Tinypony
Well-Known Member
If anyone pauses to read PS's later post she actually says that really she blames herself.
So maybe time to stop bashing her round the head?
So maybe time to stop bashing her round the head?
Absolutely furious :(
- Thread starter PolarSkye
- Start date
Moya_999
Well-Known Member
Moya_999
Well-Known Member
Actually yes they do as many of them have helped me with her ailments and helped with the recovery.
We help each other with in hand walking and holding a leg up etc it all swings in roundabouts.
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Moya_999
Well-Known Member
I would rather be on a yard where people help and advice when a horse is ill or going through an ailment than a yard where no one gives a rats about your horse than a yard where no one helps or cares or does not want to help, I would not contemplate a yard like that.
PS I hope your horse does not suffer any ill effect from this unfortunate incident.
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FestiveFuzz
Well-Known Member
I did read all of your posts, but your original point was that you agreed with the OP who was blaming the livery her rider hacked out with, rather than the rider. You've since contradicted this in your following posts so I'm a bit confused as to what your point is?
ihatework
Well-Known Member
I think there is a significant difference between not caring/giving a rats ass & not spending every last minute on the yard getting updates on every horse and offering your two penneth (what a nightmare!!!).
I'm currently on a yard of circa 30 horses. Some owners I rarely see / know anything about their horse, it's just the way it is. Others I will chat to and ask after problems or offer my thoughts if asked.
I'm primarily there for my own horse. At the end of the day my time is limited and don't need it being taken up by someone else's! Likewise, I have no desire to give others the ins and outs of what I'm doing with my horse.
Anyway, OP has recognised their rant was misdirected, so hopefully the other livery does not get wind of the rant and the rider takes their responsibilities a little more seriously.
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Moya_999
Well-Known Member
I have not contradicted anything what I am guilty of is not explaining which part I meant that I was with the OP.
I was refering to her being upset that they trotted on the road. I would be upset they trotted my horse when it is stricked walk on only on the road.
Not the part of blaming I should have made that a bit clearer. I stand by what I said:
When you are riding another persons horse its up to the rider to acquiesce to the owners request .
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_GG_
Well-Known Member
I've got to chime in here to clear a few things up as I can totally understand many of the comments, but PS is too nice a person to tell the absolute truth.
I know PS very well, she is one of my closest friends, but anyone that knows me even a little bit should know that I will tell anyone if I think they are being unfair, no matter how close I am to them.
PS is not overreacting here. Her yard is not a normal livery yard. I know because I have been there. It is about as far removed from a normal type livery yard as you can get. Again, PS won't tell you this herself, but she has done more for this lady than turning her horse out every morning for a year. A lot more and this is not an easy horse to handle. This is a very small, quiet and incredibly private little yard and this lady knew everything about Kal and his medical history. Let's not forget, this is very recent history and Kal is still in the rehabilitation process....still, every day sound is a step forward. This lady knows this. Kal was close to the end only a matter of months ago and this lady knows this. She knows the issues, the knows the importance of the rehabilitation and she damn well knows that he isn't allowed to do anything like trotting on roads, so whilst PS has graciously taken the lions share of the blame on her own shoulders, I think she is completely justified in feeling very let down by this lady.
She knew everything, including the fact that N is a young girl and still new to the yard and she took full advantage of that. She didn't simply want to trot, ask a question and not get a reply. She wanted to trot knowing full well that Kal shouldn't do that yet and knowing full well that N is not confident enough to argue about it.
PS...I do understand why you have come back on here and taken the blame for yourself, but I have to say that I would be absolutely livid with her for doing that. All you have done for her, the fact that she knows absolutely everything and still put your boy in a position that could, effectively put him back to square one where his life is on the line is not something I think I could be quite so understanding about.
Yes, I could be accused of being overly dramatic here, but PS has shed so many tears this years on the brink of having to have Kal PTS and to get him to the point of being sound and have someone you know and trust be so thoughtless is just plain hurtful.
Rant over.
I know PS very well, she is one of my closest friends, but anyone that knows me even a little bit should know that I will tell anyone if I think they are being unfair, no matter how close I am to them.
PS is not overreacting here. Her yard is not a normal livery yard. I know because I have been there. It is about as far removed from a normal type livery yard as you can get. Again, PS won't tell you this herself, but she has done more for this lady than turning her horse out every morning for a year. A lot more and this is not an easy horse to handle. This is a very small, quiet and incredibly private little yard and this lady knew everything about Kal and his medical history. Let's not forget, this is very recent history and Kal is still in the rehabilitation process....still, every day sound is a step forward. This lady knows this. Kal was close to the end only a matter of months ago and this lady knows this. She knows the issues, the knows the importance of the rehabilitation and she damn well knows that he isn't allowed to do anything like trotting on roads, so whilst PS has graciously taken the lions share of the blame on her own shoulders, I think she is completely justified in feeling very let down by this lady.
She knew everything, including the fact that N is a young girl and still new to the yard and she took full advantage of that. She didn't simply want to trot, ask a question and not get a reply. She wanted to trot knowing full well that Kal shouldn't do that yet and knowing full well that N is not confident enough to argue about it.
PS...I do understand why you have come back on here and taken the blame for yourself, but I have to say that I would be absolutely livid with her for doing that. All you have done for her, the fact that she knows absolutely everything and still put your boy in a position that could, effectively put him back to square one where his life is on the line is not something I think I could be quite so understanding about.
Yes, I could be accused of being overly dramatic here, but PS has shed so many tears this years on the brink of having to have Kal PTS and to get him to the point of being sound and have someone you know and trust be so thoughtless is just plain hurtful.
Rant over.
Moya_999
Well-Known Member
Well written _GG_ and my thoughts are with PolarSkye. I hope Kal is fine and nothing was aggravated in the thoughtless act
Apercrumbie
Well-Known Member
I hadn't actually realised that N wasn't your/a child, I don't know why I assumed that. Tbh both are in the wrong, but it's the rider I would have an issue with. N has now shown that she can't be trusted with your horse's rehab. I really hope that it hasn't hurt Kal so keeping my fingers crossed for you.
pip6
Well-Known Member
It can be impossible to reply to a rider who asks a question as they 'go'. Some horses wont react well to something taking off under their noses whilst being held back, which can be a dangerous situation on a road. I was riding a friends horse, she offered to transport me to the moor, where I could hack out with another friend to show me a route. We were fine, until the friend asked if I wanted a trot up a Tor. We trotted two strides, then she went full gallop up the track. I was not safe, on a strange horse on a track I didn't know (with huge drops close by) doing that, so I tried to take a half halt for a controlled ascent. Next thing I know I'm on a spinning, rearing nutter. 'Friend' totally out of earshot despite my yelling at her as loud as I could. When we finally got up to her (she sat and watched, didn't come back to us to help settle horse), asked her in a very controlled manner what the hell she was playing at, she said a trot. Her reply was her horse always galloped up that track and she couldn't hold her. Not a word of apology for what she'd done to me. I turned around and rode back to her place disgusted with her, not willing to risk friends horse or my neck any further (Dartmoor is not a place to be out of control lightly). She knew what was going to happen and lied to me.
crabbymare
Well-Known Member
Seeing this I have every sympathy for PS and I would also be fuming. as its a small yard I dont think the person who trotted off will find it hard to have hacking companions after that. I realy hope the horse has not done any damage
JFTDWS
+++ Out of Cheese Error +++
I'd rather look after my own horses and leave other people to deal with theirs as they see fit, but as I said previously, each to their own.
GG, I did rather suspect there might be more to this than PS was letting on. It isn't like PS to lose the plot for no reason...
_GG_
Well-Known Member
That sounds terrifying. I think it's probably happened to most of us. I was on what was I think only my 4th or 5th hack on Fly after getting her having had no re-training, just out for a hack with my YO and her then 14yr old daughter. Got to the common (open with a busy road and no barrier) and YO up front said, "Want to canter?" a sentence which she had not finished before she had sent her horse forward so even if I had said no, she had already gone. There was no way I was allowing an ex racer that always came from behind to go on in that situation with a road at the end and no idea if I had brakes. Fly was good in that she stayed but my god, how I stayed on I still don't know and the YO's daughter stayed with me and was screaming at her mum about being so stupid.
Seeing this I have every sympathy for PS and I would also be fuming. as its a small yard I dont think the person who trotted off will find it hard to have hacking companions after that. I realy hope the horse has not done any damage
I'm glad I wrote it then. I normally don't bother as we're all adults and can speak for ourselves, but PS was being too kind.
JJS
Well-Known Member
I'm afraid that even knowing those extra details, I don't think the other livery should shoulder all, or even most, of the blame. Knowing the facts, I accept that she probably shouldn't have asked about trotting, but perhaps she thought Kal's rehab had progressed to a point where it would be alright, and asking the question was her way of looking for conformation.
Irrespective, N is surely the one at fault. I'm also a young girl. I'm non-confrontational and have always been painfully shy. Despite that, if I knew that a horse I was riding couldn't trot on a road, I would say so, and don't see why N couldn't. I'm sure she has a tongue like everyone else. The other woman being domineering is no excuse. I would expect my 12 year old sister to be able to do the same if I told her that her pony was to walk on the roads and I assume that N isn't younger than her.
However, I do feel bad for you, OP, as you trusted both of the people in this situation to take good care of a horse that you obviously adore. If Kal was mine, N would most certainly be getting a tongue lashing, with the threat that if anything like that happened again she wouldn't be riding him anymore.
_GG_
Well-Known Member
You are correct. I have now spoken to PS and there is indeed more to it.
N did say no when the woman asked if they wanted to trot, but the response from the woman was, "don't be silly, trotting on the road will make him stronger". N didn't know where she was so couldn't get home on her own and the woman went off anyway, so rather than have a panicky Kal on a strange road, she did what she thought was best to avoid anything worse happening.
I do really feel the need to stick up for PS here. She has said earlier in the thread that she does shoulder most of the blame which is just like her, but I honestly don't believe she should. This is a woman who trusts PS with her horses welfare and PS had every right to do the same. It can never be right to behave like that when in full knowledge of the horses rehabilitation needs.
I'm not surprised PS is so angry and upset and I really hope she doesn't mind me doing this, but she is my friend, she has been let down by someone she has bent over backwards for and this isn't just about a horse going lame again. A set back can mean curtains for Kal and he is such a beautiful horse and means the absolute world to PS, so I am feeling rather defensive of my friend and my horse.
That said, I won't lie or exaggerate the truth and neither will she. This woman failed her, end of.
I also feel sorry for N. I have never met her, but she has been wonderful for PS and Kal and it must have been a bad enough situation anyway, but to then have to explain things. It's really not that hard to be responsible, I just think the woman was selfish and wilfully so.
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JJS
Well-Known Member
That's an entirely different situation to the one originally described then, and in those circumstances I too would have been fuming with the other livery. It also explains why N acted as she did. However, on a forum we can only go on what we're told, so people's initial responses to this thread are completely understandable.
_GG_
Well-Known Member
Absolutely understand that. That's why I decided to chime in. I just couldn't stay quiet. PS is just too nice to say so much and she herself didn't know all of it until she spoke to N properly about it. Poor girl, not a nice situation for her to be in either
marmalade76
Well-Known Member
Agreed.
Caol Ila
Well-Known Member
Oh, wow, that little bit of information changes things. In which case, PS is totally in the right to be livid with that lady.
SunSeeker
Active Member
In light of the full story I agree that PS is justified in feeling extremely angry and let down by the fellow livery. On a small scale set up everything depends on cooperation and team work. It sounds like this person was in full knowledge of the health of the horse and has acted with willfull neglect.
I think I would complain directly to her (if you havent already) and make it clear to her that you no longer trust her poor judgement.
Hope your boy is ok and there are no major ill effects.
I think I would complain directly to her (if you havent already) and make it clear to her that you no longer trust her poor judgement.
Hope your boy is ok and there are no major ill effects.
Pinkvboots
Well-Known Member
Seen as we now know that the livery is fully aware of the injuries this horse has had, I would be really angry too that is just stupid behaviour and she sounds like a right cow.
FestiveFuzz
Well-Known Member
Agree this is completely different and in PS's shoes I'd be furious too.
Doormouse
Well-Known Member
What a very unkind thing to do, I do hope Kal hasn't suffered at all for it.
Horrid feeling for PS, at best this woman thought she had more knowledge than the vets and at worst it was a deliberately spiteful attempt to give Kal a set back. I do hope for PS's sake it was the former.
Horrid feeling for PS, at best this woman thought she had more knowledge than the vets and at worst it was a deliberately spiteful attempt to give Kal a set back. I do hope for PS's sake it was the former.
PolarSkye
Well-Known Member
Apologies for stepping away from the thread, but I needed some time to put things in perspective and sort my head out.
In the cold light of day, I didn't exactly cover myself in glory by being quite so personal about the livery and her horse. I am still very angry and hurt that she would disregard my horse in this way, but it doesn't excuse what I said about her or her mare.
I do, however, stand by my original assertion that I don't (and won't) blame N - she was put in a difficult situation and had to make the best of it. She and I had a long chat this morning and she is now very aware that she is not to hack with this woman under any circumstances. Ever. While my fellow livery behaved in a reckless and thoughtless manner, the fault is still mine for going against my better judgement and letting N hack out with her - it won't happen again.
Pops is actually very sore - pretty much all over - his pectorals are sore, he doesn't want to "lift," and he's stiff behind. It transpires the trot on the road was actually quite lengthy so perhaps he is just feeling rather jarred up and is holding himself accordingly - it won't help that it's been so cold and damp - in any event the physio is due out on Saturday anyway, so I'm hoping she can give him some relief.
I honestly didn't expect this thread to run the way it has . . . but it has been interesting and enlightening reading - and I've learned a valuable lesson about taking a deep breath and not posting when quite so enraged. I should have waited until I was armed with all of the facts AND until I had calmed down . . . and then perhaps not posted at all.
P
In the cold light of day, I didn't exactly cover myself in glory by being quite so personal about the livery and her horse. I am still very angry and hurt that she would disregard my horse in this way, but it doesn't excuse what I said about her or her mare.
I do, however, stand by my original assertion that I don't (and won't) blame N - she was put in a difficult situation and had to make the best of it. She and I had a long chat this morning and she is now very aware that she is not to hack with this woman under any circumstances. Ever. While my fellow livery behaved in a reckless and thoughtless manner, the fault is still mine for going against my better judgement and letting N hack out with her - it won't happen again.
Pops is actually very sore - pretty much all over - his pectorals are sore, he doesn't want to "lift," and he's stiff behind. It transpires the trot on the road was actually quite lengthy so perhaps he is just feeling rather jarred up and is holding himself accordingly - it won't help that it's been so cold and damp - in any event the physio is due out on Saturday anyway, so I'm hoping she can give him some relief.
I honestly didn't expect this thread to run the way it has . . . but it has been interesting and enlightening reading - and I've learned a valuable lesson about taking a deep breath and not posting when quite so enraged. I should have waited until I was armed with all of the facts AND until I had calmed down . . . and then perhaps not posted at all.
P
_GG_
Well-Known Member
Now I'll disagree with you. It is ALWAYS worth posting these things as it serves as a valuable reminder to us all to be careful in who we trust. Your anger is justified and I really really hope he's just feeling it in his muscles a bit and it is nothing more than that xxx
sheep
Well-Known Member
I read your OP as being very emotional and understandably cross - I think we will all agree that people often say things in anger that they wouldn't say normally. Also, the anger distorts our normal thought patterns. On this basis I think you have had a fairly hard time on this thread - I think many of us would feel similarly in the same situation.
In any case, I hope Kal is feeling better very soon, and that there are no lasting effects. I'm glad you have been able to have a chat with your rider, and that she is now fully aware of your feelings on the issue. Your posts are usually so reasoned so I can only assume that you were terribly upset by what happened. I would be too.
Hope you are feeling ok now too - good luck to Kal with the physio at the weekend.
ihatework
Well-Known Member
Good post
Hope Kal is okay.I would say something to the livery, not in an angry way but along the lines of 'I was very disappointed with XYZ, after the help I have given you I would have hoped you would have looked out for Kal a bit more. I'm going to have to stop hacking with you Im afraid, no hard feelings.'
Passive yet assertive.
JFTDWS
+++ Out of Cheese Error +++
That paragraph changes everything - and if PS had posted those details in the OP, I'm sure the thread would have run differently. Livery needs a pat on the head with a baseball bat.
Poor Kal. I hope he's feeling better soon.
