Am I too heavy to ride??

[Lam]

I think your over-reacting a touch. There are plenty of times when it would be perfectly acceptable to comment on someones weight, but only when its actually relevant, & I struggle to see why it is remotely necessary to tell someone who is already trying to lose weight that they are overweight, & what in your opinion you think they should weigh.

You are still forcing on the "how much should be weight"
which I already realized the "ideal" or "whatever weight" cannot simply taken into account by using BMI solely from the later the posts.
and don't want to explain again and again, it seems like the message didn't pass though for what I am trying to say. Bad communication =(

However, my other intention rooting for the person who had lost a 2 stones is really a great job! That haven't been mention.

I feel so helpless.

 

[GSLS]

Lam, tbf though op didn't ask for our opinions on what her ideal weight should be, or bmi (which is incidentally not a universally good guide) or for our views on whether we think she is currently overweight. So I think its actually pretty rude to comment about it, & insensitive.

here here

 

[Lam]

here here

Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlelegs
It's not a case of whether your facts on bmi are factually correct or not, or whether your opinion is right or wrong. And fwiw, I didn't think anything you said was posted with the intention of being rude or personal, let alone bullying. I'm commenting because it comes across that you simply don't realise commenting unnecessarily on someones weight can be hurtful. As for the 20% rule, fwiw I don't follow that, with rare exceptions where that is an acceptable max, I think it should be lower.
Originally goodwill remind become unintentional hard feeling.
Sincere blessings and heartfelt cheer become nothing.
Now I understand where are you coming from, but I don't think my intention was being mean in anyways. I will bear in mind, never ever mention others' weight neither being under or over. It will be seen as unacceptable, no matter how sincerely was trying to say. Also, never ever tell others how heavy and tall you are, if you aren't prepared for other kind suggestion or comments. Just simply ask, how heavy can a horse carry or what is the optimum weight should horse carry,etc.
Somehow feel like "A staff is quickly found to beat a dog with." =(

 

[Littlelegs]

You are missing the point lam. My issue isn't your opinion on bmi or weight, my issue is the fact you think this thread is an appropriate place to share your personal opinion on ops size. Op can't possibly ask if a certain horse can carry her, did you actually read the op? She wants to learn. If she'd started a thread saying 'cc my size' or 'what should I weigh?' Or 'pics of me on an 11hh showpony' then by all means, have yourself a ball. But its plain bad manners to do so in response to this thread. It's a basic social skill.

 

[Lam]

You are missing the point lam. My issue isn't your opinion on bmi or weight, my issue is the fact you think this thread is an appropriate place to share your personal opinion on ops size. Op can't possibly ask if a certain horse can carry her, did you actually read the op? She wants to learn. If she'd started a thread saying 'cc my size' or 'what should I weigh?' Or 'pics of me on an 11hh showpony' then by all means, have yourself a ball. But its plain bad manners to do so in response to this thread. It's a basic social skill.

Littleleg, I believe in heart you are trying to telling me for my good. Otherwise, you wouldn't spent so much effort on this. Thank you indeed =)
However, in somehow I do not think I am the only who should takes the responsibility for this chaos. As the way the question has been addressed "Am I too heavy to ride?" it misconception to me. (Am I - already become personal in the question) From your point of view, wouldn't it be better to address a question like that " How much weight can a horse carry?" which is more natural, general speaking? From there, people could suggest from 20% theory or others, rather than sharing others with personal details? Still don't think I intentionally wrong because of how the question was addressed. Sorry, if you finds me as stubborn one.

 

[Pippity]

The question was 'Am I too heavy to ride?'

The question wasn't 'What do you think of my weight?'

They're entirely different questions.

When I phoned my riding school, told them my weight and asked if that was below their maximum, I wanted a reply to that question. If they'd gone on to tell me what they thought of my weight and what I should weigh in order to be healthy - well, I sure as hell wouldn't have gone on to book lessons there. (Especially if they'd referred to BMI, which was designed to class populations, not individual people. According to BMI, many professional athletes are morbidly obese! It's incredibly flawed in terms of individuals.)

Weight is a sensitive issue. Better to err on the side of being too tactful than too intrusive.

Also - please forgive me if I'm wrong - but you sound as though English isn't your first language. If that's the case, it could be that there are subtleties of language you aren't picking up on.

 

[Lam]

The question was 'Am I too heavy to ride?'

The question wasn't 'What do you think of my weight?'

They're entirely different questions.

When I phoned my riding school, told them my weight and asked if that was below their maximum, I wanted a reply to that question. If they'd gone on to tell me what they thought of my weight and what I should weigh in order to be healthy - well, I sure as hell wouldn't have gone on to book lessons there. (Especially if they'd referred to BMI, which was designed to class populations, not individual people. According to BMI, many professional athletes are morbidly obese! It's incredibly flawed in terms of individuals.)

Weight is a sensitive issue. Better to err on the side of being too tactful than too intrusive.

Also - please forgive me if I'm wrong - but you sound as though English isn't your first language. If that's the case, it could be that there are subtleties of language you aren't picking up on.

Pippity: Thanks trying to telling the differences.
There are two sides to every question.
However, I disagree some bit you said:
You asked the school: "Is my weight below the maximum carry weight to your horse?" Rather address "Am I too ... to ..."
Aren't they already shows the difference of how the questions addressed.
You might didn't read the earlier post, sorry if I get this wrong. I did admit in later, just counting from BMI alone isn't fair and I did explained about it.

Apart from the "suggestion" which made at first and realize was counted mistakenly, I did found the person who lost whatever mass is a great job.

Finally, if something people find thing that is sensitive shouldn't "share" the information. In somehow I found white lie is unpleasant. Maybe I honest to my heart, say what I think. Will try to learn the "quiet" and hypocritical.

 

[AngieandBen]

Not too sure are you being too heavy to ride.
But you are overweight (sorry, if you found it is a strong word) for your height.
You really need about 8 stone, 9 is slightly on a heavy side for 5'2
Keep going, you have done a great job to lose 2 stones.

What utter rubbish! I'm 5ft 3 and 10stone 3 and I'm a size 10, no flabby bits, just very toned. If I were 8 and a half stone I would look dreadfull, I suggest you stop looking at weight guides on the net or in magazines!

 

[Lam]

AngieandBen, read a bit further at the back

 

[Littlelegs]

There wasn't any need to tell white lies though, as my whole point is that op didn't ask for opinions on her weight or health. If you worked in a clothes shop & somebody said 'I'm size 22, am I too big to buy a dress?'. Then either a yes or no would suffice, perhaps with details of which ranges were stocked in that size, or which other places to try. You wouldn't proceed to tell them what clothes size you think they should be, or call them overweight. It's basic etiquette.

 

[Lam]

There wasn't any need to tell white lies though, as my whole point is that op didn't ask for opinions on her weight or health. If you worked in a clothes shop & somebody said 'I'm size 22, am I too big to buy a dress?'. Then either a yes or no would suffice, perhaps with details of which ranges were stocked in that size, or which other places to try. You wouldn't proceed to tell them what clothes size you think they should be, or call them overweight. It's basic etiquette.

This conversation should it end here, we have spent a good 2 pages to exchange our thoughts.

Rather keep repeating, what I am understand from your wording is: this is not a suitable place to mention about the weight, and what I have been keep trying to tell are:

1: The question was addressed "Am I...to..." which misleading or misconcept to me at the first place.

2: I didn't got the wrong idea with the BMI at the first place, I wouldn't make any silly speak.

3: "As thea saying goes, honest advice, though unpleasant to the ear, benefits conduct." (This is just a general not specific applying here.)

Regarding the white lie, I am just talking in general how am I really. That isn't really apply here.

Finally, just being honest to self. Take the apparel example you used, don't people would judge others being under/over sized? It is just depending on they whisper secretly in heart or just speak it out. Moreover, the roles have conflicts in financial and reputation interest. Staffs aren't allow to do so. Anyways, I understand you used that just to demonstrated the idea of "am I... to...".

Hopefully I can fully express myself from the wordings.

 

[madmav]

Is it just me or does it read as if these two are aggressively flirting? Just saying...

 

[Ancient Hacker]

Actually this is a bit surreal - we've had everything from the rider's weight doubling with each transition (or something) to bmi to dress sizes.

To the OP: well done for dropping 2 stone, now please find a mount who will be comfortable with you, and with whom YOU will feel comfortable, and just ride!

Edit: and ENJOY it!

 

[FionaM12]

Lam, I suspect there are cultural and language differences behind this disagreement.

It is acceptable to answer the OP's question, which was is she too heavy to ride. It is not acceptable to go on and give your opinion of what weight she should be for her height. That's bad manners.

For the record, 9.5 stone is a perfectly healthy weight for someone of 5ft 2in anyway.

 

[Lam]

Lam, I suspect there are cultural and language differences behind this disagreement.

It is acceptable to answer the OP's question, which was is she too heavy to ride. It is not acceptable to go on and give your opinion of what weight she should be for her height. That's bad manners.

For the record, 9.5 stone is a perfectly healthy weight for someone of 5ft 2in anyway.

Maybe you didn't read the bit. I did admit later 9.5 stone is a good weight for non-asian. =)

Anyway, let's finish here. Otherwise, it will go on and on for another few pages.

 

[siennamum]

Hi Lam, cultural differences aside, are you EVER wrong about anything?

 

[nostromo70]

This could descend into a case of 'having the last word syndrome'. Lets see who can last the longest without posting.

 

[FionaM12]

Maybe you didn't read the bit. I did admit later 9.5 stone is a good weight for non-asian. =)

Anyway, let's finish here. Otherwise, it will go on and on for another few pages.

That's not really the issue. The rude bit was commenting on what height/weight ratio the OP should be at all.

This could descend into a case of 'having the last word syndrome'. Lets see who can last the longest without posting.

Not me.

 

[PeckhamSpring]

I am about a stone lighter than you and ride a 15'3 Irish Hunter (finely boned though)! And we have no issues! We hunt and jump 1.10cm! As long as you aren't opting for a Shetland I think you're safe! X

 

[hnmisty]

Not too sure are you being too heavy to ride.
But you are overweight (sorry, if you found it is a strong word) for your height.
You really need about 8 stone, 9 is slightly on a heavy side for 5'2
Keep going, you have done a great job to lose 2 stones.

you are kidding right? I am 5'1", I'm a size 10, I exercise regularly (note: "exercise"- I am into ultra marathon running, I'm not talking 20 mins on a exercise bike without even breaking out a sweat). If I was 8 stone, I would have to eat a lettuce leaf a week. I would look anorexic, and I would have to have an eating disorder.

 

[helbe]

Sorry to jump on this interesting thread about weight but my sharer has bloomed during the winter and looks huge on my 15hh welsh x . My horse is being really naughty with her, napping and trying to buck im sure its because she is uncomfortable(my horse) any ideas how I can tell my sharer that she is too big to ride my horse??

 

[Crugeran Celt]

Sorry to jump on this interesting thread about weight but my sharer has bloomed during the winter and looks huge on my 15hh welsh x . My horse is being really naughty with her, napping and trying to buck im sure its because she is uncomfortable(my horse) any ideas how I can tell my sharer that she is too big to ride my horse??

'You're to heavy to ride my horse anymore, ring me when you have lost a few pounds/ stone'

 

[Pigeon]

No such thing as too heavy to ride You just need a horse that can carry you comfortably. ID types would find it easy! Also riding and stable chores are the best thing for losing weight

 

[FionaM12]

No such thing as too heavy to ride

I don't think that's true. Some very obese people are definitely too heavy for any horse to carry.

 

[Mondy]

No such thing as too heavy to ride

Nonsense. If you can't run the trip beside the horse then you shouldn't ride. The horse's back is not a weight-bearing pole, it is designed for forward motion.

I think the 15% (rider, tack, clothing) of horse's weight is a sensible rule of thumb.

 

[FionaM12]

Nonsense. If you can't run the trip beside the horse then you shouldn't ride.

That would rule out many riders in the para olympics then.

 

[Jenni_]

I'm 13 stone- here on the 16hh WB x TB I have at the minute.



I don't think I'm too big to ride so wouldn't see how you would be! (I went up to 16 stone though and didn't ride until I got back down to 14 stone.)

ETA- My ideal weight is 11 stone and I'm 5"6 any smaller than that and I look ill. I'm a boxer so I'm built to be stocky and fit, not skinny.

 

[Honey08]

Sorry to jump on this interesting thread about weight but my sharer has bloomed during the winter and looks huge on my 15hh welsh x . My horse is being really naughty with her, napping and trying to buck im sure its because she is uncomfortable(my horse) any ideas how I can tell my sharer that she is too big to ride my horse??

Its really hard, isn't it. I had someone come to try my 16h horse re sharing. I always put people on my husband's bigger horse first as he is calmer, and he wasn't happy, so I had to say that I didn't think she was right for the horse. Easy to do before you establish a share.

I think you're just going to have to politely bite the bullet and suggest she finds something a bit bigger to share, as your horse is obviously not happy. Say she "has grown a bit" perhaps?