Advice needed please

[Jaycee]

Can someone advise me on what I should do please?

I have a 17year old son with severe learning difficulties, I also have a dog aged 15 who can be cranky at times.

Now son knows the dog can be a cranky but likes to cuddles him, Dylan always growls if things get a bit too much and my son usually leaves him alone then, but today he didn't despite Dylan growling and me telling him to leave the dog alone - Dylan ended up biting him (only a slight graze).

I understand that under normal circumstances this could warrant the dog being put down, but it is difficult as Dylan was provoked and gave plenty of warning............what would you do?

 

[twiggy2]

Can someone advise me on what I should do please?

I have a 17year old son with severe learning difficulties, I also have a dog aged 15 who can be cranky at times.

Now son knows the dog can be a cranky but likes to cuddles him, Dylan always growls if things get a bit too much and my son usually leaves him alone then, but today he didn't despite Dylan growling and me telling him to leave the dog alone - Dylan ended up biting him (only a slight graze).

I understand that under normal circumstances this could warrant the dog being put down, but it is difficult as Dylan was provoked and gave plenty of warning............what would you do?

You either have to prevent the dog being put in that situation or PTS, the dog may be suffering from arthritic pain or similar and that could explain the behaviour but it is not fair to put the dog i that situation. I have never let any kids cuddle the dogs it is not a naturally comfortable situation for a dog to be in anyway.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

Can someone advise me on what I should do please?

I have a 17year old son with severe learning difficulties, I also have a dog aged 15 who can be cranky at times.

Now son knows the dog can be a cranky but likes to cuddles him, Dylan always growls if things get a bit too much and my son usually leaves him alone then, but today he didn't despite Dylan growling and me telling him to leave the dog alone - Dylan ended up biting him (only a slight graze).

I understand that under normal circumstances this could warrant the dog being put down, but it is difficult as Dylan was provoked and gave plenty of warning............what would you do?

I have an older dog and two step kids with severe learning difficulties. They get supervised time whereby they stroke his head etc (no cuddles-wouldnt let them do that anyway) and take him for a short walk up the lane and thats it-the rest of the time they are to leave him alone and we can put him behind a dog gate.

Is the dog on any pain meds?

 

[Jaycee]

No he's not on any meds as not found to be in pain, I try to keep him away from Dylan but not always possible, not really practical to shut Dylan away as he would whine constantly as I have tried that. (I didn't realise I shouldn't let him cuddle the dogs - my bad!)

I guess maybe its time to call it a day

 

[springtime1331]

Personally, I wouldn't put the dog down in those circumstances. I think you just need to keep them apart.

 

[Jaycee]

Personally, I wouldn't put the dog down in those circumstances. I think you just need to keep them apart.

That would be practically impossible Dylan has always been part of the family since his arrival at 12wks old and shutting him away now would stress him out too much, my son is more than capable of opening or climbing over stair gates, letting them out during the night. I cannot make him understand that getting bitten is the consequence of his own actions so I don't think I have much choice really

 

[Alec Swan]

One question Jaycee; Do you suppose that your son learned anything from being nipped? The next time, if there is a 'next time' the bight will probably be harder, and if it is, will your son learn from that, do you think? Only you will know your son and his ability to accept the principles of cause and effect. It would be interesting to have your thoughts.

Your dog is 15 years old, and that is old! To re-home at his advanced time in life would possibly make you feel better about yourself, but would perhaps bring an unjustified level of confusion to the poor old dog. If you feel that the situation is likely to escalate because your son lacks the capacity to understand the consequences of his actions, then before the situation reaches crisis point, with a badly bitten child, you in a state of upset and shock, then perhaps an organised, calm and dignified trip to the vet, and in a peaceful manner, may be the answer.

I understand your predicament and I don't envy you.

Alec.

ETS; Just now read your last post, and for the good of all, I suspect that you may be right. I'm sorry.

 

[Jaycee]

One question Jaycee; Do you suppose that your son learned anything from being nipped? The next time, if there is a 'next time' the bight will probably be harder, and if it is, will your son learn from that, do you think? Only you will know your son and his ability to accept the principles of cause and effect. It would be interesting to have your thoughts.

Your dog is 15 years old, and that is old! To re-home at his advanced time in life would possibly make you feel better about yourself, but would perhaps bring an unjustified level of confusion to the poor old dog. If you feel that the situation is likely to escalate because your son lacks the capacity to understand the consequences of his actions, then before the situation reaches crisis point, with a badly bitten child, you in a state of upset and shock, then perhaps an organised, calm and dignified trip to the vet, and in a peaceful manner, may be the answer.

I understand your predicament and I don't envy you.

Alec.

ETS; Just now read your last post, and for the good of all, I suspect that you may be right. I'm sorry.

Going on past experience it is very doubtful that he will have learned anything. I have always warned him that Dylan will only tolerate so much, it almost seems like my son tries to get a reaction out of him - and yes that is my major concern that IF there is a next time it could be worse.

As I've already said it would stress Dylan out too much to be separated from the rest of us and the other animals - I simply can't keep them all separate from us as there would be no point in having them as companions - at present I have 2 dogs and one of my cats stretched out in front of the fire.

And yes I agree at his age and being unpredictable it would not be fair to re-home him.

 

[Sandstone1]

It's not the dogs fault. He gave warnings. Would a crate help? Dog could then be in same room but away from your son. Seems really unfair on the dog to pts.

 

[AmyMay]

Personally, I wouldn't put the dog down in those circumstances. I think you just need to keep them apart.

Or supervise at the very least.

 

[Jaycee]

Or supervise at the very least.[/QUOTE

Easier said than done as there simply times when I can't

 

[Jaycee]

It's not the dogs fault. He gave warnings. Would a crate help? Dog could then be in same room but away from your son. Seems really unfair on the dog to pts.

I totally agree it is unfair on Dylan, unfortunately my living room is far too small to accomodate a suitabley sized crate - he's quite a big dog

 

[Princess16]

I would imagine OP can't be there 24/7 to supervise.

It's a tricky one - you say you have 2 dogs - what about the other one? Does he try to cuddle him too?

I definitely wouldn't try to rehome him that would be cruel at his old age.

You have two options - crate and keep as close an eye as possible or maybe your OH (assuming you have one) or PTS sadly as if God forbid he did go for him again he would end up being PTS anyway.

It's a shame as it's really not the dog's fault :-(

It's a tough one my heart goes out to you.

 

[chillipup]

Does your son cuddle the other dog or your cats? How do they react? OOps bit of cross posting

 

[Jaycee]

I would imagine OP can't be there 24/7 to supervise.

It's a tricky one - you say you have 2 dogs - what about the other one? Does he try to cuddle him too?

I definitely wouldn't try to rehome him that would be cruel at his old age.

You have two options - crate and keep as close an eye as possible or maybe your OH (assuming you have one) or PTS sadly as if God forbid he did go for him again he would end up being PTS anyway.

It's a shame as it's really not the dog's fault :-(

It's a tough one my heart goes out to you.

You see that's the problem I can't supervise 24/7 (although I do try but I have to sleep sometime) and I don't have an OH to help. and a crate is not an option as I simply don't have the space for one
The other dog is a lab thats as daft as a brush and up for fun and games with anyone. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, once she's had enough she takes herself off to another room

 

[Jaycee]

Does your son cuddle the other dog or your cats? How do they react? OOps bit of cross posting

Cats are far too aloof for cuddles - other dog is a lab and loves cuddles - but I see that shouldn't be allowed so will try and put a stop to that

 

[AmyMay]

If your son doesn't need constant supervision (which it sounds as if he doesn't) can you not keep the dog in whatever part of the house you're in when not with your son?

As for the other dog, I would be looking to re home it.

 

[Jaycee]

If your son doesn't need constant supervision (which it sounds as if he doesn't) can you not keep the dog in whatever part of the house you're in when not with your son?[/QUOTE)

I do have to sleep sometimes!

Its hard enough to get Dylan to get up and go anywhere let alone follow me around when I'm busy doing chores if my son is about - I've only got a small 2 bed bungalow, we'd be tripping over ourselves all the time.

And thanks for your input about my other dog, why would I want to do that?

 

[twiggy2]

I agree it is not the dogs fault but it is not the sons fault either or the OP's. we all know that is is difficult enough to contain a toddler but for much larger people with the physical size and ability but not the understanding it must be exceedingly difficult.
I would PTS as I don't think the current situation is fair on the dog, I don't see how crating would help as the dog would just be cornered and possibly more defensive due to that and I would guess OP's son would just open the crate, I also agree that rehoming a dog of that age is most likely not i the dogs best interest either.
As an aside I would also rehome the other dog if All interaction cannot be supervised and I do see why it may not be possible to supervise constantly.

 

[Princess16]

As for the other dog, I would be looking to re home it.

Why on earth would you do that ? The other dog has done nothing wrong

 

[Jaycee]

I agree it is not the dogs fault but it is not the sons fault either or the OP's. we all know that is is difficult enough to contain a toddler but for much larger people with the physical size and ability but not the understanding it must be exceedingly difficult.
I would PTS as I don't think the current situation is fair on the dog, I don't see how crating would help as the dog would just be cornered and possibly more defensive due to that and I would guess OP's son would just open the crate, I also agree that rehoming a dog of that age is most likely not i the dogs best interest either.
As an aside I would also rehome the other dog if All interaction cannot be supervised and I do see why it may not be possible to supervise constantly.

Why would I want to re-home my other dog she hasn't done anything wrong

 

[Jaycee]

Why on earth would you do that ? The other dog has done nothing wrong

Was just asking the same question

 

[Princess16]

Was just asking the same question

Totally agree. If as you say the Lab is as daft as a brush and stands for it then I don't see a problem. It is well proven that dogs are great for disabled people's (mentally or otherwise) wellbeing. How on earth will that poor boy react if you take both his pets that he loves off of him?

The problem I do see you havjng is if you do PTS the other dog how are you going to explain it to your son?

Eta I would start putting some new boundaries in with the other dog though because it will only be a matter of time that he gets older/worse health etc and more grumpy and probably not so amenable to cuddles etc.

 

[twiggy2]

Why would I want to re-home my other dog she hasn't done anything wrong

because IF you cannot supervise ALL interactions and your son cannot read the signs that he needs to stop you are putting them both in a dangerous situation that can be avoided

 

[Sandstone1]

There are charities that train dogs for autistic children, could they maybe give you some advise?

 

[Jaycee]

Totally agree. If as you say the Lab is as daft as a brush and stands for it then I don't see a problem. It is well proven that dogs are great for disabled people's (mentally or otherwise) wellbeing. How on earth will that poor boy react if you take both his pets that he loves off of him?

The problem I do see you havjng is if you do PTS the other dog how are you going to explain it to your son?

Eta I would start putting some new boundaries in with the other dog though because it will only be a matter of time that he gets older/worse health etc and more grumpy and probably not so amenable to cuddles etc.

Strangely enough he copes very well with the loss of pets when they die/PTS, but it would break him completely to lose the other dog for what to him would be no apparent reason (lab is only 3 yrs old), she adores him and follows him everywhere, she is the one he turns to for comfort when he's upset. She has a very calming effect on him.

 

[Princess16]

Strangely enough he copes very well with the loss of pets when they die/PTS, but it would break him completely to lose the other dog for what to him would be no apparent reason (lab is only 3 yrs old), she adores him and follows him everywhere, she is the one he turns to for comfort when he's upset. She has a very calming effect on him.

Exactly hence my post re not rehomjng him. I feel for you I really do x

 

[Jaycee]

There are charities that train dogs for autistic children, could they maybe give you some advise?

Thanks for the suggestion, my lab is brilliant with my son, she adores him and follows him everywhere, she is the one he turns to when he's upset as she seems to calm him down

 

[Jaycee]

because IF you cannot supervise ALL interactions and your son cannot read the signs that he needs to stop you are putting them both in a dangerous situation that can be avoided

As I have already said the lab is more than capable of removing herself from any unwanted attention. Please read other posts about their relationship as she is more like a therapy dog to him

 

[Sandstone1]

Maybe if you spoke to one of the charities about your old dog they may be able to suggest a way of coping.
Seems very unfair to pts when it's not his fault.