A Note to eventing lot about to invade BS

Didn't know you could still buy the noisy clickers overreach boots ....I had those over 20 years ago!!

We do drag a variety of dogs around us at events though so will make doubly sure they come to BS as well. To date, 3 staffords ( mine ). 1 nutty Dalmatian puppy, older lab and hyper JRT...all very capable of walking a course without breaking a sweat!
 
MrsMozart said:
So, if I've got this right, D1 will need....

A couple of dead sheep? Oh what the heck, lets go for half the flock and be done with (seat saver, under seat, under saddle cloth, girth cover, tendons boots, noseband, rein covers).

Bling: Lots and lots of bling - Rider: round the hat (must it be one of the Gatehouse hats, or have I got that mixed up?!); gloves; nose; and ears. Horse: across the horses nose/brow/along the reins. Can we get any on the saddle? There might be some bits showing in amongst the dead sheep :cool:

Hair (rider's): It's long and purple... Hm. Hair extensions. Definitely no hair net - it must be all nice and ready to whap her in the face when she looks round quickly.

Tack: saddle - as hard as a plank of wood; over-reach boots; tendon boots; complicated bit; fandangled noseband.

Fag: hm. She doesn't smoke. Will the Nicorette type thing do the trick?

Attitude: tick.

Horse: Whappy - tick.

Breeches: tight - tick; white - tick. Will have to find red g-string...

Grooms: half a dozen - tick (must remember to have jackets embroidered).

Lorry: sign-written. Hm. Will a trailer with peeling paint do for now?

Exercise sheet? Have a Thermatex in her colours, but is that okay? Do we need to bling it up?



Am just wondering if, to pay for all of the above, we can start a Pimp My BS business...
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Have you got an animo showjacket? Without this and matching(embrioded,obviously) fly veil and saddlecloth you should'nt even bother...
 
This thread is so fun. :D

Just wondering what trends will be the next.

Has anyone got their name/horses name picked out in bling on the back of the cantle yet?
 
The Sjing trend is international! How scary! Though most eventers here compete in black jackets... :o

Is it mandatory there on ponies (only so far thank God) the clipping of hearts, stars, other shapes normally associated with quater-marks into the coat?
 
This thread is hilarious!
Having just rejoined BS for the first time since 2006 you all have me rather terrified!

Although my first BS is Saturday at my yard so shouldn't be too terrifying, it's the collecting ring that worries me! :eek:
 
From a spectators perspective, you seem to have forgotten the need for females to be wearing enough make up to give the make up counter girls a run for there money.
 
jesstickle said:
Plaiting is actually coming back in BS. BUT you have to leave the forelock unplaited.

Do NOT use a hairnet. your flowing blonde hair should stream over your shoulders in a nifty ponytail

(I don't jump but have a friend who takes it quite seriously. I endlessly plead with her to plait forelocks and use a hairnet :p )
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Ah the showjumping ponytail :lol:
 
In shock no-one has mentioned the patent leather boots with bling? Normally in a size 2 small that cuts off circulation, but because you paid an arm and a leg for them you will wear them even if your feet feel like dropping off....
 
When I go BS people look at me like I'm an alien, yes I have invested in a 'showjumping' jacket, I'm a size 8 with blonde hair but I wear my body protector, yes you hear correctly, my body protector... every time my young horse has had me off he has galloped over the top of me, but still to a group of people who often don't wear hats a bp is unheard of! :)

Also I always get compliments on how natural my 6yo is over a fence, then I'm asked where in Europe did I find my 6yo or what type of warmblood is he I have to pick them up off the floor when I say he's Welsh DxTB with a Walsh passport despite being 17hh this is all true... :p
 
Brilliant post..........although I have to say i take tight white breeches and a fitted red jacket over tweed, canary yellow breeches and a skull cap with the silk sticking up at a jaunty 90 degree angle any day!!
 
LOVE this!! :D

Showjumper through and through with my jacket that has about 1 million swarofski crystals on :rolleyes:

Oh and horses HAVE to have the long straight manes, none of this pulled short cr*p for plaiting :p

The elastic breastplates round the front on the horse, that do nothing, but look good!

Mocking my own kind, how bad of me :D

Another vote for never talk to the judges...my experience:

Me: Sorry, I've forgotton my show jacket today, is it ok if I wear this coat?
Judge: Hmm.
Me: :confused: (feeling like I needed to explain myself) erm, I left it on my lorry and I have come with my friend today?
Judge: Well, just don't do it again then!!
Me: :eek: Yes mam.... :(
Left the judges box like I'd just had a telling from my mam :D

Also, do NOT shout "UPRIGHT!" or "SPREAD!" when coming in to the practice fence, it just makes us giggle. If someone is in the way just circle and come again.

Oh, and because of previous rule....it is an OXER not a SPREAD! :D

Good luck eventers! :p
 
Gamebird said:
Show-jumping in Yorkshire (the home of show-jumping) probably requires a whole new thread, but even up here it's customary to at least try to remember to drop the fag before you go in the ring.

It is generally compulsory to bring a wagon-load (6 in each class when there's only 12 entries in total), be male, 5'2, have a jacket that might have fitted your size 20 mother, have a fag glued to your lower lip, have won the Cock o' The North in 1974 and speak (if at all) in monosyllables, none of which would be allowed on the BBC before 9pm.

If (heaven forbid) you happen to be an eventer and between you and your fellow eventer you've managed to come 1st and 2nd in two consecutive classes it's generally considered to be the done thing to pack up and go home and let the 'proper' jumpers have a go at the next few classes ;)
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You forgot that baler twine is acceptable to use in every possible scenario, and if you are going to jump in a german hackamore/snaffle combo, it is acceptable to use a black spur strap to affix the two together, but it is actively encouraged to use baler twine.

Last time I went BS was when it was BSJA and I actually got laughed at, accepted I was on my coloured and the only thing I had swapped from out hunting get up was the hat and the saddle pad.
 
PaddyMonty said:
Just though I'd explain a few things before war erupts at comps all over the country.
1) We dont DO the silly left to left rule. Our horses can turn on a sixpence and do not require 10 strides advance warning for a change of direction. We dont care which side you pass or how close as long as you don't crash.

2) Looking up where you're going instead of down checking your horses neck line helps with point 1

3) The practice fences do not have silly tape indicating the max warmup height for the class. The rule book does but we ignore that anyway.
When a fence is wacked up to 1.20m for a BN do not try to rationalise it in terms of need. It is all about oneupmanship. Just get over it (literally).

4) Trot is not required at anytime during warmup or competition, it just wastes time.

5) We do not walk on an inside track and canter on the outside track. If everyone did this it would be a tad tricky turning in to the practice fences.

6) Warm up on just one rein IS acceptable.

7) people putting up the practice fences are there to be abused (if you're brave enough). Shouting is acceptable and often encouraged.

8) Going for a steady double clear is not really entering in to the spirit of it. If you do manage to get through to the jumpoff, pretend you are now going XC.

9) 4 faults is NOT a good round!

10) use of drawreins in warmup IS normal and within rules.

Hope the above is helpful :p
Welcome to our world :D Nice place to visit but dont stay too long ;)
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Hope you dont mind I am pinching this for facebook!!!!
 
This is brilliant! Though definitely keeping my elephant for eventing - the show jumping world sounds far too scary for us!
 
Oh paleeaze - do not under any circumstances shout upright or spread - or we'll know you're not a real SJer - it has to be vertical or oxer and only in emergencies, not every time you jump. Too much shouting may cause your foundation mask to crack.
 
Eventers.....your ned may be familiar with the various water complexes at Badminton or Burghley, but IF there is a water tray under one of the obstacles on the SJ course then it is compulsory for you to show it to your horse prior to the bell going! Ignore the rulebook - SJers have been doing this since time immemorial; however, it would appear that nowadays you don't need to be at all subtle about it! :D
 
Gunnergundog- that's because our governing body listened to us and did not insist on being stuck in 1841 with over use of the phrase "workmanlike".... And made it legal to show fences.
 
Zerotolerance said:
Oh paleeaze - do not under any circumstances shout upright or spread - or we'll know you're not a real SJer - it has to be vertical or oxer and only in emergencies, not every time you jump. Too much shouting may cause your foundation mask to crack.
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I think they shout it so people are at the right practice fence so they can put it back up after

MEOW!

:D:D:D
 
^ zero tolerance is correct. If you shout, it's because there's an eventer trotting in the wrong direction on the other side. No need to yell ordinarily; just dive on in and keep riding.

Oh, and we don't whinge to stewards. We are "growed ups" and go for a more challenging approach with the person commiting the foul. Or else we just get on with it, as per the founding post of this guide.
 
Junior BS is the reason I am never going to Scope again. Or any other mixed show where I have to be opened to te foul language- from both children and adults- child abuse, parent abuse, pony adoration, pony hatred and the eternal "my pop out is bigger than yours" competion.

If I ever see another lorry rock with te force of a parent smacking a child for not going inside to fence 4, it'll be too soon.
 
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