Bloody whelks. Bloody self pity. Bloody tomatohead.

Starzaan, it could be worse:

When I was a kid people used to cover me with cream and put cherries on my head. It was tough growing up in the gateau. :rolleyes:

Ok not that funny, but it did make me smile...

Hope you feel better soon. Could get you a whole load of sympathy from FF. :)
 
Rachiie said:
When FF comes, just casually mention to him how you've been so lonely and bored lying in bed all day, and that you'd kill for someone to visit you. Hopefully he'll take the hint and when he does come round you can be lying in bed looking all lovely dressed up in skimpy lacy nightie things :p
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Good plan. Just seduce him there and then, and since you're already in the bed he won't have far to go when one thing leads to another... ;)
 
I'll give you whelks to mad old bat!!! Careful... I'll stick my cannula in your eye and squeeze the drip bag thing so you are all sedated and mad...
 
I wouldn't mind a nightmare if the FF was in it... whelks and all!

I did spend half an hour talking to a picture of Lloyd Grossman yesterday, so I think we can safely say I'm off my head on these little drugolas!
 
oh Starzaan... it's not the whelks, or the drugs, or indeed the tomatohead inducing hair dye that's done this... its the after-effects of the de-waxed lemons catching up with you! :D

well if neither Muscly Mechanic nor FF had the decency to visit your bedside whilt you were nearly dying then you should have croaked a bit louder and I'm sure half of the madlesbiany bunch on here (myself included no doubt) would have come galumphing to your Damson-in-distress aid! :D
 
I now have an image of the FF shoeing a whelk whilst talking to Lloyd Grossman. I'm convinced Irn Bru has drugs in it ... would explain a LOT about Glasgow ...
 
Oh Starzan, what a complicated life you lead!!

Are you sure it was the hair dye and not a reaction to shell fish?

I'm afraid Mr Mechanic has gone down in my estimation, he should have ignored your comments about not wanting him to see you in such a state and have rushed to your side in the ICU and fed you pureed grapes!

As the others have said is this not a good opportunity to win FF over on the sympathy vote and once you've got him and are feeling better unleash the morags in their full glory and he will be yours!!

Failing that how about the Doctor? Sounds keen if he is making house calls and he has seen you at your worst so now can only be dazzled by the morags and tassles and welly dancing. And then Echo Bravo might have a use for her tasteful KP dress?
 
Poor, poor, poor, lovely confused in love lust Starzaan. (my attempt at sympathy).

I wonder if they had to do one of those allergy test things before deciding it was hair dye that did the damage.
It goes to show how careful you should be when trying too many new things at once, like Fit Farriers, hunky mechanics, toxic ex boyfriends, waxy lemons and Whelks :)
 
That's more like it.

I'm watching a ridiculous documentary about women morag feeding their seven year old children... I feel all normal...


I have just had a visit from my darling friend gay Matt.... and his first words when he walked into my bedroom of pain were "god you look even more **** that you did with a head the size of a taxi" .

Men are DELIGHTFUL
 
MrsM, I hope you get shut in the tumbley job. And spun around.

A lot.


You're all bloody useless.. HOW many of you voted for the mechanic?!?!

Pah pah pah!


(Living TV for the morag feeding... it's terrifying!)
 
Starzaan said:
I'm watching a ridiculous documentary about women morag feeding their seven year old children... I feel all normal...
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I think I've seen this one before... it certainly is one to make you feel less like a freak! Just like watching Jeremy Kyle makes me suddenly feel amazingly attractive, intelligent, funny and charming (and moralistic). I would watch it more often if I didn't feel so inclined to hunt down the participants with blunt and/or rusty weapons.
 
I swear to you all that his is a true story.. on the life of my youngest whelkling.

Today, at work, I was telling my persistant.. sorry, assistant.. the sad tale of Starzaan and her hair dye and told her to always patch test. She told me she did.. and went onto explain...


"I always cut off a bit of hair and test it first........ "


I tried to explain and she didn't get it. Maybe I better buy her whelks now, she will need them..
 
Ladyinred said:
I swear to you all that his is a true story.. on the life of my youngest whelkling.

Today, at work, I was telling my persistant.. sorry, assistant.. the sad tale of Starzaan and her hair dye and told her to always patch test. She told me she did.. and went onto explain...


"I always cut off a bit of hair and test it first........ "


I tried to explain and she didn't get it. Maybe I better buy her whelks now, she will need them..
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Should she be allowed out on her own??? :D I would laugh but I would upset a recovering kitty and his faithful kitten attendant. :rolleyes:
 
Starzaan,the thing that would chear me up no end in your position is the thought of taking the hair dye manufacturer to the cleaners. A few extra split ends... acceptable. An adverse colour reaction .. hmm ,could let that go. Nearly killing your customer ,a bit of a No No Really.:eek:
 
Clearly EB is really quite upset, that neither the KP pink sequinned bimbo number or the black slinky chicken feather extravaganza outfit ,are no longer appropriate.

The least she could do is buy a nice little Nurses outfit (most appropriate) and come and look after you (in a non mad special lesbiany way) :)
 
How rude... EB will of COURSE be needing her supersexy outfits at some point... but I would rather not look like I've been whacked repeatedly with a rock in the photos....
 
Starzaan said:
Wooowww....

has she ever been on Jeremy Kyle?
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I believe she is working on that in other areas of her life. Lovely girl, kind hearted and works her socks off.. but, 'special' She spent six months believing that an earwig had crawled into her ear one night and was feasting on her neural pathways...
 
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