would reiterate what it says in the contract that liveries are not permitted to 'interfere' with other liveries horses. However, if they deny it, there would not be a lot I could do. TBH I don't think going to the YO is the best solution in this situation. It would be obvious who had reported it and would perhaps make your situation worse. What this livery is doing is bullying. The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. I would confront her and ask her what her problem is. It may be a good idea to start writing the incidences down, then confront her. Ask her why she feels it necessary to get on your case all the time. Ask her if she has something making her unhappy with her life because her behaviour is typical of unhappy people. This usually embarrasses a bully enough to make them stop. If that doesn't work, ask her if she is jealous of you, or feels threatened by you in some way. Again say you are asking these things because of her behaviour which is typical of someone feeling inadequate.

This reply surprised me.

I would expect YOs to prefer their customers to go through them in the case of difficulties with another livery. Tackling the other person oneself can often lead to an escalation, especially if it is done some time after the event.

In your position OP, I would have had extremely strong words but as it is, I think you need to tell your YO asap.

 

[Wagtail]

This reply surprised me.

I would expect YOs to prefer their customers to go through them in the case of difficulties with another livery. Tackling the other person oneself can often lead to an escalation, especially if it is done some time after the event.

In your position OP, I would have had extremely strong words but as it is, I think you need to tell your YO asap.

How does a YO know who is telling the truth? The other livery would no doubt deny she did it. If the YO has not had any trouble from said livery, how are they expected to take one word against another? What is to stop a livery with a grudge manufacturing a tale to tell on another livery to get them into trouble? That is why I suggested OP write down the instances so that it would have more credibility. YOers can't go kicking people off yards with no evidence. Not saying for one moment I disbelieve the OP. Just trying to see it from her YOers perspective who may have had nothing but politeness from the accused.

 

[flirtygerty]

Why didn't you walk on the grass and have your horse walk on the track? They are 4 wheel drive after all

You wouldn't say that seeing my old TB trying to avoid icy paths and he's BF and shouldn't struggle, he will plant rather than walk on something he considers dangerous and I know he's a woose and so does he, I tell him often enough, this livery would have had the rough edge of my tongue and thought twice about pulling such a stupid stunt again

 

[flirtygerty]

Exactly this. You'd be mad together the horse to walk on the ice. I usually walk on the rough stuff with the horses behind me.

If I was the yard owner I would want to know. I would have a word with the other livery and tell them I'd had a complaint about her bullying and banging a horse's legs with a barrow. I'd tell them that obviously I wasn't there, so won't get involved this time, but I would warn them that I will be keeping an eye out for bullying and if I ever see anyone deliberately bumping one of the horses they will be leaving the yard ASAP. I would tell them that I want the yard to be a nice place for horses and owners and will not tolerate silly behaviour.

This is how I would deal with it if I was YO

 

[risky business]

I'd probably be annoyed you were slowing me down when you could just stop the horse for a second and let me pass...But in the same breath, I would never dream of doing that to a horse and it's bang out of order.

Really? You'd seriously be annoyed at somone taking it easy with their horse on an icey surface...

 

[Pearlsasinger]

How does a YO know who is telling the truth? The other livery would no doubt deny she did it. If the YO has not had any trouble from said livery, how are they expected to take one word against another? What is to stop a livery with a grudge manufacturing a tale to tell on another livery to get them into trouble? That is why I suggested OP write down the instances so that it would have more credibility. YOers can't go kicking people off yards with no evidence. Not saying for one moment I disbelieve the OP. Just trying to see it from her YOers perspective who may have had nothing but politeness from the accused.

I appreciate that YO doesn't know who is telling the truth, although one can usually tell from the body-language and I agree that keeping a log is a good way forward. However, I certainly would not appreciate having two liveries rowing on my yard, so would always advise people to go through their YO, especially after 'the heat of the moment'.

This is what I would do;

If I was the yard owner I would want to know. I would have a word with the other livery and tell them I'd had a complaint about her bullying and banging a horse's legs with a barrow. I'd tell them that obviously I wasn't there, so won't get involved this time, but I would warn them that I will be keeping an eye out for bullying and if I ever see anyone deliberately bumping one of the horses they will be leaving the yard ASAP. I would tell them that I want the yard to be a nice place for horses and owners and will not tolerate silly behaviour.

However this kind of thing is one of the reasons I will never have liveries on my yard.