A Note to eventing lot about to invade BS

eishi said:
You forgot that all females whether riders or SJ mummys must wear a bronzer 2 shades darker than their natural skin colour and said bronzer must rub off attractively onto your show shirt collar throughout your round!
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I'm off to buy some tomorrow for us both.
 
Show-jumping in Yorkshire (the home of show-jumping) probably requires a whole new thread, but even up here it's customary to at least try to remember to drop the fag before you go in the ring.

It is generally compulsory to bring a wagon-load (6 in each class when there's only 12 entries in total), be male, 5'2, have a jacket that might have fitted your size 20 mother, have a fag glued to your lower lip, have won the Cock o' The North in 1974 and speak (if at all) in monosyllables, none of which would be allowed on the BBC before 9pm.

If (heaven forbid) you happen to be an eventer and between you and your fellow eventer you've managed to come 1st and 2nd in two consecutive classes it's generally considered to be the done thing to pack up and go home and let the 'proper' jumpers have a go at the next few classes ;)
 
Gamebird said:
Show-jumping in Yorkshire (the home of show-jumping) probably requires a whole new thread, but even up here it's customary to at least try to remember to drop the fag before you go in the ring.

It is generally compulsory to bring a wagon-load (6 in each class when there's only 12 entries in total), be male, 5'2, have a jacket that might have fitted your size 20 mother, have a fag glued to your lower lip, have won the Cock o' The North in 1974 and speak (if at all) in monosyllables, none of which would be allowed on the BBC before 9pm.

If (heaven forbid) you happen to be an eventer and between you and your fellow eventer you've managed to come 1st and 2nd in two consecutive classes it's generally considered to be the done thing to pack up and go home and let the 'proper' jumpers have a go at the next few classes ;)
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Best post yet!
 
No personal experiences, only as a spectator, is the back side bouncing down heavily in the saddle a few times after every fence the done thing??
 
Is it also correct to think that in yorkshire you are only aloud to compeate if you are wearing your fathers/grandfathers hunting boots?
 
Gamebird said:
Show-jumping in Yorkshire (the home of show-jumping) probably requires a whole new thread, but even up here it's customary to at least try to remember to drop the fag before you go in the ring.

It is generally compulsory to bring a wagon-load (6 in each class when there's only 12 entries in total), be male, 5'2, have a jacket that might have fitted your size 20 mother, have a fag glued to your lower lip, have won the Cock o' The North in 1974 and speak (if at all) in monosyllables, none of which would be allowed on the BBC before 9pm.

If (heaven forbid) you happen to be an eventer and between you and your fellow eventer you've managed to come 1st and 2nd in two consecutive classes it's generally considered to be the done thing to pack up and go home and let the 'proper' jumpers have a go at the next few classes ;)
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I will one day introduce you to my uncle, who is that exact person! (And possibly went to the same 'farrier finishing school' as your farrier ;) )
 
Stencilface said:
Fortunately one thing that isn't required at BS is a ridiculous nickname that all your school chums used to call you, horse teeth, an army of fans wearing tweed and dubarrys and hats that don't meet any safety requirements ;)

Ah, and a proper warm cafe with bar that you can sit in way from the rain, ground that's neither too wet/dry/sticky/rutted - eventers truly do have the most amount of excuses as to why they have a cricket score ;)
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Now that's more like it. And really, what kind of organisation has rules about the shade of your breeches and which coat goes with what, anyway?
 
Brill thread. It really is another world, but I love it.

Do all venues time the course walk? I still hadn't learnt the super long course, when the buzzer goes and everyone leaves the ring. But I don't know where I'm going. :eek:

Was just about to go in the ring on horsey when the hawk eyed steward spotted my top button wasn't done up, although my tie was squeezed tight on my neck. So, I've gone blank on the course, somehow fasten my top button, then proceed to do my round on half my normal intake of oxygen. :D

Can't wait for next time :D:D
 
Stencilface said:
Fortunately one thing that isn't required at BS is a ridiculous nickname that all your school chums used to call you, horse teeth, an army of fans wearing tweed and dubarrys and hats that don't meet any safety requirements ;)

Ah, and a proper warm cafe with bar that you can sit in way from the rain, ground that's neither too wet/dry/sticky/rutted - eventers truly do have the most amount of excuses as to why they have a cricket score ;)
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BOOOM :D That is more like it a bit of sport :p right back at you eventer folk! I think that whatever equestrian sport you partake in you are officially insane, so why not wear a bit of slap and sparkle... infact go crazy :cool: and then at least the tweed wearing folk have something to mock and look down on :p
 
rossiroo said:
Is it also correct to think that in yorkshire you are only aloud to compeate if you are wearing your fathers/grandfathers hunting boots?
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Only if they're wide enough round the calf to ensure that you'll probably drown if it rains.

Also you can only compete wearing a coat that has a very bright shiny patch on the left breast where you've removed the Union Jack that was granted to the coat's previous occupant.
 
Thank you Paddymonty - this is an excellent thread!

Is it frowned upon to turn up to the show in anything other than a massive, newly painted lorry with the rider and horse's name stencilled on all sides?
 
npage123 said:
Thank you Paddymonty - this is an excellent thread!

Is it frowned upon to turn up to the show in anything other than a massive, newly painted lorry with the rider and horse's name stencilled on all sides?
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"All horse boxes are to be parked in the main car park, Will Eventers please park their cattle trucks in the overflow car park,Thank you":D
 
Gamebird said:
Only if they're wide enough round the calf to ensure that you'll probably drown if it rains.

Also you can only compete wearing a coat that has a very bright shiny patch on the left breast where you've removed the Union Jack that was granted to the coat's previous occupant.
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Baler twine must also be involved somewhere .:cool:
 
Mike007 said:
"All horse boxes are to be parked in the main car park, Will Eventers please park their cattle trucks in the overflow car park,Thank you":D
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Love this thread! And Mike's post reminds me of flash lorries I see saying "Show Ponies on Board" which makes we want to go and do the same but paint "Bog Standard Happy Hackers of Slight Dodgy Conformation & Temperament On Board" down each side...:D
 
brilliant thread :-)

just to confirm will I be eliminated if I wear beige jods...

.just off top prep for sunday this will include a spray tan and false eye lashes...
 
pearcider said:
brilliant thread :-)

just to confirm will I be eliminated if I wear beige jods...

.just off top prep for sunday this will include a spray tan and false eye lashes...
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Don't forget your Juicy Couture tracky bottoms to keep your jods clean...
 
thanks for the tips so tomorrow we will leave the horses in the field and prep ourselves for our sj party...should I wear sunglasses obviously large ones when getting the horse ready??..
 
Really giggled at reading some of the posts.Have always rather enjoyed the us and them scenario between BS ers and BE ers. Dead give away of the BE ers is Dubarry boots and pearl stud earrings "uniform", a definite no no for BS. Likewise a per-ma tan Dan look is actively encouraged as some BS ers would like you to at least think they have been on the sunshine tour. While BE ers have tack coming out of their ears, BE ers do not look surprised at BS shows when there is a quick swap of a saddle from 1 horse to another (often not remotely the same size/shape) as often observed if a rider has say 2 horses in a jump off. BS ers aren't stupid enough to spend £1000s on so called saddle fitters when plenty of pads will do the job nicely.
 
I love my westropp clickety over-reach boots and will continue to wear them with pride,they drive other riders mad Why???? They drive my instructor Richard Barton mad Why???? I find them very theraputic. They are part of my kit, live with it Dont care who is jumping in same class have beaten them all already John and Micheal Whittaker, Harvey Smith legend that he is:D Ha must have put them off with my noisy over-reach boots :D:D
 
Brilliant, very true in many aspects!

It's acceptable to have a horse of mediocre fitness, in order to pass of rails on the second day of competition because 'he's tired'. Just try not to be the eventer who won the last class of the event because their horse was barely noticing that it had jumped in 3 other classes, and jumps the only clear round. A quiet 'Thank you' and a hasty exit must be in order.
 
O gosh, I think I might have a show jumper in the making. Although we only have a lowly IFW it does have a picture of my son's horse on the side - does that count?
 
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