A little moan.

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navaho

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I probably shouldnt moan but i need to vent, but im getting seriously cheesed off at the mo, weve got 3 horses in at the mo & cant get them out at all due to the icy yard, which is not great, but i can deal with that, what i cant deal with is the fact one of the horses isnt mine, he belongs to my partners mum & im getting so fed up stuck doing him all the time & if i dont do him he doesnt get done. This morning really was the icing on the cake, the last 3 days ive been ill with a tummy bug, ive still got up to do them all, but last night i couldnt sleep & when i did finally get to sleep i over slept this morning, ok only by 30mins, but my first though was the horses, but i assumed at least she would have made a start on them as i wasnt out....no, she had to do umpteen other things first before even thinking about looking at them, i actually finished doing them all by the time she had come out. I dont expect her to do mine, but her boy is terrible for knocking his water over so he really needed at least his water doing if nothing else. She wont muck him out either & leaves me to do it, her idea of mucking out is to just dump more shavings on whatever is there. She asked me the other morning if anything needed doing & i said he needed mucking out...i got oh well, you muck him out & ill sweep up..aaarrrgggh!! Im out doing the horses 3 times a day, she only comes out & "helps" in the morning. Im so fed up, i hate the weather, i hate the horses being in & i still feel pants on top of it all.
 
That does seem a little unfair. My first thought was is it because of the snow/ice that she cannot get to the yard to do her horse but when the rest of your post it sounds as if you do her horse for her all of the time and that she lives close by/with you.

I think the best thing to do would be to talk about it with her and see if she could share looking after the horses a bit more with you. Maybe you could compromise and one of you do them in the morning and the other in the evening?
 
I think I'd leave the horse, do your own and text partners mum saying that you are unwell and will only managed to do your own horses. She'll have to do her own horse then.
The other option might be to put some old bedding down to make a track to turn them out and just chuck hay and feed into the field.
Sometimes in life though we have to learn to say 'no' and I think that this could be one of those times!
 
flamehead said:
......are you me?!?!?

I understand, totally. Have a hug. xxxx
Click to expand...

OMG - I thought that too!! I really feel for you! I am looking after my sister's horse, essentially for my mum, but nobody gives me any help and she is a monster, I just want them to live my day, just once. It's ok but in this weather, no running water, three of everything to do - it's a 50% increase in workload... I really empathise!!

I think you need to suggest they sell the horse!? Start throwing your weight around!!
 
Its hard though. I look after my OHs mum's horse, that she bought basically because she wanted a pony. The horse then reared up and over on her (which I'm not denying was horrific), got diagnosed with KS, and I've literally not seen her for dust since - not that she did much before that.

She works away during the week, but is home at the weekends (and the horses live on her doorstep). She HARDLY EVER mucks out, and when she does it always actually creates more work for us - like not having done their waters or not having swept out properly or whatever. For example, the other day we went to a wedding and she had the horses for the weekend. We left them turned out because she doesn't really cope with them being in - and she's 'terrified' of my youngster (who is the best behaved horse we have, but never mind....). Anyway, half 11 one night she thought they were getting cold so brought them in - on her own - yes, even my youngster who shes terrified of!!!!. Which is fine, her choice. However, got there the next day and my youngster hadn't had any breakfast???? So was just chewing on the wall of her box quite happily! Ok, so she'd had dinner, but ARGH! And her horse had no water - again, only since the morning, but ARGGGH!

But if I ever moan to my OH, he stands up for his mum, says I'm being unfair and ungrateful (as she owns the yard), and then I get in to trouble. And I'm not willing to just leave her horse to it, as I actually care about the pony.

AND she's 'too nervous' to do anything with her horse on her own, so when shes around and wants to ride I have to give up my time to help her exercise her own pony - losing my time with my youngster.

Grrrr rant over! Anyway, I understand!
 
In this case though the owner is perfectly capable of looking after her horse; honestly I've been there in the past and sometimes the more you do for some people the more you're expected to do! You shouldn't be guilt tripped into looking after the horse in case it gets neglected - that is the owners responsibility, not yours, and sometimes people respect you all the more for standing up for yourself and not being a doormat.
 
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