Best quote you've heard a "non-horsey" person say?

Working with horses and the public I get some classics. Here are two of the best.
A know-it-all type of chap admiring the pair of heavies I was driving, describing them as perfect examples of the Suffolk breed, and give him his due he was able to recite the breed standard of a Suffolk. Trouble was - I was driving Shires.
A lovely lady coming up to me at a woodland event where I was horse logging. - 'Would your horse like some dog biscuits?'
 
A little boy visited our yard and was watching the geldings in the field when one of them decided he wanted a wee. The little boy got very excited and shouted:
"Mummy, mummy that horse has got a fold-away willy. I want one!"

His mum was mortfied, we were laughing too much to console her!
 
Oooo I do have a lot of non horsey friends.

"Is it a boy or girl"
"Don't be stupid horses aren't boys or girls, you just refer to it as 'it' don't you?!"
ermmm sure.

Then there's my dad "I'll be at Badminton eventing Darcy next summer just you wait" Darcy my ex racer dressage puff :rolleyes:

And someone in the army - "Jesus christ keep me away from that bloody evil thing" *Bolts himself inside stable* :cool: ;)
 
annagain said:
A little boy visited our yard and was watching the geldings in the field when one of them decided he wanted a wee. The little boy got very excited and shouted:
"Mummy, mummy that horse has got a fold-away willy. I want one!"

His mum was mortfied, we were laughing too much to console her!
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hahahaha that is quality! :p
 
My best one ever was this summer, we were in a Wetherspoons cos of getting internet to watch the dressage ( day 2 team), as my parents with whom we were staying don't have it. They actually showed some of the dressage (probably cos it was a Brit) on the main screen TV, and one of the family sitting on the next table said loudly : " Oooh look at that horse dancing! Does it have to be told what to do, or does it know what to do all by itself?"
Needless to say, Sophie and I started cracking up, but I did manage to say quite politely that it was a bit more complicated than that :)
 
"I thought you could ride, why are you still having lessons? aren't you any good?"

"why don't you just ride your friends horses from time to time and save all the money?" (logic from my brother)

Why do you shave off all the hair and then put lots of coats on your horse?

how old is your horse? (normally looking at the old one).. then how long do they live for (thanks!)

why on earth do you need 2 horses? you can't ride both (brother again, one horse is semi retired...)
 
My husband took me to buy a body protector after I had a nasty fall. The sales assistant asked how she could help us. Husband instantly announced that we were there to buy armour, lol! But he did buy me a lovely aerowear, so I'm not really complaining:)
 
Crugeran Celt said:
All 5 of mine do!! The rest of you must be doing something wrong:D
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Haha I hate to say it but mine does too... I've only had him a week and a half and pretty sure its only because I have bribed him (yes yes, naughty I know... And possibly a rod for my own back!!). He was difficult to catch in his previous home so have been catching him with a carrot to get him into the habit of coming to me. I have however, now stopped 'dangling the carrot' so this neighing / coming up to me business may well end very shortly!!
 
trakehnersrock! said:
My best one ever was this summer, we were in a Wetherspoons cos of getting internet to watch the dressage ( day 2 team), as my parents with whom we were staying don't have it. They actually showed some of the dressage (probably cos it was a Brit) on the main screen TV, and one of the family sitting on the next table said loudly : " Oooh look at that horse dancing! Does it have to be told what to do, or does it know what to do all by itself?"
Needless to say, Sophie and I started cracking up, but I did manage to say quite politely that it was a bit more complicated than that :)
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When the dressage was on in the summer, my friend who was genuinely interested said "But how do you get the horses to dance? ":D
 
Toast said:
My oh regularly calls jodhpurs 'joppers' bless him.
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my OH calls them 'droppers', i think he has some ill advised preconceptions of single female horsey girls!!

I used to keep a sec a and my dressage TB on my OH's parent's land. one day his mum asked me why the pony kept running round the field trying to do backflips (i.e bucking). Turns out OH's dad had been feeding said pony about 1kg of my tb's competition mix everyday without my knowledge.... amazingly she hasnt had lami and OH's dad has now been re-educated into not feeding her ANYTHING!
 
My favourite from work, just after I'd had a nasty fall from Ned and was feeling dizzy, thinking about going home..
"How on EARTH can you fall off a horse?"

It's very easy, I assure you.
 
My work colleagues are amazed I have to see to my horses every day. And were even more amazed when I said I would be going up to the stables even on Christmas Day!!!

This is normally followed by claims of how time consuming horses are.... to which I try to think of polite ways of saying horses are not as time consuming as the children they choose to have!
 
I also whistle mine in coming down the drive, can't see them but by the time I get the barn lights on they are squelching through the mud.
A colleague's daughter had her first horse and he came in full of it being shaved for the first time and wearing it's new coat
 
Another one I have remembered. Upon hearing that I had a lame horse my friend asked if he could do the Paralympic dressage now. Had to explain it was the riders not the horses which were disabled!
 
When talking about how much less grumpy my sister's youngster is now he's being fed more the YO's husband said 'he's a lot happier now you're feeding him more money' :D

Technically not from a non horsey person and it was a slip of the tongue but it still made me smile cause it's true ;)
 
The usual..... So you go down every day???!!!

Yes.

What about Christmas?!!

I give them a text and tell them to get their own damn food lol !!!

Honestly....
 
From a little boy leaning over the fence watching my horses grazing. 'when are your horses going to go on the rampage..?'

From a small girl I found in the field cuddling my arab's leg (eek!!) 'I like you horse. He smells like my tea.'. I dread to think what they have for tea in her household...
 
my sister when she first saw Brio: 'oh no, why has she got that hangman's hood on?'!! it was a sweetitch snuggy hood...
 
When we get delivery men or similar at the yard and there's a horse near by, you can see them eying it suspiciously until they pluck up the courage to say something like "Can I go near it? Can I touch it? Will it bite? They're much bigger when you're right next to them" and they nervously side step towards it... I ALWAYS have to resist the urge to loudly shout BOO!! just as they raise their hand to touch the bewildered horse haha!
 
On being asked by a family member what breed my horse was, I replied with TB.
Family member followed that by "well obviously, but what breed is he?"
Turns out he believed Thoroughbreds to be the name for 'big and posh' horses, or rather anything which isn't a native, from what I could gather.

He also asked a livery how small they had to cut up the straw to fit it in a bowl..
 
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