Are you a toff?

[RunToEarth]

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I agree with everything you've said APART from the Beckhams having some class. You are just wrong young lady!

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Hah, well perhaps not class but consider themslves to be "classy"

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I always think of them as rich chavs...

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I also see them as rich chavs.

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Anybody who wears sunlasses indoors must have a screw loose IMO..

 

[summertoots]

TOFF- Landed gentry with "old" money but look like they have none and never ever talk about money.
SNOB- Person of any class be it upper, lower or middle, who think they are better than others and look down on them in a very judgemental way.

 

[Malibu]

I agree with rosie, i get called posh etc because i atted a private school,have horses, very english accent in a scottish area and i dont act like a tart but i never boast about it, i dont see my lifestyle as anything special, its just me and i am lucky for what i have, my family have worked hard for what they have got and just because my accent is a bit "posh" dosnt mean i am a "stuck up cow"

Rosie- i know what you mean, i have met a few girls who just talk about how much that handbag cost or those shoes or how many bathrooms their house has. Just wish people wouldnt think that ebcause one owns horses and has a 4x4 that they are toffs.

also i think those who have the money etc dont talk of it, I have alwasy been taught never to talk of how much things are etc, a few girls in my class boast of how much their new top was and how much they have in theri purse but i also hate when people ask how much your horse cost or how much something of your's cost, i think that is sooo rude and would never dream of asking.

 

[0]

Also agree with others about talking about money - it is rude imo.
I do remember once though when I was younger (about 10) asking my dad how much money we had and how much he earned - I never found out the answer and never asked again!!!!!!!

 

[cosmo_sam]

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... to the extent i am too embarressed to say where i live and go to school! I may be classed by many of you as a toff that doesnt particually bother me but being called a snob does!

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You see I HATE inverted snobbery too!!! Grrr

People should all feel free to answer any question honestly, without fear of judgement and stereotype.

I don't actually believe in a class system as such, I do think money is at the heart of much of this debate, but so are manners and generally being a nice person!

Old money/new money is all a bit irrelevant. Any family with inherited wealth will have been new money at some point in their family tree!

The issue is that if you were born loaded or not, if you're rude and judge someone else on anything other than how they have behaved towards you, then you're as good as a chav!! (in fact some chavs may have more manners - just dodgy taste

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[cosmo_sam]

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*whispers* What is Pimms?!

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*coughsplutter*

I'm thinking someone may need a lesson in the joys of pimms!

 

[gothdolly]

Well, I would like to be but dont have the money/background/connections/upbringing, LOL!

Most of the horsey people I know live on a nearby council estate, cycle or get the bus to the yard and work very hard as cleaners/supermarket checkout assistants etc to fund their nags. Not toffs by any means, but damn good horsewomen!

Cassandra

 

[teapot]

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At work I regularly get teased about how they think I went to Swiss finishing school where I had lessons on how to get in and out of a car correctly... and wandered about with books on my head.

In reality I had a very middle class upbringing with my Dad in the military. Not posh or toff at all!

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ditto, ditto ditto - uni friends cant believe how "normal" I seem despite being educatated privately for 14 years. They have this stereotypical attitude towards it all. And riding just adds to it. I get called a toff for buying my lunch in M&S though

Think there are the 3 categories which seem to get mixed up - toff, posh and then middle class.

Some people assume that if you're middle class, you're automatically "oh daddy" plum in mouth type which then associated middle class with being posh. Then of course being posh is mixed with toff if you ride horses/have a country estate type thing

Toff for me is being of the landed gentry which can be traced back to the days of lords of the manor etc.

Not sure about the shooting/fishing type parties. My brother goes to a lot of these as his circle of friends regularly host them. You'll find him at Cowdray or Badminton etc mixing with those who can be deemed toff. But he's definately not what I define a toff as being.

My family background is exactly the same to Lzt's - boarding school for my brothers and myself primarily beacuse of having a military father.

 

[xspiralx]

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also i think those who have the money etc dont talk of it, I have alwasy been taught never to talk of how much things are etc, a few girls in my class boast of how much their new top was and how much they have in theri purse but i also hate when people ask how much your horse cost or how much something of your's cost, i think that is sooo rude and would never dream of asking.

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I love to know how much things cost - out of curiosity! I don't see whats particularly offensive about asking - if someone doesn't want to say its their choice but I don't think its really that bad a question.

As to the original question - no I am not a toff. I live a middle class lifestyle, we are well off and my parents are both academics. I speak well and have good manners but we are not landowners. All our neighbours are though, they are proper "toffs"! All very rich and horsey and speak very well and yet don't have any airs and graces or go about flaunting their money!

 

[GinaB]

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*whispers* What is Pimms?!

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*coughsplutter*

I'm thinking someone may need a lesson in the joys of pimms!

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Honestly, I've only heard about it when I started coming on here! Never seen it in a bar or anything

As for asking people how much they've spent on things such as cars etc I think it's a bit rude. Tiny, trivial things not so much but major purchases etc

 

[RunToEarth]

I love pimms, I shall treat you to a jug when you come over for the CLA gamefair, I live and breathe pimms at that event

Back to the subject in debate- Spiral-I am offended when people ask me that my possessions cost.

 

[cosmo_sam]

Oh now would you just look at that!!!! *drools*

Right that's it, the next hint of sunshine and I'm blackmailing my friend into having a bbq just so I can buy some Pimms!!

 

[GinaB]

Ok Rosiie I'll hold you to that one! I want to know what all the fuss is about

 

[severnmiles]

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Oh goody goody, I love Pimms, I have been willing summer to come just for the pimms, it isnt a drink for winter!

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The Winter Pimms is lovely on a cold morning...mmmm!

 

[Mid]

Live in an itsy bitsy house in a run down city with a drug problem... But I rather fancy myself a toff

 

[Gentle_Warrior]

Hell No !!

 

[anniedoherty]

Nope - middle class through and through but would like to be a toff if I can apply for the job? I would ride all day and my cook could make me delicious meals, my butler could answer all my phone calls (and the door), my housekeeper would be able to busy herself tidying and cleaning my vast mansion and my grooms would be busy tending to my immaculate stables.

 

[lorenababbit]

can you be one if you are born and brought up in Brixton?

 

[regalrendezvous]

Sadly over here (australia) i am seen as one. I have a very plummy accent that WILL NOT GO! No matter how hard i try it is still here and i stick out like a sore thumb. No one cares that i work VERY hard to pay for my horses once they find out i ride they are like "Ohhhh your one of those"

*sigh*

In Australia the majority of horse owners are not rich at all but all the non horsey people view everyone with horses as a rich snob.