Balls are a pain

Having commented on the boobs thread I felt compelled to come on here!!!!

Well boys I think the only thing you can do is to try out the suggestions and post the 'try out videos' on here for us to share the results! Fairs fair really!

My only suggestion is speedos???? They seem to keep said items in place for swimming!!!!!
 
Can't stop laughing!!!! Sorry guys!
What do cowboys do? They use a good old western saddle. I always think that the hole at the front is for parking the erm........ in!! Look at reining - If it was a problem for them how would they manage a sliding stop ..... phwwwwww! Any cowboys reading this perhaps they could give you some tips. :D
 
Achinghips said:
I know of someone who felt a little "uncomfortable" one day driving away from the livery, only for the feeling to become more "acute" in the Gentleman's area during the course of the journey. Poor chap drove himself straight to the local A & E, only to discover a "torsion of the testicles". Basically, the plums had twisted over themselves, swollen, and couldn't twist back. 12 hours later and an emergency operation, involving a cosmetic "ball lift" to prevent re-ocurance, said chap has never had a "Gentleman's problem" again - and his wife is chuffed as chips, with the new youthful sacks!
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I just spat my coffee on the keyboard!!!!!!! hahahahaa!!!
 
OH wears snug pants so bits don't dangle. He also has a huge western saddle on a very comfortable clydesdale - problem solved, no squashed boy bits. That said, he prefers to mooch along hacking and only does the odd ditch or log for jumping.
 
Only just spotted this thread and I must say I have been pretty lucky so far, I usually wear Equitech boxers or just my tight CK boxers. But precautions in the preparation are a must :( make sure you are dressed to the correct side ;) and the said items are nice and tightly pushed together prior to setting off. Movement is the killer :D too much space and the meat and two veg might as well be in the blender :rolleyes:

Any suggestions of the perfect holster then please post now !!


Kev
 
I must admit, I would like to sign up for this problem, and will be watching for solutions!

Being a fellow fella I must say I have only been a member this evening, I havent laughed so much in a while.

I dont like the sound of twisted balls or a sack lift........:eek:
 
How about a mankini to lift everything out of the way? :p

Failing that, a cup?

Or pushing your posterior pelvis (ie.bum) into saddle deeper and having the anterior pelvis higher out of saddle? (serious answer :p)
 
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OH has just come downstairs to find out why Im crying with laughter lol

When he had his first riding lesson he tried to jump on and somehow kicked the horses quarters causing them to jump a little just as he crashed down on to the pommel. With his eyes watering he sort of slid off the other side and sat there holding his bits - he never has got on another horse... Sadly I did have it on video but he made me delete it :(
 
only_me said:
Or pushing your posterior pelvis (ie.bum) into saddle deeper and having the anterior pelvis higher out of saddle? (serious answer :p)
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It only takes a few eye watering rides before you kinda work this one out :D

However, even those of us with iron plumbs, exposed to the sun, salt water and vinegar can do nothing about the third element in the combination, and after a long fast gallop, especially if there are a couple of jumps thrown in, it can be quite a shock to the system to sit back down onto a cantering horse, only to find that something is 'not quite right'.

There is nothing in the world more difficult that trying the 're-dress' to the correct side, while on horseback, in tight breeches, wearing riding gloves. Oh and you can forget being discreet, because the second you shove you hand into your pants, someone always turns to talk to you, or rides up alongside.
 
NeilM said:
. Oh and you can forget being discreet, because the second you shove you hand into your pants, someone always turns to talk to you, or rides up alongside.
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amen Neil, amen.

Well unfortunatly it seems that it is an issue which plagues gentlemen the world over with little to no solution (cosmetic surgery, castration and 'pickling' aside) apart from a small prayer to whatever deity may be above!

It is a shame that no-one has been able to say "you should try these..." as with the comparative "boobs" thread to solve this testicular conundrum!
 
I want to thank you Ruthnmeg, that image popped up on my screen just as our CEO walked past my desk :eek:

Lots of talk about balls :D but what about 'that other thing' :eek: - doesn't that cause any trouble? I mean judging by the number of times my boss... ahem... checks:eek:/double checks:o/moves:eek::eek:/shakes a leg:o:( during the day, 'it' must have a life of its own :o - don't you ever sit on it/squash it/talk to it - or do you just forget it is there (highly unlikely I know :)).
 
ROFLMAO tears streaming down my face and family watching horrified, wondering if I'm choking to death :D :D :D :D

Sorry. Really, really sorry. Should not laugh. Must not laugh.

*snorts and runs off to cellar to dive under pile of mouldering horse rugs*
 
alma said:
You could wrap in bubble wrap, but possibly would sound like a bowl of rice krispies
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65949_4.png


How about these?
 
moley087 said:
amen Neil, amen.

Well unfortunatly it seems that it is an issue which plagues gentlemen the world over with little to no solution (cosmetic surgery, castration and 'pickling' aside) apart from a small prayer to whatever deity may be above!

It is a shame that no-one has been able to say "you should try these..." as with the comparative "boobs" thread to solve this testicular conundrum!
Click to expand...

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1260/1203045635_3f48a91224.jpg

You should try this.....
 
LOL
Oh dear, lots of ermm, images now causing havoc with my mind.

From what I can gather (and obviously have no experience of this!) if you hit the meat, you may wimper slightly, but if you hit the 2 veg, that causes eye watering pain - Men, correct me if Iam wrong?? So, the 2 veg need bubble wrapping / knight in shinning armour protection??
 
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