Being rude to certain teenage members of the forum

cloudandmatrix said:
i just find it ironic that we a;ll complain that she causes trouble, then you post about us being rude and cause yet more trouble.
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Right. I have missed out the bit about BSJA123... causing trouble. And like I said, I don't have any intention of "causing trouble" - I merely wanted to make a point about rudeness and lack of empathy. Which I believe I have done now, so I shall leave it.
 
sarahsum1 said:
I also feel she is being given a bit of a hard time. I agree that she doesn't take advice well, but that is her choice.

Like her thread this moring asking if she looked big. Many people decided to critique her riding skills :confused: She didn't ask for that. Give her a break, she's learning.:)
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Today's was her second or third thread asking if she was too big for her horse.
 
little_flea

RunToEarth has done some mad stuff, bad stuff and downright stupid stuff, (sorry, R, but you have to admit you have aged some of us on here with your antics!) but never has she been hauled up for reckless and ignorant 'use' of her horse. She'd be the first to own up anyway, and wouldn't need half the forum to wrap it up in honey before telling her like it really is.

She takes criticism on the chin, and can usually string a coherent sentence (with correct spelling and punctuation) together.
 
brighteyes said:
RunToEarth

You are never 20.... where have four years gone??????
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Ha, I know, I'm old and grown up,I have to catch flights all by myself, look after my own passport, I hoover the house and make supper for OH, depressing! I worked out I've had Oshk five years now, my god! Starting to hit me I have one year left as a student and then I really will have to be a grown up...!
 
RunToEarth said:
Yes I agree, and I am perfectly happy for people to give structured advice on any of my posts, I don't profess to be any kind of expert. But teenager or grown woman, a person leaves themselves very open to comments when the start a thread titled "what do you do when you know your horse is too small for you?". Honestly words fail me, if a person does not know what to do when a horse is too small for them I honestly would question how this person has a horse, and how qualified their instructor is.
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With all due respect, I think the thread was more along the lines of 'how do you know if you're too big for your horse?' rather than "what do you do when you know your horse is too small for you?".

(reply to the thread as a whole)
FWIW I've watched people at county level have more gadgets and ride far far worse. She's a teenager FHS. At least she's asking for advice. Rather that than she gets berated and never asks again.
How many people here have unhorsey parents and age 14 would have given their back teeth for a horse? Would you truly have then bossed your parents saying "you MUST get up earlier and take me to the yard!"? afterall, unhorsey parents wouldn't understand why. I know for sure had I told my parents not only did they have to pay for the animal but had to get themselves out of bed earlier i'd have had a thick ear for my cheek! :rolleyes:(and my mum's horsey!!) Perhaps her yard isn't within cycling distance?

I do think some of the replies could have been made with more thought. or perhaps the old addage: 'If you haven't anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'
 
brighteyes said:
little_flea

RunToEarth has done some mad stuff, bad stuff and downright stupid stuff, (sorry, R, but you have to admit you have aged some of us on here with your antics!) but never has she been hauled up for reckless and ignorant 'use' of her horse. She'd be the first to own up anyway, and wouldn't need half the forum to wrap it up in honey before telling her like it really is.

She takes criticism on the chin, and can usually string a coherent sentence (with correct spelling and punctuation) together.
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Oh god I'll be the first to admit it, I think I have calmed down slightly (on and off of the horse) but I put my mother in all kinds of hell with my hedge hopping, inventive and completely stupid things I have done with my coloured horse (it's his fault, he doesn't say NO to anything ;) )
But I think the world of him and it has been a learning curve for the two of us. I think the most hideous thing was jumping a round bale- I didn't see the dangers, and it is people on here that pick you up on things like that. I'm happy to hold my hands up, whenever I'm in the wrong (although I won't back down about the hat debate, sorry to dissapoint.)
 
I havn't read the entirity of this post, but to add my two cents:

Teenagers should be banned from forums for their own good. Having been through it myself, the damage these places do to a young person's confidence is shocking. Until you're old enough to be able to take everything you read with a pinch of salt and understand the egotisical nature of forums and blogging, you really shouldn't risk yourself there. These are not suitable places to be for someone still at school, and still learning how to communicate and interact in the world.
 
MissSBird said:
I havn't read the entirity of this post, but to add my two cents:

Teenagers should be banned from forums for their own good. Having been through it myself, the damage these places do to a young person's confidence is shocking. Until you're old enough to be able to take everything you read with a pinch of salt and understand the egotisical nature of forums and blogging, you really shouldn't risk yourself there. These are not suitable places to be for someone still at school, and still learning how to communicate and interact in the world.
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I'm 32 and still only half way to acheiving this ^^^ :D
 
I'll say what i said on the other thread...

Why do you all keep replying? If she won't take your advice then ignore her and let her posts die a death like many many others on here who genuinely want feedback.
 
I think that people keep replying because they like attacking someone. Horsey people are well known for that!

I haven't seen the posts where she upset another poster. From where I look she's just another typical teenager. I'd be quite happy having her on my yard. From what I can gather her parents aren't that involved with her riding. I once suggested she went to pony club and she said she'd joined before and her parents wouldn't take her to the rallies. So I think she's a bit bored and lonely. Run to Earth, if you've put your mother through the mill going wild on your pony, I'd expect you to be more understanding - perhaps if you hadn't had your mother's influence you would have ended up an "utter idiot" too. You've been very lucky. MissSBird I have to say that I agree about teenagers on forums. It would be nice to have ages on here so you know when you're talking to a youngster. It would cause less problems! I will probably upset the 18-20 year olds saying that! I thought I was grown up and knew everything when I was 18. It took me about another 18 years to realise that I didn't!

To be honest, who would really seek advice on a forum? You may ask for ideas, but how can anyone really assess someone from a few photos and videos? The teenager in question does have an instructor, so is getting help with her horse. Half of the questions she asks about competing are mostly dreams, as most of us can see. As Itsme123 said, If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say it. And if you must say it, please think of how you are wording it and how you would feel if someone said that to you...
 
I think the fact she's a teenager is irrelevant IMO. This is an adult based forum, and by joining teenagers must act like adults (Apart from in the Common Room) so, when asking for advice, the adult thing would be to take it on board and act upon it. And not ignore it, wasting a lot of posters time. This, I think is why so many posters are hacked off. Although I do agree, maybe a few posts could be better worded :)
 
Brontie said:
I think the fact she's a teenager is irrelevant IMO. This is an adult based forum, and by joining teenagers must act like adults (Apart from in the Common Room) so, when asking for advice, the adult thing would be to take it on board and act upon it. And not ignore it, wasting a lot of posters time. This, I think is why so many posters are hacked off. Although I do agree, maybe a few posts could be better worded :)
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This ^

If you're going to interact in a largely adult world, you need to make an effort to act like one.
 
Honey08 said:
I think that people keep replying because they like attacking someone. Horsey people are well known for that!

I haven't seen the posts where she upset another poster. From where I look she's just another typical teenager. I'd be quite happy having her on my yard. From what I can gather her parents aren't that involved with her riding. I once suggested she went to pony club and she said she'd joined before and her parents wouldn't take her to the rallies. So I think she's a bit bored and lonely. Run to Earth, if you've put your mother through the mill going wild on your pony, I'd expect you to be more understanding - perhaps if you hadn't had your mother's influence you would have ended up an "utter idiot" too. You've been very lucky. MissSBird I have to say that I agree about teenagers on forums. It would be nice to have ages on here so you know when you're talking to a youngster. It would cause less problems! I will probably upset the 18-20 year olds saying that! I thought I was grown up and knew everything when I was 18. It took me about another 18 years to realise that I didn't!

To be honest, who would really seek advice on a forum? You may ask for ideas, but how can anyone really assess someone from a few photos and videos? The teenager in question does have an instructor, so is getting help with her horse. Half of the questions she asks about competing are mostly dreams, as most of us can see. As Itsme123 said, If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say it. And if you must say it, please think of how you are wording it and how you would feel if someone said that to you...
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If she was playing golf or doing anything which didn't involve the ruination of a horse, I would have nothing to say on the matter.

RTE is a capable rider who has always had good instruction and half an idea and has quietened Osk down considerably. My two children pulled dangerous stunts but dangerous only to themselves and never threatened the welfare of their ponies. EVER. And they have remained considerate to them.

BSJA1234 is an attention-seeking brat who has no intentions of improving her attitude or putting any effort into her skill in the saddle.
 
With reference to people telling her to get a new instructor, I think they are spot on. As a kid, you assume your instructor is good, knows what they are talking about etc. If your parents are not horsey, they assume the same. As you grow in knowledge and experience, you realize that there are some absolute horrors out there, and frankly, it helps to be told this now, not 5 years down the line when the damage is done.

I've taught plenty of teenagers, and as this girl has clearly been riding some time (that is more than a month or two), I have to conclude the instructor is at fault for not nailing down the utter basics - being on the correct diagonal is something that should be taught almost as soon as trot is introduced - for someone who is jumping 2', clearly they should know such a basic thing by now. With a good instructor, such things become second nature, habit - if it had been done once in the videos, fine, everyone has a moment of distraction here and there, but it was consistently wrong with no attempt at correction.

The other thing that should be drilled in, long before you are flying over barrels, is working with correct bend, there are plenty of times the horse is looking completely the wrong way. Again, this is something you start working on, even if you are not 100% aware that you are doing it at the beginning, very early on.

On similar notes, position, jumping position and line into fences, but perhaps not to the same degree.

As a teenager I ended up pretty messed up in hospital as a result of an incompetent instructor. She was an AI, so not some random off the street, but she was stupid, plain and simple, and her negligence in setting up fences landed me in hospital, and it was by the grace of god that the horse didn't end up breaking a leg. I wish someone had told me they were a bad instructor, instead of finding out the hard way.

Criticizing the teen herself is perhaps not the most productive thing to do - at that age, as a novice rider, you don't know what you don't know, and that job is for the instructor. I do think that advice from a forum can be useful, it didn't exist when I was a teen, but I do see some good things said by people on here that I think can be valuable if used in the correct way.
 
little_flea said:
Most riders I see at unaffiliated level or not competing are no better or no worse than this - get over yourselves.

QUOTE]

I find this comment insulting. I ride at unaffiliated because I have one veteran horse and one youngster coming on. I have seen riders at affiliated level competition who are only there because they had the money to buy a ready made push-button horse. Please do not patronise those who ride at unaffiliated level.
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Don`t know the history of this poster..but by golly you lot are unbelievably nasty and rude! I will assume you are ALL top competitive riders??
 
I am a novice rider and joined this forum to ask questions and learn whatever i can from expereinced members
I would not ask for advice them plainly ignore it - that is rude whatever your age
 
little_flea said:
Having followed the ongoing drama surrounding the poster BSJAShowjumper123 I now feel compelled to say something. Some of you are just unbelievably rude to this girl.

She is not abusing the horse for goodness sake, she is a teenager learning!

Most of us didn't come out of the womb as perfectly formed riders who instinctively know how to correctly school a horse. Most of us could do some things better and be better riders - the fact the OP comes on here asking for advice surely is positive? She is taking some of it on board, and some more will sink in with time. Yes it would be wonderful if every single horse in Britain was ridden in perfect balance, in a snaffle, but until then, people will continue loving their horses and do the best they can based on their current level of knowledge.

Telling the OP that she is destroying her horse and shouldn't be riding it is not helpful, and it is also rude and likely to have the opposite effect. Most riders I see at unaffiliated level or not competing are no better or no worse than this - get over yourselves.

It may be impossible for you to understand why this girl is not following all of your lovely advice, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and she really does seem to be trying. This has turned in to a bit of a witch hunt and you have to remember that the OP is very young. The fact that she is trying to take at least some of your advice on board is positive. Whenever advice is given online you have to filter through it and assess what of it will be useful/possible for you to change - don't take the fact that this poster isn't blindly following a schooling plan devised by a number of strangers off the internet as a personal insult or a sign of the OP being "beyond help".
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Not read the humungous thread just this, and yes well said OP.
 
Rueysmum said:
Katie, I am not tarring you with the same brush. In fact, I have always been impressed with your spelling and grammar. Sadly, though, you are in the minority.

If people can't even communicate properly in their own language, what hope is there for them later in life?
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Thankyou :D
I'm going to try not to get involved in this, but why don't we all just drop it now? There's no use in dragging it on and on :)
 
Some people on this forum remind me of those that sit and watch someone schooling their horse and just rip them apart, whilst their horse stands tied outside its stable all afternoon before being returned to the field unridden. :rolleyes:
 
Brighteyes - my point is RTE has good back up and support, the other girl doesn't. The fact that she's attention seeking on here all the time says it all. We've ALL done silly things on ponies when young. As a PC instructor I've seen a million kids just like BSJA123. The horse she is on is fine, not being harmed. There are many pictures on here of other people not riding very well.
As I said before, try and word things in a nicer way...
 
I never post on this forum ok i think once with what i thought was thoughtful advice on headshaking. I think the response to the said teenager is a disgrace i have to say something that always amuses me is the fact that the more posts you have made in some way seems to make you more respected and know more in some way, this is of course utter rubbish some of the worst horseman have the most shall we say chat or more patter than a rainstorm. I learnt to ride before i can remember have ridden all kinds of horses family have been involved in all types of horse care competing racing hunting riding schools breaking everything you can think of and woud never attack another rider in this way. I think and i may be wrong but with horss there is always people who love to give advice to people who have less experience than them. One thing i would love to know is how do we know all the experts on these forums giving advice apart from the amount of posts they have made what makes them right, true horsemen are quiet like to help dont need public attention and work towards helping horses and riders to improve in their own quiet way at the end of the day it is very easy to be an expert on one of these forums where very few people know you i apoogise in advance to any top jockeys eventers showjumpers dressage riders etc also for any spelling mistakes grammar or just piss£ng off any know it alls. Enjoying weekend drink but had to comment how teenage you are being by attacking said evil teenager end of rant :eek:
 
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