Asking for a horse back without upsetting anyone.

[poiuytrewq]

Different thought/perspective - is your pony happy where he is? Will he get stressed moving home?

He is happy generally yes. I don’t think he is in summer if I’m honest.
He wasn’t stressed going there, he knew her horse well though as they were hacking most days to ether prior to him going.
He was very chilled when I picked him up and brought him here though, hes also done trip ls to the vets including stay overs and takes it in his stride, he’s a pretty laid back person most of the time. Possibly a bit different now he’s not used to doing anything at all.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I would just say “how are you getting on with finding a companion? I know it’s been far longer than the 6 months we’d originally planned and I’d like to be able to get Horse home soon.”

I wouldn’t excuse, apologise or consider it a bombshell. The original plan was 6 months, it wasn’t meant to be a permanent arrangement.

We did speak about it at the end of the 6 month period. I rode him, he wasn’t 100% so retired and we then discussed him staying longer. I did stress if she ever wanted him gone for any reason to just say and she said the same thing.
It’s just I know it’s more of an issue for her.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I just realised maybe I’ve made out that at the end of the 6 months nothing happened!
We did chat. I had originally been very happy with the 6 month plan and by that point everyone seemed happy, my new horse was ok at the time
It was a mutual decision to leave him longer.
I just mentioned the 6 month as It was never intentionally forever

 

[Glitter is Fun]

Following on from MM, I'd even take a little more out of it.

'Hi, I've been thinking now for a while about bringing X home. Several reasons, none at all to do with you! horse Also i just miss having him round, I'd never really planned for him to leave permanently.

I know it's not ideal for you, I am happy to wait/help find a replacement companion if you think you'd need one.

I like this version - the more explanation there is, the more she has argue with.

I fear I will blurt worse than the above out and then get talked out of it all.
Last year i offered to go daily and poo pick to see if it helped keep the flies down but she talked me out of it and convinced me all was fine. I thought a message, we correspond most days by message puts across what i want to say without it all going wrong?

I don't see anything wrong with telling her in writing if you find it difficult to be assertive with her in person. I'd add a date too, so it's official :-

'Hi, I've been thinking now for a while about bringing X home. Several reasons, none at all to do with you! As you know I'd never planned for him to leave permanently.
I know it's not ideal for you, so I am happy to wait/help find a replacement companion if you think you'd need one. However I do need him by -/-/- at the latest.
I hope we will remain friends and of course you will always be very welcome to visit him at mine if you miss him.

Ok, noted re mud and flies, I was thinking I needed proper reasons and these are what's spurred this on.

He's yours & you want him is sufficient reason to give whatever is inside your head!

 

[seriously festive equine]

i agree with all. You need to do what is best for you - hes yours at the end of the day!

 

[thefarsideofthefield]

When my loaner unexpectedly needed to end a loan she came to see me and said " I'm finding it really hard to word this properly so I' ve written it down . Please read this " and handed me a very nicely written letter . She waited quietly whilst I read it and then we had a chat . It gave me a few moments to digest the information and compose myself before responding , and I thought it was an excellent way of dealing with the situation . Infact I've used it to deal with an awkward situation myself since .

 

[splashgirl45]

When I had to give up my loan horse I visited her owner to explain in person why I needed to terminate the loan, we both cried and hugged and it worked out fine although I miss that horse as I’d had her for 2 years. I couldn’t have sent her a text it wouldn’t have explained things in the right tone but doing it face to face was the right way in my case

 

[indie1282]

Personally I would just say you want him back as your lami ponies need different management and you need him back to be a companion to your horse.

It’s not like he’s a ridden horse for her and there are loads of horses/ponies looking for companion homes - she could probably get one from a charity.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I did it. I messaged asking if I was ok to pop round and talk about him. If I’m honest I’d hoped she’d ask why and I could just message it
Decision spurred on by the fact that the ponies really need to stay off the grass a bit and I can’t turn my horse out alone, he’s also getting a bit crabby about being out over night which is best for them.
So it went ok, I explained that the ponies needed some time off the grass and she knows all too well what a prat my horse can be so it’s all fine.
I think maybe her husband was more dissapointed! He asked if they could have him back at some point
She is going to try without a third, there’s little grass so hopefully her pony could go in with her horse and just see what happens.
So she just needs to sort out a bit of fencing, and probably so do I because I think I’ll put him in my old boys turnout pen and shelter rather than stable as since he left the ponies have had one each and he seems happy out. But that’s not been used since last winter so needs a bit of care.


Im so excited and relieved. This time next week he should be home.
I really hope I don’t regret this currently things are easy like I barrow hay into the field and leave one huge pile, the 3 just stand round it and share happily. I can catch and bring in/turn out all 3 - although he was always really good like that. He defo won’t share hay though!
My currently really good fields will probably be trashed!

My next mission is matching wardrobes….

 

[Meredith]

Glad it has worked out nicely.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Practicalities to think of aswell I guess, I’ve just purchased wormer for all so will just wait til he’s home to do that.
I believe he will need shoes, at least fronts as here he will be coming in and out and he does get footsore on stones unfortunately. Mine are only just done this week so might have to get the farrier back for him.
It’s a shame, his feet look so much better bare.
@ycbm any ideas? He’s been on a good diet for years

 

[nagblagger]

Sounds like a good understanding true friend.
Glad it's worked out.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Sounds like a good understanding true friend.
Glad it's worked out.

That was why i was so worried about doing it, and why I have put it off for so long.
I’ve said I’ll tow him along behind us out hacking sometimes so she will still see him!

 

[webble]

Practicalities to think of aswell I guess, I’ve just purchased wormer for all so will just wait til he’s home to do that.
I believe he will need shoes, at least fronts as here he will be coming in and out and he does get footsore on stones unfortunately. Mine are only just done this week so might have to get the farrier back for him.
It’s a shame, his feet look so much better bare.
@ycbm any ideas? He’s been on a good diet for years

could you boot him for crossing the stones? Or lay down some straw or matting? He might surprise you you never know

 

[Fjord]

Oh I'm glad it all went OK!

 

[poiuytrewq]

could you boot him for crossing the stones? Or lay down some straw or matting? He might surprise you you never know

Potentially boots perhaps. It’s too far to cover unfortunately.

 

[splashgirl45]

If he is retired and is without shoes can he do without completely. If you wanted to ride him it might be worth putting shoes on but if not it’s much better for him to stay without.. maybe try hoof armour or similar

 

[poiuytrewq]

If he is retired and is without shoes can he do without completely. If you wanted to ride him it might be worth putting shoes on but if not it’s much better for him to stay without.. maybe try hoof armour or similar

He is quite sensitive to stones. Where he is he’s out 24/7 on soft ground. Here he will have to walk in and out but also my fields are quite stony. I will try keeping them off but even last summer when the ground was hard he felt it on grass.

 

[splashgirl45]

He is quite sensitive to stones. Where he is he’s out 24/7 on soft ground. Here he will have to walk in and out but also my fields are quite stony. I will try keeping them off but even last summer when the ground was hard he felt it on grass.

Maybe try boots first if he is really sore , seems a shame to shoe if retired. My loan horse had very thin soles, but was shod and my farrier suggested keratin as her feet had got soft in the wet winter a couple of years ago, seemed to help her. I would try that before shoeing. Glad you spoke to your friend in person and it went ok ..

 

[splashgirl45]

..

 

[AmyMay]

I would just say “how are you getting on with finding a companion? I know it’s been far longer than the 6 months we’d originally planned and I’d like to be able to get Horse home soon.”

I wouldn’t excuse, apologise or consider it a bombshell. The original plan was 6 months, it wasn’t meant to be a permanent arrangement.

As ever, the perfect response from LadyG.

 

[poiuytrewq]

So FF quickly I’m picking him up in the morning!
So excited!
Friend thought, looking at the forcast next week that it would be a good idea to make new introductions whilst the ground was slightly softer so asked if I was ready now.
His haynet, water and fresh rugs are waiting!

 

[splashgirl45]

We will need pics when he comes home please

 

[poiuytrewq]

We will need pics when he comes home please

Promise! He’s hairy and muddy but a beautiful horse.
It used to drive me nuts all the comments on what a pretty horse or what a good stamp of a horse he was…. Yes he is but I can’t ride him. It broke my heart time after time.
He’s gorgeous.

 

[HannahB]

Well done for going to speak in person
Yes its scary but at the end of the day, what you say is harder be misinterpreted in person than online. And it saves that even more awkward meeting when you go collect horse after only messaging...

 

[cauda equina]

I hope his homecoming went well

 

[poiuytrewq]

It went very well, he banged round a bit on the lorry, used to travel like a saint but he has literally been out of the field to have his feet trimmed and teeth done.
Shouted a few times, spent a few hours in the turnout pen and then went out with Zigs, a few front legs and bit of a snort, 5 minutes later it was as if he’d never been away.

It’s also a huge relief to have the ponies in off the grass because I was really pushing my luck turning them out all the time since loosing our old horse, who used to be Ziggys turnout friend last Feb.

 

[toppedoff]

It went very well, he banged round a bit on the lorry, used to travel like a saint but he has literally been out of the field to have his feet trimmed and teeth done.
Shouted a few times, spent a few hours in the turnout pen and then went out with Zigs, a few front legs and bit of a snort, 5 minutes later it was as if he’d never been away.

It’s also a huge relief to have the ponies in off the grass because I was really pushing my luck turning them out all the time since loosing our old horse, who used to be Ziggys turnout friend last Feb. View attachment 132148View attachment 132149View attachment 132151View attachment 132152View attachment 132153

Oh he's gorgeous Absolutely adore his markings!

 

[ElleSkywalkingintheair]

matchy pajamas

 

[poiuytrewq]

matchy pajamas

Life goals! They have a lot of the same stuff already because I had to kit Ziggy out and like to hunt for a bargain, but then would feel guilty not buying for both, even though he wasn’t here!