A bit of fun - How would you advertise your horse?

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LEXIS-MAGIC

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Mine would be:

17years old dutch warmblood mare, bay, suffers from sweet itch and a prominent box foot which makes her slightly uneven in trot, otherwise perfectly healthy. Jumps up to 1m10 BSJA (not with me), schools beautifully, hacks out in heavy traffic but spooks at a rock in the grass, jumps any scary fillers but wont ride past them. Box walks. Stresses to come in when she is out to the point of losing shoes unless it is warm and sunny. Doesnt like being clipped but loads easily. Oh and doesnt like standing still when ridden but puts up with me all the same
Value (to me) Priceless.... I love her to bits

6 year old piebald 15.2hh lanky cob, worries himself to death over nothing, rushes off when being ridden and acts cold backed (although he isnt) whenever he feels like it, serious trust issues but wants to be my friend, clean in the stable and very polite on the floor (That is a far as I have got with him as havent had him long)
I would accept offers over 5000 lol!!!

14 year old, one eyed shetland mare 10'2hh, chestnut with a flaxen mane, used to jump in 12,2 tracks at rc, hacks anywhere, rodeo rears, races off and jumps huge (sending my daughter up her neck), really just does her own thing, but my son loves her and she looks after him like gold dust doing gymkhana
I would never dare to part with her, my son would never forgive me!

5 year old coloured shetland 10hh, hacks anywhere, jumps 1ft9, gymkhanas, 4 year old daughter can load him and brush him, wont go off leadrein, likes being brushed, is idol, nips and likes coming in the house to play with the kids, has also been INSIDE playschool to give all the screaming kids a ride
On a Good Day offers over 1000
On a bad day 1 pound lol
 
4 year old shetland, not backed, hates children, loves adults and follows them around. Doesnt do bath time or clean and doesnt do catch very well.

9 year old highland mare very well bred however never stays sound could write a book on her conditions had most of them now. Also best game is to attack people as they walk past her children taste nice. Ridden a perfect pony, takes people for walks and if they cant keep up in-hand runs off.

2 year old highland filly perfect pony in-hand wins at shows, good for vet, farrier and dentist. Has offers to buy her at nearly every show. However she comes with the 9yr old as she has decided 9yr old is her mum now.

22 year old cob x arab rears, not novice ride, hates men and vets.
 
Fat grumpy cob. Blind in one eye and doesn't care enough to use the other properly so prone to spooky, standing on you and generally being a thug. Loves to run, especially if a scarey bird flies out of a bush! Hunts..when he can be bothered and will happily hold up the line for a pee. Jumps like a stag..if he feels like it otherwise he'll run through it cos there really isn't anything built to with stand a cob on a mission. Lives in or out...but likes in when he wants and out when he wants. Has sugar intolerance but will starve himself if only given hay. Not a novice ride except when doing dressage and you really need him to bounce. Will throw every single other rider who attempts to take him in a field (just to show his mum up!!). Bolts, spins and naps like a fool. Perfect in traffic, you can honestly have a lorry up his arse...but woman with a pram and all hell breaks loose!!

Gallops on beaches, and will do his utmost to make sure his rider is soaked to the bone. Will drop his head into water while being ridden, ensuring either dunked rider or at very least one hell of a scream

Enjoys his food...your food...horse next doors food..dogs food.

Free to good home. :D
 
Very pretty well bred welsh a, wont be ridden, longreined, driven but does lunge ok when she feels like it. Guarenteed to show you up in public as shes never been taught to walk she prances everywhere. Brain of a thoroughbred, always injuring herself. Need super strong, super high fencing as she has been known to jump a 4ft3 fence when left out last. Trained to kiss and bow, also lies down if you try to make her work.
12.1hh, so unable to go far in showing unless re-registered as a b, not suitable for children to handle. Doesnt like the dark.

I will pay you to take her!!! :D


14.1hh very pretty bay mare. Very untrusting due to a bad past, can be spooky and does a very good rear (she can hold it for ages!) Has bred 4 lovely foals, super broodmare but those 4 foals have taken their toll and she now has a "broodmare belly"
Not been ridden for over 5 years, but was previously broken to ride and drive. Doesnt load/stand for farrier/tie up/lunge but does longrein fabulously.
Would do well in local shows, previous teeth problems, athritus and very difficult to groom as she hates it.

Free to good home! :D


Ah i love my horses :rolleyes:
 
Ageing hermaphrodite with a limp. Idiotic and brainless when the hunt is around, otherwise very affable. If you need your horsehair sofa re-stuffing she's the one for you since she grows a winter coat like a giant shetland pony

Ageing gelding with a limp. Typical boy. Hard to catch when you want him, impossible to get rid of when you dont. Has an inability to stand still even for one nano-second. Bashes seven bells out of the stable door at breakfast time so is a very good alarm clock. Prefers to eat wooden fences to grass or hay so would be ideally suited to a home in the middle of a forest
 
Thomas. 17hh IDx. Thinks he's a 6 foot puppy,and likes to gallop RIGHT up to you when bringing in. Likes to drag his toungue over your back when mucking out. He gets bullied by 11hh ponies, and stands in a corner quivering.
When ridden is never spooky. His head is too far away from his feet, too slow to communicate 'spook' to his feet. however put a jump in front of him and we lose all breaks and steering. Great to load, jumps up and down ramp, whether your keeping up with him or not....
Fab in traffic. Just doesnt understand why anyone would want to stop at a junction!
But cant sell as he's not mine! :p

And for Holly if she were still with us:

14hh ( with shoes on, on a good day) coloured cob mare. Hormonal issues, has male tushes and a cresty neck. Barrel like belly. huge lami risk. Looks at food and puts 10kg on.
Wins at dressage and showing.....if you can catch her.......
Travels well unless you accidently leave jockey door open...(bad mummy!!!)
Is a s*** to keep clean!!!
Hates all men, vets, tall people. Loves children though! :)
Dream to ride until she decides shes tired. Then she naps to gate way and leaves arena of her own accord.
Hacks out perfectly. but doesnt like donkeys or gaurd geese.
Would never have sold her though. She was my once in a lifetime horse. Miss you beautiful.
 
17.2 DWB gelding. Working at and has competed at Grand Prix dressage with all the movements well established. Anyone's safe ride (from total beginner to advanced rider) although can be opinionated in the stable so is not a novices horse. Would make fantastic school master for trainer or confidence builder for any young dressage rider. Ridden on many dressage demos by Stephen Clarke, trained by Ferdi Eilberg and other top level trainers. Excellent to box, shoe clip and is good hacking in company but will not hack alone safely. A really rare sort that would make a great addition to any serious dressage yard.

15hh coloured (black tobiano) traditional cob. 6 Y.O. Beatifully and evenly marked. Abundance of feather, mane and tail but is also well put together with great conformation. Definitely a showing prospect for next year. Also make a best friend who is good to do anything with. Pops a pole but will never make a show jumper. Competes at dressage, working at elementary level but will go further with right education. Barefoot and sound. Good with farrier, clip,hacks alone or in company, loads trailer or lorry. Very reluctant sale of this future star.


11hh Bay roan section A. Forward going ride. Make fab. Cradle stakes pony. Very pretty. Placed at county shows this year including Cheshire and Royal Welsh.
Please note that a competent rider would be required for this talented pony as not a 'dope on a rope'. Would suit competetive child wanting to compete at M&M workers as has huge scopey jump - He has never stopped but is still slightly green so needs bringing on further.

PS non of these lads are for sale... wouldn't part with the first two and would be really careful who the little guy could go to as although really talented, he's not a 'kid's pony'
 
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lol i love doing this :P

Dancer. 15hh tb x mare. 17 years old. Definitely doesn't act like her age (we have had people asking us if she is 4years) Very pretty. Safe to hack and excellent to handle. loves cuddles and fuss. has had foals in the past and loves cross country jumping. BUT has many issues:
Has a brilliant jump but is very unpredictable and can end up on the floor more often than not. especially if they have scary fillers.
Has allergies and has to wear a fly rug and have numnahs and saddlecloths very often.
Would excell at dressage with some work as very nice paces but is afraid of white boards.

Rowan. Currently 14.3/ 15hh 3 year 6month gelding. Welshx appyx tb. near leopard spotted with large spots. Very very handsome. Has a heart shape spot on either side of bum. Certainly very eyecatching recieving 2 firsts at his first inhand show. Simply amazing paces. Comments on his walk being "beautiful". Would excell at dressage or showing. Very friendly cheeky lad who is my best friend and loves to give me cuddles and hugs. can be trusted with the youngest person as so laid back and calm. good to walk on roads and has been bombproofed.

Lola. currently 12hh exmoor mare. very well bred and branded exmoor. 2years.
 
15hh Connemara done a bit of everything easy to handle, load, clip, shoe etc. hacks alone and in company. Slightly neurotic, doesn't always eat his food, won't drink at shows but otherwise ok. Has been known to chase chickens.

16.1hh TB ex race horse. Won and placed hurdles and on the flat, broke his leg at Fontwell. Won't hack on his own, does jump but has no regard for where the jump is in relation to where he decides to take off. Difficult to keep sound, eats anything and everything and still looks skinny. Hate being left on his own, hates mud unless he can roll in it. Likes to be out unless he decides it's time to come in.

14.1 New Forest, sarcoid on his eye. Bucks, rears, and drops his shoulder at every given opportunity. Acts like a complete donkey otherwise. Stamps and scrapes if left tied up for more than 2 seconds. Hates doing school work and stomps around with his ears flat back but quite likes jumping when he feels like it.
 
blitznbobs said:
17.2 DWB gelding. Working at and has competed at Grand Prix dressage with all the movements well established. Anyone's safe ride (from total beginner to advanced rider) although can be opinionated in the stable so is not a novices horse. Would make fantastic school master for trainer or confidence builder for any young dressage rider. Ridden on many dressage demos by Stephen Clarke, trained by Ferdi Eilberg and other top level trainers. Excellent to box, shoe clip and is good hacking in company but will not hack alone safely. A really rare sort that would make a great addition to any serious dressage yard.
Click to expand...

You sure you dont want to give me this boy?? :p he is my dream!!!! so jealous!! lol
 
Apollo, 15.3hh 3yo TB x cob, at this rate will make 17hh.
Good doer, feet like dinner plates. Very broad, could park a bus between his front legs.
Beautiful paces, will make nice show or dressage horse.
Backed lightly this year, was very easy.
Excellent to handle 99% of the time, can be very strong for the other 1%, fidgets for the farrier, and hates clippers.
Loves everyone, other horses, children and adults, but will stamp on any dog stupid enough to come too close.
Clean in stable, but is guaranteed to cover himself in poo/mud/grass stains just because he knows how white he is.
Won and placed in his only show to date, perfectly behaved, put the adult horses to shame with his excellent manners.
First to see would most definately buy, but would need a small fortune to get me to part with him :)
 
16.1 7/8 TB retired dressage boy. 26 years old. Has narcolepsy. Has hysterics when any of his herd leave the field. Has hysterics and tries to eat them when they come back an hour later, as he's forgotten who they are.
Barges humans. Shattered when reproved. Has permanent itchy face so likes to pin passing humans against a wall and have a really good rub of said face. Moves beautifully when out hacking - about once in 6 weeks as he can't keep his shoes on and is accident prone. Doesn't do gates. Has huge vet bills

15.3 Irish cob mare. Well put together (for a barrel). Loving and affable. No brakes. Has the heart of a mouse, so easily frightened by hazards like dried cowpats in road. Her saddle stays in place courtesy of hunting breastplate, innovative balancing by rider, and good luck. When she shies at full gallop (the Russians send pheasants over to attack her), the saddle tries to take up residence in the next county. Beautiful mahogany bay. Beautiful straight, glossy mane and tail. Beautiful billy-goat beard which she will not allow to be trimmed. Oh - and COPD. Loves respectful adults - sorts brash young men out big-time. Jumps 4'6" with two strides in (to escape from turnout yard).
Won't eat for 2 days when the hunt has gone by

12.2 Dartmoor pony. 9 years old. Lovely markings, always enhanced by mud.
Laminitic. A 'mountainy' pony. Impossible to keep in stable along unless both door halves shut. Climbs under fences, over walls etc. as the grass is always greener on the other side. Sweet with children and bombproof in traffic.
Collaborates with the above two to liberate feed sacks from stables. Horse No. 1 (giraffe neck) reaches right in and drags sack to slip rails at front of feed stall. The Dartmoor goes down on her knees and pulls it through. The cob then carries it out onto the grass where they all tuck in (I've seen it).

All three are totally bonded to the extent that only the cob can be left alone, therefore only sold as The Terrible Trio.

No, wouldn't be parted from them for the world.
 
Rose Folly said:
16.1 7/8 TB retired dressage boy. 26 years old. Has narcolepsy. Has hysterics when any of his herd leave the field. Has hysterics and tries to eat them when they come back an hour later, as he's forgotten who they are.
Barges humans. Shattered when reproved. Has permanent itchy face so likes to pin passing humans against a wall and have a really good rub of said face. Moves beautifully when out hacking - about once in 6 weeks as he can't keep his shoes on and is accident prone. Doesn't do gates. Has huge vet bills

15.3 Irish cob mare. Well put together (for a barrel). Loving and affable. No brakes. Has the heart of a mouse, so easily frightened by hazards like dried cowpats in road. Her saddle stays in place courtesy of hunting breastplate, innovative balancing by rider, and good luck. When she shies at full gallop (the Russians send pheasants over to attack her), the saddle tries to take up residence in the next county. Beautiful mahogany bay. Beautiful straight, glossy mane and tail. Beautiful billy-goat beard which she will not allow to be trimmed. Oh - and COPD. Loves respectful adults - sorts brash young men out big-time. Jumps 4'6" with two strides in (to escape from turnout yard).
Won't eat for 2 days when the hunt has gone by

12.2 Dartmoor pony. 9 years old. Lovely markings, always enhanced by mud.
Laminitic. A 'mountainy' pony. Impossible to keep in stable along unless both door halves shut. Climbs under fences, over walls etc. as the grass is always greener on the other side. Sweet with children and bombproof in traffic.
Collaborates with the above two to liberate feed sacks from stables. Horse No. 1 (giraffe neck) reaches right in and drags sack to slip rails at front of feed stall. The Dartmoor goes down on her knees and pulls it through. The cob then carries it out onto the grass where they all tuck in (I've seen it).

All three are totally bonded to the extent that only the cob can be left alone, therefore only sold as The Terrible Trio.

No, wouldn't be parted from them for the world.
Click to expand...

Love the sound of the tb lol!
 
Captain- rearer, nappy when hacking out, drives out beautifully no nappy, past arctic etc. opinionated, difficult wossy WB. Windsucks, has to be sedated for the dentist, goes bonkers if left out in the cold, wind, rain or anything under 60degrees. Very food possessive with other horses. Grumpy old git. Amazing, extravagant paces and very quick learner. Excellent work ethic. Stubborn, difficult, very choosy about who he will talk to. Has a well developed sense of humour, this is not always a good thing! Example gallops full pelt at you, all 17-3hh of him then skids to a halt, with I swear a grin on his face, also nicks your hat, dumps it in his water and then brings it back to you. World's worse doer- he is like a supermodel blond, long legs and skinny, though he has a bit of a grass belly at present.

Price- there isn't enough money in the world.

Fany- gentle, kind, patient, sweet and most generous horse. Also extremely stubborn and has her own opinions. Bombproof hack, nosy and fun. Refuses to lunge, school. Will jump a couple of jumps then figures it is easier to go through! Will adopt any babies (human or horse) in need of love. A great favourite on the yard. Giant teddy bear. Will eat anything, not found anything she does not like yet.

Price - worth her weight in gold( and she is heavy:p )

FDC
 
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Flo 18 YR old bay warmblood mare .fantastic in every way,horse equivalent of a labrador.lives to eat ,very loving and talkative but crocked at the moment with a tear to tendon.nicest horse youll ever meet.

Fly 15hh tb x highland grey mare .neurotic,impatient,irritable mare hates wind,dark,fast cars ,waiting for anything.very pretty and real talent for dressage. horse equivalent of mavis from coronation street


Pearl 9hh minature chestnut filly.very confident and loves people .scared of nothing and loves jumping. big horse in little body .thinks shes top dog which sometimes gets her in trouble as she wont back down
 
12yo New Zealand thoroughbred, Burtie
15.2hh, ex-polo pony, thinks hacking is beneath him and is more likely to spook at a hedge than a 10 tonne lorry!
I think he's bay, but that could just be mud :eek:
Excellent to handle, providing you've got a packet of polos in your pocket :)
Favourite pass time - eating
To him riding is like marmite - sometimes he loves it, sometimes he hates it and has a "cheeky" little, buck or spin

On a good day - He's worth his weight (alot!) in gold
On a bad day - a 1 pence chew and he's yours!

God I love my pony :D
 
15.3hh, 11 years old, Irish Cob gelding. Bay with one white sock. Fantastic hunter having hunted with the Meynell for 5 seasons with lady rider. Teamchased. Jumps everything, keen, stands perfectly still on point and waits like a gentleman for his rider to re-mount after doing a gate or falling off.

Very sane and perfect to hack out alone or in company. LOVES water - he speeds up towards it! Always lets you know when he's going to buck with a squeal of excitement but this doesn't happen very often, only when he thinks the Field Master isn't going quickly enough.

Attended Pony Club camp and done all PC activities. Taught 2 boyfriends to ride. Very intelligent and willing to please his rider. Very friendly, no need for a headcollar and rope, just put your hand on his nose and he follows you into the stable. Prefers to load himself into the trailer so just put the rope over his neck. Perfect to shoe. Easy to worm.

Not overly keen on small ponies as their riders tend to use him as a means of stopping out hunting (crash their ponies into his bottom!). However, he doesn't kick, just a slight look of disgust! Very gentle with my 2 year old cousins, infact, a child rolled straight under his tummy in a stream when her pony lay down.



I wouldn't sell him for the world!
 
Mums - entertain your kids at the yard playing dot-to-dot. See how creative they can be and what pictures they can create!

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15hh Tobiano gelding. 9yrs old. Mane and tail like a bush. Unusual colour - there'll never be another one quite like him! Obsessed with carrots and food in general. Frightened of crisp packets, wheelie bins, banners, rocks at the side of the road, cows and sometimes nothing at all! Has been known to buck. Loves being clipped/shod and anything that makes him look pretty. Will load if not first on the lorry. Comes with enormous wardrobe of rugs.
Priceless (but only to me!)
 
For sale?

Price. (Make me an offer and I will either laugh, or load the horse for you before you change your mind.)
Photo.
Age, colour, height, breed. (Assorted)
Broodmare/stallion/yearling. (Take your pick)
Well broke/green broke/unbroken. (Take your pick)
Ties, loads, comes to call, blah, blah, blah.
Location etc...
For further details please email (so I don't waste hours yacking on the phone about your life history)

That's it. :)
 
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Tictac:- 16.1 10yo very shiny black dutch warmblood mare. Fidgets all the time and is an attention seeker. Is into everything and jumps out of where she doesn;t want to be! Needs a patient owner who will give her one to one care and put up with her opinionated ways. Currently in rehab after a back operation but when fit, hacks out fine in traffic, loads on her own, does pilates when being shod and doesn't mind the clippers. very intelligent!!

Sam:- 15.1 hairy grey ( brown, poo stained or green) TB x Con. Done all pc activities but has a dirty stop in him jumping if you are not committed going into a jump. Loves cross country, small children and polos. Goes into attack mode if he sees the clippers but is happy to be caught and loads on his own. Good to shoe. Is a grumpy old git at times but never bucks or rears with a rider on. He saves that for the field when he is out with his buddies.

Both horses have a home for life as nobody else would put up with them lol
 
Fudge- 14.3hh, 12 year old, flashy Buckskin, Welsh Cob gelding, slight limp. Light hack only, very sensible, easy to handle etc. Overgrown dog with interesting sense of humour who needs lifetime membership to weightwatchers. Becomes hysterical when parted from his OAP equine babysitter.

Merlin - good looking, 9 year old, 15.1hh, black, TB x Welsh D gelding. Perfect confidence giver, enjoys jumping, hacking and schooling.
Food orientated and unable to walk to and from the field without equine assistance. Can be mareish to tack up and rug despite being a gelding.

Lady - 13.2hh, chestnut, Welsh b x Arab. A high maintainance semi-retired equine babysitter, this OAP eats more food than both my other two put together.
Self-exercises (round the stable), doesn't like rain.
Not suitable for the faint-hearted rider as she likes to pretend she's in a rodeo or the grand national or both. Easily excited.
Perfect to handle.
 
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