Bad mum today :(

AmiRobertson

AmiRobertson

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Dizzy hates having her feet done not great seeing as I need to look after them to try and correct her problems. Been doing ground work before trying to do her feet and she has been really good but today when I tried to lift her front leg she reared over me and snapped the baling twine I lost it and threw the brush and bucket at her then proceeded to chase her around the yard crying and screaming 'I hate you! If you don't let me help you you will have to be f-ing shot you f-ing cow bag!' Not good :( my yard owner held her in the end while I did her feet sobbing.
 
I think everyone has lost it at one point, don't feel too bad! I've done it once before where I slapped my horse on his chest quite hard as he was just being an idiot and wouldn't stand still. I immediately felt guilty and have never done it again!
 
I feel for you :( Horses really do test us sometimes and I'm sure we have all lost it at one point or another due to sheer fustration!!

Try not to think about it and carry on as you were. Does she not pick her feet up in pain or just doesn't like it?
 
take a deep breath and start at the beginning again, you have redeemed yourself by recognising it was not the best way to deal with it. don't beat yourself up just see it coming next time and walk away give yourself time to calm down and start again, and again, and again, and again.

good on you for admitting you made a mistake, next time it starts to go wrong just picture in your head how funny you must have looked and sounded when you lost it today
 
We've all done it! I was putting a hay net up and one of mine came and started eating the hay, but it got stuck, so horse pulled harder and harder, in the end (baring in mind I was trying to tie it) said haynet ended up over the other side of the stable, me with bad rope burn, so said horse got screamed at and a smack.... It no longer eats out of haynets whilst I'm putting them up... At least it has good manners now :D But still loves me :D (and it's and unforgiving TB!)
 
I think we've all been tested to the limit sometimes. I know when my own cowbag was at her worst for catching, I used to mutter about getting a bullet for her.

Nice YO for coming to help though, it helps to diffuse things a bit. Walking a way and taking a few deep breathes is a good strategy.
How about asking someone to stand at her head in future, no point in stressing both of you if there's another way.

Don't feel too bad, the fact that you feel guilty shows you're a caring owner. Just human.
 
Oh poor you. Can any of us really say that they have never lost it at some point. Then ended up crying because of how we reacted at the time, it the frustration that comes out. At least you are honest enough to come out with it and you know that it was not how the situation should have been handled, but on the odd time we just loose it. What I do is just walk away and try and calm down. Do not be too hard on yourself.
 
Yep done it too! Kenny decided he didn't want to be caught in the field... For a whole week. It was freezing cold and he was clipped with no rug on. Nothing I could do. One day I just yelled and yelled about how he was going to freeze to death (maybe a bit over dramatic but it was the end of the world in my eyes) went home in tears telling mum how much I hated him. Instantly felt guilty. Then he just decided he'd go back to normal! Vowed to myself I'd never do it again but yes, I bet we all have. She'll have forgotten by tomorrow don't fret :)
 
Thank you everyone I must of looked ridiculous I actually shoved her while shouting like it was going to do anything she is a 16.3 tb and still growing! I think it was just the straw on the camels back she terrified me rearing up over my head like that so my reaction was to scare her.

Her feet are sensitive but I really take my time do a little ground work first and massage above the hoof before trying to lift them and she always has some hay to munch on. We just have to keep on working on it because otherwise this barefoot rehab won't work unless I can keep her feet clean. Next time I will wear a helmet and take deep breaths am remember it's not her fault and she doesn't understand why I am ranting and crying. Thank you for your replies :)
 
Oh and also going to have someone hold her next time I don't want her to hurt herself by pulling back and possibly getting caught up
 
AmiRobertson said:
Her feet are sensitive but I really take my time do a little ground work first and massage above the hoof before trying to lift them and she always has some hay to munch on. We just have to keep on working on it because otherwise this barefoot rehab won't work unless I can keep her feet clean.
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There you go. Just shown what a thoughtful owner you are.
 
Agree, we've all been there. My mare did similar last week and snapped her reins, which gave before the twine did. She then galloped around the yard and up the long drive and back for 20 minutes (she'd stood on my foot and I yelled in her ear, so I was a monster from then on!). I was beetroot red and told her to save me some effing money and break her neck. I'm pretty sure she'd have had a rope flung at her if I'd been holding one! I'd have been mortified if she'd taken heed, but don't beat yourself up too much. Sometimes we just run out of patience and it's just fortunate our horses are forgiving.
 
Oh man, there is nothing like a stubborn mare to test a person's patience and resolve, especially when if they just stood still it would only take a moment of their precious time AND you're trying to help them! I am sure she forgives you, try to forgive yourself too, if that's the worst thing that ever happens/happened to her in her life she's not doing too badly!
 
Been there, done similar.

Went home, moaned all evening at anyone who would listen, got myself well on the road of "THE SPIRAL OF DESPAIR" as my eldest daughter calls it and probably enjoyed the feeling sorry for myself looking back.

Had a change of attitude and vowed that nothing my pony did would ever make me do anything but laugh. She is stupid sometimes, so I laugh at her.

It's working...................................so far.

(though they say horses/animals don't like laughing, it confuses them, so maybe it's more effective than losing it and shouting but you feel better?:confused:)
 
Another "been there" story to make you feel better . . . when Kal had mud fever and I had to muck about with his feet every . . . single . . . day, for weeks on end (three months to be exact), he got (understandably) funny about having having his hind legs and feet mucked about with . . . one day, after chasing his back end back and forth for what seemed like an age for the umpteenth time that week, I lost the plot and swung a headcollar at his rump and then burst into tears. I'm not particularly proud of that moment . . . but he didn't seem to notice and doesn't love or trust me any less ;).

Give yourself a break/don't beat yourself up . . . and just move on :).

P
 
Aarrghimpossiblepony said:
Went home, moaned all evening at anyone who would listen, got myself well on the road of "THE SPIRAL OF DESPAIR" as my eldest daughter calls it and probably enjoyed the feeling sorry for myself looking back.
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The Spiral of Despair! That's brilliant . . . been there many times (as my daughters will attest) and, you're right, laughter does help. Can I steal that phrase?

P
 
Fransurrey said:
Agree, we've all been there. My mare did similar last week and snapped her reins, which gave before the twine did. She then galloped around the yard and up the long drive and back for 20 minutes (she'd stood on my foot and I yelled in her ear, so I was a monster from then on!). I was beetroot red and told her to save me some effing money and break her neck. I'm pretty sure she'd have had a rope flung at her if I'd been holding one! I'd have been mortified if she'd taken heed, but don't beat yourself up too much. Sometimes we just run out of patience and it's just fortunate our horses are forgiving.
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Aw, Jeez, the line ' I was beetroot red and told her to save me some effing money and break her neck.'

Absolute classic. I just laughed so loud the dog jumped.
 
PolarSkye said:
The Spiral of Despair! That's brilliant . . . been there many times (as my daughters will attest) and, you're right, laughter does help. Can I steal that phrase?

P
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Feel free.

It is rather good and it's become something of a catchphrase. We take it in turns to head down that road and then get snapped out of it as it's so funny.:D
 
From the responses, you can see we've all lost it at one point in time.

I have had a few instances where i have got angry/upset at my boy for various reasons...

I've had him now for 7 years but in the first year, i found out he wasn't a fan of farriers, I found this out by him freaking out and by charging into a stable managed to pull the entire door and its frame (all wooden) out of a breeze block wall - not his own stable may i add.

I was too in shock in this case to shout at him, but believe me there have been other times.

He now falls asleep with the farrier.

For some time he was sedated to be shod, just to protect himself and everyone around, we gradually reduced the sedation, and now he's a little lamb.

His particular shoeing / trimming behavior related to the fact he had medical issues making holding a leg up difficult and painful, I sorted all that but the behavior remained, as well all know horses never forget bad experiences. You're horse might not be suffering pain, but there might be a memory there, that just time will sort out.
 
horserider said:
Aw, Jeez, the line ' I was beetroot red and told her to save me some effing money and break her neck.'

Absolute classic. I just laughed so loud the dog jumped.
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lol, I can laugh at it, now, but I went home feeling like the worst owner in the world, that I didn't deserve horses...etc. I even browsed ads hoping to see a wanted ad for 'lunatic exmoor which has hardly done a thing at 13yrs, severe sweet itch and nervous nature a plus', then I remembered that I'm one of a select few nutters that PAYS MONEY for horses like this! :D
 
Haha fantastic stories thank you it's lovely to know I am not the only one who has lost it :)

I am another who jumps on the spiral of despair from time to time haha love that phrase!
 
My 3 y/old tried to kill my farrier yesterday, so I was hanging round his head shouting similar things in his ear ("you f'ing b'sterd you f'ing do NOT do THAT"). Farrier: "He certainly listens to your voice, doesn't he?" as the poor sod then stood like a rock while he finished up.

We've all been there. If you'd taken a fence post to her in a temper, you might get a different response, but a bit of desperate yelling to make you feel better doesn't harm anyone :)
 
Benjamin bunny that sounds a nightmare! But it's great that you made it in the end. Yes dizzy in her short life has not had the best of starts but I won't give up on her she is stuck with me unfortunately for her ;)
 
JFTD haha you just made me laugh. My farrier calls dizzy the old cow bag even though she is also only 3 as he first time he shod her she broke free and backed up into his van! he has a soft spot for her though because I have caught him calling her sweetie while scratching her ears :)
 
Not long after I got my lad, he got tired of me faffing with his hooves and one day I managed to get one hoof boot on but the other somehow could not be allowed any where near horse's leg. After about the fifth time of getting it almost on, then hoof getting slammed down and boot flying off I admit I flung it very hard across the field and let out a string of sweary words. The almost insufferable NH person I shared the field with looked at me pityingly and said something about me needing to work on my emotional control, and I don't know if she knows how close she came to getting the remaining hoof boot wrapped around her ear :o We did spend a bit of time working around the issue and hoof boots are now predictors of nice outings so no longer a problem but at the time it made me want to scream!

OP - have you tried standing your mare on e.g. a camping mat or similar while doing her feet? Sometimes, horses with tender feet find it uncomfortable to put all their weight on one when lifting the other and hard, yard type surfaces make it worse. It can help if they're standing on something a bit softer while you lift the foot you want to work on :)
 
Oh been there many a time OP! As others have said you realised you over reacted and its not like you beat your horse up on a regular basis, so dont beat yourself up :)

I find myself counting to 10 out loud pretty much everyday with my horse, he tests me to the limit in every possible way and he is 12 so there is no hope for him ;) The other liveries think I am crazy but its either that or I think I would actually end up beating him to death, or him me for that matter!!!!!

We have a love hate relationship, we love to hate each other ;) :D
 
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