You know you are getting old "WHEN"

Skippys Mum said:
Here's another scary one (please please please dont let this just be me:o)

When you are out riding, a hearty laugh or a coughing fit or a sneeze involves frantic clenching and a worried look:eek:. Its not so easy to cross your legs with a saddle in the way;)
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Me too! I have to prepare for an hours hack like I do a long car journey and make sure I go before I set off :o

Skippys Mum said:
Oh god, cant believe I'm admitting to this in public - who else occasionally farts when doing rising trot:o:o:o
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And this one - blame it on the horse though

And I mutter to myself - almost constantly, forget things all the time - especially keys and have now resorted to doing a polo style dismount because sometimes my leg gets stuck on the back of the saddle :o:o:o
 
but who would like to be 16 again - NOT ME ! for all our aches, pains and memory loss, i love my slower pace of life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
My hip locks when I try to dismount. Bet I look like a right moron swinging my legs trying to get my hip to loosen up whilst still on Bruce!!

Find carrying water buckets difficult as my right shoulder pops out.

And if I'm having a bad back day....I let my dad heap up dirty bedding onto the muck heap!!

And I'm 21.....
 
Love this post, another oldie here, can sympathise with it all :D

I have to trim fetlocks etc over 2 days as get 'stuck' if I try to do them in one go :(
 
cavalo branco said:
I'm sure that my boy has grown in the night.... I used to be able to get off him with a spring in my knees, now I slither off hanging onto the saddle and nearly collapse on the ground :eek: :eek: practically have vertigo on the way down! Why have a 16.3hh when you are over 50? Well you can see into everyone's gardens as you hack out.....:p :p
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^^^^^ and while sliding off the side you grit your teeth in case your knee collapses underneath you as you land.....
but no i dont wee meself yet nor fart :eek::eek::eek: time for tena lady???;):D
 
Wow, Cheer's everyone, you have cheered up a very misserly foggy cold day, and I dont now feel as if i am too old to enjoy my obsession, the wonderful world of horse.
 
MochaDun said:
This ^^ I do that a lot :D I think this starts the minute you turn 40, it's fully legal/allowable. Combined with muttering under your breath at youngsters on the yard :D

Plus walking from stable to tack room or feed room but discovering the minute you get there you have forgotten what you were going there for...
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I do that all the time, i am "only" 35.

Good god i thought it was bad now but reading all the other posts ..............:eek:!!!

Skippysmum you owe me a Tena for your comments!!! :D
 
I aspire to be like this (in fact, I'm working on it already):


When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

and run my stick along the public railings

and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

and pick the flowers in other people's gardens

and learn to spit.



You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

and eat three pounds of sausages at a go

or only bread and pickles for a week

and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.



But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

and pay our rent and not swear in the street

and set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

[Jenny Joseph]
 
When I Am An Old Horsewoman

I shall wear turquoise and diamonds,

and a straw hat that doesn’t suit me.

And I shall spend my social security on

white wine and carrots.

And sit in the alleyway of my barn

and listen to my horses breathe.

I will sneak out in the middle of a summer night,

and ride the old bay mare across the moonstruck meadow.



If my old bones will allow and when people come to call,

I will smile and nod as I walk past the gardens to the barn.

And show instead of the flowers growing,

inside stalls fresh-lined with straw.

I will shovel and sweat and wear hay in my hair

as if it were a jewel.





And I will be an embarrassment to all

who will not yet have found the peace

in being free to have a horse as a best friend.

A friend who waits at midnight hour

With muzzle and nicker and patient eyes.





The kind of woman I will be

When I am old.

An old horsewoman.
 
.... You have to drag yourself out of bed in the mornings even on lovely sunny days instead of leaping out and riding before the sun comes up!! :eek: Also covering up whilst riding when you used to ride in shorts and a bikini top or wearing tight T shirts - now it is loose and comfy. :o
 
When you're lame for the first four strides every morning when you get up.

When falling off seems to do damage, and you don't "bounce" as much. You spend quite a lot of time in slings etc.

When you wouldn't pass a vetting.

When you start thinking of getting horses with less TB in them. And you think of doing less eventing and more showing/dressage. (Can't be bothered doing all the fitness work anymore!)

When you cringe at all the lessons you gave to over 40s clients when you were a 20-something and you told them off for getting on from a mounting block, and said "don't be silly, of course you're not stiff!"

PS. I remember the "oldest swinger" song when I was young - didn't think it was funny then, but the lyrics are hysterical now!
 
you are out of breath walking the course(indoor jumping) your daughter offers to warm up your horse for you (2 save your energy ) you can only do 'round the world' one way you are still out of breath from your 1st round during the rossete giving
 
Well at almost 30 I understand in part, age seems to be setting in.
I had such achy joints out riding this afternoon and my back is killing me now lol
My body is not what it used to be, very annoying indeed :rolleyes:
 
all of the above plus :

when you dismount (eventually) your knees give way as your feet hit the deck, you stumble and scupper about trying to stay upright whilst letting out involuntary groans :D
 
You are teaching a group of teenagers and remark, 'wake Bubbles up, he looks like the bionic man' only to find they have no idea what you are talking about!! What makes it worse is this was 20 years ago!!!!!

I do the weird groaning noise too, it's very bizarre!!
 
By the time you've brought your horse in, groomed it and tacked up you're too knackered to ride and need a wee sit down and a cup of coffee first (and of course the obligatory toilet visit!).

PS loved the poem Brighthair posted about the old horsewoman. Think I'll pin that up next to my saddle in the tack room :)
 
Now I feel really bad! I'm 21, no serious problems, and after filling 2 full haynets today and dragging them to the hosepipe I was panting as though I'd run a marathon!!

Okay okay I haven't been on the yard for about 6 weeks as been away at uni but Christ, am I really that unfit???!!!
K x
 
And my knees sound like a machine gun when I crouch down, I mean what is all that about?

Also I so agree on the muttering/talking to yourself :D. Isn't that truly strange :D
 
Honey08 said:
You have no idea how big ponies are in adverts, as they aren't in hands anymore!
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and jump heights!! why cant people say 2 fot 9 instead of how ever many centimeters and people call their riding instructors 'trainers' which does make me laugh especially when they are still learning rising trot!!
 
or when you have to do routine canter work uphill, you are more out of breath than the horse, plus it takes you a week to recover from the aches/pains.

Not too mention when you return to the yard from the said canter work, to find that renta-crane has not been hired to hoist you from the saddle.....cue the dismounting collapse on the floor.
 
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