AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH for god sake!!!

If it's just texts, what's the big deal? Has he actually strayed, or are you just jealous of the attention he's getting? If so, I think maybe you need help with your relationship and maybe some councelling to talk things through.
Don't mean to sound harsh, but if he hasn't actually done anything wrong, then why not just delete the texts and both of you have a bit of a laugh about it?
If he has strayed, then I'm really sorry for you and your little boy and hope you sort yourselves out soon, oh and that you string him up by his nuts! Hope it all works out for you soon x

p.s. When I first read your post, I thought you were the farrier who was receiving the texts, sorry!
 
Ive heard on here loads of times about how many people think there farrier is drop dead gorgeous etc. So some of the txt's maybe more then just a few xxxx to them. But im just confusing you even more becuase there is more to it. Sorry again, il shut up now. Thanks, C
 
must admit, like SC, i am extra-nice to my farrier, because i am utterly at his mercy if one of my horses needs a shoe putting back on! i've had farriers in the past who didn't turn up the right day (let alone hour)let me down horribly etc, so when i find a good reliable one i try very hard to keep him happy. as above, "xx" means nothing at all any more imho, if anything a text looks abrupt and rude without it.
if he's never cheated on you, get counselling, it's utter madness to throw away a relationship (esp with children involved) over unfounded jealousy.
 
Not sure if I am following this correctly.

But.. Are you going out with a farrier (and have a son with him) but are not living together now.

He is receiving messages on his phone from other females, he hates this too but does nothing about it as it's his clients and you have both broken up about it?

I would laugh at them. If he isn't doing anything over it (i.e actually meeting them for more than shoeing!) then ignore them and be pleased you obviously have a pretty desirable guy!
As long as he isn't getting back to them, you cannot help it really.x Goodluck.
 
But the point is the XXXXXX mean nothing to your OH, so where's the worry???? why ruin your relationship for some teenagers who happen to fancy your bloke??, madness......
 
The man who delivers my hay once ended a text to me with a 'x' and I PMSL! Showed everyone on the yard and made his life a misery (in a sort of kind way).
I can't imagine he would ever make the same mistake again, well certainly not on that yard!
p.s. and before I get shot down for being cruel, he knows I'm married!
 
dont think you can blame it on all girls ,men are also the same and sometimes there brain is in there trouses , it doesnt matter if you scream and shout or call woman what ever you like but if hes going to leave you ,hes going to leave you simple as texts with xx mean nothing atall , i think there is possibly abit of jealously or your abit paranoid
 
So your partner is a farrier. He recieves flirty text messages which he ignores, and you've split because of it.

Why??
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charlie55 has already said there is more to it than this, so why aren't people reading it properly, can we let it rest now
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Let what rest? I'm responding to a post.
 
my sympathies go out to you. ((((( hugs))))
Its really hard because of what they are doing, but if you said deep down you do trust him then sounds to me as though you are just a bit insecure. (but shows you love him)

its wrong what they are doing but at the end of the day he has to make a living and by upseting his customers he may start to loose business, resulting in you little one loosing out in the long run.

Try and sit him down and get him to see it if it was you that were receiving the texts how would he feel.

I know what you are going through this has happened to me my partner is a manager and had his staff txting and ringing him on his days off (for stupid things that could have waited and with xxxx on the msgs) it made my blood boil and we ended up having a big barney and I told him that I couldnt cope with it. Even to the point where I was going to ring them myself or go and see them,

I realised that it was either be miserable without him or try and compromise somewhere. we have managed to work things out, but I still jump everytime his phone beeps.

Good luck to you XXXXXXX ((((((hugs)))))
 
sorry sally it wasn't aimed at you
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Honestly though charlie55 doesn't want to tell us the whole story so we honestly can't help her, but we can be here if she wants to tell
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He kissed someone else a couple of years bk. He's very sorry, it didnt mean nothing, cant believe he done it etc etc but i cant forget.
So now these silly txt messages really wind me up
 
charlie you are really going to have to try and put that silly mistake behind you hun, you and OH really do need to sit down and talk to see if you can get back together,he clearly loves you if it upsets him coming round.
I'd agree with ester and have a works mobile and friends mobile as that is what are farrier does so he doesn't get hassled.
 
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He kissed someone else a couple of years bk. He's very sorry, it didnt mean nothing, cant believe he done it etc etc but i cant forget.
So now these silly txt messages really wind me up

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Ah. Well until you can learn to trust again, the relationship (any relationship) is doomed.

You know what? Life's too short. Move on, get a grip and throw his mobile in the bin.
 
My other half is a builder, some think he's yummy and he is always getting texts, calls from girls to go and do some work. It's fine I trust him and they are lining our pockets and providing a roof over our heads. ( and often paying for him to take me out
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I feel for you as jelousy is a destructive emotion and one that isn't easy to control.

Try though, your family unit is so much more important than some silly people having a laugh xx

Big hugs I hope you work it out
 
If you want this relationship to work out he needs an answering service, it could be you, so that calls to his mobile number go through the service and are put in the diary on his behalf and the answering service (or you) only speak to the customers, if he is running late the service can make calls for him too.

This way he doesn't give his personal mobile no to anybody and out of hours the calls just go to an answer phone. Once these silly girls realise that they are not messaging him direct they will soon stop.
 
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He kissed someone else a couple of years bk. He's very sorry, it didnt mean nothing, cant believe he done it etc etc but i cant forget.
So now these silly txt messages really wind me up

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Ah. Well until you can learn to trust again, the relationship (any relationship) is doomed.

You know what? Life's too short. Move on, get a grip and throw his mobile in the bin.

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I don't think you can possibly tell from a few random posts whether a person's relationship is doomed. It has taken me years to learn to trust my husband again, and I wouldn't say our relationship was doomed for all those years of mistrust. Nor would I have been especially grateful for someone telling me to get a grip, but then we all deal with things differently I suppose!
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OP if your husband/partner (sorry I cant remember!) truly wants to make things work he should be prepared to do anything to salvage what you have. If that means turning his phone off, or having two phones, then so be it. But if he is prepared to try hard to remedy the situation, then you have to be equally as determined not to snoop at his phone or allow yourself to be paranoid or bitter. It takes a lot of work to get things back on track (if thats is what you want of course)
 
As the relationship is over - doomed seems to be the right word. And if you have no trust - then any relationship is doomed. How can it not be? Who would want to be with anyone who is contstantly checking up on what you're doing, where you've been, who you're talking to?

I wouldn't.

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Nor would I have been especially grateful for someone telling me to get a grip, but then we all deal with things differently I suppose

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Ok, perhaps 'pull yourself together' is a better phrase. As I said, life is simply too short. It would seem that the only thing this bloke is guilty of is receiving text messages - from people who should know better, and kiss someone several years ago.

Sorry, but I really cannot see what the problem is.
 
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mother_hen, that is a brilliant idea.

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Not an original one I'm afraid - i had a friend who ran several diaries and answering services for window cleaners and similar self employed business people. It mean they could get on with the work but they had an afficient admin backup - the diary can be computer based (google diaries?) for remote access
 
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As the relationship is over - doomed seems to be the right word. And if you have no trust - then any relationship is doomed. How can it not be? Who would want to be with anyone who is contstantly checking up on what you're doing, where you've been, who you're talking to?

I wouldn't.

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It is possible to not trust someone without constant and obvious paranoia. I kept my lack of trust to myself, and forced myself not to keep checking up, and as a result our marriage is back on track. It depends on what you both want as the end result I suppose!
 
Now this is why i am soooo annoyed!! A member of his family does the answering of calls, books him in etc etc, but some still end up with his number!! Hes answer is, because its easier for me to give them a call and say il be five mins etc etc! I dont see why its easier, just get the family member to do it! simples!
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OP - I can understand your upset and frustration and sorry that it has impacted so badly on your relationship and your son. I think around yards there is a preponderance for young girls (and some older women!) to find vets, farriers and instructors very attractive.

We have some great eye candy that comes to our stables but I just admire the view and don't hassle them as I'm employing them for their professional skill not to get my hormones racing. I know some youngsters who will go out of their way to be there everytime their farrier comes and arrange appts just for this reason yet I prefer to let a professional just get on with his job without being distracted. One woman I know (and she's no young girl) flirted with a farrier throughout someone else's horse being shod as she happened to be there and took a shine to him (he's in a relationship) and when the owner saw her horse's feet afterwards she knew he'd not been able to concentrate as not very tidy trimming and it was the only time he'd ever not done her a good job. Conversely one girl has given so much information away to her farrier about her multitude of relationships she's got a bit of reputation and joked about so it can end up back in their face.

IMO communication by text is far from ideal in many situations and there are no boundaries and much can be misunderstood by just a few words and the use of xxxx is very prevalent and totally overused whether relevant or not. I get text kisses from total strangers! Charlie55 I hope things sort themselves out for you.
 
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