Are you a horsey snob?

Check you out with your Stella, copperpot you snob. And tied to the saddle. I drink skol, tied to the waistband of my thong, which of course is visible at least 4" above the waistband of my pink velour trackies, which have 'babe' in diamanties across my backside. I used to drink bottles of diamond white out hacking, but its a pita opening them with your teeth when the horse won't stand still!

Lovely visual image. Thanks for that. :eek:
 
Riders in boob tubes or strappy tops in summer..... Only cause coming off on the road hurts.... Looks tacky too! Jods or jeans so ripped that well why are you wearing anything at all...
 
I smoke on hacks all the time. It teaches him good manners to stand in windy conditions whilst I struggle to light my cigarette inside my jacket :)

I don't smoke but I was told the best horsemen role their own cigarettes. So seems an excellent idea.
 
So I should copperpot, or perhaps I could get dual purpose bit rings that open bottles. My horse isn't into cigs, she prefers a spliff or 'bucket'.
 
Riding your horse wearing no hat Wearing those nasty velour tracksuit things that show your gut off, with a handbag on your shoulder, yes believe me I have seen this a few years back but I was in Essex then. Pure class:cool:
 
Lol what a great thread! It's hilarious! I have all sorts of images going through my head...

Wurzel gummidge with his fringe stuck out his skullcap, in holey jeans, smoking a pipe... While the horse wanders about aimlessly in polite check and mud in his feathers..

do you know me then?? ;) i smoke roll ups but was considering buying a clay pipe a nice long one so i dont spill hot ash on pony! :cool:
 
Haha! Fantastic thread :D

I'd probably get a few of you annoyed ;) I ride a fat naughty welsh D in a flash and running martingale, wear a polite vest, don't own a pair of riding boots - wear my hunters or muck boots, will occasionally answer phone/send a text whilst riding and have been known to smoke whilst riding - tho not since my teenage years.

One of my major bugbears is people who come back from a ride, jump off, throw horse in stable and then take their gloves/hat/coat off, have a drink, chat, check texts etc before going to loosen the girth and see to their horse! Grrrr! :mad:

Saw a young girl out hacking on the roads recently with ear phones in :(

And another one trotting sideways down the middle of the road on a foggy day with no hat or high vis - was hard pressed not to stop the car and tell her what I thought :o
 
Not read all the replies. :D

What's wrong with pink on horses then? :confused::confused:
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She is indeed wearing a pink numnah, brushing boots, fetlock boots, pink crystal v shape browband... and a pink seat saver for my bottom of course. I don't have all of that on all the time mind, legs too muddy, but it doesn't hurt her and it doesn't hurt anybody else for that matter :) *goes and hides*

I'm not a fan of being a snob to other riders, only two things that annoy me are see sawing to get the head in for the look as opposed to working them properly to get an outline as part of them engaging, and fat horses. I just can't stand fat horses and blame the owner.
 
I don't smoke but I was told the best horsemen role their own cigarettes. So seems an excellent idea.

Speaking as a rollie smoker, that's a cert.

We used to have rolling competitions while galloping. I cheated and had my tobacco ready in the paper so just had to roll and lick.
Zippo lighters are a must for riders when its wet and rainy.


Strangely, according to some of the anti smokers here ,I'm unusual as I've never burned or seen a horse burnt by a cigarette yet.


And for the poster who mentioned other sports people not smoking , I smoke and cycle and climbed Hlvellyn, Snowdonia and quite a few others with a tin of tobacco and beat the non smokers up to the top.

There's an awful lot of rubbish talked about smoking these days.
 
Not read all the replies. :D

What's wrong with pink on horses then? :confused::confused:
IMAG0767-1-1.jpg


She is indeed wearing a pink numnah, brushing boots, fetlock boots, pink crystal v shape browband... and a pink seat saver for my bottom of course. I don't have all of that on all the time mind, legs too muddy, but it doesn't hurt her and it doesn't hurt anybody else for that matter :) *goes and hides*

I'm not a fan of being a snob to other riders, only two things that annoy me are see sawing to get the head in for the look as opposed to working them properly to get an outline as part of them engaging, and fat horses. I just can't stand fat horses and blame the owner.


CHAV!!!!! :D
 
There is something about this thread that makes me want to pull my happy, soil-ridden grey lad out of his box, de-mud the bits that may rub if left with mud on, leave his manky winter tail for a day when it's worth washing, leave his mane until it's ok to shorten it when the wind drops and he doesn't need protection on his neck, slap on my tack (which is ancient, black, synthetic, no martingale, no noseband: just loose ring snaffle, no fancy pad, no boots), jump on board wearing my equally ancient jods, half-chaps and Ariats, let his head go to whatever angle he pleases and slob along for a look-see at the world...

Then it makes me want to light a fag, pull out my hip flask, guzzle brandy and blow alcoholic tobacco fumes over people. Sheesh! Your horses ingest so much more crap every time you hack behind ONE motor-vehicle's exhaust pipe, let alone all of them!

I will ALWAYS thank drivers, I will ALWAYS hack in accordance with the least capable rider in the group, I will ALWAYS respect landowners, I will ALWAYS close gates, I will ALWAYS wear a hat and hi-viz and I will ride as I have done for over 40 years. And I will ALWAYS put the health and happiness of my horse first.

And if someone wants to make their pony look like a French poodle? Well, as long as they have their best interests at heart and the pony is happy and healthy, they can carry on.

PS I HAVE to say, though, that I have never yet seen an equine whose face is made more beautiful by a saggy brow band. Not even Totilas.
 
And for the poster who mentioned other sports people not smoking , I smoke and cycle and climbed Hlvellyn, Snowdonia and quite a few others with a tin of tobacco and beat the non smokers up to the top.

There's an awful lot of rubbish talked about smoking these days.

That was me, don't get me wrong I love smoking! Have always been a smoker but have cut down to when stressed or drunk these days... The first time I go hunting I may need to chain smoke over hedges as I will only need a sniff of port for reason to go out the window :-)
 
CHAV!!!!! :D

Ha ha ha :D:D:D

I'll be getting gold hooped earrings to go riding in next ;)
I'm also not opposed to dragging my pony out of the field, cleaning the bits where tack goes and going off on a hack her with mud plastered up her neck and dreadlocks in her mane and tail 'cos at the end of the day we enjoy our hacking and don't give a stuff what people might think we look like. :)
 
Ah, a woman after my own heart, Mrs B :)

Have to admit that I occasionally have a fag whilst riding, but usually only on a long ride. There was a (recent) photo online somewhere of one of our masters with a fag in his mouth as he popped over a small hedge.
 
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Sports people smoking......... puts me in mind of that Harry Enfield sketch eith the footballers in Black and White wearing flat caps and smoking pipes......

Sir Ranulph Fiennes is a pipe smoker and he is fairly fit.........
 
Great, you lot have actually made me miss smoking for the first time in at least five years, lol. :p

Ooops! Sorry, Flame!

D'you know though: I am a very occasional smoker and I don't smoke while riding but the sanctimonious tone of this thread nearly made me change my mind.

PS - Sorry, Kat!
 
Hmmmm, nostalgic for looking like a chav.....

My horses had them clicky petal boots too. So much fun was to be had whilst annoying disapproving people. :D
 
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