You know your in bad form with Faith Hill There you'll be is on repeat!!

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fitzaud2

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Not in bad form over anything in particular, only just realised i was a bit grumpy, but have faith hill on repeat, so cant be a good sign. I do love that song though, but it always makes me cry!!
The wind and rain we have at the minute isnt helping, but 2m is looking promising, have so much to do that i wont have time to be in bad form. Need to get myself an MP3 player or ipod cos down the stables on my own is sooooo boring!!!

Sorry for the very pointless post, just having a bad evening!!!!!
 
oh no hun...i always know things are bad when i put in my Jewel cd....'pieces of you' on repeat...yep bad sign!

i'm taking Roaccutane at the minute for my skin, and one of the side-effects can be depression (even suicide has been reported:eek:) ive been totally fine for three months, but this week ive felt really down for no real reason so think maybe the meds are kicking in, but today i went to the yard, gave my boy a good groom (its his day of rest!) and a few treats, the rain has been off and on really badly and as i turned around the rain eased, the sun came out and there were 2 rainbows....one starting right in the yard in front on me and one a distance behind. It immediately made me smile...a great big ear to ear smile...but more importantly it significantly lifted my mood, made me thankful for the day, for my boy (who i have only had since feb- and is my childhood dream come true, and a treasure for which i am thankful every single day) and in general made me realise that i have a bit of control to really see the positive and lift myself out of any doom and gloom the meds make me putting me under.

That being said, there is something to playing your favourite sad song, singing it on top note and scaring all the horses! :D
 
Oh thank you for being you, and for replying, I'm better already. I hate being in bad form, and really should just count my blessings, as I have 3 lovely horses, 2 fantastic children(sometimes!!!!), and was blessed nearly 2 years ago, with renting my friends place, for very little, so now have lovely house, 8 acres and stables. I am only missing the oh, and i think that mighht be whats wrong. I'm 32, most of my friends are married, and I'm seriously sick of being the bridesmaid. Now, I'd never settle for second best, so am prob destined to be single forever, not overly fussy, just have to really like them to be bothered, would not settle with someone just for the sake of having an OH. All the good ones are gone.
Hope you get sorted with the meds, and am really glad you have your boy now!!!! Best of luck!!
 
hey fitz we are all allowed down moments/time - i suffer anxiety/panic attacks but now learnt to controll them ( i go to my "happy place" which is babymare and my daughter riding her) - at my lowest i made a point of finding something to smile at anything be it stupid- now i have a lovely guy and well i have my babymare. and i smile in mornings but if you feel low tell ppl , come on here and say "hey i feel poo" - its good to talk big hugs :) xxxxxxx
 
lol fitz didnt read your second post - big big hugs - took me a marriage which was good till fell apart 11yrs later ( though have my beautiful daughter) a realtionship that ended with me in womens refugee and the police brought in to find the guy I want to be with for rest of my life - soul mates. and being that bit older(im 47 btw) you are the person you will be (hope that makes sense ) you will find your guy but dont rush it just have fun finding him cause that special guy is there - trust me :) xxxx
 
babymare said:
hey fitz we are all allowed down moments/time - i suffer anxiety/panic attacks but now learnt to controll them ( i go to my "happy place" which is babymare and my daughter riding her) - at my lowest i made a point of finding something to smile at anything be it stupid- now i have a lovely guy and well i have my babymare. and i smile in mornings but if you feel low tell ppl , come on here and say "hey i feel poo" - its good to talk big hugs :) xxxxxxx
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Thank you Thank you, I appreciate your reply so much, talking so helps, and i am a talker, I'm just bored with everything at the mo, and totally need a change in direction. Would love to go back to college but think it would be unfair on my children, as I want to be around for them, with homework, and after school activites. And I dont know what I really want to study. would love to something with horses, but would prob be waste of time as noooooooo money in that industry here at the moment. Aghh, I'll be fine 2m
panic attacks i do know, i used to be so bad before a sj league (pathetically 80cm), i used to have panic atttacks sitting at my desk in the week running up to it. Once i was in the arena, not a bother, but oh my god, before hand, i was a nightmare to be around, my sister actually asked me at one point why bother if it gets you that worked up - she has nerves of steel - but i did love it, it was the build up that got me. I'd better shut up before everyone thinks i'm nuts!!!!!!!!!
 
Thank you babymare, I'm not in a rush, just a bit pissed off this evening, my god, you had it bad for a while, delighted you found your soulmate though!! every cloud and all that. i am mostly positive thankfully, just having a "fell sorry for myself" eveniing!!!!!!
 
fitz... i totally know where you are coming from...im 27 and single- no kids or anything and moved back in with my folks when my last relationship ended 18 months ago:eek:.... i had 4 weddings last summer and 3 this summer... and its pretty sad to be the only singleton on a table of couples but hey-ho it is what it is.
I spent a while after my break up (after being devestated for too long) dating loads of boys, but not really liking any of them, i even went out with one poor chap for 3 months before ending it because i knew everytime i went to meet him i would think- this time i'll really like him....

I am selfish and enjoy my own time and my life, i truly hope that one day i meet a man and fall totally in love and have babies , but until then im not going to worry- because if worst comes to worst and i live my life alone, i know i am happy with my own company, and my life.

Chin up love, tomorrow is a new day.... and you never know it might be the day mr right walks into your life! xx
 
Chin up love, tomorrow is a new day.... and you never know it might be the day mr right walks into your life! xx[/QUOTE]

Thank you, know the feeling, am so gonna keep that chin up, maybe mr right is just around the corner!!! i'll keep you posted!!!!!
 
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