Young horse dislikes OH...?!

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ginger_dressage_pony

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So in the process of backing my young horse, been doing everything on my own so far, as I rarely have help availble. So been long reining, lungeing, leaning over her in tack, all okay. So today, i asked my OH if he could come over when I was doing her, and help hold a stirrup down on the other side, so I can put my foot in the stirrup and lean over her a bit more. So he came down, and she was instantly suspicious, she knows him, he does night checks/rug changes on my other horses in the same field, for me sometimes. Today however she was terrified of him, I gave him a mint to give her, and she just about managed to take it, but when he went to pat her neck next to where I was already patting her, she went berserk and shot back across the school. I didn't let go of her lead rope, and she was fine with me going and reassuring her. He (OH) then left the school, and I let her chill out and calm down, then spent 15 minutes getting back to where we were before, me standing on a block and leaning over her, and once she had relaxed and was as happy as ever with that, I made a big fuss of her and finished for the day.
So how do I go about getting her to trust him, i am getting to the point where I need someone to hold a stirrup on the opposite side (saddle slips otherwise!) but unless she can learn to like him, he won't be much help, which is fustrating as he is my only help! Was thinking he might go a few times a day and see the horses, (they are on our farm, so easily done) with mints or something, but she is quite mouthy and foody, i don't want him getting mugged or kicked by them or her getting nippy. Thoughts...!? At a loss currently!
 
Has he spooked her previously? My OH spooked my pony unintentionally I might add and would run off every time he approached him, took lots of patience, stroking soothing words with the odd treat to get him back on side. They are funny creatures !
 
He shouldn't have, but when he went to do checks on them in the field a couple of nights ago, she was already freaked out when he got there, by some other horses messing about, he went do my other ones rug and she went mental, sending my other horse mental to the point where he couldn't do them at all. I got back an hour or so later, pitch black and walked accross the fief in the dark with a torch, no problems and did rugs etc with no problems. It's odd, she is a gelderlander which apparently are known for being suspicious of new people, and she totally adores me, let's me do anything but was not keen on him whatsoever!
 
I would never get on using the stirrup until the horse is properly backed and confident being mounted/ ridden , I always leg up initially to lean over, it is far safer and means if something does go wrong you are not stuck with just one foot in a stirrup, so he may be able to leg you up as he will not have to make contact with her, it will also mean he is on the same side as you which is safer for everyone if she moves unexpectedly as she will not swing into him and put him in a position that means he has to move quickly to get out of the way.
 
My Welsh d is very suspicious of men (think he's been bashed by one in the past) and usually the only men he sees are vets although there has been a male livery and his employees building new stables near H's so he sees them a lot as they often walk past his stable so think that's helped desensitise him a bit.

When my non horsey oh first went to see H he ran to the back of the stable and was doing dragon snorts. I caught him and bought him over and got oh to feed him some apple. He was very suspicious the next couple of times but oh is nice and quiet and just waited at the door rather than approached H in his stable. He now goes over to oh and lick him and he even let him stroke quite high up his neck yesterday and he's headshy I said that must be a good sign even he approves of you 😂 I think it helped that he didn't approach H and let him come over to him on his own terms. We also went for a walk down the lane in the summer and we walked behind oh so maybe that helped him think he'll keep him safe or something?

Does your horse have a stable if so maybe your oh could spend some time in there with you just chatting to your horse then brushing her etc?
 
Thanks guys, much appreciated!
I hadn't thought of the leg up idea, seems much safer, I will get her used to me hopping around alongside her and then if she can become happier towards him, he can leg me up. Thank you for that!
Yes, we are in the process of building a new yard, so stables are almost done, then it will be easier for him to make a fuss of her etc in her stable. My oh is horsey by osmosis! He wasn't horsey before he met me, but now grooms for me at competitions etc, and is quiet and good with them! I don't know much of her history, so she may have been beaten up by men in the past, although it seems like the more she likes me, the more she dislikes him!
 
Our new youngster was very nervous of my OH to start, so we got OH to feed him as often as possible and he is much more relaxed now. Feeding from a bucket is not so inclined to make them mouthy as feeding treats from the hand.
 
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