An apology to my yard owner

Lolo

Well-Known Member
Joined
19 August 2008
Messages
10,267
I only ever post what I'd say to the person's face. I also am fairly searchable- it doesn't take a genius to know who I am, with about 10 seconds of cyber stalking!

In this instance, I felt uncomfortable reading that thread and I'm not surprised it's resulted in this. The apology should be for being rude about someone without due thought or explanation and clearly not intending to say it to their face.

Forums are not the place to vent, unless you want it to get back to them.
 

Nugget La Poneh

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 May 2012
Messages
2,479
Location
Cheshire
The horse world has small circles and they're made even smaller on the internet. I have been caught out twice (interestingly from the same thread, and about 2 different horses :rolleyes:) and have had to remove posts. I didn't say anything wrong, libellous or defamatory - but were negative about the horses and the previous owners/dealers took offence.

Bottom line is if you want to stay private, don't use the internet and certainly don't post on a forum!!

Paulag - not sure if you've done this, but might be worth asking for the thread (guessing it was the one about the dental issues?) to be pulled. While I think the YO is being a bit OTT in thinking someone is going to spend that much time and effort trying to work out which is her yard and not livery their horse with her based on your threads - it might be an additional olive branch :)
 

Nugget La Poneh

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 May 2012
Messages
2,479
Location
Cheshire
I went off and read the thread - if the OP is being honest with her comments then I think the YO needs to adjust her approach to running her yard if thats how shes treating paying clients. If the OP is whinging without justification then apology due - guess we will never know though but if I read that as a YO I would be looking in before looking out.
Glad you said this as was my initial reaction, while there are few people that will never be pleased 95% of people are normal enough that if something negative was said it is probably justified. But then I come from a hotel backround and you can't get more brutal than tripadvisor so my view on things like this are a bit skewif :D
 

FionaM12

Well-Known Member
Joined
9 August 2011
Messages
7,357
While I think the YO is being a bit OTT in thinking someone is going to spend that much time and effort trying to work out which is her yard and not livery their horse with her based on your threads - it might be an additional olive branch :)
This is an amazingly well-known forum. At both the yards I've been on, I discovered several other people who post on here. They wouldn't have to work out what yard it is, they'd already know and could very likely tell the rest of the yard if they saw insults about their YO. :eek:
 

Dolcé

Well-Known Member
Joined
1 September 2007
Messages
2,598
Location
Leeds, West Yorks
I used to have a fellow livery stalk me on here and report back to the YO if I put anything on here relating to the yard, usually embellishing and lying in a totally negative way. The last time she did it the YO asked someone else to look at the post and finally realised what an absolute nutcase she really was, she had lied about what I had said and reported that I had been slating the yard and YO, the opposite was the truth. Once it had been copied and pasted to the YO by the other person I received an apology from the YO that she had ever listened to the other livery in the first place. The horse world is very small and it is very easy for things to get back to the people you may be posting about. I always keep this in mind when I post.
 

putasocinit

Well-Known Member
Joined
3 March 2012
Messages
2,373
Paulag - dont run away and hide under another name, we have all posted things at the time in anger, frustration and only thought afterwards what an idiot they have been posting, the regular users have come to know you nondeplum and expect what type of tone your thread might have, just think next time before letting off steam.

Buy your YO a box of chocs and say you were worried about Bree you are sorry, if she isnt woman enough to accept that then she don't deserve the chocs so make sure you take them back, lol.
 

Shutterbug

Well-Known Member
Joined
29 May 2007
Messages
2,568
Really? You wouldn't be hurt and angry at being called a cow and having your staff sworn about on a public forum? :confused:
Dont know where in my post I said I wouldnt be bothered by it but yes, I would be upset to read something like that,or hear of it from someone else - who wouldnt? However I would also have to consider if my actions as a YO were the cause of a livery feeling the need to refer to me as such on a public forum, or anywhere for that matter.
 

Nugget La Poneh

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 May 2012
Messages
2,479
Location
Cheshire
This is an amazingly well-known forum. At both the yards I've been on, I discovered several other people who post on here. They wouldn't have to work out what yard it is, they'd already know and could very likely tell the rest of the yard if they saw insults about their YO. :eek:
Thats because much as we keep telling ourselves, the horse world can be an incredibly nasty place. Especially livery yards - I see posts about wanting the perfect yard, but no such place exists unless it's your own place as what is perfect for one person is hell for someone else.

That said, I like my yard a lot. There are people I could do without, but that's life in general :D
 
Joined
6 July 2010
Messages
30,828
No-one on my old yard was on here and no-one on my current yard is, I don't think. I've persuaded a mate to join (single bloke, please don't stalk him too hard!!)

Persephone advised me to get a thread removed about work as with some investigation, it might have shown who I was discussing. You just don't know who is on here, be careful what you say.

The cow comment is rude, but no way should anyone tell you not to ask for advice because that is an unreasonable and stupid thing for the YO to say. You can ask for any advice you like: don't let anyone tell you otherwise, they don't have the right to dictate to you in that respect.
 
Last edited:

Luci07

Well-Known Member
Joined
13 October 2009
Messages
9,382
Location
Dorking
I didn't read Paulas post so can't comment on what she had said.

I did have someone who used to (and probably still does) read my posts who was at my yard and report back to previous YO. She has gone now, just as well!. She commented on something I had said and then wouldn't tell me her user name. Oh well, she was odd (and if you are reading this, yes I still think that was bizarre behaviour). A friend is also on but obviously know who she is! Would not take Einstein to work out who I was but I would not post anything negative about a 3rd party on this forum. Neither will I choose to post anything that is personal to me. Regardless of someone being able to work out which yard Paula was on, this forum is really not a great place to vent on about another person as it is akin to having a bitch behind someones back. Also, very often, what is posted can be taken in a different manner from that intended. I don't know Paula personally, only on here but I would pretty much guarantee she had not thought to upset her YO deliberately. Lesson learned for all of us really.
 

Lynds

Well-Known Member
Joined
11 December 2009
Messages
417
I don't understand why don't you just apoligise in person if you feel you be
need to say sorry? Do you only communicate with YO through a forum?
 

Lynds

Well-Known Member
Joined
11 December 2009
Messages
417
I don't understand why don't you just apoligise in person if you feel you
need to say sorry? Do you only communicate with YO through a forum?
 

jhoward

feed me vino....
Joined
17 July 2007
Messages
14,792
Location
Devon
No-one on my old yard was on here and no-one on my current yard is, I don't think. I've persuaded a mate to join (single bloke, please don't stalk him too hard!!)

Persephone advised me to get a thread removed about work as with some investigation, it might have shown who I was discussing. You just don't know who is on here, be careful what you say.

The cow comment is rude, but no way should anyone tell you not to ask for advice because that is an unreasonable and stupid thing for the YO to say. You can ask for any advice you like: don't let anyone tell you otherwise, they don't have the right to dictate to you in that respect.
WHOOAHHHHH back up.. a single bloke you say? :D:D:D
 

Honey08

Waffled a lot!
Joined
7 June 2010
Messages
18,305
Location
north west
I don't understand why don't you just apoligise in person if you feel you
need to say sorry? Do you only communicate with YO through a forum?
I would think the communication and apology in person has already been done. I would think someone wants their name clearing in public, perhaps?
 

Littlelegs

Well-Known Member
Joined
25 February 2012
Messages
9,355
If you've name changed to remove any connection to previous posts op, you might want to rethink. Only your new name is now showing up on this thread.
 

WestCoast

Well-Known Member
Joined
30 June 2012
Messages
2,001
Can the moderators please close this thread as I'm sure everyone concerned would like to put this whole dreadful episode behind us. Please all respect this and do not comment further.
 

Cheeky Chestnut

Well-Known Member
Joined
7 July 2008
Messages
7,073
Location
Scotland
People vent its required although you are better saying something to the person involved rather than just name calling on here.

Sometimes these things can help though as it gets things talked about even if the outset isnt pleasant it airs things and then they can get talked about.

Everyone has called someone a name at somepoint even to themselve under thier breath, I curse other drivers for their stupidity all the time :D

OP you have apologised and thats great but apologising and still being unhappy at the situation isnt going to make you feel anybetter. Hopefully its all sorted out now or you have moved somewhere you are happy :)
 

rhino

Well-Known Member
Joined
19 July 2009
Messages
10,061
Location
Border Reiver
Is the OP paulaG? Why the name change?
She was advised to name change on the thread, so she could remain anonymous in future posts. Somehow I don't think it worked as expected...

OP - I'm surprised you haven't realised that this is an unmoderated forum. If you want the thread gone you will need to ask fatty :)
 
Last edited:
Top