Bought a mis sold horse, is it worth pursuing?

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Emeraldmeadow said:
I have no problem accepting I just need to sell. I just wanted to check I didn't have a legal right to return the pony before doing so. What I've got does not match the advert at all. Ie. Says easy to catch in the advert but the pony is not. But I suppose you couldn't prove in court that it wasn't easy to catch when sold so I do understand why it's not possible. The pony is being properly looked after, fed, rugged and not neglected so I'm not sure why I need to feel guilty. I can't cope with a pony I can't catch and ride safely so has to go
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But you've only had the poor thing 2 weeks!
 
Emeraldmeadow said:
Vet said it's a parasitic infecrion. Can't afford sales livery it's so expensive
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I'm sure hes been feeling rather miserable because of this, I assume its being treated now. Give him some time to get over it. The itching must be driving him mad, which wot have helped. While hes recovering Do some ground work with him to build up the trust with you. Its highly possible he was good to catch in his previous home, hes only been with you two weeks.
 
After two weeks I would expect to be able to ride him safely yes. Understand he may be unsettled, spooky, not himself buy not being unable to handle properly and ride safely.
 
Emeraldmeadow said:
Thank you. That's really interesting and good to hear. Yes I am fully treating the skin problem. It doesn't seem to be in the tack areas but I know he is sore and doesn't know me so is nervous. I will give him a lot more patience and just put it down to the move. Once he's is settled I can then sell him unless I have a complete change of heart and he is conpletely different. Thanks again
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Maybe try to make his time around you really positive, i'm not talking basic care but to genuinely treat him like you like him, they can be sensitive souls and I can feel your disdain towards the poor pony from here.
 
Yes I'm not happy with him at all as he's causing me a whole lot of hassle and stress and money! It's hard to feel loving towards an animal that is giving you no joy whatsoever. I will make an effort though
 
Emeraldmeadow said:
Yes I'm not happy with him at all as he's causing me a whole lot of hassle and stress and money! It's hard to feel loving towards an animal that is giving you no joy whatsoever. I will make an effort though
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It is entirely and absolutely down to you to 'make an effort' as you put it! This is the principle of owning and caring for an animal! Since I cannot believe that anyone who had taken on this responsibility ( apparently twice judging by your other post) would not understand this I can only assume this is a post for some other purpose. I am sorry to be so personal but I am currently sitting with my 5 year old cat who just yesterday manifested a very serious heart condition. We will do absolutely everything we can for him ( including those difficult decisions) because that is what owning an animal is about. I know that there are other people who also do not understand this - please find someone who can care for this pony as quickly as possible. I know that you say that he/she is receiving appropriate nutrition etc., but that is not all that care is about. An animal knows if you care about them.
I do not usually get involved in the masses of criticism that can happen on this forum, but my own situation today put together with the way you are talking about the pony for whose life you are currently responsible has made me so upset. Apologies for the fact that I am being angry with a person I have not met.
 
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Merlod said:
Maybe try to make his time around you really positive, i'm not talking basic care but to genuinely treat him like you like him, they can be sensitive souls and I can feel your disdain towards the poor pony from here.
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You might find you want to keep him when he comes round to you :) . I know you were expecting something easy and for whatever reason it's not (not necessarily mis-sold) but it can be very rewarding and if you get there it can make a great bond. Give him a chance.
 
I agree that you should wait a bit, see if he settles and in the meantime do lots of groundwork and give him lots of love. He's probably stressed and in pain. He's not going to be himself. It's not his fault - he's not purposely making you 'feel no joy'. Most animals just want a bit of love and, with a bit of love and time, I'm sure he'll come right. Like jojo said, animals can sense if you care about them or if you're afraid of them or have disdain for them. If you take your time and don't expect miracles, it'll probably all work out in the end. But, if you're not willing to care about this poor little guy, then perhaps he is better off being sold on. With that though lies the uncertainty of what hands he'll fall into, especially if you're so quick and eager to get rid of him.
 
The problem is that your situation is not comparible at all. You have a 5 year old cat who is loved a d cherished as part of your family. That's totally different to having an unknown animal in your life for 2 weeks who has thus far tried to repeatedly squash you, kick you, given you a black eye and a whole load of heartache. So yes I don't feel the love or bond for this pony after 2 weeks like you do for your 5 year old cat, it's a ridiculous comparison.
 
Emeraldmeadow said:
The problem is that your situation is not comparible at all. You have a 5 year old cat who is loved a d cherished as part of your family. That's totally different to having an unknown animal in your life for 2 weeks who has thus far tried to repeatedly squash you, kick you, given you a black eye and a whole load of heartache. So yes I don't feel the love or bond for this pony after 2 weeks like you do for your 5 year old cat, it's a ridiculous comparison.
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It might be a ridiculous comparison if this was not the second horse that you have fallen out with and intend to get rid of in the last month.
 
Emeraldmeadow said:
The problem is that your situation is not comparible at all. You have a 5 year old cat who is loved a d cherished as part of your family. That's totally different to having an unknown animal in your life for 2 weeks who has thus far tried to repeatedly squash you, kick you, given you a black eye and a whole load of heartache. So yes I don't feel the love or bond for this pony after 2 weeks like you do for your 5 year old cat, it's a ridiculous comparison.
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The comparison is in the responsibility one should feel when taking on an animals life whether you have had that animal for two weeks, twenty weeks or ten years. The feeling you develop over time hopefully comes later. Unfortunately this pony is not behaving in the way you wish it to sadly. You still have the afore mentioned responsibility and I feel that the way in which you are expressing yourself shows that you did not consider this when you purchased this second pony just weeks after you had bought and passed on a previous one.

But... it is not my business. And you feel my post is ridiculous.
 
Couldn't stand my pony for the first 6 months of ownership - was a complete git. I still have him 16 years later....
 
Emeraldmeadow said:
The problem is that your situation is not comparible at all. You have a 5 year old cat who is loved a d cherished as part of your family. That's totally different to having an unknown animal in your life for 2 weeks who has thus far tried to repeatedly squash you, kick you, given you a black eye and a whole load of heartache. So yes I don't feel the love or bond for this pony after 2 weeks like you do for your 5 year old cat, it's a ridiculous comparison.
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I totally understand the frustration and disappointment you must be feeling, but like others I think it would be a good move to reassess your feelings towards the pony and its behaviour. He's not doing things deliberately to you, though it can feel personal at the time, horses just react to their mental or physical circumstances. He might not be the right horse for you in the end, but while you're stuck with each other, this could be a good time to learn not to take things personally and figure out how to get him into a happy place so that you can either work with each other, or at least show him off in his best light so you can sell him.

i also agree that they know if we like them or not. I wouldn't have entertained such a concept years ago having had very independent horses in my youth, but i've learned over the last few years that some horses definitely sense this, and they need to feel positivity towards them to develop the good behaviour and trust that we all seek. They also sense any desperation in their human partners... sometimes you can't force something, you have to wait and be patient.
Fake it till you make it, if need be.
 
milliepops said:
I totally understand the frustration and disappointment you must be feeling, but like others I think it would be a good move to reassess your feelings towards the pony and its behaviour. He's not doing things deliberately to you, though it can feel personal at the time, horses just react to their mental or physical circumstances. He might not be the right horse for you in the end, but while you're stuck with each other, this could be a good time to learn not to take things personally and figure out how to get him into a happy place so that you can either work with each other, or at least show him off in his best light so you can sell him.

i also agree that they know if we like them or not. I wouldn't have entertained such a concept years ago having had very independent horses in my youth, but i've learned over the last few years that some horses definitely sense this, and they need to feel positivity towards them to develop the good behaviour and trust that we all seek. They also sense any desperation in their human partners... sometimes you can't force something, you have to wait and be patient.
Fake it till you make it, if need be.
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This, with bells on. I went through a period with my younger mare where I absolutely hated her and was scared of her. She was supposed to be my easy horse while older mare was recovering from various lameness, then 3 months after I bought her she took a kick and started exhibiting defensive behaviour from the pain. She knocked my confidence and became standoffish and incredibly spooky. Several times I told my OH that I hated her and got no joy from her. I almost sold her. 13 months on and I'm so glad I didn't. We spent time building our trust in each other, I made the conscious decision to 'give her a chance' (yes, to stop being in pain and being confused about her numpty owner, how generous I am) and now all the bad behaviour is almost gone and we go out together and have fun.
You would not believe the effect that pain and insecurity can have on equine personality.
 
Emeraldmeadow said:
Thanks so much everyone. I have owned horses and competed up to intermediate eventing so not a novice owner for many years.
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Quote taken from your recent thread about the other horse which you bought and then soon decided that you had made a mistake. I believe that you were aiming that one at HOYs qualifiers. I'm surprised that someone as experienced as you is so flummoxed by a new horse settling in :).
 
Never had a horse be like this after 2 weeks. Ever. I got him specifically as a ploddy hacker. I don't have the time to compete or ride everyday hence getting a happy hacker schoolmates.
 
Were they all competition horses though, used to staying away at shows/comps?

IME, happy hackers/privately owned plods/whatever you want to call them, that live in one home for years with one person looking after and riding them, who don't stay away at shows, cope less well with moving home than comp type horses.
 
I have a lot of sympathy for you, OP. New horses settling can be totally overwhelming. Your expectations of this horse, who is highly likely to be distressed by a change in husbandry and handling, are unrealistic, however.

Sensitive horses are strange beings.

I had a client with a little New Forest for her 12yo daughter. 4 years old. We broke him in and he was super; never put a foot wrong. Bomb proof, easy, crawl under it and poke its belly type of pony. After about 1 years he moved yards and he was super; never put a foot wrong. They went to regular shows, etc, and he was super; never put a foot wrong. They decided to move to another yard - very similar set-up but with a school as they didn't have one. 6 months later I got the call for help. Horse had turned into a manic. Was rearing, lashing out. They swear nothing happened, he just got a bit worse every day until they realised they couldn't handle him any more. At first they'd been riding but then gave up as he was too awful. We discussed saddle, teeth, everything; but before spending any money I said why not take him back to where he was last happy, his previous yard. They took him back, and the moment he got off the truck he relaxed. That was 3 years ago and from that very moment he's been super; never put a foot wrong.

A useless tale, perhaps, but one that reminds us that horses can come across as very robust and sane but if something genuinely upsets them, they can change very quickly. Not getting caught, not wanting to be tacked up = all classic symptoms of a horse crying for help. In the case of this pony, we will never know why he hated the new yard so much. But he did.
 
I had some nice competition horses but I mainly produced them myself from.backong through the grades. I'm not inexperienced as am used backing youngsters and ha doing Colts etc. No recently
 
A freinds horse had a parasitic skin infection and she was miserable with it, she just didn't want to be touched at all. Freind has had the horse for years. Now infection is gone the mare is back to get usual self. You have a horse that is not only dealing with new people and new surroundings but feeling very uncomfortable as well. To be honest I'm not suprised he's acting up. See how your horse is when he is feeling better. Incidentally when I got my mare she was a madam to catch. Once she knew I wasn't going to give up and let her win she was fine .
 
You've only had the poor thing for two weeks! Horses can take months to settle down. Of course he's going to be different around you than he was at home, with people he knew and trusted. When I bought mine, he was awful for the first 6-8 weeks. Two weeks is nothing to make a decision on, especially if he's got a skin infection and is likely feeling sore/itchy/irritated the whole time anyway.

Get some experienced help and try to change your attitude towards him. If he's a sensitive chap he's probably picking up on how you're acting and behaving around him.
 
Thanks for all the advice I think I'm going to leave it there now as it's not.much help when people are commenting on how I'm behaving around him without knowing or seeing me or the horse. I just have to accept that for whatever reason he's feeling unsettled and may change in the future
 
Sometimes they take a while to settle in.
I tried my mare and she was perfect in almost every way, so I bought her. Not long afterwards she started rearing and kicking out while being lead to the field and running off from the mounting block. I did have several moments of doubt where I had no idea if I'd done the right thing or not. Turns out she was just adjusting to life in the field after being stabled. She's back to being her perfect self again now and I love her so so much :)
 
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