An honest ad for your horse - please write here

[L00bey]

14.2hh 9 year old mare
not bad lookking but conformation leaves much to be desired. Jumps very high and subsequrntly scares rider and herself shitless. Enjoys a hack but dislikes stopping exceptional at Piaffs- especially when motorbikes go past.100% box shoe clip (except in between back legs and under tummy) leans like a bitch on the left rein. dont tie it up as it will pull back and snap or untie itself then stand there ike a plank. free to good home

 

[bhpride]

14.2hh pretty bay cob mare cheeky forward going fast and really paranoid, acts like a 4yo on hacks..think she's an Arab. Hates loading loves food and gets bad wind in summer.

 

[Baldybear]

13.2hh Welsh x Arab Gelding. Likes to eat and walk round the field. Jumps well if your kind of style is from a standstill catleaping next to the jump! Doesnt do any sort of water at all! 100& box, clip, shoe, hack, traffic, put him next to M25 but wouldnt bat an eyelid but has a fear of ants (we think or something complete inane like that).
Likes boy ponies and will lick in places that just shouldnt be seen! Could star in own porn video!
Puts up with Mares if no-one else is around!

 

[LizGooch1]

15hh nutter TB type, field ornament. Took 3 years to rehome from a charity and now i can see why!!!!

 

[Pinkwellies2]

[ QUOTE ]
16,2 Chestnut Gelding, 8 yrs, Stunning to look at, very good bloodlines, Would suit either very lazy non rider as won't load, hates being ridden, throws enormous tantrums when doesn't get own way. or suit poser who wants good looking horse to feed carrots to and decorate field.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol at this, think I have his older brother

 

[AandK]

Very beautiful TB gelding
16.3hh, Grey, 11yo. Absolute gent to handle in and out of stable, easy to catch, 200% to shoe, box, clip etc. Perfect hack although not 100% with writing on road (e.g. SLOW), roadworks signs, dock leaves that are not of the normal green colour and so on.
Perfect to school so long as there is nothing in the school that wasn’t there last time, such as mounting blocks, arena letters, jumps (note: only when doing flat work, not a problem if actually jumping)..
Total XC machine although has been known to take exception to fences decorated with fur tree branches (as discovered at Stilemans this year). Bold and honest at showjumping, or ‘skittles’ as he prefers to call it, is of the impression that the highest score counts as it does in pure dressage, would rather crash through a fence than stop at it.
Would place him in the high maintenance category due to needing shoeing every 4 weeks at approx £100 per set, requiring a large amount of hard feed to keep him looking his best and also regular visits from Uncle Vet and Auntie physio.

Any potential owners (who actually have their own home/mortgage/life, unlike the current owner) would require a six figure salary to keep him in the lifestyle he is accustomed to.
£priceless…

 

[fredthoroughbred]

Very handsome liver chestnut, 16.2hh TB gelding. Perfect to box, shoe, clip, catch etc and a wonderful xc/dressage prospect except there is no point in this as he is lame on all but one leg, has a slight pelvic problem and kissing spines. I don't know his age because the dealer lied and made everything up!!!
Absolute gent that requires more feed than any other horse on the planet and shivers if there is a slight chill in the air.

£19950 ovno Sale price does not include tack

 

[1275gta]

20 somthing Welsh Cob

Ideal for finding out if someone can ride, so could be an assett to any yard for trials etc. Has two paces slow walk and flat out trot, can keep up with most horses at canter. Jumps well as long as you can sit to cat leaps. Bombproof in all heavy traffic but scared of grit bins, carrier bags, tree stumps etc.

8 Year Old Minature Show cob

Stunning small cob, very willing as long as not before being out at grass for 6 hours. Will school but bucks continually on right rein. Clean in stable. Good to shoe once you can get him to pick his feet off floor will then lean all weight on farrier, so strong fit farrier needed. Good in stable unless he decided he will walk through you to get to grass.

Shetland

Great with kids, traffic, bites adults especailly when being led. Will escape from anywhere. Likes to play up to large geldings then diving under fences to get out of the way.

 

[Drummer]

Gorgeous and very loveable 16.1 Blue and white Irsh Cob.

Loves showing and does well if he has been warmed up for 3 hours to let off his exhuberence. Would excel in coloured classes if he had enough colour, would excel in show cob classes if he wasn't too tall.

Great for the farrier, as he likes to line his pocket with money too frequently with 'lost' shoes. 100% to load on outward journeys but likes to stay at show ground as there is more grass, so encouragment needed. Will kill you if the clippers come out and he has not had a 'fix'.

Always snaffle mouthed if you like being buggered off with across farmers fields and over obstacles that aren't even jumps. Fun and safe to hunt as long as rider has 2 hipflasks with them and will jump anything usually given them an extra 3'.
Very good doer, as he likes escaping from his stable and eating his neigbours feed and hay instead.
Annoyingly good looking and has a great ability of fluttering his eyelashes and giving big snogs if you try to tell him off.

POA

Hmm, no wonder i still have him lol

 

[Angua2]

16hh high maintenance bay gelding. perfect to shoe ( every 5 weeks without fail with bar shoes and pads), catch ( Please don't leave me in the field I like my stable) clip, box ( as long as he has the Whole trailer to himself). Total sweetheart to handle if he likes you/ is in a good mood/ you have food/is not feeling at all cranky/ is not uncomfortable. Extreamly affectionate if in the mood. Loves his work however can be like an anvil in your hand and is extreamly forward going on a hack unless the track has stones on and he is only at walk ( think princess and pea). Knows his own mind. Loves his grub especially the expensive weight gain products. Loves been snuggled in lots of rugs, hates the getting dressed part.

11.1hh grey gelding...... you catch the B****** and he is yours

16hh chestnut mare. Absolute sweetheart in all respects. tries hard to please. can get frustrated if doens't understand and then refuses to do anything. Has PMT every month.... not at all nasty just statue like although is very affectionate and likes to show it by trapping you against the wall

 

[ickelshadow]

14.1hh stunning chestnut mare, 28 years young (frequently acts as like 4YO)
excellent to school, fast against the clock (jumps at 100MPH), adores sponsored rides (so much that she cant contain herself and tries to go over backwards, demonstrates hackney paces, spins on 2 legs, reverses at speed if over taken). 100% box (trots into boxes, refuses trailer), shoe (feet only slightly deformed, but no special shoeing needed), clip (rock. has cushings), catch (trots to gate, screams head off if boyfriend leaves before her). hacks alone (very safe and steady with the occasional spook and scream for her boyfriend) and in company (prefers to be in front unless you wish for a bronco demonstration). not at all mareish, or chestnut like. honestly! good doer, absolute gannet (copies her mum), likes to be pampered and wear more rugs that the rest of the rest of the yard combined. no time wasters please

well thats how she would have been anyway

 

[hussar]

15.3 grey Arab gelding.
Thinks he's God's gift to humans. Will stand and look at his reflection long enough to be fully clipped. Good to catch provided he doesn't see headcollar. Good to shoe provided you have a tin of treacle to hand. Good to load provided he sees the carrot in your hand. Hates bridges, running water and rattly trailers passing on the road - 100yds away ... Fantastic at endurance provided there are no bridges or running water en route. Will go on for ever, especially if scared. Excels at sideways spooking without breaking stride. Wouldn't know an arena if he saw one. Superb jumper except over showjumps or natural fences. Great for rider who wants to develop their own balance and independent seat ...

 

[frb]

15.2 hh Hanovarian warmblood, 19 yo ish, 3 yo in head.
Will travel in lorry, when you can get him in, hangs himself in trailer.
Will hack alone, but may buck.
Will hack in company but will definitely buck.
Can work in beautiful outline, for everyone else but owner.
Snorts and high blows constantly.
Finds everything around him terrifying.
Very unrelaxing hack.
Shocking in traffic.
Runs on duracell.
Huge jump.
Good in all other ways.

 

[Grumpy Herbert]

Great big, plug ugly, ginger monster. Face only a mother could love, body to match. Doesn't school, jump, lunge or do anything else he doesn't want to. Will hack sensibly when there's a full moon and an 'r' in the month, otherwise forget it. Scared of pretty much everything. Hates other horses (except 'his' mare), people (except mum), dogs, cats, birds, anything breathing. Loves carrots, food, being a pain in the a*se. Has vices other horses could only dream of devising. Not half as dumb as he makes out.

Also:

Very beautiful, but demonic mare. Rider will have to sign pre-ride agreement to the effect that any injury/disfigurement/disability or psychological trauma suffered by them when riding this mare is entirely their own fault and nothing whatsoever to do with me. Comes with free great big, plug ugly, ginger monster.

Despite all this, I would never sell either even if there was anyone foolhardy enough to want them!!!

 

[chillidragon]

14.2hh 20-ish bay native x terrier mare by ASBO-by-Nyte out of HellFire Bullitt. Has taken artistic licence with her conformation, excellent ground manners in every way and will come to gate for Marmite but lunges like a kite in a gale, is highly opinionated and is forward going in the manner of a cruise missile. Two good hacking paces (slouch-halt and mach 4), deafens anything within a mile radius if separated from field buddies, comes with mismatched tack and darned-up rugs. Priceless.

 

[SouthWestWhippet]

My favourite pony ATM:

12.2hh 5yr old Exmoor pony. Ideal child's pony (as long as they don't want to ride him. or catch him). Will not tollerate any sort of rider movement on his back and will gallop off at high speed should rider lose stirrup, change whip over or attempt to scratch nose. Not suitable as a leadrein pony as is nervous of people on the ground when being ridden and will spook and take off with leaders. Likes to keep rider on toes by picking incorrect canter lead, spooking and then shooting across the diagonal. Riders who appear to enjoy these manoveours will be then treated to specialist lippitzaner style 'airs above the ground' all done at 90mph. Jumps up to about 3' but only over a 6" cross pole. Lands in gallop. Has seen fillers - the results were not pretty.

And my favourite horse...

16.2hh, chestnut gelding. 12yrs old. Good to catch, bloody nusiance if you want to catch anything else. Adorable habit of searching pockets for nuts. Bites if he doesn't find anything. Schooled himself to PSG level but only when tied up on the yard. Walk and trots in an outline but only if rider has zero contact with mouth. Prefers to canter very fast with head vertically up in the air and mouth open. Canter transition involves optional buck. Unique jumping style which consists of approaching fence at high speed and (nearly) skimming over the top in manner of grand national hurdler. Repeats this style up to heights of about 3'. First filler of the day must be approached at speed then suddenly viewed from the left (rider viewing optional from the floor). Autistic tendancies which mean he cannot be left alone, moved into a new stable, seperated from best friend, turned out in new field or in anyway exposed to a change in his routine without extreme panic (see PSG dressage moves)

And yet, they are both the most fun ponies to ride we have ATM.

The exmoor in particular has a massive fan club of older teenagers who just sit in the saddle screaming with laughter while he flies about.

 

[LeneHorse]

can't resist - these are so funny!

"genuine Irish swamp horse (on the rare breeds register). 15.2 occasionally grey mare. Text book conformation (Back at the knee, hocks like a freisian cow, no withers to speak of). Has great potential (to buck people off who ask awkward schooling questions). Needs confident handling (bites, kicks and can be a tad bargy). Good with farrier (fancies him!). Good Doer (eats everything in sight and will mug people for treats). Hacks alone and in company (but you'd better take your brave pills when hacking alone). First to try will surely buy!

 

[atot]

15hh cob type. 8yo
Hunting is her speciality. She's bold, fast, and strong willed, meaning she can keep up with the fastest of fields.
Loves jumping, bold honest jump.
good to hack in company. Fine to hack alone, although prefers company, but I generally go out alone and rarely a problem other than the slowly slowly pace for the first 5 mins.
Quirky, fun, no vices, and the best natured horse I have ever come across. Not a novice ride but I have put non horsey people on her for a potter and she is a star.
good to shoe/box/clip/catch.

 

[hedge1]

10 year old TB liver chestnut mare. Easy to do in every way, provided you do everything her way. Very pretty mare, but is convinced she would look better with three legs rather than four, as on permanent mission to rid herself of one of her limbs. Thinks rider would look prettier with broken nose, and keen to assist with this by throwing head in air at any opportunity. Loves to jump, particularly sideways. Memory like an elephant, particularly for things you would rather she forgot.

She's not all bad really

 

[jess_asterix]

Gigolo
17.1hh Oldenburg Chesnut Gelding. 14years old
Loves to work, has wondeful manners on the ground and whilst being ridden. Loves to jump and has given current rider bags of confidence. Kicks whilst putting rug on and being groomed on belly, but doesnt mean to hurt you. Runs in the stable as had hit his hips on doors with previous owner, but is a lot better now. Needs to trust you before he will go in the ring 100% WIll stand there and let my 2yo sister cuddle him all day long.

A pleasure to own there is really no point doing this as i will NEVER sell him

 

[YorksG]

15:3 chestnut Appy bold in traffic, frightened of nothing on wheels, not even drain cleaning waggon. Terrified of coloured markings on road, white stones at the edge of the road, puddles, mirrors, shadows and the 'wrong' type of sheep, oh and odd looking bushes! A very sensitive soul who believes that her saddle is nearly always going to pinch her. Will school well, if she is in the mood. The biggest tart on four legs, with a large personality and sense of humour. Incredibly affectionate and no money would persuade me to sell her.

 

[trendybraincell]

15hh wide and 15hh wide 6yr old registered Welsh Cob. Typical boring bay with two white socks, won't ever stand out in the show ring which is just as well as cow hocks, and wingalls would let him down.
Can be coltish to handle from ground, constantly trying to nibble anything, known to throw things at grooms over the door. Can't have anything loose in stable as it will become a missile, must have automatic water feeder otherwise fresh bedding required EVERY day!
Does not welcome men into his stable...ever!
Tendency to go out to field like an excitable stallion, however so easy to catch you could put him out and then bring him in 5 minutes later but be prepared to drag him in. Lives off fresh air, in fact would probably live of stagnant/stale air!
Relatively simple ride, capable of most lateral work to a decent standard, but best of luck getting him to bend to the right! Excels at medium trot, but then wants to go everywhere at medium trot. Able to collect canter but would must rather go round like an out of control tank.
Good to hack alone or in company most of the time. However good luck going past talbot farm when they are milking or having a delivery...will then turn into snorting raging stallion! Good breaks most of the time but does like to be at the front, and questionable breaks if he's having "one of those days"!!

POA

 

[SirenaXVI]

15.1 PRE (Andalusian) mare.

Does have talent but has to be in the right mood. Bold and forward going unless puddles or mud are involved when can spin and go backwards at twice the speed of light. Excellent balanced rear, superb passage, if only she would wait to be asked. Willing and helpful, thinks she knows ALL the elementary tests by heart and will take over completely if she feels you hesitate, trouble is, she does not know all the tests

Only for sale to someone who can sit absolutely straight in the saddle, this horse is like a string of cooked spagetti and will move with you, this is most in evidence during dressage tests and lessons. She is the mistress of quiet evasion and has the ability to make you look like a total numpty with very little visible effort. POA!

 

[SOB]

My lad's would be:

15h2 shire x appy gelding, probable result of genetic experiment. Loads of bone so great weight carrier, so short backed it needs to be a fat person with half a bum.
15 yrs of age but as mature as a 4yr old.
Hacks, strong in company and can be quite excitable, hacks alone and can be quite nervy. Not good in traffic or with cyclists. Schools like a pig and altough can do it is inconsistent in every way. Lovely to jump, actually no issues in this department at all other than delusions of grandure! Realistic scope of 3ft.
COPD, Claustrophobic, tendon injury, early on set arthritis.
Needs no sugar diet in order not to be a danger to himself and others.
Accident prone and what money is not drained on supplements to keep him breathing and moving will be consumed by vet bills.

Not a novice ride or for someone wishing to ride consistently/regularly.

Offers in the region of £1 or would swap for a Wii console.

 

[lilym]

14hh roan cob, good to hack in company, unless you meet lorry, bus, tractor, or motocycles, good to hack alone, unless you see the above or she feels like turning around for home...jumps high, very very high, in cat like fashion at times, good to clip provided you remember to administer a tube of sedalin and have a hefty man on the twitch, unless you are parelli trained and therefore suicidal then you could manage without! is fat so could always make a good sunday roast if you get fed up with tryi ng to ride her! i won't charge extra for the spavin, and she dishes like swimming the channel, all yours for the cost of a chinese takeaway!!

 

[burtondog]

Chunky (but not cob) 16hh gelding of unknown breeding, approx 8 years old. Excellent to hack, good on roads, sane in general but pushy, impatient and destructive at times. Late starter but flatwork coming on nicely now. forward going with nice jump. Probably not novice ride as still quite green. Covered in lumps & bumps (nobody really knows what they are???). Has been seen to weave and kick out at meal times. Best thing about him is his colour, dun/skewbald with white legs. He loves people. Doubt he's worth as much as I paid for him but I think he's fab and hope I never have to sell him.

 

[sugarnspice]

14,1 1/2 Chestnut gelding ex RS Cob with unknown breeding (just make it up if anyone asks you), 16 years old, likes to think he is still 6. Can hack out alone and in company but likes to pretend he can't. Drains all have monsters inside them that must be avoided at all costs.
Fabulous jumper when he wants to be. XC tiger, absolutely loves it, real confidence giver when he's not throwing in his infamous bucks. Can go reasonably well in the school as well, as long as you ask him rather than tell him

.
That's all as long as he hasn't decided to get his mouth around his grazing muzzle AGAIN and stuff his face (he puts on weight just by looking at grass).
Bucks like a bull sometimes, if the moment takes him he can manage to throw himself in the air every single canter in an hour and a half lesson. Yet others he will be foor perfect and you wonder what's going on.
Can be a bit bolshy, a bit annoying and a bit of a general pain in the arse. Yet you couldn't find one with more character and you can never ever be bored around him. 100% perfect to pretty much no-one but his owner (even she wonders sometimes

). POA but you'll just get the phone put down on you

.

 

[Solstar]

solo-

tapped 16.1 ex racer. 12yo, acts like an unbacked 2 yo. great looking/moves well- shame he doesnt apply himself. been there, done that, just doesnt like doing anything. doesnt hunt, box walks, jogs and generally acts like a tw*t, but will load, be shod (only if he likes the farrier) lurves clipping- likes the vibrations

great on the roads- but doesnt do off-roading. a complete one woman horse- woman must be tapped.

red-

bloody minded 15hh welsh x hackney ex riding school pony. aged 18, but doesnt show it. does everything, looks after his ma/pa, but wont load to come home or jump over 2ft6, unless out hunting, where he pulls like a tank.

i love my boys!

 

[Bess]

15'2 ex pre-novice eventer, 11 yo grey gelding. A complete gentleman, great to shoe, tack up, groom or load. Excellent to hack, school, jump or xc he really loves being ridden. He's good in traffic and will go in front or behind, but he prefers to be in front.

I love this horse, I've had him for 3 years, you would have to show me that he would have a better life with you for me to part with him. He's a great horse.

 

[SarahK]

This is fun!

supposedly 15.3hh but more like 16.2hh hanoverian x welsh cob. Somehow ended up skewbald!

8 years old but acts 3. only has to look at grass and immediately becomes fat as pig, no amount of exercise seems to make any difference.
jumps anything unless he's bored and then just knocks it all down, does dressage beautifully when he can be arsed.
terrified of water, buckets and hoses for some odd reason.
spooks at anything and everything out hacking and bolts if he has enough energy.
cannot be left alone in stable block as he tries to throw himself out of the stable if no other horses in.
is a huge tart and still thinks he's a stallion.

see horse in signature below