"5* home"

[Caol Ila]

I don't know if this has been a thing for a while, or I just spent many years of my life not trying to buy horses so not looking at ads, but there seems to be an epidemic of horse sellers writing things like, "5* home only," or horse buyers writing, "Looking for a new friend. 5* loving home awaits." It's just one of those things you put in an ad that takes up some text, but it's completely meaningless. Everyone thinks they're great, don't they? The best owner a horse could have. No one is going to write a wanted ad saying, "3* home. Mediocrity guaranteed. But haven't had the RSPCA called on us. This year." Or "2* home. Definitely going to drug it and sell it for more money."

Conversely, what do sellers mean when they say, "5* home only?" Are they looking for a Michelin star restaurant? A hotel? Trip Advisor reviews? It's not like there is a horse owner grading system. "Oh, that one's only got 3*. Can't sell the horse to her." And as above, everyone thinks they're great, so no potential buyer is going to do anything other than...ignore that. Because they are a 5* owner. Obviously.

 

[milliepops]

I guess saying in the ad that you want a 5* home gives the seller the position of being openly choosy about who they sell to.

I can imagine taking that line if I was selling one of mine. Its a bit like home more important than price.... only you're not saying the price is any less important ?

 

[Caol Ila]

Then why not just say that? Plenty of ads do. "5*" seems silly because there's no "3* or "1*" or whatever, unless we can train our horses to use the internet and set up websites. Ratemyowner.com.

 

[milliepops]

Its a shorthand I guess?
Tbh I'd be more concerned by the number of distinctly average horses described as "stunning" ?

I don't think there are any standards that can be applied to horse ads ?

 

[Archangel]

The phrase that drives me bonkers when describing a horse that is basically knackered/old/unrideable is "must go to forever home"

The seller doesn't want him and can't wait to get shot of him, but they want someone else to promise to keep the horse forever.

I've seen 10* home needed ads.

While we are at... 18 year old horses with potential. Technically they could have I suppose, but it is little late in the day really.

 

[Caol Ila]

They're all described as 'stunning.'

 

[McFluff]

Then why not just say that? Plenty of ads do. "5*" seems silly because there's no "3* or "1*" or whatever, unless we can train our horses to use the internet and set up websites. Ratemyowner.com.

Haha can you imagine a ratemyowner.com? I think mine would say “owner is ok, but I could do with less grooming and she needs to step away from the cakes!“

I get your point about 5*, but it’s like many things we do, doesn’t make sense really. Maybe people feel if they don’t do it, looks like they don’t care?

 

[Cloball]

I always imagine a horse with a nice telly and en suite in its stable... Or the sort of seller who couldn't comprehend the idea that their pony might be equally happy living out with some pals than wearing 3 layers of lycra.

 

[Caol Ila]

I always imagine a horse with a nice telly and en suite in its stable... Or the sort of seller who couldn't comprehend the idea that their pony might be equally happy living out with some pals than wearing 3 layers of lycra.

Indeed. Tempted to put up a wanted ad saying "Looking for a 4-12 year old horse who wants to hack out and do some easy schooling. 5* home awaits in Scotland. Stunning views into the Campsies and Loch Lomond. Easy access to country park, with castles and lochside dining. Satellite TV with over 100 channels. King sized bed. En suite includes hot tub and heated towel rail. Gym and pool facilities available. Comprehensive room service catering to your every need and a Michelin-trained chef making mouth-watering dishes from locally-sourced ingredients."

 

[18hhOlls&Me]

I thinks a bit silly, but could be an implication they are prepared to wait for knowledgeable people with the right yard etc and not in a rush to sale...it's become shorthand for 'we don't NEED to sell this horse right now' pretty much...

 

[18hhOlls&Me]

Viewings and vetting preferably more than one are best for both sides.....

 

[meleeka]

I think it’s daft. I’m sure most people consider they are 5* owners. As if anyone is going to think “Oh I can’t enquire about that one as I’m only 3*! What even is a 5* home? Is it a super posh yard that nothing is out of place and loads of facilities, but the horses only get an hour turnout? or is that only a 4*?

If I was selling I’d be looking for a really good match for my horse and stars wouldn’t come into it.

 

[Cherryblossom]

I think I might be a 3* owner! They’re fed and seem happy, but their beds aren’t full of straight lines and my neighbour always asks pointedly if I want to put some good oil on my mare before we hack.

 

[SO1]

Possibly by saying 5* home what they mean is that they are not willing to sell to a dealer or someone who is looking for a project to school up and sell on and that they are not in rush to sell.

I love my pony very dearly and have had him for 13 years but I would not say I offer a 5* home, I am not a very good rider and nor am I very rich so he does not have the top of the range tack and although he is on part livery, I would describe his care as good with his needs are fulfilled,, he has a clean bed, enough to eat and daily turnout so in terms of hotels like a 3* hotel but nothing fancy. Some of my friends horse are 5* home with expensive tack, regular physio and massages, regular vet check ups, better riders etc.

I would say I offer a loving home but not 5*.

 

[Redders]

Indeed. Tempted to put up a wanted ad saying "Looking for a 4-12 year old horse who wants to hack out and do some easy schooling. 5* home awaits in Scotland. Stunning views into the Campsies and Loch Lomond. Easy access to country park, with castles and lochside dining. Satellite TV with over 100 channels. King sized bed. En suite includes hot tub and heated towel rail. Gym and pool facilities available. Comprehensive room service catering to your every need and a Michelin-trained chef making mouth-watering dishes from locally-sourced ingredients."

You forgot the trouser press and tea making facilities!

 

[Caol Ila]

The trouser press! I guess that omision knocks me down a star.

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Indeed. Tempted to put up a wanted ad saying "Looking for a 4-12 year old horse who wants to hack out and do some easy schooling. 5* home awaits in Scotland. Stunning views into the Campsies and Loch Lomond. Easy access to country park, with castles and lochside dining. Satellite TV with over 100 channels. King sized bed. En suite includes hot tub and heated towel rail. Gym and pool facilities available. Comprehensive room service catering to your every need and a Michelin-trained chef making mouth-watering dishes from locally-sourced ingredients."

OMG - you have made me laugh so much this morning. You should be writing for drive time radio. My 1hr commute would be so much better with your observational humour. Your posts are just great and your choice of topic today is a cracker

 

[FireCracker238]

Indeed. Tempted to put up a wanted ad saying "Looking for a 4-12 year old horse who wants to hack out and do some easy schooling. 5* home awaits in Scotland. Stunning views into the Campsies and Loch Lomond. Easy access to country park, with castles and lochside dining. Satellite TV with over 100 channels. King sized bed. En suite includes hot tub and heated towel rail. Gym and pool facilities available. Comprehensive room service catering to your every need and a Michelin-trained chef making mouth-watering dishes from locally-sourced ingredients."

Even without the trouser press I'm tempted to source myself a pantomime horse costume and apply myself with an ad like that ?? I'm definitely not a stunner tho and the costume would probably do me a whole host of favors ??

 

[MissTyc]

5* is the eye of the beholder.
E.g. I don't like stabling my horses, use a track in winter and large herd turnout in summer ... My heaven but someone else's hell.
If I were selling my horses and someone showed me their shiny 5* yard with huge stables and horse walker, I'd rather turn mine out on the south downs to fend for themselves lol ...

 

[Spotherisk]

Mine are probably feeling decidedly 2* right now as they’re turned out on a small eaten down paddock with hay whilst over every fence there is lush spring grass!

 

[rabatsa]

Surely a 5* home is the one that comes up with the cash first.

 

[milliepops]

Possibly by saying 5* home what they mean is that they are not willing to sell to a dealer or someone who is looking for a project to school up and sell on and that they are not in rush to sell.

I'm unlikely to ever be responding to a horse ad at any point but i honestly would interpret it this way. I'd say I have offered my welsh a 5* home because she gets everything she needs and has a secure home, if I was selling her I'd want to find another person who is prepared to put in the extra mental effort she needs for her weirdness, in order to shine.

I don't think I'm a 5* home for my TB, he's a physical write off and I'm not prepared to put myself out in the same way to keep him for his whole natural life. He has a comfortable existence but has to fit in with what the welsh needs rather than have everything tailored to him.

 

[Equi]

It’s just something they say to seem like they care where the horse goes. A week later the new owner says the same thing when they post it for sale.

 

[Calluna]

I have always assumed it meant the seller was looking for an experienced owner And would not sell to a first timer or novice owner

 

[Britestar]

I always imagine a horse with a nice telly and en suite in its stable... Or the sort of seller who couldn't comprehend the idea that their pony might be equally happy living out with some pals than wearing 3 layers of lycra.

My horses have a TV, what's wrong with that? ??

 

[greenbean10]

I'd also think it means that the owner doesn't want the horse sold to a dealer.

If a dealer writes it on their ad I always think it's because they trying to make it look as though they care about the horse ? Although I am very cynical!

 

[scruffyponies]

I have always assumed it meant the seller was looking for an experienced owner And would not sell to a first timer or novice owner

This makes much more sense, but why not say that? As it is, experienced owners like Misstyc and I wouldn't bother enquiring, since our strategy of providing a large field with company and leaving them to it wouldn't sound very '5 star', and I'm not about to put myself through a grilling by someone whose idea of horse management is hot washes and horse-walkers and/or carrot sticks.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

It's become a meaningless phrase. I've bought a few horses and not once have I ever been asked a single question about the quality of home I can offer, whatever the ad says!. Which is sad really. I didn't use the term 5* in my ad because I find it grates now as it has lost whatever meaning it might once have had.

 

[The Jokers Girl]

It's something I've seen many times over the years and it's just a way of saying only the best home considered. Although it's pointless as no-one is going to look at it and go, oh that doesn't apply to me as I plan to spend £1000s on the purchase of the horse and then abuse it until its ruined and then sell as a project.

Although "5* home" in an adverts irks me less than home for life only. Why should the new owner commit to keeping the horse until its dying day when the seller of the horse, mainly older or companion ones is getting rid. Circs change and horses being as expensive to keep as they are have to be moved on

 

[Arzada]

'Perfect' is the one that gets to me. Found the 'perfect' horse but ... Looking for the perfect horse. Looking for the perfect house. Found the 'perfect' house but ... etc