christine48
Well-Known Member
The trouble with bringing in someone else's horse is, if either yourself or the horse get injured then you are not insured.
Aaaaaaaaaaand so it continues . . .
- Thread starter PolarSkye
- Start date
Meowy Catkin
Meow!
Well, I would still bring the horse in. I would just feel awful leaving it out with it stressing as it's on it's own.
blackandwhite
Well-Known Member
Tbh although I certainly don't agree with leaving your horse on its own I do see your fm's point of view. In all honesty I suspect you are underplaying your horse's behaviour. You're using lots of language that sounds like a sugar coated version of "nightmare". I've got one a bit like that but I'm fiercely honest about his potential for bad behaviour. He's not a stress head but if he wants to come in he patrols the gate like a bouncer and he'll happily just shove his way out. That's not something any other livery should feel they have to deal with and I'd never expect them to. If we're there we deal with him, if we're not the staff do. He's a docile kitten for us but because of his bulk and him making it very clear he will happily flatten anyone (he has a terrible past history of appalling behaviour) the other liveries are really wary of him, even the well seasoned ones who could easily manage him. Your fms seem to be making it as clear as they can that they are not as comfortable dealing with your horse as maybe you think they should be. It would ofcourse be much better if they'd just be upfront and try and address the issue like sensible grown ups!
I think your horse would benefit from the back up of staff and a hands on yo offering a full range of livery options and support. I'm sure you could do without the stress too. All that having to text each other and synchronise schedules must be a bit of a drag. Wouldn't it be better to just remove the stress and enjoy your horse?
I think your horse would benefit from the back up of staff and a hands on yo offering a full range of livery options and support. I'm sure you could do without the stress too. All that having to text each other and synchronise schedules must be a bit of a drag. Wouldn't it be better to just remove the stress and enjoy your horse?
DragonSlayer
Well-Known Member
This ^^^ I got completely flattened by another horse 'Oh, he's fine to bring in....'..
I soon moved, a couple of cracked ribs could have been something much worse...
AmyMay
Situation normal
How on earth can you come to that conclussion?
Littlelegs
Well-Known Member
This thread is priceless. We've gone from the op being annoyed the fm brought in early without informing her, to the op being someone who expects her horse brought in every night. Ops horse has gone from being one that stresses left alone to a problem horse that is a danger to ops fms & their horses. Op has changed from someone who is annoyed her horse was left stressing, to a precious owner who panics if her horse canters in the field. Did I read a different op to some people?
Tinypony
Well-Known Member
I think people are seeing how this might look from another perspective. I can see what they are saying. I can see both sides of the coin!
I suppose this just shows how problems can occur when informal and unpaid arrangements on DIY yards break down. Very frustrating, but whatever the reasons, we often rely on other people's good will. Normally it's a reciprocal arrangement and there's benefit all round. If it breaks down though... Nobody, not even the YO, can force unpaid individuals to handle or care for someone else's horse. If they did and there was an accident then where would that leave them?
I suppose this just shows how problems can occur when informal and unpaid arrangements on DIY yards break down. Very frustrating, but whatever the reasons, we often rely on other people's good will. Normally it's a reciprocal arrangement and there's benefit all round. If it breaks down though... Nobody, not even the YO, can force unpaid individuals to handle or care for someone else's horse. If they did and there was an accident then where would that leave them?
ihatework
Well-Known Member
OP's horse may, or may not be a PITA.
FM sounds like they are being deliberately unhelpful at best, spiteful at worst.
Short answer is, OP you have to sort this out yourself. Take rights & wrongs of FM out of the main equation and accept that you aren't going to get along and the horses aren't a suitable mix.
You need to either move your horse to another field which has more compatible horses/owners to yourself, or find a different yard. You need to get YO involved and do the good old fashioned, rational talking thing!
FM sounds like they are being deliberately unhelpful at best, spiteful at worst.
Short answer is, OP you have to sort this out yourself. Take rights & wrongs of FM out of the main equation and accept that you aren't going to get along and the horses aren't a suitable mix.
You need to either move your horse to another field which has more compatible horses/owners to yourself, or find a different yard. You need to get YO involved and do the good old fashioned, rational talking thing!
ossy
Well-Known Member
Agreed
PolarSkye
Well-Known Member
This. Sigh. I'm glad some of you can actually read. Thanks LL and the others who have actually read what I wrote and replied with something constructive.
Walks away shaking head and mystified . . .
P
LaurenBay
Well-Known Member
In the first instance, there was a misunderstanding because you failed to text/ring one of the FM's which could have resulted in her Horse getting injured (If I remember her Horse was slightly lame afterwards)
Yet you expect them to text and ring you.
TBH you all sound like a bit of a nightmare
Yet you expect them to text and ring you.
TBH you all sound like a bit of a nightmare
Littlelegs
Well-Known Member
Oh no, op has admitted to being a headshaker too. I suggest you move yourself to a full livery home with a husband who can be on hand to fit a nose net op. Currently as a headshaker you might injure your family or neighbours!
Equilibrium Ireland
Well-Known Member
PS, don't worry about it. You do your very best and are trying to work with people that are making it difficult. Not fair on your horse at all.
I had a different situation a few years ago when I first moved to this place. A one horse owner lost her original company and her her was a psycho with mares. I had one gelding and I stupidly said she could have him as company. I didn't see the issue. This person arrives at 9am or later. My guy used to going out at 6am. My guy was fine but it was annoying me. I had to go to work and liked everything done. Anyway I said I'd stick her guy out with mine early. Nope she says because she couldn't trust that I would put them out correctly. WTF? As in I'd put her horse out first and he'd go mental. Um my guy does not care when he goes out as long as he does. I was only doing all of this crap to try and help her. Evenings she brought in much later and my guy wasn't happy about it. Not stupid but stood at the gate whinnying, like come on already. So I lasted 2 more days and said right I'm putting my guy back in my fields. Your guy is not welcome as I have mares with foals back there and he can't handle mares at all. I tried working with you but you want to take and can't give. My guy is awesome for horses that need a bit of help. He never gets frantic, isn't a gate pusher, and helps the other ones, but at the same time I like to manage them in a way they're used to. I can obviously give a little but to assume I'd make her horse more nuts was quite frankly insulting. I had 8 at the time and all doable with me being the only carer! Meaning we wait at gates. We do not push others out of the way and they grow up learning some patience. So when she insulted me I was like, sorry sort your own horse out then.
PS, you're not like that and I wish you were closer as I'd lend you Frank. Your guy could have a dependable buddy that could keep him happy. I always respect that people want to do the very best for their horses and will be very accommodating if I have the easier horse. But insulting me and not giving an inch drives me fruitbatty. You are not like this PS. I hope the situation gets better for you.
Terri
I had a different situation a few years ago when I first moved to this place. A one horse owner lost her original company and her her was a psycho with mares. I had one gelding and I stupidly said she could have him as company. I didn't see the issue. This person arrives at 9am or later. My guy used to going out at 6am. My guy was fine but it was annoying me. I had to go to work and liked everything done. Anyway I said I'd stick her guy out with mine early. Nope she says because she couldn't trust that I would put them out correctly. WTF? As in I'd put her horse out first and he'd go mental. Um my guy does not care when he goes out as long as he does. I was only doing all of this crap to try and help her. Evenings she brought in much later and my guy wasn't happy about it. Not stupid but stood at the gate whinnying, like come on already. So I lasted 2 more days and said right I'm putting my guy back in my fields. Your guy is not welcome as I have mares with foals back there and he can't handle mares at all. I tried working with you but you want to take and can't give. My guy is awesome for horses that need a bit of help. He never gets frantic, isn't a gate pusher, and helps the other ones, but at the same time I like to manage them in a way they're used to. I can obviously give a little but to assume I'd make her horse more nuts was quite frankly insulting. I had 8 at the time and all doable with me being the only carer! Meaning we wait at gates. We do not push others out of the way and they grow up learning some patience. So when she insulted me I was like, sorry sort your own horse out then.
PS, you're not like that and I wish you were closer as I'd lend you Frank. Your guy could have a dependable buddy that could keep him happy. I always respect that people want to do the very best for their horses and will be very accommodating if I have the easier horse. But insulting me and not giving an inch drives me fruitbatty. You are not like this PS. I hope the situation gets better for you.
Terri
pip6
Well-Known Member
I would never pass judgement on OP or their horse, I don't know them.
Unfortunately I have been on the side of a similar problem, but from the other side. There were 4 horses in the field, 2 owned by same person who brought them in early. That left mine & a 17.2hh nightmare of bad mannered dangerous mare. The owner, who worked only a few days a week (not long hours either), expected me to bring her mare in. I refused. I have seen this mare attack a horse by going through a 5' post & rail fence (it was on a horse walker next to the field), & had it rear, coming at me with its front legs because I went in the field. Sorry, no. Choice between my life (yes I felt it was that dangerous) & precious neddy getting upset, I was not going to catch it. Wasn't nasty about it, just explained to YO my reasons. After I moved others came to experience this mares behaviour (of course owner swore blind it wasn't a problem to YO - only showed its true colours when it wanted to come in).
But then owner was lazy anyway. Yard rule was first up feeds. I was happy to put feed into stable, but did not have time to run around putting up haynets. If you think your horse needs feed that time in the morning (owner of mare single, no kids, no pets) then get out of bed, take respobsibility for your animal & ruddy well do it yourself. She was worst at the weekend expecting the net to be done as an excuse for a lie-in (hard-work doing 3 days work a week - needed the rest), leaving horses in filthy stables (she only ever skipped out poo) until midday. She could not grasp the idea that I did not want to get up 'extra' early to do her horses for her so she could have a lie-in. Would not go to a livery yard where others can abuse the fact that you go down & take your responsibilities seriously. In a private yard with just owner, no hassles, gossip or nastyness to deal with.
I hope you sort your problem out.
Unfortunately I have been on the side of a similar problem, but from the other side. There were 4 horses in the field, 2 owned by same person who brought them in early. That left mine & a 17.2hh nightmare of bad mannered dangerous mare. The owner, who worked only a few days a week (not long hours either), expected me to bring her mare in. I refused. I have seen this mare attack a horse by going through a 5' post & rail fence (it was on a horse walker next to the field), & had it rear, coming at me with its front legs because I went in the field. Sorry, no. Choice between my life (yes I felt it was that dangerous) & precious neddy getting upset, I was not going to catch it. Wasn't nasty about it, just explained to YO my reasons. After I moved others came to experience this mares behaviour (of course owner swore blind it wasn't a problem to YO - only showed its true colours when it wanted to come in).
But then owner was lazy anyway. Yard rule was first up feeds. I was happy to put feed into stable, but did not have time to run around putting up haynets. If you think your horse needs feed that time in the morning (owner of mare single, no kids, no pets) then get out of bed, take respobsibility for your animal & ruddy well do it yourself. She was worst at the weekend expecting the net to be done as an excuse for a lie-in (hard-work doing 3 days work a week - needed the rest), leaving horses in filthy stables (she only ever skipped out poo) until midday. She could not grasp the idea that I did not want to get up 'extra' early to do her horses for her so she could have a lie-in. Would not go to a livery yard where others can abuse the fact that you go down & take your responsibilities seriously. In a private yard with just owner, no hassles, gossip or nastyness to deal with.
I hope you sort your problem out.
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Grumpymoo
Well-Known Member
It doesn't matter whether the op's horse is a pain or not tbh. All she is asking is for a text to let her know that the other horses are coming in earlier than normal.
I would not want to bring someone else's horse in but I certainly would not have a problem with texting/calling/leaving a note to let the owner aware I was bring my horse in.
If it was me I think I would have to move yards, I couldn't put up with what you have to. Poor you
I would not want to bring someone else's horse in but I certainly would not have a problem with texting/calling/leaving a note to let the owner aware I was bring my horse in.
If it was me I think I would have to move yards, I couldn't put up with what you have to. Poor you
Gingerwitch
Well-Known Member
Right - the fuss all started because an established horse was going back into its established herd 5 weeks after it was on box rest - it was NOT a new horse -now tell me how many of you would text others in your field - most of you would not even think to.
She tells one of the fm's..... she turns her established horse back into an established field and waits and watches - which is a darn sight more than most would do.
She then gets threatened and bullied over face book
She is a better person than me, as i would have snotted both of them then - but she did not !
She makes arrangements to suit the other FM's whom obviously are dong their best to get her out of the field by being downright spiteful and nasty - and they cannot give her the courtsey of a text - or to bring a horse in - FGS - what is she supposed to do - camp their ?
She tells one of the fm's..... she turns her established horse back into an established field and waits and watches - which is a darn sight more than most would do.
She then gets threatened and bullied over face book
She is a better person than me, as i would have snotted both of them then - but she did not !
She makes arrangements to suit the other FM's whom obviously are dong their best to get her out of the field by being downright spiteful and nasty - and they cannot give her the courtsey of a text - or to bring a horse in - FGS - what is she supposed to do - camp their ?
PandorasJar
Well-Known Member
Move.
I wouldn't be staying on a yard with a YO that didn't sort out these problems, or with liveries like this.
PS has been far nicer than I would be in those circumstances. I'd be giving my money to someone who put the horses and liveries top.
AmyMay
Situation normal
Yep. I've come to the same conclussion regarding moving.
Mickey mouse YO, always = mickey mouse yard.
Gingerwitch
Well-Known Member
I have to agree i would be waving the white flag of surrender now too
LaurenBay
Well-Known Member
I would text my field mates. Just to cover my own a**e. If they still choose to leave out and their Horse gets injured then thats on them. It I don't tell anyone and their Horse gets injured its on me. I would have been fuming with OP for not telling me. As so many people have pointed out on this thread it takes only 30 seconds to send a text, but then this should apply to OP too. It does not excuse the nasty bullying childish behaviour on fb. It's a real shame 2 grown woman have had to resort to that.
Gingerwitch
Well-Known Member
But at what point in time do you have to start informing people that an established horse is going into its normal field with its established herd? - this was not a new horse.
Horses do not forget whom was their herd mate after 6 weeks or 10 weeks - 6 months maybe but 5 weeks seperation - no way - so if my horse was injured and box rest for 3 weeks and went out on the same day as my FM's horse went on box rest for 2 weeks - then i could throw a thrombie at her the day she turns her horse back out ? -
cronkmooar
Well-Known Member
Only scan read this and your previous thread - but my two pence worth is:
You're miserable, your horse is miserable - you need to find a new yard that fills all your requirements
Personally I would start phoning round and making appointments tonight
Good luck whatever you decide
You're miserable, your horse is miserable - you need to find a new yard that fills all your requirements
Personally I would start phoning round and making appointments tonight
Good luck whatever you decide
mcnaughty
Well-Known Member
Agree with this 100% - I used to be at a yard where the owner of the "other horse" left in the field was always late and it was up to me to bring it in due to the "no horse left by itself" rule. Bloody thing was a nightmare to handle and had double barrelled it's owner on more than one occasion! Field was a good 15/20 min walk so no way I was going back twice for that kind of abuse!
Sussexbythesea
Well-Known Member
At the end of the day it doesn't matter who is right or who is wrong, whether the other liveries or the OP are reasonable or unreasonable or whether the horse in question is easy to handle or a complete nutcase. You simply cannot make other people do what you want them to do or think the same way as you do. Unless the YO steps in and makes it compulsory you're never going to get the outcome you want.
I always think of this when I am faced with these types of issues (that is after I've had a good rant to get it off my chest)
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I always think of this when I am faced with these types of issues (that is after I've had a good rant to get it off my chest
) Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Annagain
Well-Known Member
Forgive me if this has already been mentioned (I've read through and don't think it has!) but if you generally like your yard other than the issue with the fieldmates and if their routine doesn't really fit with yours, (you've said you'd like him out longer but can't as he won't stay on his own) is there no way that you could speak to the yard owner about moving your horse to a different field / herd? It sounds like there are a few groups from what you say? If there's no room in another group, could you swap with somebody who would be on a similar routine to the FMs? I know you've managed to adapt your routine to fit in with them, but it would be much easier if you didn't have to - nor would you have to deal with their juvenile behaviour. I doubt this occurance will be a one off if they are as petty and mean as they seem to be.
LaurenBay
Well-Known Member
No not a new Horse. But 5 weeks is a long time. You can expect more running around etc. We also do not know any of these Horses. The more dominant Horses could have a problem with a Horse returning. Afterall Horses are unpredictable. I would not risk it.
My old share mare was seperated from her herd for 2 weeks, she went back into the field and the gelding (they were very close) attacked her. He bit down on her neck and wouldn't let go. It was horrible. The vet needed to come out to stitch it up! that was after 2 weeks. So yes the herd does adapt and change. But of course will change back once Horse was re introduced. But sometimes not without a bit of a tiff.
christine48
Well-Known Member
When my horses have been in for 5 weeks they do run round more, therefore out of politeness the OP should have contacted both FMs. They could then have had the choice to boot up or not. OP said one horse came in with swollen legs so I can understand why she wasn't too pleased.
rockysmum
Well-Known Member
This was on another thread. No-one will swap, which is why I was asking the question about whether it is the two FMs who are the reason, or that no-one wants a stressy horse in their field.
Meowy Catkin
Meow!
I think that no-one wants to be slagged off on FaceAche, so don't want to be in the field with the FM's.
Ashleigh_
Well-Known Member
^^ This.
I'm quite luckily in that the other geldings in Ronnie's field are all good on their own and I expect Ron to behave himself when left alone too, i'd feel such a liability to other liveries if I knew they would have to bring him in. It's different though as we also have yard manager on hand if we are late or anything and I haven't read the entire thread so sorry if I am jumping the gun.
Just an example though; this is the hill up to our turnout paddocks. It looks okay in this photo, and whilst all of us and the horses are used to the walk, it does get really tyring and is steeper in real life. At the moment because of the unusual and overwhelming amount of rain it is basically one big slope of wet mud, even the grassy bits at the side give little to no grip.
It would drive me totally insane if every time I went to get Ron I had to take another as well.
Taking two down at a time is do-able as they are all well behaved, but sod walking anything that was remotely excitable down with/without Ronnie. I can understand how it must be for them, but obviously I have no idea what you're yard is like, i'm just trying to show you an example from another viewpoint.
Like others, I think you've either got to go to a yard that has a rule that suits you regarding bringing in, get a companion or organise a sharedystem with someone else.
Best for your horse as well, it would be horrible to think he could injure himself from something so easily sorted
Good luck. ps. Although I can see both points of view, the way they have gone about it seems like really poor social management by the YO. I'd move.