Any Shame In Someone Else Riding Your Horse?

What a wonderful opportunity for you and this young rider. She can bring on your boy and at the same time you can see what a good boy he is. Nothing better to improve your confidence 100% than to see him jump with confidence.
 
Horses are supposed to be fun so make it fun !! Stop worrying about what others may be thinking and do what's right for you. If that means having a more confident rider introduce him to the things that make you nervous then that's great - do it !! Don't set yourself up to fail, you'll only damage your confidence further and completely spoil the experience for yourself and that's entirely pointless when we have horses to enjoy.

I have a brilliantly athletic but a little scary huge warmblood gelding. This horse is built to jump and attacks fences, rocking back and launching. This means he has wonderful scope, ability and power but quite frankly he scared the crap outta me !!

I had a few massive knocks to my confidence and went from being a professional rider producing horses abroad and riding A circuit show jumping to being a quivering wreck over a cross pole after a very bad fall resulting in concussion and a badly broken knee. I was heartbroken as it really spelled the end of my professional show jumping career as with permanent damage to my knee I just can't keep up. However I was given a two beautiful sport horses as a gift and have gradually built myself back though it's taking time but I have never been shy to ask for help as I was determined, now that I'm a quiet leisure rider to enjoy every moment with my horses and not to risk taking another dent to my confidence which I really can't afford.

Now if there's anything I'm anxious about I enlist the help of a more confident friend to try it first, even if it's a silly little thing like hacking a new route. My horses are still young and I want the best start for them and I know that's not me wobbling about, shaking with anxiety !! You should never feel any shame asking for help and it's not the case of someone coming along and "doing all the hard work" - after all you're the one there day in, day out putting in the hours and the dedication. If you think it would benefit you and your horse having this girl ride him, them stop thinking about what other people think and think instead about how much more confident and how much more enjoyment you'll get from him in he long run if you haven't had that horrendous sick, shaky feeling to battle through.

I'm all for pushing yourself and conquering your anxieties but there's a time and place, and it's not appropriate when it's impacting the health of your confidence which sounds like it's still healing. Don't be too hard on yourself - your horse sounds fabulous and maybe seeing this girl ride him will spur you on to tackle some of the things you feel nervous about.
 
Thanks everyone and thank you Sprinkles, it's nice to hear someone feels the same about that cross pole - it became the scariest thing to me and it annoyed me because I'd never felt like that in my life about jumping before.

She's only ridden him twice and the rest has been me - it just shows you that it's only taken that couple of times of my watching him for it to lift my confidence. I have taken on board what people have said about not caring what others think and I've found it quite liberating! I've liked just having my own ideas and if someone has challenged them I've just ignored them or told them straight that I'm doing it my way.

I'm not not afraid to tackle the odd log when I'm on hack on my own or if someone has left jumps up in the school I now leave them up and pop over them myself, instead of putting them away. I no longer dread my jumping lessons or feel sick at the thought of them - I have found recently I've looked forward to the challenge for that week and practised what the instructor taught me that lesson. Overall I'm enjoying jumping again which is a massive step :) Both me and my boy still have a long way to go but I feel the hardest part has been done now - the just getting that little bit of confidence back to use as a starting block!
 
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