Am I just being selfish about Sol..?

I've given up squinting at your siggie
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All I know now is you have a very gorgeous chestnut
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I really don't think I could be as strong as you if I was in that position, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you but you are far from Selfish and I am sure you will do the right thing for sol what ever that may be. Huge (((hugs))) for you.
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Thankyou Llewelyn .
I do really want to put her first (If you've followed my posts its has gone from PTS isn't an option to maybe in a few years to the realization that its going to happen soon )

I shall ring Owen in the am and have a chat about her feet
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Thanks Temsik .
I am beating myself up over it .
I will ring the vets in the morning and have a chat with them .
He meant to be coming out to inject her feet anyway so I can always talk to him then
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I really don't think I could be as strong as you if I was in that position, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you but you are far from Selfish and I am sure you will do the right thing for sol what ever that may be. Huge (((hugs))) for you.
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I'm not being strong
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I am crumpling under any teeny bit of pressure atm .
I know it will get better , just doesn't seem like it right now
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Btw the video you made of her had me in floods, it was lovely and she is soooooo beautiful. - still my fav hho horsey! possibly more so infact!
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I am going to be totally straight with you. I know you will appreciate it.

If Sol is drugged up to the eyeballs, and is still in pain - and she were mine - she'd be gone before the weekend.
 
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Btw the video you made of her had me in floods, it was lovely and she is soooooo beautiful. - still my fav hho horsey! possibly more so infact!
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Sorry
She is also my favourite (but that is no great suprise!)
She's now wonky that adds to her character
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I've given up squinting at your siggie
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All I know now is you have a very gorgeous chestnut
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LOL
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oo don't know about gorgeous thou... more like a naughty moo moo who likes to play the 'lets act like a giraffe' game when ever she feels like...
oo i do love her really thou.. !!
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I am going to be totally straight with you. I know you will appreciate it.

If Sol is drugged up to the eyeballs, and is still in pain - and she were mine - she'd be gone before the weekend.

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Thanks AmyMay .
I do appreciate it .
Am going to wait for Alan to see her tommorow .
I just feel blinkered by her being mine .
I don't know if I'm being two oversensitive and she could/would be ok with more bute in her system
 
I really feel for you, I had to make this desison last year, however I had 2 years to come to terms with the fact that if he ever got the condition that he had had surgery for again, I could not watch him in pain.

However it was still the hardest thing I have ever done, and topped off a terrible year for me! But I do take comfort in the fact that he is no longer in pain and that I did it before he lost any quality of life or suffered. But I still miss him but I know I did the right thing!!!

I hope you find it in your heart to do the right thing for the both of you!!!

Loads of hugs!!!
 
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If you only option is to have her on bute permanently then that is no life for her.

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Yes , you are right .
And Yes she will be on painkillers for the rest of her life (or so I understand it)

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You are far from selfish. Of course you are crumbling under pressure I would be to. At the end of the day you do what you feel is right for her, if she isn't herself and is in pain then you know what you have to do, but if the pain isn't apparent then that is when you need to ask the question.

Would she be happy as a companion or is she a busy horse?

It was on here someone said It better to be a month to early then a day to late and I could not agree more with that. Its going to be a difficult decisions and heart wrenching but you have obviously given her an amazing life in the time you have had her.
 
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If you only option is to have her on bute permanently then that is no life for her.

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Yes , you are right .
And Yes she will be on painkillers for the rest of her life (or so I understand it)

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that doesnt mean you cant give her a completly painfree few weeks for you to enjoy together, the volume of painkillers needed to achieve this doesnt really matter if there is no long term to worry about.
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btw i have one that i think may soon have to put on low dose of bute to continue working her, i dont think thats unfair to her in the slightest, she wants to work and if the bute enables her to do that for a few more years comfortably then thats great. I cant get up without very strong painkillers and take a relatively strong dose every day including morphine at night, no one thinks thats unfair to me to keep doing! (Im only 24 and have been like this since 21) Im quite happy, the painkillers stop the pain and let me get on with life as much as poss, thats what they are for!
 
Is she still lame?
In 90% of cases, lameness is down to pain, horses wouldnt hobble if it didnt hurt. Last time I saw pics of her, she had lost alot of muscle and was looking weak, that to me would suggest her unable to be properly mobile, as with the care I know you give her, she should look alot better than she was.

Do you want to leave her for months and watch her steadily decline (specially if she is surviving on pain killers) or remember her as your Sol? Unless she can live happily out with no painkillers, I'm afraid I would be of the same thought as Amymay
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perhaps i wasnt clear, im not suggesting that it is a good solution to have her on painkillers long term, i dont believe this is fair in Sols case either. she cant continue working so quality of life is not there and her condition is worsening, but i do think a couple of weeks at a higher dose to make her painfree is sensible. let her have a few good painfree gallops in her field and ishy have her happy painfree sol back for a few weeks to say goodbye and create some final happy memories.
 
i actually agree with amymay, once i have decided that its time for mine to go, they will be gone asap. There's nothing worse than waiting for the vet or knacker to come out in few months time as you inevitably end up putting it off for another few months, i always have said with mine that if they are put in a situation where they won't return to full work or would just be field pets they would have to be gone (they aren't the sort of horses that cope without work). The horse has no idea what's happening anyway, and so it makes no difference when they go to them as they have no fear of death, but they do know pain, and a horse thats lame is in my books, in pain (unless mechanical lameness which is possible). I think by prolonging it your won't be doing yourself or her any favours, but you need to be 100% sure that she isn't going to get any better. Bute has its place and i like to think about it as paracetamol, but if she's still not enjoying life on the bute then its time to let go.
 
ISHY as an anient old crone, who has had to make this decision a fair few times, may I be allowed to quote the old nag's mans saying?
Better a week too soon than a minute too late
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If she is in pain, even with bute then she is not paddock sound and is unlikely to be so.
So sorry about this, we buy a friend and the joy we get and also the heartache, everytime we buy a horse.

With the young ones, remember that the brightest stars burn out quickly, as they burn too brightly to shine for long.
 
I know you are having a hard time letting go here, and I know you want to try everything you can, and I know you are hoping for some miracle recovery ... but
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... you know nothing will come of this delaying.

If she were mine, there's no way I would put her through all of this just for me. If there was any hope, then yes I would hold off, but there isn't, and you know that. I'm so sorry but you have to do what is right for her and not you.
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Hi Ishy

I have to say I agree with Yorks and Tia - and anyone else who has said.

My one biggest regret was ignoring the fact my dog was dying and trying selfishly to 'wait and see'. The day I took that dog to the vets and he passed a massive weight lifted from my shoulders as I knew I'd done the right thing.

As Yorks says, it is far far better to lose an animal whilst it is relatively happy and go on a good note than to wait and have to PTS a horse who isn't themselves anymore.

Strength to you Ishy although I think you already have it deep down. x
 
take a step back, think that she is not your horse, take a breath.
i agree with amymay, if she was not your horse and you had to give an opinion to someone else what to do with a horse who is in pain still, and has all these other issues what would your answer be?

i know at the moment you are trying to come to terms with all this information, esp in relation to how young she is. but is she going to get better within the next 5yrs? will she have to stay on pain relief for that length of time?

equestrian fairy suggested 24hr turn out is there no where you can try this even for a temp solution? this might improve things but i feel you are only putting of the real solution.

i would love to be able to wave a wand and make things ok, but even with the technology we have to today it is not going to happen.

sorry to be blunt and direct, but i always think if the phrase "better a day early than a month too late"

give you self a big hug, have a cup of tea then think of the first question i asked you
 
ISHY - this is such a hard decision and I really feel for you, as others have said a life on drugs is no life for a horse. I made the decision with mine that he would go out 24/7 with no drugs (he had developed an ulcer) and if he couldn't cope he'd be let go...

If she can't be paddock sound without drugs you know its no life - I am so sorry for you she is such a beautiful girl and you are being so strong and brave!
 
What a horrid decision and I feel for you. I guess it makes it worse that she's so young. It's a shame she can't be out 24/7 as yet as I think that may give you a better idea of what her movement is like as time spent stood in a stable will not be helping.

Keeping her barefoot certainly behind maybe beneficial. It is very difficult as we're all commenting without actually being able to see how she is and what her movement's like. The thing is if it is spavin developing in her hocks then, unless the bone is actually disintegrating this could become less of an issue once the bone is fused. However if it is the navicular causing her the most discomfort and you have tried various farriery methods without luck then there is not a lot you can do unfortunately. I don't think having a horse on bute long term is a good option. I had a pony with spavin on bute for a few years and it caused liver problems and I wished i'd never had him on the bute at all to be honest.

However, at one stage he was almost crippled (following a fall) and I thought his spavin had got worse and there was nothing we'd be able to do. I did though get a physio out and, without going into full details, she sorted him out - he was so sore all over as a result of compensating for the spavin (the fall did not help) but after 2 physio sessions he was much better than he'd been for years.

It sounds like you are still deciding what to do and I can only sympathise as have never had to be in the same position. If you think you may wait til she can be turned out 24/7 how about treating her to a physio session? She and you have been through a lot, she has had many tests, been prodeed and poked etc and sometimes physio can help relieve the horse in the short term and improve blood supply to affected areas.

At the end of the day I am sure you will make the right decision for you and your horse. Have faith in yourself.
 
Oh ISHY, nobody should have to go through this
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I've tried to look at it objectively, and my head tells me that if she is on painkillers now which are not killing the pain, then things arent gonna get better for her. I have no problem with a horse needing to be on bute, even on a permanent basis, providing the bute takes the pain away (we had an old boy who was very arthritic, but being on bute allowed him to enjoy his last few years:) ) But if she is still hurting....
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Subjectively, I've put myself in your shoes. I love Ellie so, so much, and would do anything for her - if she were ill or injured in some way I would give absolutely anything to fix her. But ultimately, if my best was not enough and I was still having to watch her hobbling, unable to stand, in pain and missing her active lifestyle - I would have to let her go
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Lots of hugs to you hun xxx
 
If you were a selfish owner you would keep her alive as long as possible no matter how much pain she was in. You would try and offload her onto a horse charity, or as a companion. You would send her off to an uncertain future. You are doing none of these things, so how can you even think you are being selfish? You are the very best sort of horse owner, and there is no need to question you actions. You are emotionally involved and maybe not seeing the big picture, but IMHO you are absolutely doing the right thing - no matter how hard it is.
 
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