Am I right to be annoyed?

Honey08 said:
I think you should let it go. Hopefully there will be no harm done this time. If it happens regularly, then yes, think about leaving, but not for one thing that may even have been done out of kindness (more than likely). It sounds like you're building it up into a complex. I'm sure nobody is looking down on you for not having rugs...
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Yes, you're probably right. But he does have rugs; I just don't rug up in summer ;) He had a rug on today. I am letting it go! I think I just needed a rant as OH is not interested lol.
 
Am I the only one here thinking the OP is being a bit OTT?? You want to move yards because your horse was brought in and you weren't told? Have you been on livery before and are you normally this paranoid??!
 
Personally i dont like anyone handling my horses without my permission, yes i would be annoyed, especially if my phone number is available for them to ask first before they act, unless it was an emergency or the horse was stressing in the field, they should have called you.
 
Did you leave him out longer than you normally do? Like are you there at a standard time every evening and they might have thought 'oh she's running late, maybe I'll bring him in for her as she normally brings him in now anyway' or something. I know what you mean about the paranoia haha. Don't worry I'm sure it will be mentioned and all will be resolved, but I'm sure it was innocent. If they thought you were running late they might have thought you would be there soon to do hay etc.

Obviously a message would have been nice I agree, maybe they were distracted by their own horse and forgot! If I ever do anything with anyone's horse I would send them a message to ask purely for the reason I wouldn't want them feeling criticised really as I know us horse folk can be a bit sensitive :-)
 
Broke_But_Happy said:
Am I the only one here thinking the OP is being a bit OTT?? You want to move yards because your horse was brought in and you weren't told? Have you been on livery before and are you normally this paranoid??!
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Maybe I am a bit OTT but I was just annoyed to arrive at the yard with my horse inexplicably in his stable with no explanation. I don't want to move yards solely for this reason; I said it was for the general feel. Horses don't melt if they are out in the rain and if I choose to leave mine out then that's my decision. Now, I may be wrong, he may have been uncharacteristically 'stressing' in the field so in that case they needed to bring him in. This is when a quick text to say 'I've brought your horse in' or a note on the whiteboard would have been helpful. I'm all for people helping each other but I think some communication was necessary here. And please don't patronize me with 'have you been on livery before.' I have cared for horses all my life and have never presumed to mess with someone else's horse without permission. I also don't think I'm paranoid. Equestrianism seems to go hand in hand with busy bodies and my yard has plenty. Someone you've never met before standing and watching you ride in the school and then following you to your stable afterwards and watching you untack without speaking a word is not normal IMO and this is just one example of something that has happened. The thing is, my horse lived on the yard before I owned him and I am not choosing to care for him exactly as his old owner did.
 
marydoll said:
Personally i dont like anyone handling my horses without my permission, yes i would be annoyed, especially if my phone number is available for them to ask first before they act, unless it was an emergency or the horse was stressing in the field, they should have called you.
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Thanks, this is all I'm saying really. Just let me know!!
 
If you are new to this yard you need to be careful abiut how you handle tbis situation. Correct me if i am wrong but as i understand it, the worst case is that your horse has stood in a stable all day without hay or water - not ideal i agree but the horse wont come to any great harm if this happens just once! On the yard where my horse is kept we all look out for each other, we never leave horses turned out on their own and will always bring someone elses horse in if its the last out, injured or distressed, i always leave my stable with hay and water "just in case". In practice it is very rare that i would ever arrive to find my horse has been in for hours, but if it did happen i absolutely know that who ever bought her in would have my horses best interests at heart and i would find out who bought her in, and why then seek them out and thank them! If you are new to this yard you need to find out a bit more about how they work before you start getting too annoyed, if they dont know your horse they could well be erring on the side of caution in choosing to bring it in for the day, so i think you need to talk to people and get know them and give them chance to get to know you before you start expressing annoyance or it may backfire later when you may well need someone to step in and help and they daren't in case they upset you.
 
Just as a matter of interest, IF your horse had been left in the field, on his own because everything else had been brought in, and he was having a loony, skidding around etc etc and God forbid he hurt himself, who would you blame then?

its one of the unsaid rules at our yard, nothing (except one with the owners permission) is to be left in the field on their own.

All I can hear from your post is someone has done you a favour by going out in the field in the pouring rain to bring your horse in because of whatever reason, and didnt text you to let you know.

Maybe if you had left your stable ready for him so he didnt stand with no hay/water, you woulnt be feeling quite so het up about it.
 
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I do think you are ovvereacting. I would write a note to whoever tried to help you by bringing your horse in saying many thanks.

I always leave my stable made up, we all do, in case for some reason the horses have to come in - for instance the farmer may want to top fields or something & may not give lots of notice. You are new, people don't know your horse will be ok left out alone, he could have injured himself.

He will come to no harm being in with no hay or water for a couple of hours.
Maybe the person who brought him in doesn't have your number, maybe there was a mix up & you didn't get called because of a genuine mistake. You need to communicate with the other liveries so they know your preferences.
 
Look if you have everyone's number why not send a friendly text round asking who brought him in so you can thank them and find out when and why etc so that they aren't inconvenienced again.
 
casinosolo said:
Yes I think I am, but then worry I'm being unreasonable! It's just a weird situation :/
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I dont think its unreasonable to be annoyed. I'd be livid. No matter what reason they brought the horse in in the first place, the very least they could have done is give the horse a haynet and some water! I'd hate for anyone to handle my horses without my permission, especially a stranger. This is why I keep my horses at home and not a livery yard ;)
 
I wouldnt take it too personaly I think because you are new you feel that people are questioning your care?

I dont think that will be the case. I would imagine he got left out alone. There is an unwritten rule on our yard that we dont leave horses out on their own and this has been the case for quite a few yards I have been at.

You may be suprised at your horses reaction to being left alone. It is a new yard for him he may be feeling a bit insecure.

My horse is a bit of a loaner in ther herd but goes mad if left out alone. It took me hugely by suprise when I bought him in one day covered in white sweat because he had been left out alone for 30min. There was even a horse in the next field. He is usually a laid back plod so totaly out of charactor.

I would write it off this once and try and leave a bit of hay in your stable incase this happens again. Or just make it known that you would like a slice to be chucked in for you if this happens again.

I would be FURIOUS if my horse got left out stressing and would never leave someones horse in that situation. I would say it is a sign of a caring yard rather than interfering x
 
casinosolo said:
I'm fairly new to the yard so asked around if anyone knew who'd brought him in or if it might have been YO. No one knew who had brought him in and they said YO never does this.
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casinosolo said:
The thing is, my horse lived on the yard before I owned him and I am not choosing to care for him exactly as his old owner did.
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So it is quite possible the other liveries may have brought him in previously for his old owner?

I would be grateful if someone brought mine in on a day like yesterday if I was running late (though my stable is always left with hay/water just incase).

Think you need to take a chill pill, find out who brought him in and then either thank them (if he was in trouble) or politely make your wishes known. Otherwise you risk alienating yourself further.
 
benson21 said:
Still think a stable should always be left ready fro bringing in.
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My thoughts exactly. I always leave my girls stable ready so if she has to come in it's ready and that whom ever did the favour doesn't then have to run around fetching water etc, it also means that if I cannot get to the yard I can call someone to get her in for me which is useful.

There are liveries that don't appreciate any help at all and unless it was an emergency. I for one would never touch their horses, their horses, their choice and it saves me a job tbh.

My biggest fear is my girl being left out stressing as she would if left out alone and that's why I share turning out with a friend who has three as it can't happen then, but of course I always leave stable and feed ready so there should never be an issue anyway.
 
So the horse was on yard before you were. You think he's fine alone but don't know. Maybe one of the others knows he can be a twit left alone, maybe they always brought him in. Maybe it's a yard policy not to leave horses out alone. Maybe he ate all his hay and tipped over water hence bed was a mess. You seem to be very uncomfortable on this yard and overreacting about someone doing you a favour. Either way you need to learn to communicate and talk to the YO. They are the person in charge so if you have issues with people watching you, handling your horse, watching you ride then discuss them.
 
amage said:
So the horse was on yard before you were. You think he's fine alone but don't know. Maybe one of the others knows he can be a twit left alone, maybe they always brought him in. Maybe it's a yard policy not to leave horses out alone. Maybe he ate all his hay and tipped over water hence bed was a mess. You seem to be very uncomfortable on this yard and overreacting about someone doing you a favour. Either way you need to learn to communicate and talk to the YO. They are the person in charge so if you have issues with people watching you, handling your horse, watching you ride then discuss them.
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OR maybe its people being yard know it alls!

I bought my last horse from the yard where I stabled her...so she was there b4 me. I hated it, always felt like someone in a new job- folk would be telling me right, left and centre how things were done (with my horse!) the last owners mum used to bring in & turn out some of the other horses so I was just expected to step into her role!! I was left after work on a saturday night to bring in horses & do rug changes, hanging haynets and allsorts when I didnt even know the owners! I remember going home totally pissed off as I was covered in grey hair off a furry grey pony who rubbed itself all over me when changing its rug, when I I had a smooth haired chestnut ISH! One of the ponies was also a biter. I cannot believe I was just left to do all this looking back! Bearing in mind I was a first time owner and trying to get to know my new horse & trying to get to grips with my new rountine. Looking back, It was ridiculous I would never let that happen again. I bought my next horse from far away & it was a god send! No one knows her better than I do & its much more enjoyable that way.We do things my way & know one has the right to question my choices. OP, if your gut feeling is an unhappy one- leave a note on notice board or something saying thanks for bringing in but next time leave him/her out......you need to lay down ground rules now. We pay too much for our horses not to get the utmost enjoyment out of them & the yard.
 
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Having read all of your thread I initially thought that you were overreacting to someone trying to help you, but hearing that your horse already lived on the yard before you bought him and that it's only you who is new I think I understand it a bit better.

Personally I wouldn't want to buy a horse and then keep it where the previous owner did. Inevitably comparisons will be made and people will be watching, that's just the nature of it. Maybe previous owner didn't want to sell but had to for financial reasons and is now worried about the horse and asking others to check on it. Understandable from their point of view but extremely annoying from yours.

If this had been an entirely new yard for both of you I think you might have seen it slightly differently but as things are I would tell the people you see that you're grateful that your horse wasn't out in the worst of the weather, to keep the peace and try to be seen as agreeable, and then have a look around for other yards. I'd hate to be somewhere that everybody else thought they knew my horse better than me, especially whilst struggling through the getting to know each other phase, and I think you'll be happier somewhere new with a little less pressure on you both. Good luck.
 
You don't know how long he was in for, they may only have got him in an hour or 2 before you arrived?

I understand how you feel as this happened a lot at my old yard, however no one brought any horse in and just left it there without food and water and I highly doubt the person who brought your horse in did either.

They probably gave him a bit of hay and topped his water up but he ate the hay and drunk the water.

I think I would just let people know that you are grateful to whoever it was that brought your horse in, but in future could they please ensure he has hay and water. In future I would also leave a haynet by the stable and his water topped up to half way just in case.
 
God, some of you are right sanctimonious vipers! As if you're trying to imply the OP has a mental condition for being rightfully annoyed. I'd be truly p. o. Having 'good intentions' doesn't make an action justified. It's DIY livery, not DIYUSOBGTF livery (Do it yourself unless some other bugger gets there first). OP: I'd just leave a note asking for him not to be handled by anyone unless specifically asked or if it's an emergency to text or ring you.
 
Being the miserable git that I am, I would suspect another livery thought it would be better for your horse to be in because of the weather. This sort of thing used to happen quite often on a previous yard of mine everytime it rained thanks to people confusing horses with humans. :mad: people will stick their nose in where it's not wanted. It's bleeding insulting and is basically implying that your way, is the wrong way.
 
Thanks for support Hellofrenchkitty and Tiasmum. Think we should put this one to bed now though! I posted in anger and, although I still feel I'm in the right, am over it! No harm done in long term!
 
You're not over reacting. IF your horse had got upset by having no food and banged the door/injured himself I bet nobody else would be offering to pay vets bills. If he injured someone bringing him in I'm guessing they would have been straight over to complain. If I had brought anyones horse in, particulalry a new person I would have teh courtesy to leave a note/txt them/ring them. I wouldn't do it in the first place as everyone has their own management system. Perhaps a note saying please could anyone let you know if they are bringing him in as he is prone to ulcers if left in? Have you asked the YO?
 
Hellofrenchkitty said:
God, some of you are right sanctimonious vipers! As if you're trying to imply the OP has a mental condition for being rightfully annoyed. I'd be truly p. o. Having 'good intentions' doesn't make an action justified. It's DIY livery, not DIYUSOBGTF livery (Do it yourself unless some other bugger gets there first). OP: I'd just leave a note asking for him not to be handled by anyone unless specifically asked or if it's an emergency to text or ring you.
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who has implied that exactly? :confused: no one has said she doesnt have a right to be annoyed.

you sound a barrel of laughs to have around.
 
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lula said:
who has implied that exactly? :confused: no one has said she doesnt have a right to be annoyed.

you sound a barrel of laughs to have around.
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Read the thread. A series of posts a long the lines of 'you're over-reacting', 'waaaaaaaaaaay too paranoid', 'you should be saying thanks to the person' certainly implies the OP shouldn't be annoyed. Paranoia is also a mental condition and I don't think it's very constructive to accuse people of it.

I apologise if you don't find me a 'barrel of laughs'; I was unaware I was supposed to be making people laugh? I was merely expressing disbelief that people were being very dismissive and nasty about a situation that is a no brainer to me. Yes, she/he was right to be annoyed. It's obvious that you shouldn't be meddling with someone else's horse, however good your intentions.
 
benson21 said:
Just as a matter of interest, IF your horse had been left in the field, on his own because everything else had been brought in, and he was having a loony, skidding around etc etc and God forbid he hurt himself, who would you blame then?
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Firstly, the thought of my horse having a 'loony' makes me chuckle. He's so chilled out he's nearly horizontal. He might 'skid around' if he could be bothered, but it's highly unlikely.

Secondly, of course I would blame myself or put it down to a terrible accident. If you are 'cleverly' trying to imply I would blame the other liveries then you need to practice your rhetoric skills as it's not very convincing ;)
 
Hellofrenchkitty said:
Read the thread. A series of posts a long the lines of 'you're over-reacting', 'waaaaaaaaaaay too paranoid', 'you should be saying thanks to the person' certainly implies the OP shouldn't be annoyed. Paranoia is also a mental condition and I don't think it's very constructive to accuse people of it.

I apologise if you don't find me a 'barrel of laughs'; I was unaware I was supposed to be making people laugh? I was merely expressing disbelief that people were being very dismissive and nasty about a situation that is a no brainer to me. Yes, she/he was right to be annoyed. It's obvious that you shouldn't be meddling with someone else's horse, however good your intentions.
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yes she has a right to be annoyed - no one has said otherwise if you read the thread properly.
what i have an issue with however, is you calling posters 'sanctimonious vipers' and accusing people of implying the OP has a mental condition.
saying someone might be displaying paranoia as a trait towards a set of circumstances which the OP set out - is in no way the same thing as saying they suffer from paranoid schizophrenia or any paranoid delusional or psychiatric illness.

Therefore there is no need to start throwing insults about is there?

i see you're new. welcome to the HHo forums.
 
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siennamum said:
You need to communicate with the other liveries so they know your preferences.
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Lol, why do I?? I'm not paying them to look after my horse, they don't need to know my 'preferences'!? As someone else said, it's DIY. I don't expect anyone else to be doing anything, therefore I don't expect to have to go around telling everyone my turnout preferences!
 
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