A decision - Arthritis Mk 2 - PTS

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Blissy

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I had to have my horse Preston PTS Friday. It was very sad and difficult to make the decision, but he has deteriorating so quickly I didn't want to prolong things any more. The vet said that I didn't really have a choice. He was only 11.

I wrote before - because I said I was trying the Tildren after the cortisone hadn't worked. But neither did the Tildren in the end. I let him go while he still had his sparkle, the vet was also crying secretly by her car. We have almost become good friends since Preston had PSD in 2006 - its been 2 years of batteling away, but DJD took a vicious hold of him and there was no let up and a swift decline.

I know some lovely people suggested the operation - acid injection stuff, but the vet was dead against putting him through more, and to be honest I would have been dissapointed if she had suggested another treatment option.

I had that very tiny window last Novemeber before the DJD and after the PSD got better where we could have a bit of fun together and I could ride him, but after that it was awful to see him fading away.

Preston was a lovely chap, who never ever did anything wrong to deserve what happened, DJD took a hold of him and there was only one option for me to give him the best outcome. The vet said it was rare to have this disease in such a vicious form. Even now I cannot understand how he could have been sound at Christmas and gone now.

I really believe that someone somewhere (up there) wanted him back, and it didn't matter what I did. I laughed about it with the girls on the yard, since a couple of weeks ago while I was poo picking, I looked up and he (in flicking his tail and looking over at me) caught his tail in the gate wire, it stretched as he walked off and eventually pinged on his bum and he went off around the field with it flailing about and as he ran it wrapped around his legs - I thought to myself, it was death by ligament injury, then death by bone spavin and now death by spring! I know it sounds strange but jokingly I said ‘it's just like that film "final destination"’. Luckily I managed to calm him down and drop the wire to the floor like a pair of knickers and he was able to walk free! It was really scary at the time, but like a comedy later when I shared the tale with my yard friends, I thought it was yet another “escape”.

I am sorry, this doesn’t take away if course, from what has happened. I will always remember Preston as a beautiful looking and handsome chap with such good manners and an incredible sense of calmness about him. He was a fearless jumper; he always did what he was told to do even when I was foolish in my judgement. He was very good at licking me all over and the farrier’s bum when he was having his shoes done. Sadly by the time he was schooled and ready to go to shows, he was injured in the field (PSD). He gave his all. He was the “hard to find” sort and he will always be in my heart.

I stayed with him throughout the ordeal and spent the rest of the afternoon clearing my stuff off the yard. He was given an injection in the field - I feel so bad tricking him.

My body clock got me up today to go to the yard, funny thing - no horse to do... I feel like my arm has been chopped off.

Good night God bless Preston:
http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w89/redrumriding/SomerfordPk16Nov07/05SomerfordPark.jpg
 
Oh, Blissy that is so sad.
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. He sounds like a lovely, special horse and he was beautiful.

For what its worth, you did the right thing and he's pain free now. Hugs to you.

xxx
 
Sending huge hugs to you.As hard as it seems right now you did the best thing for your horse.He was lucky to have someone who put his wellbeing before their own heartbreak.Rest in peace Preston.xx
 
Oh Blissy you are so very very brave and Preston was very very lucky to be so well loved and cared for.

It is never easy saying goodbye and you were brave and selfless enough to do that for Preston, its the last act of love and kindness.

My thoughts are with you.

Lots of hugs

x
 
I am rarely moved to tears on this forum, but you have had that effect!!!!
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I feel sooo sorry for you now..... You have done the right thing by Preston and should give yourself a hug for that xx

I too have a horse with arthritis, only 10, but at the moment the tildren has kept it at bay..... moments like this though make me wonder for how long
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So sad for you right now.... chin up xxxxx
 
Preston was very lucky to have such a selfless mum - you've done him proud right up til the very last.

I'm very, very sorry

Deb xx
 
He wont suffer anymore and you have made the right decision if he was going to deteriorate and be in constant pain.Its to soon now but maybe you will find another to help heal the pain.Lovely pic handsome boy
 
I have been moved to tears a number of times in the last week with the terrible loss of forum horses. I can offer you no condolence, just time. I am sending you this poem, as I have done this week for Pokey in the hope that you can find some comfort from it ...


"I'll lend you for a little while, my Grandest Foal." God said,
"For you to love while he's alive, and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be one, or twenty years.
Or days or months, you see.
But will you 'till I take him back,
take care of him for me?
He'll bring you charms to gladden you,
and should his stay be brief,
You'll have those treasured memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught on earth
I want this foal to learn.
I've looked the whole world over
in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
with trust I've selected you.
Now, will you give him all your love,
nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come
to take him home again?
I know you'll give him tenderness,
and love will bloom each day,
And for the happiness you've known,
you will forever grateful stay.
But should I come and call for him
much sooner than you planned,
You'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and maybe understand."
 
Deepest sympathy. Losing a horse especially one so young that you have fought so hard for is so very very hard. I can only say that in time it does get less painful and you do remember the good times. For now grieve and remember that you did the best for him and that is probably one of the bravest decisions you will ever make.
 
Hi - its claire and cappelli from ST here....

I can hardly believe when i realsied who you were and my heart sank dramtically.

Im so so sorry but i do feel you were brave to to take hold of a very sad situation.

It only seemed like a few months ago that you were playing over some xc and having a great time and that is how i remember him

Hugs to you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
So sorry for your loss.

Please don't feel that you 'tricked' your horse. When I had to say goodbye to Catembi, I left him at the vet's. He'd been left there for the day twice before for unrelated matters, so he didn't realise that anything was amiss. I patted him goodbye cheerfully & left quickly because I didn't want him to suspect something was up.

I don't think I tricked him - I think I did everything in my power to make sure he wasn't anxious, & you've done the same for your boy.

You are very brave, & I feel sorry that you're having to go through this as I know exactly what it's like.

T xx
 
Blissy - so so sad for you and your special Preston. I'm so glad Llwyncwn posted the lovely poem. Got something else that I wanted to share that may help you too. It helped me. My much beloved Sullivan used to be a trekking centre horse and for many, many years he safely carried tourists around letting them experience the thrill of being on a horse. He also safely carried the American tourists while rounding up the cattle at the end of the day so they could feel closer to their own roots. He was the mainstay of the centre and dearly loved by all. The time came when he needed to slow down a bit and he came to me. I'm not the bravest and he gave me 4 wonderful years of safe riding and great fun. Then he started stumbling on hacks and - long story short - he was diagnosed with DJD and navicular syndrome. We tried everything but couldn't help him and one sad autumn day - before the winter set in - he was quietly pts with my arms still round his neck.

I struggled for a long time to understand why for such a kind and wonderful horse, who'd brought so much pleasure to so many people, his only reward was a too-early death. My riding friend said to me No Barb, his reward was that he came to YOU for his final years. Hold that to your heart Blissy. Preston found his way to YOU so that you would be with him at the end. When you're ready, log on to hoofbeats-in-heaven and light a candle and post a memorial for your special ned. xxx
 
Thank you to everyone who answered to my post, it was so lovely.
So sad Carrie1983 that you also lost mare on Friday too, we can console ourselves that they are together in the great white field of clouds by rainbow bridge! 15 is also far too young to lose a horse at... so sad. – My deepest sympathies and all my love to you and I hope that by today – like me – you will be feeling a lot better about it all... time is a great healer. I will never forget my boy, and you -your mare.

Thank you so much for the poem Llwyncwn, that was really lovely and so true... (and what you say Box of Frogs)... One of my good friends called me on Saturday morning – she has lost 3 horses, and we agreed that unfortunately some people are chosen to help them see out their days. I don’t regret a minute of it – I learnt so much from Preston in everything horsey. I kept thinking “something good has got to happen soon”, but it never did.

Claire – so nice to hear from you, I hardly go on to ST these days – I always had a miserable tale to tell – after all, I struggled with Preston 2 years with the PSD and then the DJD. I am sure people sighed "it's her again"... Yes, I have come to the end of the line, I feel bad for being in some way relieved that it’s all over. It’s a bitter pill to take.

My hubby and I spent the day sorting the garage so I can bring home my stuff from the yard... I found so much tack and bits in there! I could have a horsey car boot sale!

I also unearthed my bike which I haven’t ridden (or seen) for 5 years and hubby spend an hour or two fixing it up, so we took a moonlight ride around the village wooping and laughing all the way. I do feel so much better now – it will certainly keep the pounds off till/if I get another horse in the distant future.

Thanks once again to everyone.
 
I am so sorry for your loss, it sounds to have been a real battle for him that you weren't able to win, but you couldn't have done more. Often the treatment can be worse than the illness and I salute your decision to allow him to go with dignity in his own familiar surroundings.
Looking at the pic he has a glint in his eye, and must have been some character.
 
This poem makes me cry everytime, but it is a comfort.
x

If It Should Be

If it should be I grow frail and weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you should do what must be done
For this last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad - I - understand
Don’t let your grieve then stay your hand,
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.

We've had so many happy years
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes - please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
Only stay with me to till the end,
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you too will see,
It is a kindness you do for me
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve that it should be you
Who has decided this thing to do
We've been so close - we two-these years
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
 
big hugs to you, you are so brave to have honoured your horse in such a way, he will look down on you from the greatest height as a wonderful mother to him, and i am sure he knows you always did what was right xx
 
So sorry for your loss- i have 2 with DJD, one was diagnosed in 2005 and is *fingers crossed* mechanically unlevel but ok. The other has a darker cloud hanging over him but we are doing every thing we can. I dread the day we have to call it a day with either of them. ((((HUGS)))) for happier times ahead for you.
 
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