Bought a pony and feel totally out of my comfort zone

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WanderLust

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Hi all,

I've just joined up and looking for a bit of support. I bought a pony for me and my son to share and she's been at the livery stables for only three days. She's not allowed out in the field for two weeks with the other horses, so her routine is totally out.
On Sunday morning we both rode her and she was an angel. I couldn't ride her tonight as I didn't have time, so I just took her around the yard. She clearly wants to go out and keeps calling for the other horses and didn't really want to go back to her stable.

I'm a bit nervous and overwhelmed with it all after the initial euphoria wore off.

How long will it take for all this to feel normal? Right now I can only describe the feeling as the same one I had when I brought my newborns back from the hospital, terrifying and intense. I almost want to cry!

Is it normal to have mixed emotions when you get your first pony? I've waited years and years for this moment and I feel totally clueless.
 
Yes indeed, perfectly normal, lol,
What a pity she can't get out in a paddock as keeping her inside is likely to make he a bit fizzy, so best keep her on plenty of hay but not many nuts, if any.
 
Thank you Bonkers. The previous owner was giving her nuts and chaff, but as she's overweight, she's only having hay. She seems to be settling ok, but was a bit put out when I took her back to her stable earlier. I feel bad, I know it's only two weeks, but it's going to feel like a lifetime!
 
Normal, don't worry. Once you get a routine going you'll feel better!

If you can, get her a swede or something like a jolly ball to roll around the stable and keep her occupied.

Assuming in for QT, but I'd also suggest sorting a worm count now before out in the field with others!

Take your time and enjoy! As you're on a livery yard there will be plenty of lovely people to help you out (hopefully!) if you have any questions.
 
I've had horses for over 20 years, and currently stressed out that mines is in quarentine! Once she is out and you are all into a routine it gets much easier :)
 
Yes, the quarantine thing is stressing me out too. I work all day Monday and Tuesday and could barely concentrate today as I knew she would be in her stable probably feeling frustrated and confused. Also, there was only the yard owners daughter there and she was busy. Really I wanted to say 'please come over and talk to me and walk around with me!' But I managed to hold it in....��
 
Totally normal!! Got my first horse almost a year ago and the first night I left him I was anxious to get back and make sure he was ok!! Took a while but now I'm comfortable enough to just feel like 'ahh he'll be fine' if I'm not quite sure he had the right rug or some little thing that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things!

I did spend a few times thinking had I taken on too much at first but now I don't at all :)
 
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I had that feeling last night! I couldn't get to sleep for worrying! I've got to call the farrier, send off her passport, arrange for rug cleaning and register her at the vets. It's still sinking in that this is my responsibility. She's on part livery so I'm relieved that there are experienced people all around me answering my stupid questions!
 
WanderLust said:
I had that feeling last night! I couldn't get to sleep for worrying! I've got to call the farrier, send off her passport, arrange for rug cleaning and register her at the vets. It's still sinking in that this is my responsibility. She's on part livery so I'm relieved that there are experienced people all around me answering my stupid questions!
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I know it's crazy to think that you are responible for this beasty who you don't even see for most of the day! I had only ever loaned before so always had someone to ask or tell me how the horse would react in situations and stuff and it's so odd that it's all up to you to know these things! Don't be afraid to ask all the silly questions though :) most people are happy to help out and try not to worry too much and enjoy your pony!! She aounds lovely :D
 
Amye said:
I know it's crazy to think that you are responible for this beasty who you don't even see for most of the day! I had only ever loaned before so always had someone to ask or tell me how the horse would react in situations and stuff and it's so odd that it's all up to you to know these things! Don't be afraid to ask all the silly questions though :) most people are happy to help out and try not to worry too much and enjoy your pony!! She aounds lovely :D
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I'm still a bit nervous around her, even though she's very sound! I wanted to put fly spray on her but I don't know if she likes it. I knew I was taking on a big responsibility, but I don't think anything can really prepare you for it.
Thank you, she is lovely. I just hope I feel much more confident in a few months time.
 
WanderLust said:
I'm still a bit nervous around her, even though she's very sound! I wanted to put fly spray on her but I don't know if she likes it. I knew I was taking on a big responsibility, but I don't think anything can really prepare you for it.
Thank you, she is lovely. I just hope I feel much more confident in a few months time.
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I'm sure you will! I did after a few months :) just takes time to get used to them. When I got mine everyone said it takes a full year to know them properly as you go through all seasonal changes and everything with them and I think that's true. I feel completely relaxed with my boy now and it's nearly been a year.

if you're worried about anything just take small steps. My boy doesn't really like spray but he tolerates it just fidgety. If you're concerned just spray a bit by her, not at her, first and see how she reacts. If she's fine the spray a little bit on a non-sensitive area
 
I got my first boyo nearly a year ago. I had plenty of experience with working with horses but I'd had a break before coming back into riding and then had a fairly bad fall so my confidence was off.

He didn't settle in his first yard (neither did I) and I had really started to regret what I had done. Especially as he was very green, a bit skittish and although had apparently done some showjumping (with picture evidence) would freak out walking over a pole.

12 months on, he's turning into a fantastic little horse, has given me my confidence back (despite not being the easiest to ride) and he's the cuddliest loveliest thing and he's just great. I think I began to stop worrying and start enjoying it about 4 months in! And part livery is great as people help you out and you learn fast :)
 
Just adding support to others...yep totally normal to "feel" the responsibility but it will diminish and become a "normal" kind of responsibility..just like bringing the baby home for the first time..good analogy. Good luck - look forward to reading how you feel in a months time.
 
Thank you everybody for your kind words. Tonight I finish work late so I'll be going to see her, but is it ok for me to not take her out of her stable and just make a fuss of her in the stable instead? I know I'll be a bit stressed and don't want her to feel it. My son has a lesson on her tomorrow, will she be ok until then do you think?
 
WanderLust said:
Thank you everybody for your kind words. Tonight I finish work late so I'll be going to see her, but is it ok for me to not take her out of her stable and just make a fuss of her in the stable instead? I know I'll be a bit stressed and don't want her to feel it. My son has a lesson on her tomorrow, will she be ok until then do you think?
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Difficult to say really! I think I would go on how she seems when you get there. If she seems chilled out and happy then I don't think leaving her in there will do her any harm. If, when you arrive she seems full of energy and wants out it might be worth taking her for a walk round the yard just to stretch her legs perhaps? Or, you could even just tie her up outside her stable for a change of scenery and give her a good groom and fuss.
 
Does your yard have a horse walker? Might be worth asking if you can pop on for 20 minutes to give her something to do and a leg stretch etc.

If she is chilled then fine to leave in stable, give a good groom - you'll feel better and less stressed ;) and she'll enjoy it too!

One of my liveries is seriously moulting at the minute so he gets a good 10 minute curry comb in the mornings at the minute before going on the walker and back into his stable. He's coping very well and is shedding the pounds and started again on 1 hour turnout every other day. He can be a little on his toes if you hop on (haven't for a while as too fat for saddle, so long reining instead) but nothing bad, just got to stay relaxed and work through the initial excitement :)
 
I think you should be taking her out of the stable twice a day, for a walk and a nibble at grass verges, it is best to establish a routine, unfair to have her in a stable days on end when she is perfectly healthy.
I assume she is in quarantine, but any yard which insists on quarantine should have isolation facilities.
 
I finish early tomorrow and then that's my working week done, so I'll be taking her out loads as of tomorrow afternoon. There is no suitable hacking where we are and I have to cross a busy main road to get to a bridle path so she is only able to go in the schools or around the yard at the moment.
It's very frustrating being at work all day knowing she's itching to get out! I will try to stay calm.
 
Does she lunge, or are you allowed to let her loose in the school for 20 minutes to give her a proper leg stretch? Would also be a good way for her to learn your voice aids.
 
I think I might try her on the lunge later if I can, it will release a lot of energy that she's been building up. She's a bit unfit so I expect it won't take long!
 
I cried every day for the first 2 weeks after getting my mare. I was convinced I had done the wrong thing and the responsibility of owning her was crushing! I was terrified of her at times (she never put a foot wrong! It was my own anxiety holding me back). It took a good 6 weeks for things to fall into place for us. You sound just like me, the fly spray esp lol I didn't dare spray it on her because I didn't know how she would react. Are you still in touch with her previous owners?
I've had mine nearly 5 months now and we have settled into a good routine and she's happy, which is the most important thing. I can't and don't want to imagine my life without her now.
Just take each day at a time...
 
In regards to fly spray - a new livery turned up on tuesday (an unseen speed purchase my mother made *rollw eyes*) and went to spray him and he freaked out. Lots of strokes and soothing and he calmed down quickly. Found a flannel thingy so I'm spraying that and then wiping on him. He had no reaction to the bottle (usually horses that don't like it do) so I was a bit surprised, but if you are worried, then spray away from her to gauge reaction and then spray a non sensitive part of her - if no reaction then spray away! If you get a reaction then grab a sponge or flannel type thing, spray that and then wipe :)

Don't worry too much, especially as part livery will be very supportive!
 
Whizza said:
I cried every day for the first 2 weeks after getting my mare. I was convinced I had done the wrong thing and the responsibility of owning her was crushing! I was terrified of her at times (she never put a foot wrong! It was my own anxiety holding me back). It took a good 6 weeks for things to fall into place for us. You sound just like me, the fly spray esp lol I didn't dare spray it on her because I didn't know how she would react. Are you still in touch with her previous owners?
I've had mine nearly 5 months now and we have settled into a good routine and she's happy, which is the most important thing. I can't and don't want to imagine my life without her now.
Just take each day at a time...
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Thank you Whizza, it makes me feel so much better hearing that this is all normal! I still could ask the previous owner I suppose, but she would be bombarded with texts from me! I just have so many questions and I pretty much just ask the staff at the yard. You describe the feeling so well, crushing, that's exactly how it feels, and she's not giving me any reason to feel nervous, I just am. I'm glad that it all gets better in time. I gave her a good groom last night and she seemed to settle down quite nicely.
 
Kylara said:
In regards to fly spray - a new livery turned up on tuesday (an unseen speed purchase my mother made *rollw eyes*) and went to spray him and he freaked out. Lots of strokes and soothing and he calmed down quickly. Found a flannel thingy so I'm spraying that and then wiping on him. He had no reaction to the bottle (usually horses that don't like it do) so I was a bit surprised, but if you are worried, then spray away from her to gauge reaction and then spray a non sensitive part of her - if no reaction then spray away! If you get a reaction then grab a sponge or flannel type thing, spray that and then wipe :)

Don't worry too much, especially as part livery will be very supportive!
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Thank you Kylara, I'll try that tonight as flies are landing on her in her stable and she keeps itching the same spot. I would like to try a fly mask on her as well, but one step at a time...
 
WanderLust said:
Thank you Whizza, it makes me feel so much better hearing that this is all normal! I still could ask the previous owner I suppose, but she would be bombarded with texts from me! I just have so many questions and I pretty much just ask the staff at the yard. You describe the feeling so well, crushing, that's exactly how it feels, and she's not giving me any reason to feel nervous, I just am. I'm glad that it all gets better in time. I gave her a good groom last night and she seemed to settle down quite nicely.
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Your welcome :)

To start with I felt like I was constantly texting her old owner, but now it's just the odd time if I think of something I need to know.

I also found that taking her out in hand as much as I could really helped her start to trust me. Even if it was just for 10 mins, it all helps :) lots of luck and remember to breath xXx
 
Im another one who wondered what the hell i had done after buying my first horse.
It was awful , my husband works away all week and felt very anxious every time he rang, my whole mood depended on how I had got on with the horse. We had a shaky start to say the least.
I have had him about 7 years now and I absolutely adore him and somehow bought another one. My first horse is almost fully retired now and getting on a bit...Im going to be totally devastated when i loose him, which is amazing considering for the few first months i had days when i was totally at my wits end with him. Best thing i ever did!
 
If you are feeling anxious then spending time with her will help. Your heart rate well slow in an attempt to match hers and if you focus on stroking or grooming then you'll quickly feel better. Horses are very good at reducing anxiety - you just have to be close to them!
 
Well, I went to the yard after work and a couple of the girls helped me lunge her, and then one of them managed to get her to have a fly mask on and fly spray. I'm so glad she is at this yard as they are really helpful. I was speaking to another lady who has her horse on livery and she said she felt exactly the same five months ago when he first got there.
One of the girls said she would lunge her again in the morning, so I'm really relieved tonight! Still scared stiff, but relieved to have so much help. My goodness, they must think I'm a right muppet! :D
 
You're not a muppet - this is totally normal!

I'd treat the isolation as an opportunity to get to know her. Walks in hand, grooming, groundwork, long reining, riding, horse massage, carrot stretches ... Even just pulling manes or practising plaiting! It will all help the relationship and will keep the horse happier and occupied :) x
 
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