Been forced to sell - Update 6 months on!

[shelley8697]

Well I'm still without a horse or any regular contact.... for those of you who know my story, things are really no better. I have now been in my new house for 6 months in a new town about 20 miles from my old town - I know it's not far..... but it seems to have left me without any horses friends as most of my old friends are very busy with there ponies.

I have been occasionally helping a friend who events. Which is great, but find myself upset as I should have been doing this with my horse/trailer/4x4, I was forced to sell. I also get updates from the lady who bought my horse via facebook :-( She's doing great, but to be honest was doing better with me.....

I have not sat on a horse since January and to be honest, despite having lots of horsey friends with more that one horse - on one has asked my to ride...... I don't understand why?

I feel so confused and low...... I spend all my spare time on the internet looking at horses to buy, reading forums etc... horses, horses and more horses.. I have started to save and hubby says I can have another one hopefully after Xmas..... but I seem to have lost my mojo for horses and feel at a real lost of what to do?

Has anyone been in the same situation???? I am worried about even thinking about buying another horse, just in case I would be making a mistake.... may be I don't really want one again and have finally managed to have a 'crappy' life without horses??? I only have my hubby and dogs....

 

[domane]

Oh that's so sad! I don't know your story or situation but have you looked into the possiblity of sharing something in your local area? Have a scan of the ads in the local tack shops or FB pages for your area?

 

[Ranyhyn]

Bless you - maybe they think you can't face it yet, as you said in your previous thread. I'm sure your friends aren't being deliberately unkind to you - maybe they just aren't sure when to broach the subject?

What area are you in? have you thought about sharing yet? Just to keep a hand in?

 

[mulledwhine]

I really feel for you, it sounds like you have lost your mojo full stop.

You do sound depressed, do what I did, get yourself to the docs and get some happy tablets, or maybe re finding your horsey hobby may just be what you need.

Take your friend up on her offer of rides and see how you feel

 

[mulledwhine]

Sorry miss read, I thought they had offered and you had turned them down.

 

[shelley8697]

Sorry miss read, I thought they had offered and you had turned them down.

They did offer immediately, however now that I am starting to feel up to it they have all moved on, plus I managed to hurt myself mowing the lawn a couple of months ago.

I have got some happy pills that I have taken myself off of...... may be too early :-(

 

[mulledwhine]

Yes it sounds like you did, I am terrible for doing that, having been diagnosed with a chemical depression at 17, I get fed up of taking them.

However, as ATM, I soon go back under the cloud

Make me a promise, I will start again tonight and make sure you do

Trust me I know exactly how you feel (hugs )

 

[whiteclover]

I know how you feel. I bought a horse this spring but we werent well matched so I sold him and Ive been without a horse for a couple of months. I kind of enjoy it but Im bored too. I dont want to buy another yet and if I did Id have a problem as to where to keep him/her as all the yards are rubbish around here. Im not sure whether to look for a share 2 days a week. Im going for a lesson at a riding school next week and Im going to try draghunting which I think will be really good and hopefully I'll get my mojo back.

 

[Hobbitpony]

I am sorry you had to sell your horse, I appreciate that must have been difficult. But as someone who doesn't have a horse and certainly can't afford one for the forseeable future I think you need a bit of perspective.

may be I don't really want one again and have finally managed to have a 'crappy' life without horses???.[/QUOTE]

Do you mean 'crappy' life without horses or 'crappy life' without event horse, 4x4 and IFOR williams because they are different! You don't necessarily need money or time to have horses in your life but you will probably have to lower your expectations. I have four horses I ride on an adhoc basis as and when I can for minimal contribution which is brilliant. Do I get to compete or ride at a moments notice- No, but I'm very grateful for whatever I can get.

I have not sat on a horse since January and to be honest, despite having lots of horsey friends with more that one horse - on one has asked my to ride...... I don't understand why?

Have you actually asked them? Old adage don't ask, don't get. They may be worrying if they ask you to ride you'll get upset and they'll feel awkward.

I feel so confused and low...... I spend all my spare time on the internet looking at horses to buy, reading forums etc... horses, horses and more horses..

Window shopping for horses that you can't yet afford is pointless and is disappointing when nice ones are sold to someone else. Save it for until you actually need to buy. Spend the time doing something more pro-active you will feel better.

I have started to save and hubby says I can have another one hopefully after Xmas.....

Well you are very lucky and that is something nice to look forward to. At least your OH is supportive.

Finally as my Mum says, when life gives you lemons...make lemonade. Good luck for the future and your new horse when it arrives.

 

[shelley8697]

I know how you feel. I bought a horse this spring but we werent well matched so I sold him and Ive been without a horse for a couple of months. I kind of enjoy it but Im bored too. I dont want to buy another yet and if I did Id have a problem as to where to keep him/her as all the yards are rubbish around here. Im not sure whether to look for a share 2 days a week. Im going for a lesson at a riding school next week and Im going to try draghunting which I think will be really good and hopefully I'll get my mojo back.

Yards are a big problem here too..... don't think that is helping either - i have looked at one - but all the rest seem to be 30 mins away - I do DIY and don't want to be that far away.

 

[shelley8697]

Thanks Hobbitpony for putting things into perspective for me I don't actually want to compete at affliated level anymore. I've just turned 40 and I love M&M's and would love another welsh cob or highland to hack, RC and show at local level.

My life without a horse at the moment is sooooo boring and I don't seem to have a purpose in life, my biggest fear is that I am becoming lazy and the thought of having to muck out and go out to the horse 2/3 times a day is really not great at the moment.

I have thought about booking a riding lesson... may be this would be a good idea??

 

[katherine1975]

Hi. Sorry to hear that you are feeling down, I don't know your story. Maybe you could treat yourself to something horsey or non horsey if you prefer. I'm hoping to treat myself to a side saddle lesson soon.

 

[katherine1975]

Or ask your horsey friends if you can go riding with them. I would love some help to exercise my two, have got a few friends that come out hacking with me but they are not always available on the same day as me.

 

[hunting mad]

Have PMed you?

 

[Gingerwitch]

Hey Shell - no idea why you had to sell up - was that your horse in your advatar?

The horse world moves on a at a rapid pace, and lets be honest with you if you are a good rider the offers will be less than forthcoming as no one wants to see someone ride their horse better than you.

As for your old beastie.... well it is early days and it is often said it takes a year to get to know them... in my case with my big pudding of an egit it has taken a good 2 and a half years and was it worth it - a great big yes !

Chin up - the darkest hour is just for dawn, and it cant always be 4 am !

GW

 

[WinniethePoo]

Just wanted to say Shelley, I know exactly how you feel, and just how low it can make you feel but there is light at the end of the tunnel! I moved quite a distance a few years ago, new and horrendously big mortgage, no money, and no way of affording my own horse again, after having one for the previous 20 odd years.
But, after seeing a chance remark on facebook, I emailed and found a lovely now friend that has 6 horses and ponies that her children compete. She needed someone to help with the day to day hacking out and general stable work. It's been a lifeline for me and I'm really enjoying it, it costs me nothing, other than any contribution I want to make as and when I can, and mucking out and poo picking, and I get to ride every weekday.
No, it's not the same as having your own, but it's great fun, a good laugh and with none of the expense.
I'm sure there will be someone out there that needs some help, it just might take a while to find them, Good Luck, pity you're not near us, it's a case of the more the merrier.

 

[whiteclover]

Thanks Hobbitpony for putting things into perspective for me I don't actually want to compete at affliated level anymore. I've just turned 40 and I love M&M's and would love another welsh cob or highland to hack, RC and show at local level.

My life without a horse at the moment is sooooo boring and I don't seem to have a purpose in life, my biggest fear is that I am becoming lazy and the thought of having to muck out and go out to the horse 2/3 times a day is really not great at the moment.

I have thought about booking a riding lesson... may be this would be a good idea??

Thats exactly how I feel. Im really bored too. Id book a lesson and see how you feel after that. I hope you sort it out soon.

 

[mystiandsunny]

Christmas isn't so far away. If you can afford it now, or even then, I'd share. Part of the worry of getting another might well be 'what if I get attached and then have to sell up again' and sharing a horse has less time/cost involved so less likely. Once you've shared for a while and got back into it all, and know that whatever made you have to sell up is well in your past - then buy another. There are shares where the horse is on part livery and you just have to ride, shares where the horse is out at grass so minimal chores, so doesn't have to be back breaking to get back into it all.

 

[mulledwhine]

I like that saying ' the darkest hour in not just for dawn' I think that says it all x

 

[Hobbitpony]

Thanks Hobbitpony for putting things into perspective for me I don't actually want to compete at affliated level anymore. I've just turned 40 and I love M&M's and would love another welsh cob or highland to hack, RC and show at local level.

My life without a horse at the moment is sooooo boring and I don't seem to have a purpose in life, my biggest fear is that I am becoming lazy and the thought of having to muck out and go out to the horse 2/3 times a day is really not great at the moment.

I have thought about booking a riding lesson... may be this would be a good idea??

I really do sympathise with you. Sometimes I get frustrated that I can't do as much horsey stuff as I like. I'd also love a native pony for RC hacking and hunting. I'm sure we will both get what we want in the end.
I found a really good riding school which has school masters at elementary/medium level dressage so not riding school plods. I find a good lesson when you learn something new does give you a bit of a motivational boost and reminds me I can still actually ride. I go every now and again when I can afford it and I love it.

 

[Tnavas]

shelley8697 and daisydo - please keep taking your happy pills. I too have clinical depression and battled for decades believing that I was tough enough to deal with it without help. The day I finally agreed to take the pills was the turning point in my life and the best thing I have ever done.

At times you will question why you should take them but just look at it the one organ in your body is not producing sufficient of the right chemicals to keep you healthy - the pills replace that missing chemical. I look at it now that if I was diabetic I would have no hesitation in taking insulin to keep me healthy, please just look at it in the same way.

You deserve to have a happy life and to enjoy every moment. I know I have changed my life - I love it and live it now to the full.

Shelley8697 it is hard when you move away from friends - I came to New Zealand from the UK. My first stop when I arrived was to find riding centres so that I could get my horse fix. There I met like minded people and started finding new friends. Is there a riding school near where you are now where you could go for a visit - maybe offer to help out at weekends, after work or maybe find the local RDA. Horses have a way of getting people together and for helping us make new friends.

 

[aintgotnohay]

if you lived near me id let your ride one of mine.i really should have one but have 2 and cant part with either of them.

 

[Ibblebibble]

shelley8697 and daisydo - please keep taking your happy pills. I too have clinical depression and battled for decades believing that I was tough enough to deal with it without help. The day I finally agreed to take the pills was the turning point in my life and the best thing I have ever done.

At times you will question why you should take them but just look at it the one organ in your body is not producing sufficient of the right chemicals to keep you healthy - the pills replace that missing chemical. I look at it now that if I was diabetic I would have no hesitation in taking insulin to keep me healthy, please just look at it in the same way.

You deserve to have a happy life and to enjoy every moment. I know I have changed my life - I love it and live it now to the full.

.

same here, been on the happy tabs for about 9 years now, about a year ago i reduced myself to one everyother day and it's just keeping me level without being numb i once mentioned to my Dr that i felt annoyed with myself for having to take tablets to function normally and she used the diabetes analogy and it made me realise that it's not a failing to have to take those little pills

Shelley i'm sure you will get your horsey mojo back, sounds like you've been through a bit of a rough time and had to make some big changes, 6 months is hardly any time at all in the big scheme of things

 

[shelley8697]

I know the diabetic saying well - i'm type 2, found out 10 years ago and still struggling to control it.....

 

[indi4]

There are loads of people around who welcome help with there horses in return for riding, put an ad in free ads I had loads of people reply who were desperate for there horses just to be exercised no costs Involed