Am I Crazy To Consider...

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Am I crazy to consider coming back to horse ownership...?

I lost Jacob in 2020 and sold up, I loved horse ownership but I was feeling the struggle of finding a good DIY yard to be on, I wasn't able to build any savings whilst having a horse which meant my car was breaking down every 5 minutes, and I couldn't ever afford to get transport so my options were limited to go out and have fun which I was always desperate to be able to do, plus whilst Jacob was brilliant I could only ever afford a horse with serious compromises meaning he was always 50/50 as to whether he would be well at any given time. So with my new relationship and getting to the age where I needed to get responsible and save for a house, it felt like the right time and I felt confident that I would be able to find something else to fill the sizeable hole in my life.

Well, I couldn't and still haven't. I have no other real hobbies I enjoy (not through lack of trying), I still am on all my horse related Facebook groups, I still come on here, I still get that same little girl excitement every time I see anything remotely horse related, I tried sharing/part loaning and it just wasn't the same and long story short, I am really fat, depressed and bored.

That being said, I also see everyone on here struggling with turnout, lameness issues, how expensive everything has become, lack of time, the short evenings in winter, the rain and wet - plus being please to finally be out of it and people giving up and I think - am I mad to consider it?

I have saved up everything I was aiming for for the house (we just need to get one to actually get to the point of completion now!), I have an emergency fund, I have doubled my salary since 2020 and have just been notified that it will go up to triple my 2020 salary due to a restructure that is coming in the next couple months at work, I also commute a little further and have hybrid working meaning that I can go on part livery a little further from home somewhere on my commute and tie it in there which vastly opens up my options. However, I am very busy with work so there would be a day a week I probably wouldn't make it down, and OH does want to think about trying for a child once we are both 30 (in about 4 years' time).

Wisdom of HHO, what are your thoughts?

 

[ponyparty]

Short answer… Yeah I think you’re crazy… but then, so am I

I’m in a similar situation. Considering taking the plunge again once my son starts school in September.

Whilst I long for my own horse again, I’m also worried about: livery - turnout/way of life for my horse, finding a decent farrier, potential for buying a crocked horse and the related heartache, the drain on time and/or money… the list goes on.

But I feel I have lost part of myself and I’m drowning somewhat without a horse to keep me going. Spending way too much time and money in the pub at the moment at least I wouldn’t be able to afford to (or even want to!) do that with a horse..! I mean, technically it could even save me money… right?

Anyway, welcome to the crazy club, I look forward to your horse-search thread

 

[KittenInTheTree]

Buy another horse and enjoy your youth. You can always choose to sell or loan them out if you do decide to start a family in the future. Also, please stop adulting so well, you are only in your mid-twenties, and it makes those of us who are much older look bad by comparison!

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Yeah buy a horse your still so young go for it

 

[Caol Ila]

I think most people here will tell you to get a horse.

And remember that any forum will naturally have bias towards the hard parts of horse ownership because that's what people log in to write about. Either with questions about fixing a problem or just wanting to vent about their problems. There are a few 'happy' threads, like the weekend ones in Training and Competition, and the 'backing three and four year olds' but for the most part, people don't use the internet - not just HHO - for 'I had a great ride today.'

 

[stangs]

a) Find a good yard before you even consider looking for a horse.
b) What exactly are you wanting - could volunteering for a rescue/getting riding lessons/riding holidays fill that hole instead?
c) The question I should have asked myself before I got into horse ownership: are you mentally stable enough to cope with a lame horse?
d) What does your OH think; could having a horse put a strain on your relationship?

Ultimately, you've had a horse before. You know what it's like. If you think you're in the right place/headset to buy another, go for it.

 

[Goldenstar]

The best time to enjoy horses is when you are young just do it .

 

[Gloi]

Yeah get the horse. Persuade your OH he needs one too.

 

[cauda equina]

If things are going well folk will just be out there enjoying it; just because people mainly post on here about problems it doesn't mean everyone is having them

You know how HHO loves a horse search - what are you looking for?

 

[Horseysheepy]

Life is short, you'll possibly regret it if you don't go for it!

 

[Jenko109]

You sound like you need it.

I don't need it. Once the current one dies, I will never get another horse again.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Get the horse

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Thanks all, I am an overthinker by trade so you've all made me feel better about the idea of it. My non-horsey family all make me out to be a complete nutter for even considering it! It's very true what has been said that people will write about the hard times, but not necessarily all the good - half the reason I love quietly following the photo thread, as I get to see everyone's highlights. I think I will regret it if I don't at least try again, especially as my body isn't one that will function well into old age!

a) Find a good yard before you even consider looking for a horse.
b) What exactly are you wanting - could volunteering for a rescue/getting riding lessons/riding holidays fill that hole instead?
c) The question I should have asked myself before I got into horse ownership: are you mentally stable enough to cope with a lame horse?
d) What does your OH think; could having a horse put a strain on your relationship?

Ultimately, you've had a horse before. You know what it's like. If you think you're in the right place/headset to buy another, go for it.

I was thinking that the yard first was going to be the good way to do it. I am too fat/heavy to be able to do riding lessons/holidays and the thought of going on one just isn't appealing enough to get up and out and about - it's a vicious circle with feeling a bit blue because I have nothing to work for if that makes any sense!
OH is thankfully incredibly supportive, he met me when I had a horse and came through the ups and downs with me - he isn't remotely interested in them, but he is very much of the 'if you can afford it and it makes you happy, then do it!'.. Plus he works shifts which include evenings/weekend days at times and has lots of interestes/is more of a social butterfly than me, so won't miss me if I am out a lot

Buy another horse and enjoy your youth. You can always choose to sell or loan them out if you do decide to start a family in the future. Also, please stop adulting so well, you are only in your mid-twenties, and it makes those of us who are much older look bad by comparison!

This made me laugh! What a kind thing to say, thank you.

Short answer… Yeah I think you’re crazy… but then, so am I

I’m in a similar situation. Considering taking the plunge again once my son starts school in September.

Whilst I long for my own horse again, I’m also worried about: livery - turnout/way of life for my horse, finding a decent farrier, potential for buying a crocked horse and the related heartache, the drain on time and/or money… the list goes on.

But I feel I have lost part of myself and I’m drowning somewhat without a horse to keep me going. Spending way too much time and money in the pub at the moment at least I wouldn’t be able to afford to (or even want to!) do that with a horse..! I mean, technically it could even save me money… right?

Anyway, welcome to the crazy club, I look forward to your horse-search thread

It sounds like you are in exactly the same frame of mind as me, which is actually quite nice to read - I'm not even that keen on the pub, I honestly just hermit and read and go for the occasional walk when the eather isn't naff (so OH will join me).

If things are going well folk will just be out there enjoying it; just because people mainly post on here about problems it doesn't mean everyone is having them

You know how HHO loves a horse search - what are you looking for?

I won't rally the horse search crew just yet, I need to get this restructure out of the way at work as it's going to be pretty hideous, then get me and OH into a house (whilst saving up some more and losing some weight) so probably looking at 6 months-1 year until I am ready to press the button. I just need to make the decision/promise to myself now so I have something to work toward/look forward to. Otherwise my brain isn't always my best friend and likes to get in the way.

 

[Above the snowline]

Yes you’re crazy - all horse people are. Yes get a horse - you are only young once. The rollercoaster of horse ownership isn’t all bad and all work and no play isn’t healthy.

 

[JBM]

You could try full loan a horse for awhile and see how it goes for you? Like a trial run? There’s a lot more horses for loan now with people struggling a bit
But I always buy the horse early twenties with 3 so..buy one and join the crazy side again

 

[Upthecreek]

Get a horse now. Once you’ve got kids you’ll always have reasons not to get one (less time, less money etc.), but if you’ve already got a horse when kids come along you make it work. And having a horse is a great escape from kids to get some time to yourself if you don’t have any other hobbies.

 

[MuddyMonster]

Just do it, if you can.

Yes, it can be heart breaking at times and it can be tricky to balance horses, life and other hobbies at times. It can be stressful sometimes & a few curveball can be thrown but generally the good outweighs the bad the majority of the time (and life can throw non-horsey curve balls anyway).

But I ditto that the majority of posts on here are about problems or questions and not very many people (myself included) would start a post to just say, had a lovely hack in the sunshine, pottered about a bit on the yard, all going well & enjoying horse ownership - which is more indicative of my horse ownership experience than it all going wrong, all the time. I mean, maybe we should start these posts for balance

But if it'll make you happy, do it. Life is too short to not do something just because there's a possibility it might go wrong in an unspecified way, on an unspecified date in the future in my opinion.

 

[BSL2]

Four years isn't long, if planning a family. Then take off a year to prepare to buy horse, that's three years and then possible major life changes. Why don't you look for a share? I know it's not the same as total ownership but maybe a way to get back the lifestyle until a family comes along, when you can reassess what you'd like to do.

 

[Peglo]

I think this place can feel like the opposite of SM’s. On here everyone is looking for advice for problems whilst on SM people make out their lives are perfect and ‘look at me’. And then reality is somewhere in the middle where problems arise but really seeing our horses everyday is awesome, even when we have problems.

I’ve lost 2 horses in 9 months and had a hell of a lot of stress with them. And spent a fortune on the care of elderly girls. I’m also not riding Tali at the moment so it’s not been all sunshine and roses and not had a particularly easy ride recently but I love it and even the heartbreak is worth it.

I think you should get the horse!

 

[Cloball]

I just went for it after years away, not being able to find good regular lessons or sane loan/share horse, not being very fit and needing to lose weight. I could have done with more savings yes but I have enough, I could do with a new car true but fixing mine is cheaper than a second hand car ATM and I'm finally back up to what I was earning prior to our move.

I'm much fitter, feel fresher, gone down a dress size, found a fab yard and have a fab wee pony. It's not been all perfect I have confidence wobbles and my car continues to break but fitting everything around work has been easier than expected. Who really needs to watch that much telly .

Preface I don't want children, just more cats and houseplants.

 

[SEL]

Even the wet miserable cold days worried about a lame horse are better than the days without a horse in them.

 

[TPO]

No, run for the hills and save your sanity

Since you're clearly going to ignore that, then I reckon you're in the best possible position to buy again.

You're financially secure; you can afford part livery and assistance when required. This, too, will enable you to have "days off" from the yard, which can only help sanity levels.

Money also means you can avoid the majority of horse ownership horrors like dealing with winter am and pm in the dark and all weathers. You can turn up to a mucked out horse, tack up and go.

I know some people will take that wrong and they enjoy it blah blah. But the pressure it takes off time wise is quite something. You can actually get nor Al amounts of sleep and not worry if a meeting runs late or you're stuck in traffic or you need to be home early etc. Money gives you choices that being skint doesn't!

You're in no rush, so you can take your time to look at numerous yards and compile a short list.

Four years can be a lifetime away. Just make sure "we" want to try for kids in 4yrs, not just OH.

Tomorrow isn't promised so if you want a horse get a horse

I've said this is my last and I mean it right now. But should I want back into horses after time away I'll only be doing it if I can afford to do it "right". A good yard with no compromises on things like turnout with part/full services, able to buy what is needed when it's needed and transport/money to do what I want like clinics and what not. So yeah, I definitely think you're coming back to it in the best/ideal way

 

[Boulty]

I’d say find & buy house then find a yard you like, reserve a stable & get cracking with looking!

 

[huskydamage]

I bought a house with my OH and kept my 2 horses, budget we made at the time has gone out the window as everythings gone up so much. We did want children but have not been able to have them.
You really don't know whats coming in life so you might as well go for what you want and enjoy. It can't hurt to have an idea of yards with space near where you buy as it is getting v hard to find DIY now.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I would say no. I've been given up a year and don't miss the costs, the yard politics or the time commitment.

It's nice being able to spontaneously do something on a weekend without having to work round the horse

It's nice not fretting about money each month due to heamoraging money onto the horse

Another reason I gave up, bar the finances was in a couple of years time I'd like to try for a baby all being well. I knew I couldn't afford both given children are the only thing that makes horses look cheap. Will you be able to afford both? Will you end up wanting to spend more times having time with your family and child's activities but feel bound by the horse? The big question someone out the equation with no emotion either way put to me, on showing how much I'd save each month, followed by each year in not having the horse was "if you kept on with horses and were unable to put aside the money you were having to put on the horse, would you resent it". When my answer was yes I knew I was at the end of the line with horses, especially coupled with the new cost of living.

 

[Squeak]

Even the wet miserable cold days worried about a lame horse are better than the days without a horse in them.

This completely. It sounds like you're in a good position to get a horse and if you change your mind a couple of months in then there's nothing stopping you from selling and getting back out of horses. I'm of the camp though that you're only young once and none of us know what's going to happen in the future so you need to do what makes you happy now.

 

[Laurac13]

Go for it! I had the best 10 years of my life buying my heart horse at 30. I’m now the wrong side of 55 and have a retired 12 year old and 30 year old companion mini shettie, it’s tough the expense and hard work I love my boys to bits and really don’t care I’m no longer riding but when they’re gone that’s it for me, you’re young enjoy horsey time whilst you can life is too short !

 

[nagblagger]

Are you crazy ?
Yes you are crazy - to think you can post a thread about buying a horse and that we would try and talk you out of it.
Sort out all your other financial commitments first, sussing out livery costs while 'tentatively' looking, then if it's meant to be, the right one will come along.

 

[splashgirl45]

If you don’t you will regret it as you sound pretty keen . Don’t waste your youth by not doing something you love, I am now old and cannot ride or take risks any more and although I had a horse for most of my adult life I regret not doing as much as I could while I was physically able… the saying “ you are only young once”. Is very true

 

[Jeni the dragon]

Get the horse! If you're missing it and things have changed enough to make it easier, definitely buy the horse!