advice on what to do please

[tinycharlie]

Hi all and happy new year to you all xx
My daughter is 11 and her pony is 4, she is a nervous rider and she's had a few falls off him which has knocked her confidence.
He's good for his age in many ways but he has a lot of learning to do, he's a bit spooky but nothing major, he gets excited hacking in company
(we've had a girl riding him out in company for us)
We've recently moved yards and he's now with 3 other ponies whereas he was alone before.
Now on hacks he goes so far absolutely fine and then starts calling to his friends and getting a bit agitated, I don't blame him but this makes my daughter get agitated and scared so she gets off. I've tried to get her to stay calm and ignore him/ push him on.
I'm hoping to get them a weekly lesson so they can bond/learn together. Do you think this would help?
Also I'd like them to join pony club but I'm not sure if they're ready.
I don't want to sell him but would loan to more experienced people. Getting an older pony who has been there done that is very appealing although probably will be hard to find!
What would you do? Persevere with current pony and see how they go or accept that they're not a good match and find something else that would be?
It's hard when I know my daughter wants to progress with her riding but shes getting scared and ends up in tears but at the same time she would be heartbroken if he went
Any advice appreciated

 

[Arzada]

So the girl rides him out in company, Is your daughter riding him out in company too?

 

[tinycharlie]

She has done a couple of times, she gets quite nervous and i do put her on lead rein if she asks. The girl we have had has been schooling him, riding him for us and teaching my daughter back in the summer after school.

 

[WelshD]

If the pony is an appropriate size with a good temperment I would be tempted to send him for schooling then get your daughter some lessons

If she is literally overhorsed I think I would loan or sell and find something more suitable

 

[tinycharlie]

He's approx 12-2 hh, if anything she'll be outgrowing him in the next year or so. Not sure if I can afford to send him for schooling but will probably go the lessons route. I may leave him to settle and winter out for a bit and get my daughter riding something else for a while to increase her confidence

 

[Tobiano]

Personally, I would loan out the pony and find something that your daughter feels more under-horsed than over-horsed on. Even if it is an old pony and you think it isn't really capable of doing what your daughter wants to do, in my humble opinion she will progress better in this situation than with a pony that she is scared of.

The alternative, which I did for my daughter who was older at the time, 17, but scared of her rather large and unpredictable horse, was to send him to our local riding school on schooling livery, and send her there too to ride him under instruction around 4 days each week (he stayed overnight, she didn't!). She really got her confidence back on him and enjoyed riding him but still only in the school. It was not a cheap option though!

Good luck, whatever you decide.

 

[wills_91]

If she is going to outgrow him soon I'm assuming you will then sell so getting him schooled on will still be a benefit to you if it makes him more sell able. Sounds like your daughter is loosing her nerve a wee bit, I think in your shoes I would be looking for something older & more settled & finding a different home for current pony.

 

[Polar Bear9]

To be perfectly honest I would sell him now before her confidence is gone forever and buy something much older and more experienced. It's obviously not the ponies fault and I appreciate you don't want to sell him but she will outgrow him sooner or later anyway and confidence is a very fragile thing

 

[tinycharlie]

Thank you for your replies, very helpful comments x
I don't think I can bring myself to sell him as I would always worry where he might end up
I will loan him though, sooner or later.
He would be great for a confident experienced rider who could give him confidence as that's what he lacks and my daughter can't give him.
A lot to think about x

 

[Spotsrock]

To be perfectly honest I would sell him now before her confidence is gone forever and buy something much older and more experienced. It's obviously not the ponies fault and I appreciate you don't want to sell him but she will outgrow him sooner or later anyway and confidence is a very fragile thing

This as he'll shortly be outgrown. U can't keep them all, loan horses tend to come back short notice with lots of expensive problems. I would sell, carefully, as you obviously care, then look for an older quiet 13hh pony she can learn to trust and enjoy for a few years.

 

[chilledoutpony]

If she has lessons on him that would help

 

[Theocat]

Why not start with lessons? Two a week if you can afford it would make a huge difference. If that doesn't help, I'd sell him on now and get something older and a bit bigger that she can have a couple of years with. I wouldn't personally plan on keeping him forever - you could easily be looking at 25 years; better for you to focus on your daughter's needs and a new family to focus on his

 

[laura_nash]

Personally I would replace him with something older and more experienced. Lessons etc. will help but it is likely by the time they start to really gel and get on together she will have outgrown him. I think loaning is great if you need a year or two (e.g. for having a baby) but not really a permanent solution and you don't want them to suddenly come back years down the line. If you are more interested in the home than the price, you could look at Horses4Homes.

 

[FfionWinnie]

Finding something more reliable than a spooky 4 yr old is not going to be difficult. Young horses and nervous riders never work. I would get her something she can enjoy. I had a youngster for my daughter to move on to but her ability was far greater than I expected at the age she is, and she was not going back on the lead rein so I bought the right pony and turned the youngster away (because she is pretty much worthless at the moment anyway!). Once my daughter has a few years experience under her belt with the sensible pony she can finish the youngster off and sell her.

 

[fawaz]

Sell him get an old steady pony who will give your daughter confidence. Why keep forcing her to ride something she is scared of? All you will succeed in doing is ruining riding for her as she will start hating it. Don't live through your kid, it's you who wants to bring on young ponies not her.... She just wants to get on and have fun for a change!

 

[ponydi]

Sell - a pony that size is soon outgrown and you'll have to keep rehoming him every couple of years. If you persist chances are that when you want a bigger pony for your daughter she will say "no thanks Mum" and take up netball/embroidery/boys (delete as appropriate) instead

 

[Shay]

Young ponies and young children seldom mix - even with a very experienced parent. If you are emotionally committed to this one then place him on loan or send him for schooling whilst you loan something much older and more experienced for your daughter to gain confidence on. If not then he is better off sold to someone who can produce him well (not that you can't - just that he isn't the best for your daughter right now...) and turn him into a good all rounder. It might be worth speaking to your local PC DC and see if there is something suitable to loan for a while? Or as another poster has said finding something better for confidence than a 4 year old is hardly a difficult prospect! I'm a mum too, and my daughter has had her crises of confidence over the years (She's 15 now and started riding at 3, competing at 5) My heart goes out to you.

 

[tinycharlie]

Thanks all
I've put a couple of adverts up offering him on full loan, it's making me cringe a bit though as I know it will upset both of us and I don't know if it's the right thing.
One thing that puts me off is that back in the summer they were doing really well together, she had her first canter on him and jumped a tiny jump, he was hacking out brilliantly and my daughters confidence grew.
Then he had a sore back /pelvis/shoulder and saw the chiropractor. he bucked her off then and since he's been better he's bucked her off a couple of times through feeling good and a bit full of himself.
They're good times makes me want to keep them together and go the lessons route, that's probably my heart talking and then my head says get something more suitable.
The thought of getting something older and bigger is exciting as i could ride it too, well, after losing some weight anyway! But I'm only 5ft 4 so something around 14.2 would be fine for us both.
I may consider schooling livery or seeing if a riding school might take him on, he just needs a confident rider and a bit of schooling /work consistently and he would be great

 

[Luci07]

Long time ago, I remember reading a book by (I think) someone like Harvey Smith. He bought his sons "proper" ponies and scared them so much they went right off ponies altogether, He sold the ponies and bought a donkey. My neighbour bought a 4 year old exmoor for their very young daughter. They were experienced horse owners and rapidly realised that a calm exmoor might be very different with a capable adult versus a small child. The pony was swapped for an elderly riding school pony who looked revolting. Mr Jones, as he was called, blossomed into an extremely handsome welsh section b and one of my favourite memories is that of watching the small daughter walking her pony down our lane.

Sell the pony and contact something like the ponyclub for an elderly pony who wants a quieter life and one whom your daughter will enjoy.

 

[PollyP99]

Thanks all
I've put a couple of adverts up offering him on full loan, it's making me cringe a bit though as I know it will upset both of us and I don't know if it's the right thing.
One thing that puts me off is that back in the summer they were doing really well together, she had her first canter on him and jumped a tiny jump, he was hacking out brilliantly and my daughters confidence grew.
Then he had a sore back /pelvis/shoulder and saw the chiropractor. he bucked her off then and since he's been better he's bucked her off a couple of times through feeling good and a bit full of himself.
They're good times makes me want to keep them together and go the lessons route, that's probably my heart talking and then my head says get something more suitable.
The thought of getting something older and bigger is exciting as i could ride it too, well, after losing some weight anyway! But I'm only 5ft 4 so something around 14.2 would be fine for us both.
I may consider schooling livery or seeing if a riding school might take him on, he just needs a confident rider and a bit of schooling /work consistently and he would be great

Where are you based? A riding school in gloucestershire has just announced its closing and its full to bursting with fat little older ponies who've spent their lives hacking out and schooling with tiny novice riders. Might be worth contacting them

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

To be perfectly honest I would sell him now before her confidence is gone forever and buy something much older and more experienced. It's obviously not the ponies fault and I appreciate you don't want to sell him but she will outgrow him sooner or later anyway and confidence is a very fragile thing

This.

 

[tinycharlie]

We're in Herefordshire so not that far from there, what is the name of the riding school? X

 

[oldjumper]

Beware you're doing it for child and not yourself. I'd sell pony if it wouldn't upset child and see if she wanted to carry on riding on something else. If so, borrow one til you're sure it's what she wants to do. Childs happiness and safety paramount - even if it doesn't include ponies!

 

[springtime1331]

The only fly in the ointment so to speak is that it is difficult to find confident experienced riders for a 12.2hh. But if you can find one, it would benefit your daughter enourmously. When I was 9, many moons ago, my mother helpfully bought me a just broken 12.2 section A which destroyed my confidence no end. We sold her on to a mounted games family and bought an ancient new forest who I adored. I remember being very upset initially that the section A had gone, but forgot about her in minutes when I had a lovely reliable pony I could actually enjoy. So go for it! Your daughter is only young once and it is no fun at all to being bucked off regularly. If you can't find a loan home, could the pony go as a companion or be turned away?

 

[tinycharlie]

I wouldn't mind him going as a companion. I know my daughter would be upset if we sold him, she's told me she doesn't want him sold, she does love him very much as do I but I want her to be safe obviously and i want him to have a good education, something we are struggling to provide. She's pony mad and she is attached to charlie but Im not sure she trusts him

 

[happyclappy]

I think you need either to sell him now, and got an older safer pony, been there done that type, before your daughter completely loses her nerve. Sending him away and getting a loan pony would also work, and sending your pony to somewhere he can become more secure and understadning himself, of what is required of him and what is safe for him. It sounds as if they both need some safe and happy furthering. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

 

[PollyP99]

We're in Herefordshire so not that far from there, what is the name of the riding school? X

Pm'd you

 

[Sam_J]

To be perfectly honest I would sell him now before her confidence is gone forever and buy something much older and more experienced. It's obviously not the ponies fault and I appreciate you don't want to sell him but she will outgrow him sooner or later anyway and confidence is a very fragile thing

Another one who would do this. I also have an 11 year old daughter who has been riding since she was 3 and had her first pony when she was 5. I would not put her on a youngster - I tried it when she was younger and fortunately realised my mistake very quickly. Move your pony on and find her something she can relax and have fun on.

 

[buddylove]

Hi
Can you let me know the details of the riding school as well please?
Thanks

 

[tinycharlie]

Pm'd you

Thank you xx