A bit of a WWYD?

[Maesto's Girl]

OK so just after some ideas from people.

Currently share a field with 2 ladies (1 whom I rent from - she doesn't own it though - let's call her A) and another young lady - B. I moved on in November and had the conversation with A about us putting up a shelter. I said my dad and I would build it and we would go halves. She agreed. I said we wouldn't want paying the half until it was all finished.

Now, due to covid restrictions and supply issues and weather, it was not completely finished until last week. It's a lovely 12 x 10 shelter, with roof and gate. Movable and well built to withstand all weathers. Having looked around, similar shelters would be around £1400 in my area. We came in at £600.

So, message sent saying that it was all finished. It would be £300 each to which the reply was unexpectedly that they thought it was a lot? Now a quick search would show you how much one would cost but as she said that, I agreed I would offer to pay an extra £100 to bring her share down so a very reasonable £200. Since that, I have sent a couple of messages which have been read and ignored.

She also said that I should have said what I needed as they had loads of wood at the yard (their other stables) but none of this was mentioned within the messages sent where I specifically said dad was ordering the wood needed. I also have in writing she asked what she owed so she was fully aware she was paying for at least some of it.

I don't know what to do next. I don't want to fall out over this as it's a simple fix, but it's not me that's out of pocket it is my dad. I'd even be happy if she said she didn't have it right now and some kind of payment plan. I'm at a loss and it's massively stressing me out! Added to this I have been looking after her filly along with mine since the end of November. Feeding at lunchtime and poo picking the entire field daily so I kind of feel like I am being taken advantage of.

If fields locally were a plenty, I'd rent somewhere else and take the shelter with me but that's not an option! Feel as though I am stuck between a rock and a hard place

Any advice welcome

 

[SusieT]

So, I suspect if you push it she will kick you off (and try and keep the shelter..). Lesson learnt- get payment up front ! 300 is nothing for a shelter, I'd bite your arm off at that.
Have you seen her in person?
Can you split the field and keep your shelter in that bit? Can you ask the landowner can you rent directly from them? Why are you looking after her horse too? I would stop that - easy enough to say now spring has come you want to make most of the good weather so cant look after a second horse anymore - sorry.

 

[SusieT]

You could also send a message saying dad was asking when to expect payment and did she need an invoice for vat etc? then makes it more 'comapny' than 'favour' iykwim

 

[HeyMich]

Yep, get your dad to send her an official invoice, and include details of things pre-agreed.

Also, tell her to look after her own pony, or you'll be invoicing a daily fee for that too.

Good luck, she sounds like a total nightmare!

 

[Brownmare]

Send a proper invoice and say that as your Dad is out of pocket if she doesn't pay up you will have to sell it. Then if need be call her bluff and advertise it for £1400. I'll bet she suddenly decides she owns half of it then.....

 

[Rowreach]

If it's truly movable I'd say to her, not to worry I'll pay for it myself and it'll be mine to use for my horse/take with me when I eventually leave.

Actually, what did you plan to do long term about the shared ownership?

 

[Maesto's Girl]

If it's truly movable I'd say to her, not to worry I'll pay for it myself and it'll be mine to use for my horse/take with me when I eventually leave.

Actually, what did you plan to do long term about the shared ownership?

So the idea would be if I left, she could either buy it off of me at cost price (so the other £300), I'd take it and buy the rest, or I'd sell it and she'd get her money back

 

[Maesto's Girl]

Send a proper invoice and say that as your Dad is out of pocket if she doesn't pay up you will have to sell it. Then if need be call her bluff and advertise it for £1400. I'll bet she suddenly decides she owns half of it then.....

Yes most likely. Definitely think the invoice idea is good. She is fully aware that it is not me out of pocket it is my dad. Now I hate the idea of being in debt to people, let alone someone's parent! But that's just me.

 

[Maesto's Girl]

So, I suspect if you push it she will kick you off (and try and keep the shelter..). Lesson learnt- get payment up front ! 300 is nothing for a shelter, I'd bite your arm off at that.
Have you seen her in person?
Can you split the field and keep your shelter in that bit? Can you ask the landowner can you rent directly from them? Why are you looking after her horse too? I would stop that - easy enough to say now spring has come you want to make most of the good weather so cant look after a second horse anymore - sorry.

See this is the issue. She has a large family who she is currently home-schooling (coming to an end next week!) so can't ever get there. As the nice person I am, I looked after her girl as I was there looking after mine but now I am being ignored I feel less generous!

Sadly, there are another 2 in the field (owned by B - came post shelter construction) so sectioning wouldn't work and A wants to put another 2 small ponies out there too - but that's another story!

 

[Leandy]

If I read this right, you are paying rent to A? I would then kindly offer to deduct what she owes you from the rent you are paying her to make it easier for her. Agree that it will look better if your Dad gives her an invoice and the agreement to deduct from the rent is set out in it and stating the date you will start to pay rent again ie once you have recouped the £200.

 

[asmp]

Can‘t you pay a bit less for your rent every month until the £200 is paid off? Having just paid £1800 for a field shelter, I don’t blame you for being miffed. Not sure 6 ponies would fit in the shelter though ?

ETA Leandy beat me to it

 

[Maesto's Girl]

If I read this right, you are paying rent to A? I would then kindly offer to deduct what she owes you from the rent you are paying her to make it easier for her. Agree that it will look better if your Dad gives her an invoice and the agreement to deduct from the rent is set out in it and stating the date you will start to pay rent again ie once you have recouped the £200.

Thank you. I had thought this but then didn't know if that would look a bit like I'm being the bad guy and by not paying, perhaps she would then make me leave. But yes the invoice is sounding better and better

 

[Maesto's Girl]

Can‘t you pay a bit less for your rent every month until the £200 is paid off? Having just paid £1800 for a field shelter, I don’t blame you for being miffed. Not sure 6 ponies would fit in the shelter though ?

ETA Leandy beat me to it

Haha yes the 6 ponies....that's another story! There was only ever supposed to be 2. Then a little shetland foal arrived - fine. Takes no space at all. Then another one last week. Then a message to put 2 more on over summer.

 

[JulesRules]

Ask your Dad if you can pay him off in installments and retain 100% ownership.

Then start looking for another field and take it with you.

Sounds like it's only going to get worse I'm afraid.

 

[doodle]

6 ponies with 1 12x10 shelter is asking for trouble (I realise this was not the idea when you started it). I think I would be fencing off shelter while I found another field and take it with you.

 

[Rowreach]

So the idea would be if I left, she could either buy it off of me at cost price (so the other £300), I'd take it and buy the rest, or I'd sell it and she'd get her money back

I think you are setting yourself up for even more trouble down the line then. I can see her being awkward whatever.

Keep it as yours, put it in writing, and take it with you when you go.

 

[bouncing_ball]

6 ponies with 1 12x10 shelter is asking for trouble (I realise this was not the idea when you started it). I think I would be fencing off shelter while I found another field and take it with you.

Depends if there are any other local fields available!

 

[doodle]

Well yes of course! But I would not be comfortable having that many ponies in a small shelter. Op could have spent all that money and her horse not be allowed (by other ponies) in shelter.

 

[Shysmum]

Only option I see is to find another field and take shelter with you.

 

[Equi]

Agree with those saying keep it and take it with you. That’s a lot of faf about who owns what board of the shelter.

 

[LadyGascoyne]

Did she actually want a field shelter in the first place?

If it was your idea at the start, is it possible that she was in a different financial position a year (and a pandemic) ago? Maybe now that winter is over, and assuming they were fine without a shelter this year, she’s thinking it is more for you than for her and wouldn’t have been how she would choose to spend her money?

Not knowing the situation of course- a genuine question.

For me, my horse and I being happy and confident where we are is the most important thing.

I’d want a shelter for my horse, and I wouldn’t mind paying for it myself even if others used it. I’d probably text her back and ask her what kind of contribution she’d be happy to make.

I’d probably also ask her if she’d like to split the field and have her filly in with yours, on the shelter side, so they don’t get into a scrap. Again, more for me than for her - I’d want to prevent my horse getting injured if it was crowded in a shelter.

I’d also be happy looking after someone’s filly - assuming that is basic checks, hay and a pat for the young ones - or are they stabled and have you been mucking out? I would however ask the other person to do mine if I was away or unwell. Helping each other out in a tough time can be really useful. I appreciate it’s been a long pandemic and not a short period of time but it’s still an exceptional circumstance and I probably wouldn’t begrudge that.

But, I may just be too soft with this sort of thing!

 

[Lois Lame]

Ask your Dad if you can pay him off in installments and retain 100% ownership.

Then start looking for another field and take it with you.

Sounds like it's only going to get worse I'm afraid.

This is what I would do.

It's worth so much more than the small amount -A- would have to pay to own a half share. What if she decides to keep her half share when you leave? How would you take it with you?

-A- doesn't sound very trustworthy.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I think I would look for somewhere else and take the shelter she sounds like a bloody nightmare, especially with her expecting to look after her horse for nothing, I am all for helping people but not when they owe you money and obviously taking the P.

 

[southerncomfort]

Maybe as LG says she can no longer afford it and is avoiding you because she's really embarrassed about it.

 

[Amun]

I wonder what price did she expect if 200 is too much? If she was always a nice person, can it be that she is totally broke and is ashamed to admit this? I would probably ask her about this and if true, you can agree on a postponement or something like that. If she just expected the shelter to cost 50 and refuses to share the cost then if movable I would sell it or take it with me when you leave. But definitely wouldn't leave it to her even if I should tear it down...

 

[Goldenstar]

I can’t see what use a 10 by 12 field shelter is for six ponies .
Find another field and take the shelter with you .

 

[Dia]

This set up sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen, and you have been taken advantage of. Section off a bit of the field with one companion of your choosing, look for another place to keep your horse and chalk it up to experience.

Maybe ask your dad if you could set up a payment plan for the £200? You won’t get a penny from her.

 

[Fransurrey]

I would buy a gate for the shelter and use it for your own storage/stable, paying your dad off in instalments. As others have pointed out, a 12 x 10 shelter is useless for 6 ponies. My two shelters are this size and my cob (15 hh) and Exmoor (12.1 hh) just about squeeze in one side, but they are both very gentle natured. Even so, there is a cob shaped dent in the wall and the front, from when the odd scuffle has taken place.

 

[Maesto's Girl]

Did she actually want a field shelter in the first place?

If it was your idea at the start, is it possible that she was in a different financial position a year (and a pandemic) ago? Maybe now that winter is over, and assuming they were fine without a shelter this year, she’s thinking it is more for you than for her and wouldn’t have been how she would choose to spend her money?

Not knowing the situation of course- a genuine question.

For me, my horse and I being happy and confident where we are is the most important thing.

I’d want a shelter for my horse, and I wouldn’t mind paying for it myself even if others used it. I’d probably text her back and ask her what kind of contribution she’d be happy to make.

I’d probably also ask her if she’d like to split the field and have her filly in with yours, on the shelter side, so they don’t get into a scrap. Again, more for me than for her - I’d want to prevent my horse getting injured if it was crowded in a shelter.

I’d also be happy looking after someone’s filly - assuming that is basic checks, hay and a pat for the young ones - or are they stabled and have you been mucking out? I would however ask the other person to do mine if I was away or unwell. Helping each other out in a tough time can be really useful. I appreciate it’s been a long pandemic and not a short period of time but it’s still an exceptional circumstance and I probably wouldn’t begrudge that.

But, I may just be too soft with this sort of thing!

Ok so to answer - it was a joint decision for the both of us and was only started in November and has been up and usable since then, but the roof needed replacing as we were sold some dodgy panels from a very well know store. I didn't think it fair to make her pay when it wasn't ready. So has only really been 3.5 months so had use of it over the winter.

The fencing isn't really an option which is annoying as I have mentioned that to her before so we could keep some grass fenced off for winter and that was a no

I am TOTALLY happy sharing the work. So helping each other out - but 3.5 months of doing 100% care not only of the filly but also the field is a bit much which is why I am a tad miffed. I was in hospital for a few days in December last year and zero poo picking had been done and I am unsure they were even fed

 

[LadyGascoyne]

Ok so to answer - it was a joint decision for the both of us and was only started in November and has been up and usable since then, but the roof needed replacing as we were sold some dodgy panels from a very well know store. I didn't think it fair to make her pay when it wasn't ready. So has only really been 3.5 months so had use of it over the winter.

The fencing isn't really an option which is annoying as I have mentioned that to her before so we could keep some grass fenced off for winter and that was a no

I am TOTALLY happy sharing the work. So helping each other out - but 3.5 months of doing 100% care not only of the filly but also the field is a bit much which is why I am a tad miffed. I was in hospital for a few days in December last year and zero poo picking had been done and I am unsure they were even fed

Then I have to agree with the others, I think you might need to consider moving.