Being rude to certain teenage members of the forum

R2R said:
L-F - I know my post triggered you to post this, it doesnt matter! I am still curious to know what you would do with her if she was on your yard mind you :D
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If she asked for my advice I would give it to her. If she ignored it I would probably sigh, but also accept that she was not able to take it for whatever reason. Then I wouldn't do anything else.
 
I don't agree either. I'm all for the learning curve, I'm only 20 myself, but I'm surrounded by a wealth of knowledge at home, and even though it is irritating when my mother has corrected me at every turn, it was needed, for the horse's sake more than anything.
I'm not sure how you do the whole horse thing without having a constant knowledge bank, because I've never had to, but I would be concerned for the horse given this girl knows as little as she does, regardless of age, for her sake also, as she did almost end up being booted in the stomach for it.
 
RunToEarth said:
I don't agree either. I'm all for the learning curve, I'm only 20 myself, but I'm surrounded by a wealth of knowledge at home, and even though it is irritating when my mother has corrected me at every turn, it was needed, for the horse's sake more than anything.
I'm not sure how you do the whole horse thing without having a constant knowledge bank, because I've never had to, but I would be concerned for the horse given this girl knows as little as she does, regardless of age, for her sake also, as she did almost end up being booted in the stomach for it.
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Good for you - though I am sure people could find lots of things to give you advice about just by looking at pictures from you and your horse should you ask - it is the nature of the horsey community! It is for example, possible that this girl's instructor is just as experienced as your mother.
 
I really wish these teenagers would learn to spell correctly. Anyone who can't spell "tried" and "me" doesn't deserve any respect on a forum.

What on earth do they teach them in schools these days? Even the stupidest children at my primary school mastered basic spelling.
 
little_flea said:
Having followed the ongoing drama surrounding the poster BSJAShowjumper123 I now feel compelled to say something. Some of you are just unbelievably rude to this girl.

She is not abusing the horse for goodness sake, she is a teenager learning!

Most of us didn't come out of the womb as perfectly formed riders who instinctively know how to correctly school a horse. Most of us could do some things better and be better riders - the fact the OP comes on here asking for advice surely is positive? She is taking some of it on board, and some more will sink in with time. Yes it would be wonderful if every single horse in Britain was ridden in perfect balance, in a snaffle, but until then, people will continue loving their horses and do the best they can based on their current level of knowledge.

Telling the OP that she is destroying her horse and shouldn't be riding it is not helpful, and it is also rude and likely to have the opposite effect. Most riders I see at unaffiliated level or not competing are no better or no worse than this - get over yourselves.

It may be impossible for you to understand why this girl is not following all of your lovely advice, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and she really does seem to be trying. This has turned in to a bit of a witch hunt and you have to remember that the OP is very young. The fact that she is trying to take at least some of your advice on board is positive. Whenever advice is given online you have to filter through it and assess what of it will be useful/possible for you to change - don't take the fact that this poster isn't blindly following a schooling plan devised by a number of strangers off the internet as a personal insult or a sign of the OP being "beyond help".
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After reading this from you OP I went and did a bit of research and have read and given what I thought was advice to a very young teenager possibly about 12/13. But looking at the vids posted today she looks quite old enough to get to the stables on a push bike but does need to seriously consider listening to advice given. As one was posted at 9.20ish this morning obviously not at school so must have done exams and out to play:confused:
 
I think that the teenager in question is quite an attention seeking individual to be honest; if the posts were so offensive to her then I don't believe she would bother to ask anymore; yet time and again there is some issue that crops up (horse rushing, rider too big queries, horse kicking, which bit) and every time there seems to be advice that is ignored or given excuses as to why it's impossible, then a similar post is made in the not too distant future.:rolleyes:

I don't think I'll be bothering replying to those threads in the future, seems a waste of my time and for those others who have bothered to reply.
 
BSJAlove said:
i dont agree. when she first posted asking for advice, loads of people gave her valuable feedback and tips to improve her riding. she ignored it. she then asked for advice in another area. she ignored it. IMO if she was 14 or 40, she is asking but not taking on board what everyone is saying. im trying to be polite to her but my patience is wearing thin. no she is not 'abusing' her horse and its totally up to her what she does. but the fact she is asking for help, getting it and ignoring it is bloody annoying.
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I fully 100% agree with this!!
 
Rueysmum said:
I really wish these teenagers would learn to spell correctly. Anyone who can't spell "tried" and "me" doesn't deserve any respect on a forum.

What on earth do they teach them in schools these days? Even the stupidest children at my primary school mastered basic spelling.
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Erm, sorry Rueysmum, but spelling in general and typing on a keyboard are totally different, it's very easy to make a simple mistake when typing. I'm sure even you make mistakes sometimes, I do too, does that mean that I don't deserve any respect?



Completely agree with you little_flea! People have been totally awful towards BSJASJ123. Everyone is caught up in the pelham debate, saying she will ruin the horse, after she posted the video of herself riding. However, many people failed to recognise the fact that the video was OLD and she has since had lessons and has improved, yet posters still critted her, told her to put the horse in a snaffle, and even told her to ditch the instructor, who I'm pretty sure knows the horse more than some stangers on the internet :rolleyes:

She only wants some advice, people.
 
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I think I would be inclined to give my two penneth then if it was ignored just not bother again. I certainly couldn't be botherd winding myself into a frenzy about it.

Maybe if everyone stopped responding with such passion if they are attention seeking posts then that would surely knock them on the head?
 
Teenager or not - you have a massive responsibilty with a horse. Grow up and treat it with the respect and help it deserves instead of charging around and then moaning about it online. Any normal person would just get a good intructor and be done with it.
 
I feel sorry for her tbh some members have been downright rude to her. I havent offered advice to her as I dont feel I am experienced or could communicate it effectively.
As for comments about her spelling we all make mistakes!
Good on her for wanting to learn new things.

She is braver than me .... one thing to remember I aint never posting videos of me riding ....
 
katie_and_toto said:
Erm, sorry Rueysmum, but spelling in general and typing on a keyboard are totally different, it's very easy to make a simple mistake when typing. I'm sure even you make mistakes sometimes, I do too, does that mean that I don't deserve any respect?



/QUOTE]

Katie, I am not tarring you with the same brush. In fact, I have always been impressed with your spelling and grammar. Sadly, though, you are in the minority.

If people can't even communicate properly in their own language, what hope is there for them later in life?
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Rueysmum said:
I really wish these teenagers would learn to spell correctly. Anyone who can't spell "tried" and "me" doesn't deserve any respect on a forum.

What on earth do they teach them in schools these days? Even the stupidest children at my primary school mastered basic spelling.
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I certainly hope you haven't been teaching them 'words' like 'stupidest', I don't think it exists does it...?
 
little_flea said:
Good for you - though I am sure people could find lots of things to give you advice about just by looking at pictures from you and your horse should you ask - it is the nature of the horsey community! It is for example, possible that this girl's instructor is just as experienced as your mother.
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Yes I agree, and I am perfectly happy for people to give structured advice on any of my posts, I don't profess to be any kind of expert. But teenager or grown woman, a person leaves themselves very open to comments when the start a thread titled "what do you do when you know your horse is too small for you?". Honestly words fail me, if a person does not know what to do when a horse is too small for them I honestly would question how this person has a horse, and how qualified their instructor is.
 
I'm actually wondering what this thread is REALLY trying to achieve. It is perfectly obvious (well, to me anyway) that it will cause ructions and encourage people to argue. I don't quite understand what it's got to do with OP anyway? If the HHO member it refers to had a problem with the way some have communicated with her, she would change her ways. I feel she enjoys the attention and am sure she doesn't need someone else to chastise the rest of the forum members.

Open forum, opinions very welcome, if sometimes taken with a pinch of salt. Lesson in growing up.

FWIW I don't think people have been any more harsh then they have been with other members of similar ages. I also understand why a lot of the comments have been made. It is always worth remembering that the written word can easily be taken the wrong way as emphasis cannot be put on certain words as they would in a spoken conversation.

Happy days :D
 
Rueysmum said:
katie_and_toto said:
Erm, sorry Rueysmum, but spelling in general and typing on a keyboard are totally different, it's very easy to make a simple mistake when typing. I'm sure even you make mistakes sometimes, I do too, does that mean that I don't deserve any respect?



/QUOTE]

Katie, I am not tarring you with the same brush. In fact, I have always been impressed with your spelling and grammar. Sadly, though, you are in the minority.

If people can't even communicate properly in their own language, what hope is there for them later in life?
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Well I'll just shoot myself now then shall I?.... seen as I lead a hopeless existence in life. :D
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well after this girls behaviour towards a member of another forum i feel little sympathy :D
i dont think people should get hung up on spelling, but i feel that she needs to start listening.
 
re spelling - im 42, have a good degree and a responsible job. Trouble is im rubbish at typing - at work i have autocorrect - its not that i cant spell but my fingers wont go as fast as my mouth!!! Tbh at home when im on forums i cant be bothered going back to correct my mistakes - sorry Miss!!! :p
 
little_flea said:
Gosh. Some of you are HARSH. You have just reminded me why I don't venture out of Competition Riders much. :-(
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Do you expect people to get on and agree all of the time? surely, being the OP, you knew this would kick up yet more fuss about a member known for being an utter idiot.
Competition riders don't dress things up in pink fluffy ribbons, it's the best bit of the forum.
 
this memeber has been horrid to someone i am friends with on anither forum, caused no end to the amoount of trouble, and ignored all decent advise
and then you post about this causing more trouble.
go figure
 
RunToEarth said:
Do you expect people to get on and agree all of the time? surely, being the OP, you knew this would kick up yet more fuss about a member known for being an utter idiot.
Competition riders don't dress things up in pink fluffy ribbons, it's the best bit of the forum.
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Of course i don't expect everyone to agree - I just find the behaviour and tone used by some posters towards this young person pretty appalling. I wanted to state that not all of us on here think it is ok to behave like some people have.
 
I also feel she is being given a bit of a hard time. I agree that she doesn't take advice well, but that is her choice.

Like her thread this moring asking if she looked big. Many people decided to critique her riding skills :confused: She didn't ask for that. Give her a break, she's learning.:)
 
I think she is trying to say that her previous actions are why people are rude to her.
I'm all for people needing advice and this place is such a wonderful place, but there is only so much advice you can offer out, only to have it thrown back at you before you start to get quite annoyed with people. After all, what is the point in asking for something you have no intention to use?
 
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