Am I overreacting... someone fed my horse and I don't know what.

Sussexbythesea said:
Glad she is ok OP and this is why despite being on here many years have rarely actually started a thread. Even the most seemingly innocent questions can end up with a pack of baying hounds.
Click to expand...

It's a forum. If you ask people "am I over reacting" they are going to give their opinion. Just because most people agree doesn't mean it's a "pack of baying hounds". The op was, in the opinion of most people, over reacting. It wouldn't be a forum if only one reply was allowed per topic ;)
 
No you are right but some people seem to enjoy having a go. But I think it's is for discussion not for getting kicks out of "telling people how it is" which it fairly frequently develops into. What's the point of saying exactly the same thing as the 30 people in front of you have said? Especially when it's quite personal about someone's behaviour and none of us know what that persons circumstances are really like. If you've got a different view or a new point to add then that at least leads to a discussion.
 
Which is fine, except that the forum is financed either by click through on ads or by ad sales based on forum activity volume. We need every post we can get at the moment, it's fading by the day.
 
And of couse work don't treat pets as an emergency so I owe hours... great (call centre for you).
Click to expand...

To be fair to your employers, I don't think there are many employers who would class sitting in a field with a slightly dozy horse to be any sort of emergency that justifies paid time off work.

I'm glad your horse is OK.
 
Last edited:
Achinghips said:
You are right there are some nasty responses here, typical of the behaviour usually seen from the same sanctimonious, unsupportive know it alls, on their usual quest for drama.
Click to expand...

Funniest post I've read in days :D. I trust you see the irony in what you wrote?
 
I apologise if you took my response as nasty OP - it wasn't meant that way, just in a 'matter of fact' way. I wouldn't panic if I found a strange food bowl and wouldn't want to call a 'hell of a meeting'. I would want to know what happened but if no harm has been done then I find panicking and stressing will get you nowhere, whereas asking calmly and nicely normally gets a more truthful answer.

I'm glad your horse is OK and I hope you get to the bottom of it. Hopefully if this is a one off and it's never happened before it won't happen again.


ETA: I think a sign is sensible. Will make people think twice about putting food in the stable so they may double-check
 
ycbm said:
To be fair to your employers, I don't think there are many employers who would class sitting in a field with a slightly dozy horse to be any sort of emergency that justifies paid time off work.

I'm glad your horse is OK.
Click to expand...

I'm glad your horse is OK too, but also agree with the above.

FfionWinnie said:
It's a forum. If you ask people "am I over reacting" they are going to give their opinion. Just because most people agree doesn't mean it's a "pack of baying hounds". The op was, in the opinion of most people, over reacting. It wouldn't be a forum if only one reply was allowed per topic ;)
Click to expand...

Precisely.
 
Sussexbythesea said:
Glad she is ok OP and this is why despite being on here many years have rarely actually started a thread. Even the most seemingly innocent questions can end up with a pack of baying hounds.
Click to expand...

It wasnt an innocent question though was it! The OP was all up for jumping on people which was a total over reaction. They asked the question got answers they didnt like cue further over reaction. Sorry its a forum DQ or what!

I would like to think most sensible people would spend their time trying to contact those that know what happened and could make a difference rather than having to ask the question of a load of strangers who dont know the story then act all upset when people tell them some home truths.
 
Last edited:
When on a previous yard first in fed, the buckets were outside the stable, to shut up the overweight on a diet so no breakfast in a bowl one (he kicked the door a LOT) I often put one of my buckets in with a handful of hay in it just so I had something to put over his door at the same time as everyone else's horses! It certainly stopped the door kicking. Don't panic!
 
Achinghips said:
You are right there are some nasty responses here, typical of the behaviour usually seen from the same sanctimonious, unsupportive know it alls, on their usual quest for drama. To me, you sound like a very careful and responsible owner, aware of your horses needs and frustrated with interference. There is nothing wrong with that. Glad your horse is good and you have made YO aware. If any of my liveries fed other liveries horses without an owners permission, I would intervene and I would also thankyou for bringing it to my attention.
Click to expand...

Perhaps not if the first interaction about the problem was 'what the hell is going on'
This approach may feel good to owner but the thing with it is it rarely works .
The staff clam up protecting their owner and the YOer if she's ok thinks ok we screwed up but what a madam if she a bit hot to trot herself it can end heavens knows were.
Having a horse on livery and getting the best care for it is achieved by being watchful and reasonable and nice and kind ( even if your only appearing the last two )starting the first interaction about a minor problem in the 'what the hells going on ' setting simply does not work .
And the sign is a good idea OP .
 
ycbm said:
Funniest post I've read in days :D. I trust you see the irony in what you wrote?
Click to expand...

I doubt it !

I do find it amusing when those so high principled only come out with this sort of message to back up somebody else rather than showing off their conviction by being the first.

Anyhow you are correct there used to be many knowledgeable horse people on here who now dont bother because of the 'we dont like what your saying drama squad' even though its a public open forum! It is indeed dying a death the CR forum used to be the busiest when I first came on here now its like mums net.
 
Meh frank ended up with his poor doer neighbours breakfast a few times as corner box and hung outside doors, people make mistakes, and it usually doesn't help to go ape at them about it.
 
ycbm said:
To be fair to your employers, I don't think there are many employers who would class sitting in a field with a slightly dozy horse to be any sort of emergency that justifies paid time off work.

I'm glad your horse is OK.
Click to expand...
I didn't expect my employers to pay me for the morning while I looked after the collection of my horse who died suddenly. They were compassionate and understanding and although not horsey they did have experience of death and bereavement. Perhaps you could use a day of your annual leave.
 
OP - I am glad your horse is ok.

Tbh, I would be more annoyed as the owner of the poor doer elderly TB who has probably spent a fortune on feed/suppliments to keep him healthy in his twilight years and it was given to the horse next door!

Also, as others have said, on a livery yard you need to play the game. If you go around kicking off over a feed bucket in your stable, the staff go straight onto the defensive and close ranks. You need to appear calm and approachable so that the staff want to help you and feel comfortable admitting to an honest mistake. Otherwise you may find that in your time of need they will be less than willing to help you.

I am with you in that it does need to be discussed, but you get nowhere in life by asking "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON", try this approach instead - "Hi X, just noticed this bucket in my horse's stable and I am a bit worried as she is colic prone. Do you know what was in it?". Diplomacy never goes amiss and you don't need to assign blame. It is done now, all you can do is deal with the situation you have infront of you.

If you have a horse with very specific dietary requirements, in my eyes it is up to you as the owner to put up a sign on the door stating this especially on a big yard. I personally don't, and wouldn't feed other peoples horses without their permission but other people will so you need to ensure every avenue is covered.
 
popsdosh said:
I doubt it !

I do find it amusing when those so high principled only come out with this sort of message to back up somebody else rather than showing off their conviction by being the first.

Anyhow you are correct there used to be many knowledgeable horse people on here who now dont bother because of the 'we dont like what your saying drama squad' even though its a public open forum! It is indeed dying a death the CR forum used to be the busiest when I first came on here now its like mums net.
Click to expand...

Having become a recent lurker on MN, I can assure you that this forum is nothing like it. OP would have been torn to shreds with a lot of swearing thrown in!

Do give MN a go, it's hilarious and fast moving. I loved it here but it's so slow nowadays.

This kind of reaction always happens when an OP can't find enough sympathisers. Rather than reflecting and thinking 'I got it wrong', it always becomes 'you're all a bunch of unsympathetic, cruel, harsh knobbers'.

Oh and we can't all be the first to comment on a thread. This place would be finished if once one person had said something close to what you were thinking there were no more replies allowed. Are you confused as to how a forum works?
 
Damnation said:
OP - I am glad your horse is ok.

Tbh, I would be more annoyed as the owner of the poor doer elderly TB who has probably spent a fortune on feed/suppliments to keep him healthy in his twilight years and it was given to the horse next door!

Also, as others have said, on a livery yard you need to play the game. If you go around kicking off over a feed bucket in your stable, the staff go straight onto the defensive and close ranks. You need to appear calm and approachable so that the staff want to help you and feel comfortable admitting to an honest mistake. Otherwise you may find that in your time of need they will be less than willing to help you.

I am with you in that it does need to be discussed, but you get nowhere in life by asking "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON", try this approach instead - "Hi X, just noticed this bucket in my horse's stable and I am a bit worried as she is colic prone. Do you know what was in it?". Diplomacy never goes amiss and you don't need to assign blame. It is done now, all you can do is deal with the situation you have infront of you.

If you have a horse with very specific dietary requirements, in my eyes it is up to you as the owner to put up a sign on the door stating this especially on a big yard. I personally don't, and wouldn't feed other peoples horses without their permission but other people will so you need to ensure every avenue is covered.
Click to expand...

Agree with this. I would also put some additional wording on the sign to explain why your horse cannot be fed. e.g. "Please do not feed <horses name> as he/she is prone to colic and therefore on a strict diet".
 
Goldenstar said:
Perhaps not if the first interaction about the problem was 'what the hell is going on'
This approach may feel good to owner but the thing with it is it rarely works .
The staff clam up protecting their owner and the YOer if she's ok thinks ok we screwed up but what a madam if she a bit hot to trot herself it can end heavens knows were.
Having a horse on livery and getting the best care for it is achieved by being watchful and reasonable and nice and kind ( even if your only appearing the last two )starting the first interaction about a minor problem in the 'what the hells going on ' setting simply does not work .
And the sign is a good idea OP .
Click to expand...

You have been the worst of them. The OP is panicking and worried and is seeking reassurance her horse will be fine, in the form of a question about overreacting. Some of your comments are not kind or supportive. Reread what you have written. It costs very little to be kind to another person.
 
Last edited:
Achinghips said:
You have been the worst of them. The OP is panicking and worried and is seeking reassurance, in the form of a question about overreacting. Some of your comments are not kind or supportive.
Click to expand...

I have said what I think .
I have zero interest in joining in with passive aggressive politically correct nonsense that this forum is in danger of disending into .
And there was no way I was going to be cuddly with some one who thinks going on to a yard and take the what the hell is going on approach over a feed bowl were low paid people are doing what can be a thankless job so often marred by people with no self control and manners .
There you go that's what I think .
 
Achinghips said:
You have been the worst of them. The OP is panicking and worried and is seeking reassurance her horse will be fine, in the form of a question about overreacting. Some of your comments are not kind or supportive. Reread what you have written. It costs very little to be kind to another person.
Click to expand...

OP wants validation that her completely over the top reaction was warranted. You're never going to win friends and influence people be demanding a "what the hell meeting" for a misplaced feed bowl.

To some horses (cereal intolerant/cushings/laminitis etc) an extra feed/inappropriate feed may indeed be dangerous; however the OP horse has colicked - in the past - cause not stated. There isn't enough evidence presented here for the whole forum to go "ooooooh, yeah, I'd be mad too."

If OP had posted "my horse is severely intolerant of x which could cause y if he has access to it, and I've found an empty bucket in his stable, and now I'm really worried that z could happen... wwyd" she would have got completely different answers.
 
Casey76 said:
OP wants validation that her completely over the top reaction was warranted.

If OP had posted "my horse is severely intolerant of x which could cause y if he has access to it, and I've found an empty bucket in his stable, and now I'm really worried that z could happen... wwyd" she would have got completely different answers.
Click to expand...
Maybe the first time that she would find out that her horse was indeed severely intolerant of x y z, is when a feed containing x y z is mistakenly fed to her horse. Or maybe the feed contained inappropriate medication, what if the elderly horse whose feed she seems to have inadvertently got was on multiple prascend tablets per day?

Noone has agreed that the OPs initial thought of going in all guns blazing was going to be the best course of action. An initial quiet word is better. However, if it had happened to one of mine, I too would have subsquently had the horse under close observation for several hours at least, even if that meant taking a day off work.
 
Tiddlypom said:
Maybe the first time that she would find out that her horse was indeed severely intolerant of x y z, is when a feed containing x y z is mistakenly fed to her horse. Or maybe the feed contained inappropriate medication, what if the elderly horse whose feed she seems to have inadvertently got was on multiple prascend tablets per day?

Noone has agreed that the OPs initial thought of going in all guns blazing was going to be the best course of action. An initial quiet word is better. However, if it had happened to one of mine, I too would have subsquently had the horse under close observation for several hours at least, even if that meant taking a day off work.
Click to expand...

Ahh but the OP didn't ask, oh what symptoms should I look out for if she's ingested medicine or how to prevent others feeding her horse. And she could discover an allergy changing the feed herself, who would the blame fall on then? She asked if she's overreacting by intending to blow up at staff members and yard owner alike, totally "beside herself" and "can't believe this is happening". To which the answer is yes. These are not rational reactions, and likely sour someones opinion of her and stress out her horse by being all anxious simultaneously. I think the comments regarding her not suiting horse ownership/seeking therapy are a wee bit strong and uncalled for, nobody's perfect and everyone has their moments, just thinking worst case scenario will lead you to panic further rather than rationalise the situation and be calm.
 
To expose your behaviour, of course. And ensure posters understand your methods of communication.for the record, I did not ask for the post to be removed.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top