Your best "it shouldn't happen to a horse owner but did

Spottyappy said:
Husband was doing feet of friends stallion,when someone led an in season mare past. The stallion got rather excited,and before OH could put the hoof down,he was covered in semen!!! Literally happened that fast. Was hilarious,though not sure he saw it that way!
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Brilliant! My gelding was used as a stallion for a few years before I had him - similar thing happened when I first had him (but no semen...) - rather alarming!
 
:D

This didn't happen to me, but my mother.

She was out hacking on a nappy horse when someone she knew asked for a ride. they weren't horsey, so she said no, but in the end gave up and let him sit on the horse. Horse spun, bolted for home, poor man held on for dear life as horse ran out on to a road and jumped right over the top of a car (!!!) both of them made it home safely, horse was later sold for lots of money to a sj home!!
 
Last winter (temp was -17) and I slipped on ice, after filling up a water bucket. The water in the bucket flew into the air and came down on top of me. I was soaked to the skin. Luckily, the water buckets was my last job before going home. Cold does not describe it.
 
This happend to a friend of mine. One very hot summers day, she was out hacking in jods and a bikini top. She was cantering across a field, at the end of the field was a builders site. Halfway across the field the horse took off, she was struggling to regain control when her bikini top came undone. She managed to bring the horse back to walk, flashing her boobs, just in front of the workmen. She has never ridden in a bikini top since. :o
 
I was walking Ned on a grass verge, since the ford was iced over. He slipped and landed on the ice, which unfortunately was thick and didn't break. He reminded me of Bambi, while he scrambled to stay upright! Those crazy standardbred legs of his saved us both, I think!! He finally got himself properly upright and stood stock still for ages, I could almost hear his brain ticking, wondering what to do XD

I let him get himself out and after a while he walked on and got himself off the ice and back to safety!!

I was scared out of my wits when it happened, but now I look back, it makes me giggle :P
 
At the last yard it was quite a walk from the stables to the field he was in, so as per my Avatar I would ride my bike while leading him, he was always good as gold and we would go along at a fair pace with him trotting and me freewheeling alongside, one day the bin lorry was coming, so I pulled into the side, he was fine and the lorry passed, as I pushed my foot down hard on the pedal to set off, the wheels slipped on a muddy bit and I ended up underneath him on my back looking up at his belly :o, he just stood there until I got up and back on the bike, only time I had a problem in nearly 4 years of doing it, and it was my own fault not his, bit embarrassing.
 
The time I opened the gate and expected the three horses to follow me into the barn, just as they always did but oh no, on that day they smelt freedom and all three hightailed it up the lane!

I flagged down the Postman who happened to be driving up, threw all his letters and parcels into the back, jumped in and ordered him to "follow that horse!!" LOL :o

Riding and leading three, coming off the lane onto the moor, the left hand horse bucks, the right hand horse shies away, I feel like Stretch Armstrong and get dragged off by the left hand one! All three buggered off but again a very kind passing driver stopped and offered me a lift :o

But THE most embarrassing was when I was a little girl riding a 14.2 chestnut mare. We were hacking to a show, it was a glorious summer day and just as we were passing a pub (loads of people all having lunch sitting outside) my mare decides at that very moment to stop on the road, right outside and have a pee! OMG it was like Niagra Falls, it seemed to go on for ever and ever with plenty of grunting to go with it :o There was practically a river of wee running down the road! :o :o
 
Ravenwood said:
The time I opened the gate and expected the three horses to follow me into the barn, just as they always did but oh no, on that day they smelt freedom and all three hightailed it up the lane!

I flagged down the Postman who happened to be driving up, threw all his letters and parcels into the back, jumped in and ordered him to "follow that horse!!" LOL :o

Riding and leading three, coming off the lane onto the moor, the left hand horse bucks, the right hand horse shies away, I feel like Stretch Armstrong and get dragged off by the left hand one! All three buggered off but again a very kind passing driver stopped and offered me a lift :o

But THE most embarrassing was when I was a little girl riding a 14.2 chestnut mare. We were hacking to a show, it was a glorious summer day and just as we were passing a pub (loads of people all having lunch sitting outside) my mare decides at that very moment to stop on the road, right outside and have a pee! OMG it was like Niagra Falls, it seemed to go on for ever and ever with plenty of grunting to go with it :o There was practically a river of wee running down the road! :o :o
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LMAO plenty of grunting and river of pee :D
 
Durining a jumping lesson i managed to vacate the saddle as horse refused, ended up sat straight up (as if on a chair) the jump with the reins in my hand!!! To this day people think i did it on purpose and it was a 'trick':D
 
Spottyappy said:
Husband was doing feet of friends stallion,when someone led an in season mare past. The stallion got rather excited,and before OH could put the hoof down,he was covered in semen!!! Literally happened that fast. Was hilarious,though not sure he saw it that way!
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Just had to wipe tea from computer screen !!!

Hilarious !!!! :D
 
Decided to be lazy and hitch a ride up from bottom of hill where cob was living up to yard on his back, with my friend. She gets on first and then I go to get on behind her from the gate, all fine and dandy until she goes to move off.

Me 'err, I'm not quite on yet'
Friend 'oh that's fine just hang on to me and pull yourself up properly'
Me 'no, I'm really not on!' followed by falling off onto back, looking up and seeing friend also falling off, having been pulled off by me, and star shapedly falling on top of me!

Cob looked at us in disgust and calmly took himself off to yard at a sedate walk, us mincing along behind!

Out hacking a youngster when a car drove along narrow road at about a hundred miles an hour - angrily signalled at lady to slow down so she stopped...only then youngster decides to take offence and only move backwards...right into a massive ditch! Sat quietly up to head and neck in ditch hedgerow whilst he figured it out and got himself out. lady in car was almost purple with rage by this point as we then calmly continued on our way! He was a funny little horse.
 
Lunging our 17hh gelding when something spooked him, he pulled me over and dragged me round the school on the floor. The lunge line got caught round my hands and the faster he went the tighter it got. My life literally flashed before my eyes, thought I was a gonna. He eventually stopped and luckily I was only bruised and had a "carpet" burn on the front of my coat. I am now ultra ultra careful when lunging.
 
Taking shetland pony for a walk in the woods. He spooked, ran into me, knocked me flying... over his back and head first into a tree!

Same shetland again... was frog marching him out of the yard by his mane, when he decided to make a run for it. My legs overtook my body and I fell head first into the fence post - saw stars that time. Shetland ran off tossing his merry little head - the git!

Riding through a smart housing estate, someone close by slammed their garage door and made my pony jump. She took off straight across someones' lawn and smack into their only tree! A nice bendy fir tree. We sort of ran over it and it pinged back!!

Eventing at Munstead.... dressage phase. Trotting round the arena waiting for the bell. We were in the arena nearest the house when someone emerged from the front door. Rosie took fright. Bolted. As usual, I lost my left rein..... and was flapping around for it as we galloped towards the judges car. Managed to fish it back and do an emergency stop just at the bonnet.

I don't know who was more scared! Me, Rosie, the judge or the writer!!

The judge was very nice about it, and said to trot round and round the arena both ways and signal when I was ready to start.... if I wanted to!!!
 
Spiritedly said:
Years ago I was brushing my youngsters front legs when the hunt when past the bottom of her field, she got excited, kneed me in the face and knocked me flying. My other half took me to hospital as my nose was pouring blood and swollen, I spent most of my time at the hospital trying to convince them that it really was a horse that did it not my boyfriend! They even sent him out so I could talk to them in private. Even when we left (me with a broken nose) they gave me a domestic violence leaflet ! My poor boyfriend was horrified.
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Similar happened to me. 3 weeks before getting married I was leading my horse out, he got spooked, jumped right over the top of me and kicked me in the face. Cue hospital, stitches, 2 huge black eyes. I had to go and sign some forms a few days later at the registry office, I got a REALLY hard time from the registrar and her mates 'did I really want to marry this man ? etc'...they never believed me it was the horse...
 
As a proud 13yr old with 14hh pony we hacked 5 miles to our first show, intending to try lots of classes. Warmed up and did practice jumps no problem, went into clear round ring - first jump simple cross poles about 2ft high. Super approach, keen, ready -until last second when she dropped shoulder and ran out towards ringside fence - 3ft 6 of flapping tape - and jumped it clear! She didn't even stop after just turned and trotted happily back in the ring so I aimed again at first fence. By this time the judge was standing by the wing ready and had lowered the rails.Repeated the same trick. The crowd were in hysterics, four times she did it - I stayed on each time, but after finally jumping the first she went round to clear all the others. Then won the next two classes.
 
This one happened to my friend when we were younger, were having an afternoon of fun with the ponios, took them into the school tried our hand at a bit of horseball for the first time and finished off with a game of bareback chase me charlie. Friends horse was notorious for looking between his legs as he jumped as if to say "wow check me out, I just jumped THAT" and usually she was fine but as we had been having a giggle she lost her balance and slid off when he landed. We all had a laugh and, still laughing, the YM gave her a leg up. She legged her right up and over the other side! Poor girl was sat on the floor in fits of giggles while the rest of us near piddled ourselves! :D
 
P.s brilliant post, nearly wetting myself from laughing out loud, mum thinks i've gone daft in the head coz she can't see what i'm giggling about! :)
 
kerilli said:
have managed to smack myself hard in the face more than once trying to do up a too-short girth, when my fingers slipped on girth strap.
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bwaha I've done this so many times, bloody hurts tho!

lol@ the pubpee one! I would of dieeed.
horses always choose the worst or perhaps best in their mind to embarrass you!
 
Wasn't me it was my daughter :D


Last summer we were having a yard show in our field and daughter was bribing the horses that weren't going to be ridden into a spare paddock with a bucket of feed. She was doing a grand job and backing up away from the gate with the horses following. So much so that she backed straight into the huge bucket full of water, tripped and sat down in it :D :D
 
Out hunting, I noticed a man I recalled I had done something bad to years ago (couldn't remember what) and decided I had better avoid him. I did successfully avoid him all day until late afternoon we were galloping single file down a disused railway line. Suddenly the horse in front started bucking and going nuts. The rider looked round and glared at me; yes- it was the guy I was trying to avoid and my rein had somehow?!?! got wedged under his horse's tail, causing it to go crazy! I managed to pull the rein out and mutter something like 'I have no idea how that got there!'.
 
I fell off the other side of a 17hh hunter while trying to mount - threw myself up there and disappeared right over his back and onto the floor.

Current horse bashed me in the face and broke my nose when I was unloading him - he got very excited and tossed his head, which met my face :p
 
One icy morning I went to check the field water trough and was bemused to see there was what appeared to be some sort of grey broom head which had blown into the trough overnight. Too cold to put my hand in, I got a big stick to fish it out with and let out a big scream as the 'broom head' was rolled over to reveal it was actually a grey squirrel that had gone for a drink and fallen in. The poor thing was frozen solid in standard squirrel pose. After my initial horror I must admit I did have a little crafty giggle as it did look quite funny (like a squirrel popsicle).
 
These stories are hilarious! I have many, but one is when I was trying to secure a job at a racing yard for a trainer I have always admired. Now I'm not great at leg ups and the bloody man wanted to give me a leg up onto an excited 2yo who was about to go for a canter (and he knew it) so feeling nervous I didn't really jump and somehow landed on the horses bum, behind the saddle then quickly being bucked off backwards. Thankfully I still got the job!
 
Was jumping at Northallerton, the last jump jump 8 lead onto the back of jump 5 (a double). My 17 hander locked onto jump 5 whilst we were doing the 70cm class, I tried to pull him out/steer him and he eventually ducked out at the last minute leaving me to got off over the shoulder and land on my back followed by jodphurs full of rubber and grit, yummy!

Then on to the 80cm class, you would of thought I would have learned! NOPE, this time thought bugger this I am not falling off again, kicked him on over it much to the consternation of the crowd and hilarity of my friend and steward who had seen my first attempt!
LOLs

I also have been kneed in the head a few times putting his easy boots on as I tend to stand in front as it is easier! (If a little more painful!)
 
Just remembered, last year I was leaving yard on mty bike and I could here hooves going like the clappers and look up to see this little girl (about 10) trotting down the road on her welsh, I pull in and wait for her to pass then she just shouts 'excuse me, excuse me. I can't stop could you help me?' Manners cost nothing
 
Christmas_Fairy said:
Just remembered, last year I was leaving yard on mty bike and I could here hooves going like the clappers and look up to see this little girl (about 10) trotting down the road on her welsh, I pull in and wait for her to pass then she just shouts 'excuse me, excuse me. I can't stop could you help me?' Manners cost nothing
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Awwww - bless her little heart!
 
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