Any suggestions to get over nerves?

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newhorse

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Im not a big rider, never will be. I have just taken a lovely little boy on loan and have ridden once for a huge 10 minutes!! haha. Basically I wondered if anyone has any little pearls of wisdom as I really do want to ride and not feel sick everytime I know I am going to.

I also feel like I have to have someone there when I am riding, dont know how this would help but it makes me more comfortable. I suppose the answer is just keep practicing but the nerves dont seem to go away. I have never had any accident or anything, these nerves just appeared one day
 
What about an instructor who will come to you? You should be able to find someone who'll help you improve your riding (even just the basics) and you can ask when you're not sure why he's doing something or if your doing the right thing, both of which can wobble your confidence! Someone you can chat to and will encourage you and then your confidence should soar without you even knowing it. That and doing a little bit regularly. I've found in the past there's a pain barrier to get past and then it becomes so second nature you don't think about it any more and you want to do more and more. Keep going, it will come!
 
I think time and patience is the only cure, just keep going and ride as much as you are comfortable with. Don't push yourself too much, if you feel better riding when some one is there then continue to do this.

I know it feels like you will never get your confidence back but you will, it has taken me a year to get mine back after a fall, and now I sometimes wonder why i was so scared!

Goodluck x
 
Thank you both, will keep on. I think part of it is lack of understanding the body movement and body language so will read up on all this side as well.
 
Have you just come back to riding newhorse? What areas of riding do you most enjoy/get a buzz from? I do very much know what it's like to lose your confidence or have a wobble, and the vast majority or riders have at least the latter every once in a while, so you are by no means alone ;) Do you have anyone horsey that can answer any questions you have or be around as a support?
 
Just take it one step at a time and build it up from there. You haven't had time to build up a bond yet and when that comes, I think it definitely helps. You say you have only ridden him once for 10 minutes. 10 minutes is a long time if you are feeling nervous! So give yourself a big pat on the back and next time, try for 11 minutes etc.
The recommendation for an instructor to help is also a good one. You could be the best rider in the world, but when your confidence goes, an instructor can help enormously.
Take it slowly and move on only when you are ready. Don't let anyone persuade to to do something you know your are not ready for. Good luck, I speak from experience!
 
is there anyone nearby with horses that you can go hacking with? You can learn so much from hacking without realising it - you're usually too busy talking to notice the things you've just done without thinking about it!
 
This is going to sound silly, but I was told to breathe and smile when I get nervous. It's sounds so simple but it really does help.

Concentrating on breathing distracts from the nerves and smiling releases happy endorphins!

Good luck with yours. I'm fully expecting to feel wobbly when I get back on again (had an 8 week break due to a fall and subsequent broken shoulder).
 
SianEliza said:
This is going to sound silly, but I was told to breathe and smile when I get nervous. It's sounds so simple but it really does help.

Concentrating on breathing distracts from the nerves and smiling releases happy endorphins!
Click to expand...

Singing helps your breathing so sing to your horse as you ride! It helps the horse relax too - i used to ride a very spooky racehorse and would sing nursery rhymes to him all the time, would change the words to make it about him too!:D
 
Lol roweena - I practise singing...I need alot of practise.
However hippy this sounds there is a homeopathic (quite aware I can't spell this word) remedy for tension and nerves you take a few drops in water and it really works. I used to take it before exams and OH takes it sometimes before a rugby match to stop the sick feeling. Doesn't take away the 'spunk' just takes the edge off the nerves. Really worth looking into as I believe its fine to take regularally. Sorry I don't know the name it arrived in the post from my mother!
 
Hello,

are you a 'what if' person? If yes it could help to watch someone more confident do the things you want to do on your horse - once you've seen someone else do it you may feel more at ease.

I also have had major confidence issues, feeling sick and all the excuses I could think of not to ride! I now have to be a bit harder on myself and tell myself to get on with it and I do feel like a different person in the saddle, depends on you, but I need a bit of pressure. It is a case of time and calming thoughts.

Keep going, you'll get there!!!!!!!! Keep us all posted on how you get on.

: o )
 
Smiling and BREATHE!!

One of the best tips my friend gave me was to sing. She taught me loads of funny little songs and as soon as she sussed me getting nervous we'd start singing - it got to the point that if I thought I may be bothered by something and didn't want the horse to pick up on it I'd start singing of my own accord. We'd end up having "singing hacks" too :D

My favourite song to sing is "Those magnificent men and their flying machines" - soon as I have sung it I'm ok!

My confidence was knocked massively last year and although I am by no means as gung ho as I'd like to be as I was a few years ago, I have come on in leaps and bounds in such little time. Time is key, as is the knowledge that not everything will go smoothly and to be realistic in how smooth it will be getting it back - for example, I jumped my friend's cob a few weeks back. I nearly came off (very rusty :D ) and ended up arms around his neck! The me of 6 months or so ago would have said, "Oh my god I nearly came off" but as I am now I said, "Woo I stayed on!!"

You'll get there, it may not feel like it sometimes but you will :)
 
having had a HUGE crisis of confidence about 18 months ago - after a minor road accident involving my mare & my 12 yr old daughter & her loan pony - the 3 things i have found most useful were -
1. setting myself tiny goals - " i will tack up" if that goes well i will sit in horse - if that goes well if will ride for 5 mins - etc
2. Riding myself into boredom - telling myself that i could only ride in walk - after a couple of weeks was gagging to trot - same rule with trot & so on
3. I had some NLP sessions with a practicioner - well worth the time & effort

It will get better - 8 months after being too anxious to even tack up - I was able to hack solo 7 mile round trip to BD dressage & compete & win:D:D
good luck with it
 
do you have a school to ride in? if so how about asking someone else to ride at the same time as you - someone you trust as it means you have someone to ask if you need help but that wont judge you as they wil be riding their own horse you could maybe make up a simple pairs dressage test (can be walk and trot only) as it will help you with conroll by varing pace round turns to keep together aswel as taking your mind off what you are doing and all will be within an enclosed space. Or how about listening to music as you ride? will relax you and give you something to sing to as already suggested.
But most of all dont put any pressure on yourself to do anything you dont feel ready to do :)
 
keep going, baby steps! I feel sick everytime before I ride because I am always thinking what if this happens? or that?

I feel better riding with someone else in the school, or someone I can chat to on a hack. Don't be scared of going right back, if you need someone to walk with you round the school or on a hack. At the grand age of 17 my Dad had to walk with me on a lead rope on my new horse because I was so terrified!

Try a few lunge lessons on a schoolmaster, or lessons on a mechanical horse. Don't pressure yourself, but try to know when you can push yourself the tiniest bit. If you say, right today I will get on. So you get on, feel ok, and walk round the school - fab, you've done more than you expected!
I'm going to try riding with my Ipod this week so will see how that goes
I'm also having cognitive behavioural therapy for an unrelated issue and that seems to be helping.
Breathe, and smile!
 
Funny enough, I have been told I hold my breath when I ride. I have never noticed it until I looked down one and I had the most ridiculous pigeon chest ever where I had held it so long hahah

Was going to have a ride last night but because it was dark I was convinced he would spook, even though its a flood lit arena! (think it was an excuse!)

Am going to book an instructor for 2 lessons per week and just get over it - its getting silly now lol
 
Hope you get a nice instructor! Whoever it is don't let them bully you into doing more than you want to, this is your time and money!

I also sang when coming back to riding after a nasty fall - anything that is happy and upbeat or nursery rhymes! I walked my horse in hand for a while which helped my confidence as I could see how well he would behave so that if I rode in that place I didn't have to worry about going past that funny object/car/plastic etc etc. Kalms and Rescue Remedy can help to settle you. You can just do things with your horse, groom, spend time etc doesn't just have to be about riding!
 
Hi Icena

I might try that, just talking him out for a walk etc and the thing is, he probably wont spook at anything! but in my mind he will. I might treat him as a little dog for a while lol - he would love it!!
 
Yes good idea, and gets him out and about! If you go past something you might think is scary but he doesn't react that will be the best proof to you, and you can keep that in your mind when riding i.e I don't have to worry because I've done this and he wasn't fussed! Remember this is about having fun, so if you have to do three weeks (or longer) on the ground with him, if it helps you, it isn't time wasted.

The only other thing I can recommend is an American book called "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway" It's not recklessly encouraging you to go stupid things you know aren't a good idea, but it does help you get things into perspective. i.e what is the worst that can happen and can you handle it if it does? Kelly Marks also has quite a good book called "Perfect Confidence" which is specifically on horse related confidence issues.
 
Get someone you trust on a nanny horse to go out on a quiet ten minute hack, no racing just walking, and make sure you talk all the time (can't get nervous singing or talking!) And stick with that till your confidence improves.

If you are stuck and your in the Yorkshire area, Im happy to plod out with you, Ted could walk through Gay Pride parade and not bat an eyelid!
 
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