LucyDT
Well-Known Member
As some of you may remember, I had to retire my horse Cody early last year after he failed to fully recover from surgery (kissing spines). I went through the whole debate about what to do with him, and just couldnt bring myself to have him PTS. He is the kindest, sweetest horse I have ever met, is only 10 and is pain free unless ridden.
Anyway, a friend of my instructor who had recently imported two yearlings offered to take him as a companion for her young colt. My instructors old mare would also go as a companion to the filly and we agreed between us that if this lady had to go away or needed help, we would share it between the two of us. I had no hesitation; they have a 100 acre farm and only 4 horses (including Cody & the mare). Stupidly I did not insist on a loan agreement (she didnt want anything formal) and as she is extremely well known in our area and came highly recommended I didnt think anything more of it. It was agreed that this would work as a mutual favour and I would retain ownership of Cody, pay his vets bills and insurance and also for wormer and feet trimming he would live out all year and have access to a field shelter.
Things worked really well for a while (she took him at the end of June) but then in February she moved the field shelters out of the field and turned them into stables the horses had to be brought in each night, mucked out and turned out again the next day. She did this because she wanted to start handling the youngsters. Anyway, this was entirely her choice.
From the very start I have asked her how much she wanted for Codys feet trimming and if she needed or wanted anything for his keep. Bear in mind that this lady is a multi-millionaire with various horses stationed all over the world and money is no problem for her. I must have asked her at least once a month if she wanted anything from me and she never responded. Because I felt I should make a contribution I bought a trade pack of wormers for the 4 horses, to last them all a year, at a cost of £100. From December, when the horses were being fed more, I bought food once a month at a cost of £50 a time (to feed all of the horses young stock mix for her yearlings, 16+ for my instructors mare and bog standard pony nuts for Cody who would have been perfectly happy with Hay and a bit of HiFi). She then asked me to get more wormer (for all four horses, not just Cody) which I did at a cost of £35 a couple of weeks ago. I also pay for Codys insurance and vets bills and each time the vet as come out to Cody she has tagged on and had her horses looked out so that I pay the full call out.
I visit Cody at least twice a week, and when I went up about 6 weeks ago she told me that the colt was being sent back to Holland to grow up. I said straight away that now Cody was redundant I would happily take him home, she said that there was no need; she had all this land and the horses would be living out again soon. I had also heard through the grapevine that her farm was sold. I told her that if there was any chance that Cody was going to become homeless then I would appreciate knowing ASAP so that I could make arrangements. She insisted that the farm was only on the market for tax reasons (whatever that means!?) and that she wouldnt be moving.
Shortly after that I got a text from her saying that she was going away for a week the next day, and I had to look after the horses. No please could you, just a demand. So, for five days I looked after the three of them (colt had gone). This was the first time I had done it since the horses had been brought in at the end of Feb. She was back for a week and then I got another text saying that she was going away over Easter for 10 days same demand, look after the horses. I asked my instructor (who is extremely friendly with this lady) if she would mind helping out, and I got all the excuses under the sun Ive had a nasty fall (yet was OK to ride) etc. etc. So I made the 50 mile round trip twice a day for another 10 days.
Last week she turned the horses out in a field that had not been grazed since last summer. Cody got colic (hardly surprising) and I had to have the vet out at 7.30am on a Sunday morning which I will pay for. Then, on Saturday, she phoned me to say that the farm was probably sold, and I would have to move Cody within 4-6 weeks, but she would confirm within the next 10 days. I was a bit annoyed as shed told me that they definitely werent moving just a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, fair enough I thought. Then this morning I got a text from her saying Cody had feet trimmed yesterday, thats five times since June @ £20/time so you owe me £100 exactly.
Now am I being unreasonable? She needed Cody as a companion for her colt, she would have had to buy or formally loan something if he hadnt have been around, so I think from the point of view of a free companion with no responsibility shes done quite well. It costs her nothing to keep them, they produce their own hay all it costs is straw (of which hes hardly had any) and hard feed (he would be fine on very basic rations!). It was her choice to stable them, they would have all happily lived out with their shelters. I have offered constantly to pay for his keep, she has refused, so I bought feed for them all instead. Now the colt has gone the goal posts have been moved and I feel that I am being used.
This morning I told her that I was upset with her insinuation that I have not paid or done enough to satisfy her, and that I had asked her on numerous occasions if she wanted any financial contribution from me, and now she lands me with a large bill when I can least afford it (just moved house & have large colic out of hours bill to pay) and that I would be picking Cody up on Sunday. She then left a message on my voicemail to say that I had had a good deal and she bought £80 worth of feed every 10 days, the horses have been stabled for 6 months (not true & her choice anyway) etc. etc. I feel really upset that she would think that I havent supported Cody enough. He will always be a priority in my life and I would do everything I possibly could for him. Am I wrong to feel upset by this? It seems obvious that she wants rid of Cody, but why couldnt she have been honest with me when I asked her if she wanted me to have him back (I think she kept quiet because she wanted me to look after them while she was away).
Now I will have to bring Cody home, and he will be kept on his own while I try and find another solution for him. I have recently had back surgery and my other horse is having to be kept on full livery until I can ride again. Has anybody got any advice? My husband thinks that I should not pay the £100 she has asked for as I have already spent more than that on feed and worming for her other horses. She absolutely does not need the money and she knows things are tight for me at the moment Im supporting two horses that I cant ride! Home is not an ideal solution as he will be on his own and we only have ¾ of an acre of grazing. What other options do I have? Or is it me that is being unreasonable?
Sorry for the long post...
Anyway, a friend of my instructor who had recently imported two yearlings offered to take him as a companion for her young colt. My instructors old mare would also go as a companion to the filly and we agreed between us that if this lady had to go away or needed help, we would share it between the two of us. I had no hesitation; they have a 100 acre farm and only 4 horses (including Cody & the mare). Stupidly I did not insist on a loan agreement (she didnt want anything formal) and as she is extremely well known in our area and came highly recommended I didnt think anything more of it. It was agreed that this would work as a mutual favour and I would retain ownership of Cody, pay his vets bills and insurance and also for wormer and feet trimming he would live out all year and have access to a field shelter.
Things worked really well for a while (she took him at the end of June) but then in February she moved the field shelters out of the field and turned them into stables the horses had to be brought in each night, mucked out and turned out again the next day. She did this because she wanted to start handling the youngsters. Anyway, this was entirely her choice.
From the very start I have asked her how much she wanted for Codys feet trimming and if she needed or wanted anything for his keep. Bear in mind that this lady is a multi-millionaire with various horses stationed all over the world and money is no problem for her. I must have asked her at least once a month if she wanted anything from me and she never responded. Because I felt I should make a contribution I bought a trade pack of wormers for the 4 horses, to last them all a year, at a cost of £100. From December, when the horses were being fed more, I bought food once a month at a cost of £50 a time (to feed all of the horses young stock mix for her yearlings, 16+ for my instructors mare and bog standard pony nuts for Cody who would have been perfectly happy with Hay and a bit of HiFi). She then asked me to get more wormer (for all four horses, not just Cody) which I did at a cost of £35 a couple of weeks ago. I also pay for Codys insurance and vets bills and each time the vet as come out to Cody she has tagged on and had her horses looked out so that I pay the full call out.
I visit Cody at least twice a week, and when I went up about 6 weeks ago she told me that the colt was being sent back to Holland to grow up. I said straight away that now Cody was redundant I would happily take him home, she said that there was no need; she had all this land and the horses would be living out again soon. I had also heard through the grapevine that her farm was sold. I told her that if there was any chance that Cody was going to become homeless then I would appreciate knowing ASAP so that I could make arrangements. She insisted that the farm was only on the market for tax reasons (whatever that means!?) and that she wouldnt be moving.
Shortly after that I got a text from her saying that she was going away for a week the next day, and I had to look after the horses. No please could you, just a demand. So, for five days I looked after the three of them (colt had gone). This was the first time I had done it since the horses had been brought in at the end of Feb. She was back for a week and then I got another text saying that she was going away over Easter for 10 days same demand, look after the horses. I asked my instructor (who is extremely friendly with this lady) if she would mind helping out, and I got all the excuses under the sun Ive had a nasty fall (yet was OK to ride) etc. etc. So I made the 50 mile round trip twice a day for another 10 days.
Last week she turned the horses out in a field that had not been grazed since last summer. Cody got colic (hardly surprising) and I had to have the vet out at 7.30am on a Sunday morning which I will pay for. Then, on Saturday, she phoned me to say that the farm was probably sold, and I would have to move Cody within 4-6 weeks, but she would confirm within the next 10 days. I was a bit annoyed as shed told me that they definitely werent moving just a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, fair enough I thought. Then this morning I got a text from her saying Cody had feet trimmed yesterday, thats five times since June @ £20/time so you owe me £100 exactly.
Now am I being unreasonable? She needed Cody as a companion for her colt, she would have had to buy or formally loan something if he hadnt have been around, so I think from the point of view of a free companion with no responsibility shes done quite well. It costs her nothing to keep them, they produce their own hay all it costs is straw (of which hes hardly had any) and hard feed (he would be fine on very basic rations!). It was her choice to stable them, they would have all happily lived out with their shelters. I have offered constantly to pay for his keep, she has refused, so I bought feed for them all instead. Now the colt has gone the goal posts have been moved and I feel that I am being used.
This morning I told her that I was upset with her insinuation that I have not paid or done enough to satisfy her, and that I had asked her on numerous occasions if she wanted any financial contribution from me, and now she lands me with a large bill when I can least afford it (just moved house & have large colic out of hours bill to pay) and that I would be picking Cody up on Sunday. She then left a message on my voicemail to say that I had had a good deal and she bought £80 worth of feed every 10 days, the horses have been stabled for 6 months (not true & her choice anyway) etc. etc. I feel really upset that she would think that I havent supported Cody enough. He will always be a priority in my life and I would do everything I possibly could for him. Am I wrong to feel upset by this? It seems obvious that she wants rid of Cody, but why couldnt she have been honest with me when I asked her if she wanted me to have him back (I think she kept quiet because she wanted me to look after them while she was away).
Now I will have to bring Cody home, and he will be kept on his own while I try and find another solution for him. I have recently had back surgery and my other horse is having to be kept on full livery until I can ride again. Has anybody got any advice? My husband thinks that I should not pay the £100 she has asked for as I have already spent more than that on feed and worming for her other horses. She absolutely does not need the money and she knows things are tight for me at the moment Im supporting two horses that I cant ride! Home is not an ideal solution as he will be on his own and we only have ¾ of an acre of grazing. What other options do I have? Or is it me that is being unreasonable?
