Bonding with your horse - what does it mean to you?

I don't think I "do" bonding with my horse. Not as a specific aim. Doing stuff together or just rubbing along together while I'm on the yard helps us to bond. As in, learn to speak each other's body language, be totally comfortable in each other's company, be trusting etc.

I enjoy her company and can waste hours watching her eat hay or potter about the field, but that's for my pleasure more than hers I think! I don't think I would expect my horse to bond with me like a dog, though I know she follows my movements with interest, and she will sometimes seek my company. We have a comfortable (13 year!) relationship but it's on her terms. And I'm happy with that.
 
Everything to be honest. When I was horse shopping recently I described my perfect new horse as one I'd had for years.

I now have my new boy (3 weeks and counting), it's a scary exciting challenging time I'm sure someone younger and more confident would absolutely love but deep down I just want that bond now. I want to know what to expect and not have too many surprises.

Been there, done that now I just want to sit back and enjoy the ride :)
 
Camel reckons it means that the human may now be trusted to stand watch during nap time. Mammoth reckons it means the human is worth whickering to. Human would like it to mean that neither horse will choose grass over being caught in this summer, but is fully prepared for this not to be the case...:D
 
For me it means getting to know them, finding out their likes and dislikes both on the ground and under saddle. It is having experiences that are new to us as a team, though we each may have done the same activities with others, finding out the best way to go about things and how the horse and I fit together in life. It is finding out what worries them and trying to find ways to overcome those fears and building trust whilst we do that, or alter things to make life less stressful for them. We have a bond when I know that they will try their hardest to do as they are asked even if scared and they know that I will try my best to keep them safe at all times.
 
I've had my ex-racer almost 4 months, and its now starting to become visible at the bond we are gaining. Because I have a lack of self-confidence and have been out of the saddle almost 10 years, the bond is most important for me at those times when we are both nervous but seem to get each other through. Its always a joy when I turn up at the yard and he's there standing at the gate waiting for me and gives a little neigh when he see me. I really couldn't wish for a better relationship with him in such a short space of time :D
 
I don't think that different species can genuinely bond. I love Alf, but I don't have the same relationship with him as I have with other humans (that would be weird). He is keener on me than he is on other people, but that's because I feed him, give him carrots, and scratch his itchy bits. I'm under no illusions that given the choice, he'd rather be in the field with another horse, than tucked up in my living room with me.
 
Firefly9410 said:
For me it means getting to know them, finding out their likes and dislikes both on the ground and under saddle. It is having experiences that are new to us as a team, though we each may have done the same activities with others, finding out the best way to go about things and how the horse and I fit together in life. It is finding out what worries them and trying to find ways to overcome those fears and building trust whilst we do that, or alter things to make life less stressful for them. We have a bond when I know that they will try their hardest to do as they are asked even if scared and they know that I will try my best to keep them safe at all times.
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^^ This
 
Interesting answers and I definitely hope that my grey choses me over grass this summer too. She doesn't do it often, but there is nothing IME more frustrating than a horse that doesn't want to be caught and is really revelling in leading you a merry dance. *sigh*
 
Faracat said:
Interesting answers and I definitely hope that my grey choses me over grass this summer too. She doesn't do it often, but there is nothing IME more frustrating than a horse that doesn't want to be caught and is really revelling in leading you a merry dance. *sigh*
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Mine didn't even bother revelling; they just walked off slightly faster than I could hobble after them <pretty sure they were smirking> :( But I'm prepared for this year - I've got them hooked on carrots! :D
 
Wow this was my story too..I had a nine year gap then got my ex racer. She turned totally psycho on me two days after arriving and I was distressed to the eyeballs with what I'd done but she turned out to be a loyal amazing brave girl. Still miss her terribly despite my new arrival. Well done, I always applaud anyone who gives an ex racer a new life :)
 
I bond with my horse. At first a horse is well looked after, but is just a horse. I think it is once it has pulled me out the doo doo a few times that I really feel a bond. That might be when I see a duff stride, or if a HUGE tractor passes too close, or if I choose to ride in the wind when the horse has not been worked enough...... or any number of other of circumstances. Sometimes it is just when a horse turns up and is his wonderful self.

To me there is a tangible change when my feelings towards the horse stop being "workmanlike" or "professional" and he becomes a family member.

Edited to add - To me Bonding is about how I feel towards my horse. I do not expect him to become unnaturally attracted to me! Having said that, when I am consistent with them they can be at peace in my company. That does not mean I kiss him or anything (he would hate that) just that he can predict what I will do next, and he trusts that if all hell breaks loose then I will not lose my head and make the situation worse. To me that is what he has to offer in the bonding, peace.
 
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I don't want to "bond", I want to have horses which will do as I ask, not feel frightened when they do so and be confident that I am not the weird, irrational, incomprehensible (to horses) human. I have that. I'm not interested in whether they "like" me (they don't; they don't even like each other). If they whicker it's because they know there is food, they all come to call because they have been kindly treated, are not spoiled, over fed or under exercised. There is no mystery bond, it's just horsemanship.
 
With my youngster it's calling his name 100m from field, hearing his answering whinny and to arrive at field to find him waiting at the gate for me every day, come rain or shine. He is not interested in anyone else being near him (would be hard to steal!) unless I am there with him. He trusts my actions eg throwing hay over fence into ring feeder (usually standing right in the way so I have to throw it over his head or back) but will scarper if anyone does it.

So basically the fact he trusts and wants to be around me where he wouldn't even entertain the vast majority of others (with exception of Trainer!). I suppose it's a strange thing to like about him but the fact he even trusts anyone after what he's been through means so much, the fact he's chosen to trust me is a honour. :)
 
My horse knows my landrover. That's enough for me.


Or it's just that loud it wakes her up when I drive in I don't know but she doesn't bother about the many other vehicles that pass. :)
 
Illusion100 said:
With my youngster it's calling his name 100m from field, hearing his answering whinny and to arrive at field to find him waiting at the gate for me every day, come rain or shine. He is not interested in anyone else being near him (would be hard to steal!) unless I am there with him. He trusts my actions eg throwing hay over fence into ring feeder (usually standing right in the way so I have to throw it over his head or back) but will scarper if anyone does it.

So basically the fact he trusts and wants to be around me where he wouldn't even entertain the vast majority of others (with exception of Trainer!). I suppose it's a strange thing to like about him but the fact he even trusts anyone after what he's been through means so much, the fact he's chosen to trust me is a honour. :)
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^^awww :-)

For me it was when she stopped trying to buck me off haha! Well after having the same rider for 10years she was a bit 'who are you!?'
There was one defining moment when we were coming over the moors in the fog with stampeding horses and cows all around us, both petrified but looked after each other- she hugged me after!
I think once she realised what fun rides we were having and all the new places we went, and knew what was expected she just seems to try and please me now.
Sometimes she calls at me in the field and comes running over but I know that's only for food. But when I pick up a hoof pick and she stands there holding her foot up I think that's for me :-)
 
I'm another who is not looking to 'bond' with my horses although I do want good behaviour and respect for my space and in return I will provide the best environment for them that I can.

Having said that I have had horses who definitely seem to know that they are mine. One of my homebreds used to buck in his stable if he saw me going into the stable of another horse and would walk calmly next to me if his friends went galloping past when I was catching him in.
 
Mine are on full livery so i am sure they prefer the ladies who look after them on a daily basis so i am content with a whicker when i arrive at the yard and them pulling happy faces when i hit the right itchy spot.
 
I think it means very different things to different people. To me it means feeling comfortable with my horse, like pulling on a old pair of socks. Or maybe like an old married couple, you know what they are thinking and they know what you are thinking....you are a team. It certainly doesn't mean that I am afraid to ride my horse but then I am one of those strange people who thinks that owning a horse is about more then riding!
 
I know what he is going to do and he knows what I am going to do and we can both sort ourselves out when we get in a mess.

My new (ish) boy left his hard feed yesterday for an ear itch - made me feel really good and by the look of his top lip made him feel great too. It's the small stuff
 
For me it means I know their little habits, likes and dislikes. One of mine is grumpy, the other is much friendlier but I've had the grumpy one 7 years so despite his lack of outward affection I do feel we have bonded- he likes to shout at me across the yard for attention and I know him very well. I find taking him out inhand has helped us bond as he has to listen to me and put his trust in me in difficult situations so despite the fact that he is not the easiest to handle I can usually get him through his panics. My other one is just such a darling that it would be impossible not to bond with him. He was fairly reserved when I got him- well behaved but quiet, whereas now he actively seeks out a cuddle and shows much more character- in a very polite way! Owning is definitely about more than riding for me. My last one was probably the most visibly "bonded" to me- she would come galloping up to see me in the field, follow me around and I would take off her rugs and groom her in the field. When we went away anywhere she would shout at me constantly unless I stayed with her- in a way, she was much more trouble than my more apathetic gelding!
 
Sukistokes2 said:
I think it means very different things to different people. To me it means feeling comfortable with my horse, like pulling on a old pair of socks. Or maybe like an old married couple, you know what they are thinking and they know what you are thinking....you are a team. It certainly doesn't mean that I am afraid to ride my horse but then I am one of those strange people who thinks that owning a horse is about more then riding!
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Absolutely this ^
 
My mare isn't a 'cuddly' horse, positively hates being groomed! Little things, like her following me round the school when I am putting away poles, her constantly watching me whilst I do yard jobs if she is tied on the yard being shod, her sudden neighing when she's on the lorry at a showground and she spots me walking back towards her....these little things make me feel she feels something, hopefully security, in my presence.
 
I like to think I have a bond with Ned, whatever that means.
To me, it means that he trusts me to make the right choice, for instance if something scares him, he will look to me and if I say it's ok, then it must be fine.
Also, when I do silly things with him (dressing him up, painting him etc) that he'll just go with it and know I'm not doing anything to hurt him.
 
I think it just means getting to know them. I have had Lottie for 3 months now and I don't think that we could have a much better bond at this point, on the ground, I haven't had the chance to ride much.

I think she knows me as her person. Tonight I was a bit late to the yard and I stopped to chat to YO on the way in. I got shouted at (in pony speak) until I went to make a fuss of her. I'm under no illusions that it's probably food related but she doesn't do it with anyone else, so in the very least I'm the bringer of hay!!!

When I was horseless and pregnant I wanted to ride, but only on my old boy as I knew him and knew how he'd react to things. I didn't feel the need or want to ride any other horse. Obviously I didn't ride him as I'd sold him!!!
 
To me its that she trusts me+when she has one of her diva moments I can tell her to get over herself +she knows it's ok. She greets me with a whinny and she'll spot me coming onto the yard before she spots me. I do think we have a partnership and feel we don't have to battle to do nice ridden work. Sometimes she'll just stand resting her head on me wanting to be close
 
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